\ub098\uc5d0\uac8c \uac1c\uac00 \uc788\ub2e4\uba74 \uc678\ub85c\uc6c0\uc744 \ud0c0\uc9c0 \uc54a\uc744\uac83\uc774\ub2e4, \uadf8\ub7ec\ub098 \ub108\ubb34\ub098 \ub9ce\uc740 \uc694\uad6c\ub97c \ud558\ub294\uac70\uac9f\uc9c0?<\/p>\n
Why doesn’t that Devil take me with him? It would be much better with him than it is here.<\/p>\n
When he says he loves me, it only means he loves me at that particular instant. Like his promises, which he never keeps. Why does he torment me like this, when he could finish it off at once?<\/p>\n
What is important is not to give up hope. I should have learned to be patient by now.<\/p>\n
We’ll see. If I don’t get an answer before this evening, I’ll take 25 pills and gently fall asleep into another world.<\/p>\n
Today I bought two lottery tickets, because I had a feeling that it would be now or never – they were both blanks. So I am not going to be rich after all. Nothing at all to be done about it.<\/p>\n
There is only one thing I want. I would like to be seriously ill, and to hear nothing more about him for at least a week. Why doesn’t something happen to me? Why do I have to go through all this? If only I had never set eyes on him!<\/p>\n
So he has had a head full of politics all this time, but surely it is time he relaxed a little. What happened last year? Didn’t Roehm and Italy give him a lot of problems, but in spite of all that he found time for me.<\/p>\n
Perhaps he wanted to be alone with Dr. G., who was here, but he should have let me know. At Hoffmann’s I felt I was sitting on hot coals, expecting him to arrive every moment.<\/p>\n
On Sunday he promised I could see him. I telephoned to the Osteria and left a message with Werlin to say that I was waiting to hear from him. He simply went off to Feldafing, and refused Hoffmann’s invitation to coffee and dinner. I suppose there are two s<\/p>\n
In the end we went to the railroad station, as he suddenly decided he would have to go. We were just in time to see the last lights of the train disappearing. Once again Hoffmann left the house too late, and so I couldn’t even say good-by to him. Perhaps I<\/p>\n
I sat with him for three hours and we did not exchange a single word. At the end he handed me, as he had done before, an envelope with money in it. It would have been much nicer if he had enclosed a greeting or a loving word. I would have been so pleased i<\/p>\n
I have now reached the happy age of 23. No, happy is not quite the right word. At this particular moment I am certainly not happy.<\/p>\n
