SISTER ACT
Written by
Paul Rudnick
July 19, 1991
Page 1.
SISTER ACT
FADE IN:
INT. ST. ANNE'S ACADEMY - AKRON, OHIO - CLASSROOM
We are in a parochial school classroom, in the late
Sixties. The children all wear uniforms and sit at little
desks. SISTER IMMACULATA stands at the front of the room;
she is a middle-aged nun, very severe. The children are
all terrified of her.
SISTER IMMACULATA
Who can name all the Apostles? Yes?
ANGLE ON CHRISTINE CARTER
A thirteen-year-old girl sitting at a desk. She raises
her hand.
SISTER IMMACULATA
Christine?
CHRISTINE
Sister, may I be excused?
SISTER IMMACULATA
Christine...
CHRISTINE
It's an emergency. Real bad.
Sister Immaculata nods, pursing her lips. Christine
stands and heads for the door.
CUT TO:
INT. GIRLS ROOM
Christine is now in the deserted St. Anne's girls room.
She is standing on tiptoes, looking in the mirror. She has
taken her hair out of its neat barrettes; she is combing it
out. She applies lipstick.
Christine reaches into her schoolbag; she pulls out a
stack of glittery bracelets and slips them on. She
unbuttons the top few buttons of her stiff white blouse.
She sprays herself with dime store cologne.
CUT TO:
EXT. HALLWAY
Christine opens the girls' room door; she looks both ways.
No one is around; she saunters down the hall.
Page 2.
ANGLE ON A DOOR MARKED BROOM CLOSET
Christine opens this door. She looks into the closet.
There is a very nervous thirteen-year-old BOY waiting for
her inside.
CHRISTINE
Hi, Jimmy.
Christine slips inside the closet and closes the door
behind her.
ANGLE ON SISTER IMMACULATA
Striding down the hall, with a bloodthirsty look in her
eye, and a nasty-looking wooden ruler in her hand. She
flings open the broom closet door,
ANGLE ON CHRISTINE AND JIMMY
in the broom closet. Jimmy's face is covered with
lipstick. Christine's hair is awry. The couple has
clearly been making out.
SISTER IMMACULATA
(outraged)
Miss Christine Carter! Again! Don't
you know what happens to girls like you?
Don't you know what they become?
INT. CHRISTY'S APARTMENT - ANGLE ON A LARGE, TATTERED
POSTER-NIGHT (TODAY)
Taped over a crack on a wall. The poster shows a
glittering CHRISTY VAN CARTIER: singing star of a fifth-
rate Vegas lounge. Christy wears tight spangles and a
major wig on the poster. She has clearly lived up, or
down, to all of Sister Immaculata's expectations.
The CAMERA PANS through the dark bedroom in which the
poster hangs; a neon sign flashes outside the window,
casting a red and blue haze over the premises. A dressing
room table is cluttered with dozens of bottles of nail
polish and makeup, and garish clothing and flashy jewelry
are scattered everywhere.
We hear the movement of BED SPRINGS as someone sits up in
the dark.
CHRISTY'S VOICE
Come on, Vince -- hold me a minute.
VINCE'S VOICE
I'd love to. babe -- but I've got to go.
It was great. Like usual.
CHRISTY'S VOICE
It was twenty minutes. Like usual.
Page 3.
VINCE'S VOICE
The best.
VINCE LAROCCA stands at the mirror, adjusting his clothing
and checking his hair. Vince is a powerful, charismatic
man who rules an organized crime empire with personal
magnetism and threat. Vince's hold over Christy is
obvious, if unfortunate; he can seem expansive and generous
one minute, ruthless and dangerous the next.
VINCE
(half to Christy, half
to the mirror)
You are something else.
Christy turns on a lamp and lights a cigarette.
CHRISTY
Come on -- stay. Just a little. We can
talk, I'll get a pizza. Pizza in bed,
we'll have fun. And you still haven't
told me what happened. What did she say?
VINCE
What did who say?
CHRISTY
Who? The other woman. Your wife.
Vince turns to face Christy, turning on the charm.
