웹개발공작소

Disney's Mulan

Compiled by Barry Adams



during theater showings in 1998

Last updated: August 18, 1998

Mulan is the property and copyright of the Walt Disney Company, Inc.  The

script on this page was compiled while watching Mulan in the theater during

the summer of 1998 when the film originally aired.  Abuse of this page could

result in its removal from this site.
[Chinese guard is seen walking on The Great Wall.  Shan-Yu's falcon swoops

down and hits the guard on the head knocking his helmet off.  The falcon lands

on top of a flag pole in front of a full moon and lets out a large cry.  One

grappling hook comes over The Great Wall.  The guard walks over to the edge

and sees many grappling hooks coming towards him]
Guard [yelling]:  We're under attack!  Light the signal!
[Guard runs to the tower and up the ladder as Hun Bald Man #1 and Hun Long

Hair Man appear trying to stop him.  Hun Bald Man #1 breaks the ladder with

his sword just as Guard reaches the top.  The guard picks up the torch to

light the fire and sees Shan-Yu jump over the edge of the tower and looks at

him across from the caldron.  The guard throws the torch into the caldron

lighting a large fire.  Shan-Yu watches as each tower lights their caldrons

one by one]
Guard [sternly]:  Now all of China knows you're here.
Shan-Yu [taking the flag and holding it over the fire]:  Perfect.
[Cut to the palace.  The large doors to the central chamber open as General Li

walks in flanked on his left and right by soldiers and approaches the Emperor.

He bows, then looks up]
General Li:  Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our Northern border.
Chi Fu:  Impossible! No one can get through The Great Wall.  [The Emperor

motions for Chi Fu's silence]
General Li:  Shun-Yu is leading them.  We'll set up defenses around your

palace immediately.
Emperor [forcefully]:  No!  Send your troops to protect my people.  Chi Fu,
Chi Fu:  Yes, your highness.
Emperor: Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces.  Call up

reserves and as many new recruits as possible.
General Li:  Forgive me your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.
Emperor:  I wont take any chances, General.  A single grain of rice can tip

the scale.  One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.
[Cut to Mulan using her chopsticks to single out a grain of rice on top of the

mound of rice]
Mulan: Quiet and demure...graceful...polite...[picking up some rice with her

chopsticks and eating a mouthful] delicate...refined...poised... [She sets

down her chopsticks and writes down a final word on her right arm] punctual.

[A cock crows]  Aiya.  [Calling out]  Little brother. Little brother.  Lit-

ahhh, there you are.  Who's the smartest doggie in the world?  Come on smart

boy, can you help me with my chores today?
[Mulan ties a sack of grain around Little Brother's waist.  She ties a stick

onto Little brother so that end of it is in front of Little Brother's face.

She ties the bone on the end of the stick just out of reach.  Little Brother

begins to run after the bone which he cannot reach.  Mulan opens the door for

Little Brother and he runs into the door frame, then out the open door.

Little brother runs by the chickens and Khan - the family horse]
[Cut to Mulan's Father, Fa Zhou, kneeling and praying before the Fa family's

ancestors]
Fa Zhou:  Honorable ancestors, please help Mulan impress the matchmaker today.
Little Brother [running into the temple and around Fa Zhou scattering grain

around the floor]: Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
[The chickens follow Little Brother into the temple and begin to feed on the

grain]
Fa Zhou:  Please, PLEASE, help her.
[Mulan steps up to the temple seeing Little Brother on his hind legs trying to

get the bone.  Mulan bends the stick down so that Little brother can reach the

bone.  Little brother gnaws on the bone happily.  Mulan continues toward the

temple]
Mulan [calling out]: Father I brought your--whoop!  [Fa Zhou bumps into Mulan.

The cup falls to the ground and Fa Zhou catches the teapot with the handle of

his cane]
Fa Zhou:  Mulan--
Mulan:  I brought a spare. [Mulan pulls out a cup from underneath the back of

her dress and begins to pour the tea]
Fa Zhou:  Mulan--
Mulan [hurried]: Remember, the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning--
Fa Zhou:  Mulan--
Mulan:  And three at night.
Fa Zhou:  Mulan, you should already be in town.  We're counting on you to up--
Mulan:  --uphold the family honor.  Don't worry father.  I wont let you down.