I have made up my mind to take 35 pills this time, and it will be “dead certain.” If only he would let someone call.”<\/p>\n
I am so infinitely happy that he loves me so much, and I pray that it will always be like this. It won’t be my fault if he ever stops loving me.<\/p>\n
I am racking my brains to find out why he left without saying good-by to me.<\/p>\n
He only needs me for certain purposes, otherwise it is not possible. This is idiocy.<\/p>\n
He has so often told me he is madly in love with me, but what does that mean when I haven’t had a good word from him in three months?<\/p>\n
He came to see me, but nary a sign of a dog or a chest of drawers. He did not even ask me what I wanted for my birthday. So I bought some jewelry for myself. A necklace, earrings, and a matching ring, all for 50 marks. All very pretty, and I hope he likes<\/p>\n
He came on Saturday. Saturday evening there was the Town Ball. Frau Schwarz gave me a box, so I absolutely had to go after I had accepted. Well, I spent a few wonderfully delightful hours with him until 12 o’clock and then with his permission I spent two h<\/p>\n
God, I am afraid he won’t give me his answer today. If only somebody would help me – it is all so terribly depressing.<\/p>\n
Frau Schaub came as an ambassador bringing flowers and telegrams. The result is that my whole office resembles a flower shop and smells like a cemetery chapel.<\/p>\n
XX \ud638\ud154\uc5d0 \uac00\ubd24\ub0d0\uace0. \ucc3d\ud53c\ud558\uad70. (\ub0b4\uac00) \uc5b4\uc81c \uac70\uae30\uc11c \uc7a4\uc796\uc544<\/p>\n
\uccad\ucde8\uc790 \uc5ec\ub7ec\ubd84\uc774 \ub290\ub07c\uc168\uc744 \ubc30\uc2e0\uac10\uc744 \uc0dd\uac01\ud558\uba74 \uadf8\uc57c\ub9d0\ub85c \uc950\uad6c\uba4d\uc5d0\ub77c\ub3c4 \uc228\uace0\uc2f6\uc740 \ub9c8\uc74c\uc785\ub2c8\ub2e4<\/p>\n
\uc9c0\uae08\ub3c4 \ub3c8 \ub0b4\uace0 \ud45c \uc0ac\ub294 \uc0ac\ub78c\uc774 \uc788\ub2e4\ub354\ub77c. \uad6d\ud68c\uc758\uc6d0 \ubf51\uc544\ubd24\uc790 \ubc30\uc2e0\uac10\ub9cc \uc0dd\uae38 \ubfd0\uc774\ub2e4.<\/p>\n
\uc9c0\uae08 \uc5b4\ub514 \uc0b4\uc544\uc694? \uc544\ud30c\ud2b8? 28\ud3c9? \uad1c\ucc2e\ub124. \ud5c8\ud5c8<\/p>\n
\uc81c\uac00 \ub298 \uc74c\uc8fc\uc6b4\uc804 \uc548\ub41c\ub2e4\uace0 \ub9d0\ud558\ub2e4 \uc774\ub7f0 \uaf34\uc774 \ub410\uc73c\ub2c8 \uc774\ubc88 \uae30\ud68c\uc5d0 \uc815\ub9d0 \ubc29\uc1a1\uc5d0\uc11c \uc190\uc744 \ub5bc\uc57c\uaca0\ub2e4\uace0 \uc0dd\uac01\ud588\uc5b4\uc694. \uadf8\uac8c \uccad\ucde8\uc790\ub4e4\uc5d0\uac8c \ubc30\uc2e0\uac10\uc744 \uc870\uae08\uc774\ub098\ub9c8 \ub35c\uc5b4\ub4dc\ub9ac\ub294 \uc77c\uc778 \uac83 \uac19\uc544\uc11c…<\/p>\n