VINCE
You are so damn sexy.
CHRISTY
Vince...
VINCE
How did I get so lucky? What is it now,
five years we've been together? Who do I
thank?
CHRISTY
(not buying it)
Today was the deadline, Vince.
Vince sits on the bed. He takes Christy's hand, and
kisses it.
VINCE
I want us to be together. Like people.
Honest, decent people. In the eyes of
God. Babe, today... I went to
confession.
CHRISTY
You did what?
Page 4.
VINCE
For the first time in I don't know how
long. I wanted everything done right.
Open and above board. I told Father
Antonelli I was in love. I told him it
was a special love, for all the ages.
CHRISTY
(starting to fall for
it)
You said that? And what did he say?
Did he say you could leave her? Did he
say we'd be happy?
VINCE
(looking deep into her
eyes)
He said that if I got a divorce I'd burn
in Hell. For all eternity.
Vince kisses Christy's hands again and drops turns away
and starts putting on his shoes.
CHRISTY
What?
(outraged)
VINCE
You want me to go against a priest? Get
excommunicated? You think I'm nuts?
CHRISTY
You bastard!
VINCE
(trying to calm her)
We can still see each other. Just like
always. It's a different kind of sin.
Smaller.
CHRISTY
You pig!
Vince backs off, and starts searching for his jacket.
VINCE
Babe, it's not me! I love you! It's
God!
CHRISTY
You lying sleazeball! The best years of
my life! What am I, garbage? Am I lint?
Vince ducks as Christy throws an ashtray at him, and it
smashes against the wall.
VINCE
You're upset. I understand. I should
go. I hate to.
Page 5.
A CLOCK-RADIO hits the wall beside Vince's head.
CHRISTY
Get out of here! And never come back!
A LAMP hits the wall, as Vince dodges it. He makes a
phone gesture with his hand.
VINCE
I'll call.
Vince kisses two fingers, and blows the kiss to Christy.
He leaves.
Christy is left standing on the bed, holding a
particularly garish stuffed animal she was about to hurl.
With Vince gone she slumps to the bed, cradling the stuffed
animal. She is caught between tears and rage.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAS VEGAS - NIGHT
ANGLE on various neon Vegas landmarks -- the Golden
Nugget, Caesar's Palace, Bally's, etc. Scrunched in
between two larger hotels and casinos is the MOONLIGHT
HOTEL AND CASINO. The Moonlight isn't all that small, it's
just seen better days.
INT. LOUNGE - NIGHT
A spotlight hits a solitary figure on a small stage. The
man is caped and dramatic, but not especially talented; an
Elvis impersonator who's just a shade off in voice, looks
and style.
ELVIS
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Are
you lonesome tonight? Welcome to the
Moonlight Hotel and Casino's incredible
Platinum Oldies Spectacular.
Backstage, there's still a look of resolve in Christy's
eye as she waits to go on with MICHELLE and TINA, her back-
up singers.
MICHELLE
But you can't quit. What'll happen to
us?
(to Tina)
Tell her she can't quit.
TINA
I told her. She stuck pantyhose in my
mouth.
Onstage, Elvis glances into the wings to be sure the
Ronelles are ready.
Page 6.
ELVIS
Please welcome our own girl group
extraordinaire, our beehives of beauty --
the fabulous Ronelles!
Elvis disappears. The spotlight hits Christy, who wears a
high beehive wig and a sequinned, early Supremes-style
gown. Michelle and Tina wear matching gowns and wigs. The
band begins a doo-wop vamp.
CHRISTY
Oh, girls.
RONELLES
Yes, Betty?
CHRISTY
This prom is a real drag.
RONELLES
Oh-huh.
CHRISTY
Oh my!
(gasping)
RONELLES
What is it, Betty?
CHRISTY
Look at that. Get a gander.
RONELLES
Oh my!
(sighing)
CHRISTY
He's so dreamy. He's like... a Greek
god. He's the cutest guy here. He's
boss. He's fab. He's...
RONELLES
Yes, Betty?