[Mulan covers over the writing on her arm with here sleeve]  Wish me luck.

[Mulan hurries down the stairs]
Fa Zhou [calling out]:  Hurry!  [to himself] I'm going to...pray some more.

[Fa Zhou turns and walks back into the temple]
[Cut to the town with Fa Li looking worried]
Bath Lady [poking out of her building]:  Fa Li, is your daughter here yet?

The matchmaker is not a patient woman.  [She goes back into the building]
Fa Li:  Of all days to be late.  I should have prayed to the ancestors for

luck.
Grandma Fa [walking in with a Cri-Kee in a cage]:  How lucky can they be,

they're dead.  Besides,  I've got all the luck we'll need.  [Speaking to

Cri-Kee]  This is your chance to prove yourself.  [Cri-Kee chirps approvingly.

Grandma Fa covers her eyes steps into a busy street]
Fa Li [excitedly]:  Grandma No!
[The traffic barely misses Grandma Fa as she crosses the busy street.  But two

horse and carriage collide causing a big accident.  She arrives at the other

side of the street, uncovers here eyes and looks at Cri-Kee]
Grandma Fa:  Yep, this cricket's a lucky one. [Cri-Kee falls over out of

fright]
Fa Li [sighing in relief]:  Hai.
[Mulan arrives on Khan jumping over the recent accident in the street and

jumps off with hay stuck in her hair]
Mulan: I'm here.  [Seeing a stern look from her mother] What?  But Mama I had

to--
Fa Li:  None of your 'xcuses.  Now let's get you cleaned up. [They walk

together into the preparation area]
[Song: Honor to us all]
Bath Lady:  [all the while Bath Lady undresses Mulan and pushes her into the

Bath]

This is what you give me

to work with?

Well, honey, I've seen worse.

We're gonna turn

this sow's ear

Into a silk purse. [Bath Lady moves the silk partition aside showing Mulan in

the bath]
Mulan [spoken]:  It's freezing.
Fa Li [spoken]:  It would have been warm if you were here on time.
Bath Lady [washing Mulan's hair]:

We'll have you

Washed and dried

Primped and polished

till you glow with pride

Trust my recipe for

instant bride

You'll bring honor to us all
Fa Li [grabbing a sponge and Mulan's right arm to start cleaning her.  She

notices the writing] [spoken]:  Mulan, what's this?
Mulan [Drawing her arm back and batting her eyelashes] [spoken]:  Ahh, notes,

in case I forget something?
Grandma Fa [spoken]:  Here, hold this [hands the cricket to Fa Li].  We'll

need more luck than I thought.  [Mulan looks on with an air of disappointment]
[Cut to the hair dressers]
Hair Dresser 1 [Brushing and combing Mulan's hair much to Mulan's chagrin]:

Wait and see

When we're through
Hair Dresser 2:

Boys will gladly go to

war for you
Hair Dresser 1:

With good fortune
Hair Dresser 2 [Finalizing the hairdo to look exactly like hers]:

And a great hairdo
Both:

You'll bring honor to us all
Fa Li and others:  [Mulan following her Mother passes a xiangqi game and

pauses to make an impressive move.  Mulan has a smug look on her face when Fa

Li comes back and drags Mulan away]

A girl can bring her family

Great honor in one way

By striking a good match

And this could be the day
Dresser 1 [Dresser 1, Dresser 2, and Fa Li dress Mulan]:

Men want girls

with good taste
Dresser 2:

Calm
Fa Li:

Obedient
Dresser 1:

Who work fast-paced
Fa Li:

With good breeding
Dresser 2 [Pulling the dress tight around her waist]:

And a tiny waist
Mulan [expressing her waist being squeezed tight] [spoken]: huh.
All Three:

You'll bring honor to us all
Chorus:  [Mulan follows Fa Li and sees boy stealing a doll from a girl.  Mulan

grabs the doll from the boy and returns it to its owner]

We all must serve

our Emperor

Who guards us from the Huns

A man by bearing arms

A girl by bearing sons
Make-up Lady/Fa Li: [Putting on Mulan's face, powder, lipstick and eye liner]