\uc81c\uac00 \uad74\ub7ec\uc628 \ubcf5\uc744 \ucc28\ubc84\ub9b0 \uac70\uc8e0.<\/p>\n
\uc815\ubd80\uac00 \uacf5\uc801\uc790\uae08\uc744 \uc798\ubabb \uc6b4\uc601\ud574 \uad6d\ubbfc \ud55c\uba85\ub2f9 200\ub9cc\uc6d0\uc529 \ubb3c\uac8c \ub410\ub2e4. \ub098\ub77c\uac00 \uc0b4\ub9bc\uc744 \uc798\ubabb\ud574 \uad6d\ubbfc\uc774 \uace0\uc0dd\ud55c\ub2e4.<\/p>\n
\uc800\ub294 \uc544\uc9c1\ub3c4 \uc220\uc774 \uc548 \uae7c\uc2b5\ub2c8\ub2e4.<\/p>\n
\uc778\uc131\uc774 \uc911\uc694\ud558\ub2e4. \uc778\uc131\uc744 \uc798 \ud0a4\uc6cc\uc57c \ubc29\uc1a1\uc744 \uc798\ud55c\ub2e4.<\/p>\n
\uc774\ud68c\ucc3d \ud55c\ub098\ub77c\ub2f9 \ud6c4\ubcf4\uc758 \uc544\ub4e4 \uc815\uc5f0\uc528\uc758 \ubcd1\uc5ed\ube44\ub9ac \uc758\ud639\uc744 \ub458\ub7ec\uc2fc \uacf5\ubc29\uc774 \uc9c0\uacb9\ub2e4. \ud14c\uc774\ud504\uac00 \uc788\uc73c\uba74 \ub0b4\ub194\ubcf4\ub77c.<\/p>\n
\uc774\uba85\ubc15 \uc11c\uc6b8\uc2dc\uc7a5\uc774 \uc218\ud574\uc9c0\uc5ed\uc5d0 \uc0ac\ub294 \uc8fc\ubbfc\ub4e4\uc5d0\uac8c \uc804\uc138\uc790\uae08\uc744 \ube4c\ub824\uc8fc\uae30\ub85c \ud588\ub2e4. \ub9d0\uc774\ub77c\ub3c4 \uc5bc\ub9c8\ub098 \uc18d\uc774 \uc2dc\uc6d0\ud558\ub0d0.<\/p>\n
\uc720\ub2ec\uc0b0\uc740 \uac00\ubd24\ub0d0. \uc5ec\uc790\ub791 \uac00\ubd24\ub0d0\uace0.<\/p>\n
\uc694\uc998\uc740 \uac00\uc218\ub4e4\uacfc \uc74c\uc545\uc5d0 \ub300\ud574 \uc9c1\uc811 \uc774\uc57c\uae30\ud558\uae30\ub3c4 \uc27d\uc9c0 \uc54a\ub354\uad70\uc694. \ub2e4\ub4e4 \ub9e4\ub2c8\uc800\uc5d0\uac8c \uc774\uc57c\uae30\ud558\ub77c\uace0 \ud558\uace0. \ub9cc\ub098\uba74 \uc778\uc0ac\uc57c \u2018\ub298\uc5b4\uc9c0\uac8c\u2019 \ud558\uc8e0. \uc0ac\ub78c\uc0ac\ub294 \uac8c \ub2e4 \uadf8\ub807\uc8e0.<\/p>\n
\uc624\ub798 \uc804\ubd80\ud130 <\ub77c\ub514\uc624\uc2dc\ub300>\ub294 \uc81c\uac00 \uc788\uc5b4\uc57c \ud560 \uacf3\uc774 \uc544\ub2cc \uac83 \uac19\ub2e4\ub294 \uc0dd\uac01\uc774\uc5c8\uc5b4\uc694. \ub450 \uc0ac\ub78c\uc774 \uc9c4\ud589\ud558\uba74 \ud558\ub098\ub294 \uc815\uc0c1\uc801\uc774\uace0 \ud558\ub098\ub294 \ubc14\ubcf4\uc9d3\uc744 \ud574\uc57c \uc7ac\ubbf8\uc788\uc8e0. \uadf8\ub7ec\ub2c8 \uc81c\uac00 \uc5b4\ub9bf\uad11\ub300 \ub178\ub987\uc744 \ud574\uc57c\ud588\uc8e0. \uc81c \ubcf8\uc5c5\uc740 \uc74c\uc545\uc778\ub370\u2026<\/p>\n