CHRISTY
(singing)
HE'S SO FINE.
RONELLES
D00-LANG, DOO-LANG, D00-LANG.
CHRISTY
WISH HE WAS MINE. THAT HANDSOME BOY
OVER THERE, THE ONE WITH THE WAVY HAIR.
As they sing, their moves and gestures are carefully
choreographed in vintage girl group style.
Page 7.
A lot of talent and hard work has clearly gone into the
number. While Christy does her best, her singing voice is
not on a par with those of the other Ronelles.
The lounge itself is practically empty, except for a few
drunken Shriners and a couple of college kids. POLICE
LIEUTENANT EDDIE MULCAHY sits at a ringside table with his
eyes locked on Christy. An easygoing charmer, Eddie gives
her a wink, but she responds with an up-yours look and a
turn to the other half of the room as the song continues.
INT. DRESSING ROOM - LATER
A small, cramped room with cracked plaster walls and a
sputtering fan for ventilation. Christy has her own
dressing table and mirror, and the Ronelles share a table a
few feet away. Clothing and costumes hang on nails or are
draped over chairs as the girls change into street wear.
CHRISTY
Screw this dump. It's a roach motel
with sequins. Every guy I meet is either
married, a cop, or a lush from Des
Moines.
MICHELLE
But what about us?
TINA
You taught us the act. The songs, all
the moves.
CHRISTY
And where did it get me? I'm stuck in
this rathole! You're holding me back,
just like Vince! I should be headlining!
A pock-faced weasel of a man named JOEY opens the door and
leans into the room.
CHRISTY
What do you want? This is a private
area! Get lost!
JOEY
You ain't got nothin' I ain't seen.
CHRISTY
Then stop trying to memorize it. Hit
the road.
Joey takes a step into the room and sets a box on the
chair near Christy.
JOEY
From Vince.
Page 8.
CHRISTY
His ashes?
JOEY
With love.
Joey leaves. Michelle and Tina hover around the box, very
excited. They pick it up, trying to tempt Christy.
MICHELLE
From Vince! With love!
TINA
Michelle and Tina can't restrain
themselves: they open the box. Inside is
a rather gaudy fur coat. Michelle and
Tina are impressed.
MICHELLE
It's a fur!
TINA
It's new!
CHRISTY
It's a bribe. Five years of my
goddamned life!
MICHELLE
So you earned it!
TINA
Vince owns the casino! Cash in
CHRISTY
I should throw this in his facet
There's a KNOCK on the door, and Tina opens it.
Lieutenant Eddie Mulcahy enters. Christy is not pleased.
CHRISTY
Oh, Jesus. What is going on here?
(to heaven)
Why me? Whose dog did I kill?
MICHELLE
Hi, Lieutenant.
TINA
Hello, Eddie.
Eddie picks up the coat.
EDDIE
From Vince? What a guy. Doo-lang, doo-
lang.
CHRISTY
At least he's not a cop. At least he
can afford a decent gift.
EDDIE
I used to buy.you,..stuff. On your
birthday . When we were seeing each
other.
CHRISTY
Yeah, like what? Quilted coat hangers,
that your mother picked out? Lottery
tickets? A travel iron?
EDDIE
So I don't shop.
CHRISTY
'Cause you're always out, arresting
people. Making trouble. I don't know
why I went out with you in the first
place, it was embarrassing! I couldn't
hold my head up, I used to tell people
you were a security guard!
EDDIE
Oh, yeah? Well, how do you think I felt?
You were singing in bowling alleys back
then. I told people you were a hooker!
MICHELLE
Calm down, you two. It's always like
this.
EDDIE
Yeah, well, now, she goes out with a'
better class of people. Vince Laflocca.
CHRISTY
He's a businessman.
EDDIE
A what? When are you qonna wake up?
CHRISTY
When are you gonna get off my case?
Have you got a search warrant? What do
you want -- cheap thrills?
EDDIE
Information, baby. I thought maybe
somebody around here might have a
conscience.
CHRISTY
Think again! And get out of here.
Page 10.
