[Movie Script]Things My Father Never Taught Me, The

                      THE THINGS MY FATHER NEVER TAUGHT ME


Written by
Burleigh Smith
          DJANGO REINHARDT'S "TEA FOR TWO".


   FADE IN:


   INT.   LIVING ROOM   -   NIGHT.



ALBERT, a middle-aged man, feeds MELVIN, a two-year-old.
                    ADULT MELVIN (V.O.)

           I loved my father and he taught me

many useful things. But he didn't

teach me anything at all about

women. There was a time when I

resented that. And then, one day,

it occurred to me that perhaps he

didn't know all that much about

the fairer sex.
On the other side of the room, CORINNE, a vulgar,

morbidly obese woman, sits on the couch and devours a

large packet of potato chips.
                    ADULT MELVIN (V.O.)

           One look at my mother and I had

conclusive proof.
She burps loudly and gives a smile of satisfaction.
   EXT.   EAST PERTH STREETS    -    PRESENT DAY.


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