[in a 3 person round]

When we're through

you can't fail

Like a lotus blossom

soft and pale

How could any fellow

say "No sale"

You'll bring honor to us all

[Make-Up Lady holds a mirror so Mulan can see her reflection.  Not looking

pleased, Mulan takes her single, short bang and brings it down in front of her

forehead and smiles]
Fa Li [spoken. Fa Li places a hair comb in Mulan's hair]:  There, you're

ready.
Grandma Fa [spoken]:  Not yet! An apple for serenity [putting an apple in

Mulan's mouth]...A pendant for balance [places a yin-yang pendant under her

sash] [sings]
Beads of jade for beauty [putting beads around Mulan's neck]

You must proudly show it [Grandma Fa raises her chin high with her hand]

Now add a cricket just for luck [putting the cage with Cri-Kee under Mulan's

sash in the back.  Cri-Kee doesn't look pleased]

And even you can't blow it
Mulan:  [Walking to catch up with the other maidens]

Ancestors

Hear my plea

Help me not to make a fool of me

And to not uproot my fam'ly tree

Keep my father standing tall
Maidens and Mulan: [Mulan taking the parasol from Fal Li and running to fall

in line with the other 4 maidens]

Scarier than the undertaker

We are meeting our

matchmaker
All Townspeople:

Destiny

Guard our girls

And our future

as it fast unfurls

Please look kindly on

these cultured pearls

Each a perfect porcelain doll
Maiden #1:  Please bring honor to us

Maiden #2:  Please bring honor to us

Maiden #3:  Please bring honor to us

Maiden #4:  Please bring honor to us

Mulan and Maidens:  Please bring honor to us all!
[All Girls and Mulan arrive before the Matchmaker crouched down behind their

parasols.  End of song]
Matchmaker [looking at her clipboard]:  Fa Mulan
Mulan [Jumping up and raising her hand]:  Present.
Matchmaker:  Speaking without permission.
Mulan:  Oops.
Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]:  Who spit in her bean curd?
[Mulan walks into the Matchmaker's building with the Matchmaker following

behind and closing the door]
Matchmaker [looking over Mulan]: Huh, Hmm, too skinny.  [Cri-Kee escapes from

his cage.  Mulan struggles to catch him] Hmph, not good for bearing sons.

[Mulan puts Cri-Kee in her mouth when Matchmaker turns around to face her]

Recite the final admonition.
Mulan [nodding and smiling]:  Mmm-Hmm.  [Takes out fan and covers her mouth as

she spits out Cri-Kee] Ptu
Matchmaker:  Well...
Mulan [with dignity]: Fulfill your duties calmly and re...f--[looking at her

arm with smeared writing] spectfully.  Reflect before you snack [surprised,

Mulan looks at her arm again] act.  [now rapidly] This shall bring you honor

and glory.  [Fanning herself rapidly and sighing in relief] Huh.
Matchmaker [snatches the fan and looks at it on both sides looking for notes

not finding any.  Mulan smiles big when Matchmaker looks at her.  Matchmaker

grabs Mulan's right arm pulling her along while smearing the writing and

leaving some ink on her hand]  Hmmm, this way.  Now, pour the tea  [Pushing a

teapot towards Mulan].  To please your future in-laws you must demonstrate a

sense of dignity [Matchmaker smears ink around her mouth.  Mulan staring at

Matchmaker pours some tea onto the table then notices her mistake and pours

the tea into the cup] and refinement.  You must also be poised.  [Mulan

notices Cri-kee in the tea-cup as Matchmaker takes the cup]
Mulan [quiet and timid]:  Um, pardon me.
Matchmaker:  And silent! [Matchmaker sniffs the tea]
Mulan [reaching and grabbing the teacup]:  Could I just take that back...one

moment.
[They struggle for the teacup and it turns over on Matchmaker and Cri-kee

jumps down matchmaker's dress]
Matchmaker:  Why you clumsy--[Matchmaker feels Cri-Kee in her dress and dances

around]  Wooo, woooo, wooooooo, [Matchmaker knocks over her pot of coals, and

sits down on the coals.  Matchmaker jumps around screaming]  Ahhhhhhhhhhh

[Mulan grabs her fan and briskly fans the charred area on Matchmaker's behind

causing it to flame up.  Mulan looks surprised about her mistake]
[Cut to outside Matchmakers building showing Grandma Fa with much noise coming

from Matchmaker's building]
Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]:  I think it's going well, don't you?
Matchmaker [running out of the building screaming]:  Put it out! Put it out!