EDDIE
I'm going. My regards to Vince, And
the Mrs.
Christy hurls a jar of cold cream at Eddie's head. He
ducks, and the jar hits the door.
EDDIE
Ladies.
Eddie leaves. Christy is standing, absolutely furious.
CHRISTY
That's it! I'm not taking it from him,
and I'm not taking it from Vince! From
now on, it's all about me! And if I
can't spend it, drink it, or sleep with
it -- it's gone. Like Sister Immaculata
used to say, "Life is short, and then you
fry." So long, girls -- see you in
church!
Christy grabs the mink and heads out the door.
INT. VINCE'S OFFICE - NIGHT
ERNIE SCHMIDT sits across the enormous mahogany desk from
Vince. The young man's throat is dry; he's sweating
bullets. The presence of Joey the weasel and WILLY, a
brutal thug, increases Ernie's tension.
VINCE
Ernie Schmidt. How long you been with
us, Ernie Schmidt?
ERNIE
Three years, Mr. LaRocca. One behind
the bar, two as croupier.
Vince gestures to the lush office and its furnishings.
VINCE
Ernie, you know what's important to me?
What counts? It's not all this. This is
'-- what? Frosting. Loyalty. That's me,
Ernie. That's home.
Vince gestures to Joey, who takes out a revolver and
points it at Ernie's head.
VINCE
You ain't been loyal, Ernie. What did
you tell the cops?
Ernie's eyes open wide with denial as the gun comes closer
to his temple.
Page 11.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY
Holding the coat, Christy waits by the elevator. It
arrives; she gets in.
INT. VINCE'S OFFICE
The interrogation continues.
ERNIE
I didn't tell the cops anything. I
swear.
VINCE
Joey?
Joey slams Ernie on the side of the head with the gun.
INT. CORRIDOR
Christy steps out of the elevator and faces a maze of
office cubicles with half-wall partitions. The floor is
deserted and dark as she makes her way through the
cubicles.
INT. VINCE'S OFFICE
Vince is standing over Ernie, holding his head up by the
hair.
VINCE
Who else, Ernie? Who else was in on it?
ERNIE
(moaning)
No one...
VINCE
(dropping Ernie's head
in disgust)
Why am I wasting my time?
INT. EXECUTIVE CORRIDOR
Beyond the cubicles, Christy strides down a lush corridor
to an executive suite. She tries the knob, but finds the
door locked. Pulling a key from her purse, she unlocks the
door to the suite and enters a large outer office with a
reception area and doors to several inner offices. She
tosses the key onto the receptionist's desk.
CHRISTY
Won't need that anymore. Ta-ta.
Crossing to Vince's office, Christy squares her shoulders
and narrows her eyes with anger as she reaches for the
doorknob. She pauses for a second, and then doubles her
resolve.
Page 12.
INT. VINCE'S OFFICE
VINCE
Do it.
(to Joey)
ANGLE on the door to the office, which opens. Christy
appears, with the mink coat in her arms.
CHRISTY
Stuff this up your...
A GUNSHOT is heard, 0.S. Christy's eyes widen, and her
jaw drops, at what she has just witnessed.
ANGLE on the office. Ernie is slumped in the chair, dead.
Joey stands over him, holding the revolver. Joey, Willy
and Vince stare at Christy.
VINCE
Babe.
(icy calm)
Christy tries to speak; she can't.
VINCE
Christy. Is there a problem? With the
coat?
Christy glances around the room; she doesn't move. She
quickly sizes up the situation. She tries to appear
matter-of-fact. unaffected by what she's just seen.
CHRISTY
No... it's fine.
VINCE
Yes?
CHRISTY
Thanks. A lot.
VINCE
Is that why you came up here, Christy?
To thank me?
CHRISTY
Sure.
VINCE
And to say you're sorry. About this
afternoon. And the things you said.
Forgotten. Completely. Do you
understand? Forgotten.
CHRISTY
(catching the subtext)
Right. Yeah. Forgotten.
Page 13.