\uc544\uc8fc \ub0c9\ud639\ud55c \uacf3\uc774\uc8e0, \ubc29\uc1a1\uc0ac\ub294. \uccad\ucde8\uc728\uc774 \uadf8\ub098\ub9c8 \ub192\uac8c \ub098\uc624\ub2c8\uae4c \uc0ac\ub78c\ub4e4\uc774 \uc120\ubc30\ub77c\uace0 \ubd88\ub7ec\uc8fc\uc9c0 \uadf8\ub807\uc9c0 \uc54a\uc73c\uba74 \ub204\uac00 \uac70\ub4e4\ub5a0\ub098 \ubcf4\uaca0\uc5b4\uc694<\/p>\n
\ubcc0\uba85\uc758 \uc5ec\uc9c0\ub3c4 \uc5c6\uc2b5\ub2c8\ub2e4. \uc774\ub300\ub85c \ubb3c\ub7ec\ub098\uaca0\uc2b5\ub2c8\ub2e4. \ub9ce\uc774 \uc695\ud574 \uc8fc\uc2ed\uc2dc\uc624. \ub2ec\uac8c \ubc1b\uaca0\uc2b5\ub2c8\ub2e4.<\/p>\n
\ubc29\uc1a1\ud558\uace0 \uc5bc\ub9c8 \ubc1b\ub290\ub0d0? \ud55c 500\ub9cc\uc6d0 \ubc1b\ub290\ub0d0? \uadf8\uc815\ub3c4 \ubabb \ubc1b\uc9c0?<\/p>\n
\ubc29\uc1a1\uc5d0\uc11c \uc220\uc5d0 \ucde8\ud588\ub2e4\uace0 \ub9d0\ud55c \uac83\uc740 \uc7ac\ubbf8\uc788\uc73c\ub77c\uace0 \ud55c \ub9d0\uc774\uc5c8\ub2e4. \uc220\uc5d0 \ucde8\ud574\uc11c \ubc29\uc1a1\ud558\uc9c0 \uc54a\uc558\ub2e4.<\/p>\n
\ubaa9\ud3ec\uc5d0\uc11c \ubc29\uc1a1\ud558\uba74 \ubc1b\ub294 \ub3c8\uc73c\ub85c \uc0ac\ub294 \ub370 \uc9c0\uc7a5 \uc5c6\ub0d0<\/p>\n
\ubaa9\ud3ec\ub294 \uc5ec\uc790\ub4e4\ub3c4 \uc608\uc058\uace0….. \uc65c \uc608\uc058\ub2e4\ub294 \ub9d0\uc5d0 \ub300\ub2f5\uc744 \uc548 \ud574?<\/p>\n
\ub300\uc2e0 \ud558\uace0\uc2f6\uc740 \uac83\ub3c4, \ud560 \uc218 \uc788\ub294 \uac83\ub3c4 \uc5c6\ub2e4<\/p>\n
\uadf8\ub7fc \uc548 \ub4e4\uc73c\uba74 \ub418\uc9c0<\/p>\n
\uac00\uc2b4\uc774 \ub9ce\uc774 \uc544\ud320\uc5b4\uc694. \ubb34\ub300\uc5d0 \uc11c\ub2c8\uae4c \ube48\uc790\ub9ac\uac00 \uba3c\uc800 \ubcf4\uc774\uace0. \uc0ac\uace0\ub9cc \uc5c6\uc5c8\uc73c\uba74 \ud6e8\uc52c \uc798 \ub410\uc744\ud150\ub370\u2026. \ucd9c\uc5f0\ud574\uc900 \uac00\uc218\ub4e4\uc5d0\uac8c \ub108\ubb34 \ubbf8\uc548\ud588\uc8e0.\u201d<\/p>\n
35\ub144 \ub3d9\uc548 \ubc29\uc1a1\uc744 \ud588\uc9c0\ub9cc \uc0c1\uc2dd\uc5d0 \uc5b4\uae0b\ub09c \ud589\ub3d9\uc744 \ud55c \uc801\uc740 \uc5c6\ub2e4. \uac8c\uc2dc\ud310\uc5d0 \ub72c \uccad\ucde8\uc790\ub4e4\uc758 \uc9c0\uc801\uc5d0 \uc2e0\uacbd\uc4f0\uc9c0 \uc54a\ub294\ub2e4.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\uc5d0\ubc14 \ube0c\ub77c\uc6b4 \ub098\uc5d0\uac8c \uac1c\uac00 \uc788\ub2e4\uba74 \uc678\ub85c\uc6c0\uc744 \ud0c0\uc9c0 \uc54a\uc744\uac83\uc774\ub2e4, \uadf8\ub7ec\ub098 \ub108\ubb34\ub098 \ub9ce\uc740 \uc694\uad6c\ub97c \ud558\ub294\uac70\uac9f\uc9c0? Why doesn’t that Devil take me with him? It would be much better with him than it is here. When he says he loves me, it only means he loves me at that particular instant. Like his promises, which he never keeps. … <\/p>\n