Put it out! [Mulan takes the teapot, throws the tea on Matchmaker and puts out

the fire.  She bows, hands the teapot back to Matchmaker and covers her face

as she walks toward Fa Li and Grandma Fa] [with anger]  You are a disgrace!

[Matchmaker throws the teapot down smashing it to pieces]  You may look like a

bride, but you will never bring your family honor!
[The townsfolk who have gathered whisper and walk away]
[Cut to Mulan walking through the gate with her home leading khan.  She looks

sorrowful.  Fa Zhou sees his daughter and smiles.  Mulan sees her father's

smile.  She covers her face with Khan's head and leads him to the water

trough]
[Song: Reflection]
Mulan:

Look at me [looking at her reflection in the water trough]

I will never pass for

a perfect bride [taking off her earrings and beads of jade]

Or a perfect daughter [Mulan watches Fa Li relating what happened at the

Matchmaker's to Fa Zhou]

Can it be

I'm not meant to play

this part?  [Mulan releases Cri-Kee back to the wild]

Now I see

That if I were to truly

To be myself [Mulan hops along the bridge railing]

I would break my

family's heart
Who is that girl I see  [Mulan looks into the pond and sees her own

reflection]

Staring straight

Back at me? [Mulan puts her hand on the Great Stone Dragon and looks toward

the temple]

Why is my reflection someone

I don't know? [Cri-Kee rowing across the pond on a lily pad]

Somehow I cannot hide [Mulan walking into the family temple]

Who I am [Cri-Kee watches Mulan in the temple seeing multiple reflections of

herself in the ancestors' stones]

Though I've tried  [Mulan bows to the ancestors]

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?  [Mulan finishes wiping off her make-up seeing her reflection

in the stones]

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside? [Mulan gets up and heads out the temple]
[End of song.  Mulan sits on a bench under the blossom tree.  Fa Zhou

approaches her, clearing his throat.  Mulan sees him approaching and turns her

head away.  Fa Zhou sits down beside Mulan]
Fa Zhou:  My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year [looking up into

the blossom tree].  But look, this one's late.  But, I'll bet that when it

blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.  [Mulan and Fa Zhou share

smiles.  Drums start pounding announcing the arrival of Chi Fu and two guards

on horseback]
Mulan:  What is it?
[Fa Zhou gets up and walks to the entrance of their house with Mulan

following]
Fa Li:  Mulan, stay inside.
[Grandma Fa clears her throat catching Mulan's attention and motions inside.

Mulan spies the railing near the wall and climbs up to watch over the roof]
Chi Fu:  Citizens  I bring you a proclamation from the Imperial City:  the

Huns have invaded China!
Townspeople [expressing surprise]:  No!
Chi Fu:  By order of the Emperor, one man from every family must serve in the

Imperial Army.  The Xiao family [a family member steps up, bows to the guard

and takes the conscription notice from the guard].  The Yi family.
Yi's Son [holding his old father back]:  I will serve the Emperor in my

father's place.
Chi Fu:  The Fa Family.
Mulan:  No.
[Fa Zhou gives his cane to Fa Li and walks toward Chi Fu.  Fa Zhou bows before

the horsemen]
Fa Zhou [standing proud]:  I am ready to serve the Emperor.  [Fa Zhou reaches

for the conscription notice]
Mulan [running outside to keep her father from taking the conscription

notice]:  Father, you can't go.
Fa Zhou [turning to see his daughter]:  Mulan!
Mulan:  Please sir, my father has already fought bravely--
Chi Fu:  Silence!  You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue

in a man's presence.
Fa Zhou [looking away from Mulan]:  Mulan, you dishonor me.
[Grandma Fa guides Mulan back away]
Chi Fu [handing Fa Zhou the conscription notice]:  Report tomorrow at the Wu

Shu camp.
Fa Zhou:  Yes, sir. [Fa Zhou walks back into the homestead refusing to take

his cane from Fa Li]
Chi Fu [fading out as we follow Fa Zhou]:  The Chu family.  The Wen family.