Vince crosses the room, to Christy. He takes her hands in
his, and kisses them.
VINCE
That's my girl. My girl in mink. Will
you be home? Soon?
Christy kisses Vince, quickly.
CHRISTY
Right. I'll be... at the apartment.
Call me. Thanks. Again.
Christy reaches for the doorknob, without looking at the
door. She fumbles a bit. She finds the door.
CHRISTY
Mink. Wow.
Christy walks backwards, out the door. She turns; she is
gone.
JOEY
Vince -- is she... okay?
VINCE
Maybe.
(considering this)
WILLY
I mean, won't she talk? She seemed kind
of upset.
VINCE
She did.
(making a decision)
Bring her back. Now. For a talk.
JOEY
And if she runs?
VINCE
(icy)
Take care of it.
With guns drawn, Willy and Joey run after Christy.
INT. RECEPTION AREA
Christy, clearly terrified, is walking quickly away from
Vince's office. She passes through a glass door which
leads to the cubicle area.
LONG SHOT of the cubicle area, which resembles a darkened
maze. Christy hears Joey approaching; she runs into the
cubicle area.
JOEY
Christy? He only wants to talk to you!
Page 14.
ANGLE on Christy, crouched behind a half-wall. She is
clutching the coat.
WILLY
Christy?
There is a stuffed toy, a "Garfield the Cat," attached to
the wall near Christy, with suction cups. Christy tries to
pull the cat's feet off the wall, very quietly.
JOEY
Christy?
Christy finally just yanks the cat off the wall. She
hurls it as high and as far as she can, to the opposite end
of the room.
ANGLE on the flying stuffed cat.
Joey sees the blur of the cat; he SHOOTS it, and the cat
explodes.
JOEY
Come on, Christy! There's no place to
go!
Christy steadies herself against a Xerox machine. She
accidentally activates the machine, which lights up and
starts HUMMING.
ANGLE on Willy, as he hears the Xerox machine. He quickly
moves toward the SOUND.
Willy reaches the Xerox machine; the area is deserted. He
starts moving quickly down the aisle A chair, the kind on
casters, comes rolling out of one of the cubicle doorways;
the chair hits Willy and he falls.
Christy runs out of the cubicle; Willy is on the floor,
struggling to get up. As Christy sprints away, Willy
SHOOTS at her. He misses, but a glass partition SHATTERS.
Christy runs for an open elevator, but it has been
summoned from another floor and the doors are beginning to
close. She runs even faster. A BULLET whistles past her
ear and hits the back wall of the elevator. She reaches
for the doors a moment too late, and the elevator is gone.
Christy scrambles to the door beside the elevator and runs
into a stairwell as two more BULLETS bite pieces out of the
door.
INT. STAIRWELL
Taking the stairs three at a time, Christy is flying,
still clutching the mink. The thugs are gaining on her. A
BULLET hits metal and RICOCHETS off several walls and
steps.
Page 15.
At the next landing, Christy opens the door and ducks into
a corridor.
INT. CORRIDOR
Exhausted but powered by adrenaline, Christy sprints past
doors to the end of the hall, still with the mink. Joey
appears from the stairwell just as Christy ducks into a
supply room.
INT. SUPPLY ROOM
Christy shoves a cleaning cart aside and wades through a
pile of dirty linen. Joey opens the door just as Christy
dives head first into the laundry chute.
INT. LAUNDRY CHUTE
Christy, lying atop the mink, flies through the chute like
a subway train through a tunnel.
INT. BASEMENT
The chute spits Christy out like a bullet into a huge bin
of dirty linen. Two workers glance around as they load
large washing machines with laundry. Christy climbs out of
the bin and dashes for a door. Working in a hotel, the
workers have seen everything.
INT. LAUNDRY CHUTE
Joey flies through the chute.
INT. BASEMENT
Joey suddenly flies into the bin. He climbs out with his
gun in sight.
JOEY
Which way?
The workers point to the door, and Joey rushes across the
room. One of the workers is now wearing the mink coat.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Joey comes out of the hotel and finds an empty street. He
looks in every direction, but the nearby streets have
swallowed Christy into safety for the moment.
EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
The central offices of the Las Vegas Police Department.
INT. MULCAHY'S OFFICE
Eddie's office is a glassed-in area set in the middle of
the station's main floor.
Page 16.
Christy is huddled in a chair, surrounded by Eddie and two
other detectives, CLARKSON and TATE.
CHRISTY
Right between the eyes! Down and out!
The guy was gone! I... I couldn't
believe it!
EDDIE
You couldn't believe it? Vince the
Prince?
CHRISTY
I never said he was an altar boy, okay?
But he sent his goons after me! They
tried to kill me! I'm not kidding!
CLARKSON
Tough break. Whoa.
EDDIE
What did you expect? Vince is as dirty
as they come. We've been finding bodies
around here for years.
CHRISTY
I don't know anything about bodies! I
mean, he didn't bring it home. He was
good to me... sometimes. He was sweet.
He took care of me. Who am I supposed to
go out with? He owns a casino. He let
me sing.
EDDIE
He didn't do you a favor.
CHRISTY
Screw you!
TATE
Come on, she'll sing great. When she
sings for us.
CHRISTY
Sing -- like testify? Are you nuts? I
just want you to protect me! You're
cops!
TATE
Busy cops. We don't have time to be
bodyguards for anyone who comes in here
with some cockamamie story. Mink coats
and laundry chutes.
CLARKSON
Unless, of course, you're willing to
testify.
Page 17.
CHRISTY
What is this, some squeeze play? Can't
you just protect me without any strings?
The three detectives move in closer now and really apply
the pressure.
EDDIE
We could put you into our witness
protection program.
TATE
A hiding place.
CLARKSON
A new identity.
EDDIE
But you'd have to agree to testify. The
whole nine yards.
CHRISTY
And if I don't?
EDDIE
Then-you run.
TATE
You wait.
CLARKSON
You listen for the footsteps.
EDDIE
Then one day they find you.
TATE
They open a window.
CLARKSON
It's ten flights up.
TATE
Ten flights down.
CHRISTY
Ten flights?
EDDIE
You'd lose. You'd die. All over the
sidewalk. And into the street.
CHRISTY
All right! I get the picture! I'll do
it! I'll testify!
EDDIE
(to Tate)
Get a stenographer.
Page 18.
Tate leaves. Christy looks to Eddie for a bargain now.
CHRISTY
Okay, here's what I want. I know about
this stuff. A five-star hotel. With
room service.
EDDIE
Maybe Hawaii.
CLARKSON
Diamond Head.
CHRISTY
Yeah. And I'll need a new look. Like a
disguise.
EDDIE
Maybe Armani.
CLARKSON
No -- Calvin Klein.
CHRISTY
For sportswear. And a limo. And my
hair -- up?
CLARKSON
It could work.
EDDIE
Jesus, what do you think this is --
Wheel of Fortune? Let me spell it out
for you. You have to hide like you don't
even exist. You have to get so far
hidden away that you never see sunlight.
CHRISTY
(confused)
Okay -- no limo.
EDDIE
No nothing.
CHRISTY
What're you gonna do, put me in a bag
and bury me?
EDDIE
I'm gonna put you in the last place on
Earth that Vince would ever look for you.
Eddie smiles. Christy doesn't like the sound of this at
all a
Page 19.
INT. STAINED CLASS WINDOW - DAY
Jesus delivers the Sermon on the Mount in vibrant red,
blue and green stained glass. An ORGAN plays a hymn --
badly. Notes are missed, skipped over and mutilated.
PAN DOWN to a procession of nuns who march into a chapel
at the ancient St. Katherine's Convent. The organ isn't
getting any better, and we see it is being played by SISTER
ALMA, a seventy-year-old nun with arthritis and a hearing
aid. Apparently the hearing aid is malfunctioning, because
Sister Alma doesn't seem to realize how badly she's
playing.
As the last nun in the procession enters the chapel, she
closes the door behind her. Across the lobby, the front
door opens and Eddie enters with a very reluctant Christy.
CHRISTY
(to Eddie)
I hate you. I totally hate you.
EDDIE
Safest place in the world. You think
Vince would look for you here?
As Christy looks around the lobby, various religious
artifacts loom at her; we see them from her terrified P0V.
ANGLE on a crucifix, casting an ominous shadow, a stack of
hymnals, and a large, framed Sunday School-style portrait
of St. Katherine. Christy shudders.
CHRISTY
Nuns, Eddie. There are nuns here.
Everywhere. It's crawling with 'em.
EDDIE
It's a convent. All you have to do is
shut up, behave yourself, and get along.
CHRISTY
With nuns? With rulers? No way. I'm
gonna go back, work things out with
Vince.
Christy turns to head back to the entrance, but Eddie
catches her arm.
EDDIE
Vince has put out a contract on you. A
hundred grand. You've seen him in
action.
Christy searches his eyes for a lie, but realizes he's
telling the truth.
CHRISTY
But... but Vince loves me. How could
he... I mean, five years...
Page 20.
EDDIE
And one bullet. That's all it's gonna
take.
CHRISTY
(suddenly scared)
But Vince has contacts all over the
place! This is San Francisco! They'll
be looking for me!
EDDIE
Everywhere but this little hole-in-the-
wall convent. Nobody knows you're here
but me. We're trying to get a quick
court date. A month, maybe two, tops.
I'll spring you as soon as I can.
CHRISTY
(panicking)
I can't stay here! I'll crack up!
Eddie, what am I gonna do?
EDDIE
Pray.
(smiling)
From inside the chapel, the CHOIR begins to sing a hymn --
horribly. The voices don't blend, and individual notes are
real migraine material. Christy looks aghast. Eddie urges
her into a corridor, and she follows.
INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE
The office is bare and austere. MOTHER SUPERIOR sits at
her desk with her hands folded. Like all the nuns at the
convent, she wears the traditional full-length habit and
wimple.
Mother Superior is in total command of all she surveys,
and she seldom raises her voice or her blood pressure as
she rules. Control is her passion; within the walls of the
convent, she has created a world she can trust because it's
a world she controls.
But Mother Superior is not in control at
this particular moment. BISHOP GEORGE
O'HARA stands before her with a majestic
presence and some bad news.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Absolutely not. I am very sorry, but
no.
O'HARA
We can save this young woman's life, and
imprison a parasite -- all in one
gesture.
Page 21.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
But she's been exposed to the underside
of life. She is the underside of life.
O'HARA
And therefore an ideal prospect for
rehabilitation.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
We're a small convent, Bishop. Surely
there are... more appropriate shelters.
O'HARA
Your small convent is in danger of
closing, Reverend Mother. The Las Vegas
Police Department has offered to make a
generous financial donation.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
But, Bishop...
O'HARA
St. Katherine's is a Benedictine Order.
You have taken a Vow of Hospitality. To
all in need.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I lied.
O'HARA
I know.
(smiling)
Mother Superior's jaw locks. She realizes she is stuck
with the situation and will have to control it as best she
can. There is a KNOCK at the door, and Eddie and Christy
enter.
O'HARA
Welcome, Lieutenant. Everything is in
order.
EDDIE
Aces. Bishop -- maybe a cup of coffee,
down at the corner?
The thought of being left alone with Mother Superior
panics Christy, like a child left in the principal's
office.
CHRISTY
Hey, you're not leaving me alone...
O'HARA
(reassuringly)
You're never alone in this house, my
child.
Eddie touches her gently on the arm.
Page 22.
EDDIE
One month, two tops. Behave yourself.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Bishop...
(a last-ditch attempt)
O'HARA
(opening the door to
leave)
Lieutenant?
CUT TO:
EXT. THE CONVENT - A FEW SECONDS LATER
Eddie and Bishop 0'Hara are leaving, by the convent's
front door. As they exit, they hear the CHOIR, singing
horribly. They both wince at the sound, and then chuckle.
INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE
Christy is pacing, outraged at her new situation.