The Chang family.  The...
[Cut to Fa Zhou in his armory at night.  Fa Zhou takes out his sword and

practices his stances.  Whan he balances on his right leg, his leg injury acts

up and he falls.  Unbeknownst to her father, Mulan watches in horror.  She

breathes heavily]
[Cut to dinner.  The Fa Zhou, Grandma Fa, Fa Li, and Mulan eat in silence.

Thunder can be heard and lightning can be seen through the opaque window.

Mulan pours the tea for her family.  She slams her teacup down on the table

and stands up]
Mulan:  You shouldn't have to go.
Fa Li:  Mulan!
Mulan:  There are plenty of young men to fight for China.
Fa Zhou:  It is an honor to protect my country and my family.
Mulan [angrily]:  So you'll die for honor!
Fa Zhou [standing up and angered]:  I will DIE doing what's right.
Mulan [starts to speak but is cut off]: But if you--
Fa Zhou:  I know my place, it is time you learned yours.
[Mulan looking like she's about to cry, turn away from Fa Zhou and runs

outside into the rain storm and cries]
[Cut to Mulan sitting at the base of the Great Stone Dragon in the rain.

Mulan looks down to see her reflection in the puddle caused by the rain. She

watches her parents in the bedroom.  Fa Li turns away from Fa Zhou and walks

out of site.  Fa Zhou blows out the light.  Mulan gets up and walks to the Fa

Family Temple.  Mulan's image reflects off the stone tablets as she lights

incense and places it in the hanging encense holder.  She bows and prays to

her ancestors. Getting up, Mulan hurries down the steps.  Cri-Kee sees her and

hops down from above and follows her.  Mulan goes to her parent's bedroom and

takes the conscription notice replacing it with the hair comb her mother gave

to her.  She pauses to give her parents a loving, sorrowful look and hurries

out.  Cut to Mulan in the armory.  She opens the cabinet with the armor.

Using her father's sword, she cuts her hair short and ties it up above her

head.  She finishes putting on the armor and ties it in the front.  She takes

the sword and places it in the scabbard to her left.  Cut to Mulan in the

stable doorway.  Khan rears back in fright at the sight of Mulan.  Mulan goes

forward and comforts Khan letting him know her identity.  Mulan walks Khan out

of the stable, Cri-Kee watches from the ground as she passes by.  Mulan takes

one sorrowful glance back at her parents bedroom and rides Khan through the

gate and off to camp.]
[Cut to the face of a statue in the Fa Family Temple.  The eyes glow.  Cut to

Grandma Fa.  She wakes up with a start rising in bed.  Cut to Grandma Fa

walking into Fa Li and Fa Zhou's bedroom, both are in bed]
Grandma Fa:  Mulan is gone.
Fa Zhou [waking up]:  What?  It can't be.  [Fa Zhou looks at his night stand

and notices the hair comb in place of his conscription notice.  He checks the

cabinet and sees his armor is gone.  He hurries outside] [calling out]  Mulan!

[He stumbles while walking because of his leg injury] No.
Fa Li [kneeling down beside the fallen Fa Zhou]:  You must go after her.  She

could be killed!
Fa Zhou [sadly]:  If I reveal her, she will be. [Fa Zhou embraces Fa Li]
Grandma Fa:  Ancestors, hear our prayer: Watch over Mulan.
[Cut to the Fa Family Temple.  A wind blows out the incense at the base of the

center stone.  The center stone begins to glow as First Ancestor comes to

life]
First Ancestor [motioning to a bronze dragon]:  Mushu, awaken!
[Mushu comes to life and falls to the ground flat on his back all being

obscured by smoke]
Mushu [rising from the smoke arms stretched out]:  I live!  So tell me what

mortal needs my protection Great Ancestor.  You just say the word and I'm

there.
First Ancestor [agitated]:  Mushu!
Mushu:  Hey, let me say something. Anybody who is foolish enough to threaten

our family, vengeance will be MINE.  Hrrrrr.
First Ancestor [sternly to silence Mushu]:  Mushu!  These are the family

guardians [motioning towards the stone statues on pedestals near the ceiling].

They...
Mushu [dejectedly]:  Protect the family.
First Ancestor [pointing to the empty pedestal]:  And you, oh demoted one.
Mushu:  I...ring the gong.
First Ancestor:  That's right, now, wake up the ancestors.
Mushu:  One family reunion coming right up.  [ringing the gong] Okay people,

people look alive, lets go! C'mon get up.  Let's move it, rise and shine.

You're way past the beauty sleep thing now trust me!
Ancestor 1:  I knew it, I knew it. That Mulan was a trouble maker from the

start.
Ancestor 3:  Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family.
Ancestor 2:  She's just trying to help her father.
Ancestor 4 [appearing out of thin air]:  But, if she is discovered, Fa Zhou

will be forever shamed.  Dishonor will come to the family.  Traditional values

will disintegrate.
Ancestor 5:  Not to mention they'll lose the farm.
Ancestor 1:  My children never caused such trouble.  They all became

acupuncturists.
Ancestor 3:  Well, We can't all be acupuncturists.
Ancestor 6:  No, your great granddaughter had to be cross-dresser!
[All ancestors argue at once, except First Ancestor]
Ancestor 7:  Let a guardian bring her back.
Ancestor 8 [grabbing Mushu and bringing him next to a guardian]: Yeah, awaken

the most cunning.
Ancestor 4 [taking Mushu and holding him next to the stone rabbit guardian]:

No, the swiftest.
Ancestor 9 [grabbing Mushu and holding him next to the stone monkey guardian]:

No, send the wisest.
First Ancestor:  Silence!  We must send the most powerful of all [Motioning to

the Great Stone Dragon as it is seen through the window]
Mushu [climbs up the empty guardian post laughing]:  Ho, ho, heh, heh. Okay,

okay, I get the drift, I'll go. [All Ancestors give a quick look of surprise

and laugh uncontrollably]  You all don't think I can do it.  Watch this here.

[Mushu produces a small flame from his mouth]  Ah, ha, Jump back, I'm pretty

hot huh.  Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.
First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling away from the post]:  You had your

chance to protect the Fa family.
Ancestor 6:  Your mis-guidance led Fa Deng to disaster.
Fa Deng [with his decapitated head on his lap]:  Yeah, thanks a lot.
Mushu:  And your point is?
First Ancestor:  The point is we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve

Mulan.
Mushu:  What?  But I'm a real dragon.
First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling him away from the guardian post as

Mushu fights to hold on]:  You are not worthy of this spot.  Now, awaken the

Great Stone Dragon.  [First Ancestor throws Mushu out of the temple]
Mushu [looking back into the temple]:  So you'll get back to me on the job

thing.
[An ancestor throws Mushu's gong and hits Mushu in the face]
Mushu [walking with a slouch and banging the gong on the ground]:  Just one

chance is that too much to ask?  I mean, it's not like it'll kill ya.
Mushu [rings the gong and looks at the Great Stone Dragon]:  Yo rocky, wake

up!  You gotta go fetch Mulan.  [pauses as nothing happens.  Mushu walks over

to the side of the statue] C'mon boy, go get her, go on, [throws the gong

stick off the screen and whistles] Come on.  [Angrily while climbing up the

Great Stone Dragon] Grrr, Grrrr.  [speaking in his ear and banging the ear

with the gong] Hello, helloooooo. [curtly] Hello [bangs the gong extra hard

against the ear causing it to break off].  Uh oh.  [The Great Stone Dragon

crumbles to the ground, head intact minus the ear].  [knocks on the dragon's

head] Uh, Stoney, Stooooneeey.  Oh man, they're gonna kill me!
First Ancestor [calling out through the temple window]:  Great Stone Dragon,

have you awaken?
Mushu [holding the head of the Great Stone Dragon up to that First Ancestor

can only see it's head and Mushu's body]:  Uhhh, Yes, I just woke up.  And I

am the Great Stone Dragon, good morning [Mushu waves].  I will go forth and

fetch Mulan.  Did, did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?
First Ancestor:  Go, The fate of the Fa Family rests in your claws.
Mushu:  Don't even worry about it, I will not lose face.  [Mushu falls down

the hill under the weight of the Great Stone Dragon's head and lands on the

dragon's pedestal with the head falling on top of him]
Mushu [muffled]:  Ow, my elbow.  Aw, aw, I know I twisted something.

[Throwing the head off him]  That's just great.  Now what?  I'm doomed!   And

all 'cause miss man decides to take her little drag show on the road.
[Cri-Kee enters stage right]
Cri-Kee:  Chirp, Chirp.
Mushu:  Go get her?   What's the matter with you?  After this great stone

Humpty Dumpty mess, I'd have to bring her home with a medal to get back in the

temple.  Wait a minute, that's it!  I make Mulan a war hero, then they'll be

begging me to come back to work.  That's the master plan.  Oh, you've gone and

done it now. [Mushu runs off stage right]
Cri-Kee [hopping along side of Mushu]:  Chirp.  Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Mushu [pushing Cri-Kee away]:  Hey, what makes you think you're coming?
Cri-Kee:  Chirp, Chirp.
Mushu:  You're lucky?  Ho, ho, heh.  Do I look like a sucker to you?
Cri-Kee:  Chirp. Chirp.
Mushu:  Whach' you mean loser?  How 'bout I pop one of your antenna's off and

throw it across the yard.  Then who's a loser, me or you?
[Interlude]
[Cut to Shan-Yu leading his army at a charge on horseback through a forest.

He stops and motions stage right.  Hun Archer, Hun Strong Guy, Hun Long-Hair

Guy dismount and walk into the forest.  They throw down two Imperial scouts

before the rest of the army]
Hun Long-Hair Guy:  Imperial scouts.
[Shan Yu dismounts and walks towards the scouts]
Scout #1:  Shan-Yu.
[He crouches down in front of them]
Shan-Yu [adjusting Scout #1's collar]:  Nice work, gentlemen.  You found the

Hun army. [motioning to the soldiers on horseback.  The Hun army laughs]
Scout #2:  The Emperor will stop you.
Shan-Yu [grabs Scout #2 by the shirt collar and lifts him up to his face]:

Stop me?  He invited me.  By building his wall, he challenged my strength.

Well I'm here to play his game  [Shan-Yu throws Scout #2 to the ground and

points his sword at Scout #1 as he gets up and runs] [calling out to the

scouts] Go!  Tell your emperor to send his strongest armies.  [Quietly]  I'm

ready.
[The Imperial Scouts run off towards the palace]
Shan-Yu [scratching his chin]:  How many men does it take to deliver a

message.
Archer Guy [drawing back his bow]:  One.
[End Interlude]
[Cut to Mulan on a hill outside of the camp.  Khan is sitting watching]
Mulan:  Okay, okay, how 'bout this?  Ahem, [in her manly voice] excuse me,

where do I sign in?  Hah, I see you have a sword.  I have one too.  They're

very manly and tough [Mulan bites her lip as she mishandles pulling the sword

out of the scabbard and it falls to the ground.  Khan rolls on his back in

laughter.  Mulan throws her shoe and hits Khan in the head with it quieting

Khan].  I'm working on it.  Who am I fooling?  It's going to take a miracle to

get me into the army.
[Mushu appears as a giant shadow being cast on a rock with flames on either

side.  Mushu's real appearance remains out of sight]
Mushu [in a Southern Baptist Preacher's voice]:  Did I hear someone ask for a

miracle!?  Let me hear you say aye!
Mulan [Running and hiding behind a rock]:  Ahhhhhh.
Mushu:  That's close enough.
Mulan [from behind a rock]:  Ghost.
Mushu:  Get ready Mulan your serpentine salvation is at hand.  For I have

been sent by your ancestors-- [notices Cri-Kee making a hand shadow of a

dragon on the rock and stamps him down with his foot] to guide you through

your masquerade.  [bending down to Cri-Kee]  C'mon, you're gonna stay you're

gonna work. [returning to Mulan] Heed my word, 'cause if the army finds out

that you are a girl, the penalty is death. [big flames shoot up from the

rocks]
Mulan:  Who are you?
Mushu:  Who am I?  Who am I?  I am the guardian of lost souls. [Mulan smiles

big in anticipation of seeing her guardian] I am the powerful, the

pleasurable, the indestructible [coming out from the rocks to show his real

size] Mushu! Oh hah, hah, pretty hot, huh? [Khan stomps on Mushu.  Mulan

pushes Khan back]
Mulan:  Ah, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Mushu:  Hey, dragon, dragon,  not lizard.  I don't do that tongue thing [flips

out his tongue to show Mulan what he means].
Mulan:  You're uh...
Mushu:  Intimidating?  Awe inspiring?
Mulan [making a hand gesture to denote his smallness of size]: Tiny.
Mushu [with a look of disappointment]:  Of course.  I'm travel size for your

convenience.  If I was my real size, your cow here [patting Khan on the nose]

would die of fright.  [Khan tries to bite Mushu]  [pointing to the ground

speaking to Khan] Down Bessy.  My powers are beyond your mortal imagination.

For instance, [leaning in and looking at Mulan's chest] my eyes can see

straight through your armor.  [Mulan cover her bust with her left arm and

slaps Mushu with the right]  Ow.  [angrily] All right, that's it!  Dishonor!

Dishonor on your whole family.  [aside to Cri-Kee] Make a note of this

[Cri-Kee grabs a leaf and a pen and starts writing].  [Loudly with gusto]

Dishonor on you.  Dishonor on your cow.  Dis-
Mulan [pleadingly while covering Mushu's mouth]:  Stop!  I'm sorry, I'm sorry

[kneeling down in front of Mushu].  I'm just nervous.  I've never done this

before.
Mushu: Then you're gonna have to trust me.  And don't you slap me no more, we

clear on that?  [Mulan nods emphatically].  All right.  Okey dokey, let's get

this show on the road.  Cri-Kee, get the bags [Mushu starts walking to the

camp].  [to Khan] Let's move it heifer.
[Cut to Mulan at the camp's entrance]
Mushu [hiding in Mulan's armor poking his head out from her back]:  Okay this

is it, time to show 'em your man walk.  Shoulders back,  chest high, feet

apart, head up [Mushu pulls Mulan's head back]  ...and strut 2, 3, break it

down, 2, 3 and work it, [Mulan walks into the camp drawing the attention the

men who see her.  Mulan walks into a tent and sees a man picking his nose and

another man picking out dirt from between his toes with chopsticks] Beautiful

isn't it?
Mulan [making a face of disgust and continuing to walk]:  They're disgusting.
Mushu:  No, they're men.  And you're going to have to act just like them, so

pay attention.
[Mulan stops and watches Yao, Ling, Chien-Po and Tattoo Soldier]
Tattoo Soldier [showing the dragon tattoo on his chest and belly]:  Look, this

tattoo will protect me from harm.
[Yao thinks for a moment, then punches Tattoo Soldier in the stomach causing

Ling to laugh.  Mulan watches in utter amazement.  Yao kisses his hand]
Ling [laughing]:  I hope you can get your money back.
Mulan:  I don't think I can do this.
Mushu:  It's all attitude.  Be tough like this guy here [looking at Yao].
[Mulan looks at Yao as he hocks up a loogie and spits]
Yao [noticing Mulan watching him]:  What are you looking at?
Mushu:  Punch him, it's how men say 'hello.'
[Mulan looks at her fist, then punches Yao from behind on the shoulder.  The

force causes Yao to run into Chien-Po]
Chien-Po:  Oh Yao, you made a friend.
Mushu:  Good, Now slap him on the behind, they like that.
[Mulan slaps Yao on the behind]
Yao:  Wu hoo hooooo.  [grabbing Mulan buy the collar]  I'm going to hit you so

hard it'll make your ancestors dizzy.
Chien-Po [Holding and picking up Yao]:  Yao, relax and chant with me.

Yaaaaaaa Moouuuu Ahhhhhh Doooou Fuuuu Daaaaa.
 
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