CHRISTY
A convent? They put me in a convent?
What's the problem? Wasn't there any
more room in Hell?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(very calm)
What is your full name? Your Christian
name?
CHRISTY
Mother Theresa. Gandhi. Don't you
understand? This is all a mistake. I'm
the good guy. I'm the witness. And I'm
being punished!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Your name?
CHRISTY
Christy. Christy Van Cartier.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Enough joking.
CHRISTY
That's my real name! Currently I'm a
singer. Sort of.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Very well.
CHRISTY
Oh my God. This isn't happening, tell
me this isn't happening. It's a
nightmare, I'm back at St. Anne's!
Page 23.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
St. Anne's?
CHRISTY
Parochial school. Akron. St.
Android's.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
You were unhappy?
CHRISTY
I was expelled! When I was fifteen?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
The reason?
CHRISTY
Beats me! What do you think? Smoking!
Heavy petting, without a chaperone. Heavy
petting, with the chaperone. And wearing
a black bra, under my uniform. The demon
bra.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I see.
CHRISTY
You see? You see? I have to get out of
here I have to make a phone call.
Don't you get it? I'm in a convent!
You're a nun!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(very stern)
Sit down.
CHRISTY
What?
Mother Superior rises. She is an extremely imposing
woman.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Sit.
Christy sits in a wooden chair across from Mother
Superior.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Miss Van Cartier.
CHRISTY
What?
(belligerent)
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Your cigarette -- out.
Christy inspects her cigarette.
Page 24.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(ruefully)
It has come to pass.
CHRISTY
What?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I joined this convent some thirty years
ago. At that time, the world knew some
measure of peace. And hope. Our order
was a beacon of hospitality, to families,
to children, to a neighborhood filled
with promise. And, as the years have
passed, I have watched that promise
destroyed. Drugs. Gangs.
(staring at Christy's
outfit) Spandex. And.
so I have made this
convent an oasis, a
retreat from horror.
And now that horror has
invaded these sacred
walls.
CHRISTY
Are you talking about me?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
And all those like you.
CHRISTY
You mean black people?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Absolutely not. I mean the wicked. The
heedless. And their Las Vegas
concubines.
CHRISTY
(very suspicious)
What's a concubine?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Check your driver's license.
Christy stands, facing off with Mother Superior.
CHRISTY
Fine. Got it. Look, the way I see it,
I'm stuck here, right? I mean, I'm here
or I'm target practice. So here's the
deal -- I don't bug you, you don't bug
me. I'll catch up on some sleep, watch
some tube, lay back and lay low. So just
get me a key and show me to my room, and
do not disturb. Capisce?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(suspiciously
gracious)
Of course. But it's almost lunch.
Page 25.
CHRISTY
Cool. Is there a menu? Or buffet?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Before we do, you might like to freshen
up. And you'll certainly want to change
CHRISTY
(sniffing her clothes,
the same outfit she's
had on since the night
at Vince's office)
Deal.
INT. CONVENT CHANGING ROOM
A small room, with a sewing machine, some bolts of fabric,
and several wooden cabinets. There is a wooden screen in a
corner, marking a changing area. Christy is behind the
screen; we hear her, but do not see her, Mother Superior
stands beside the screen, catching the various items of
clothing which Christy tosses to her.
CHRISTY (O.S.)
How about a robe? One of those big
terry cloth jobs, with like embroidery on
the pocket. "Guest of St. Katherine's"
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Would you like that?
Mother Superior takes Christy's skirt and blouse, and
tosses them down a chute marked "INCINERATOR."
CHRISTY (O.S.)
You should hand-wash that blouse, and
send somebody out for some things. I
look good in reds, purples, hot pink --
and shoes. Five-inch heels. Fuck-me
pumps. Oh, man -- sorry. 'Scuse my
mouth.
Mother Superior carries Christy's lacy bra at the end of a
ruler; it goes down the incinerator.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Excused. Open the cabinet to your left.
You will find appropriate attire.
CHRISTY (O.S.)
Can do.
INT. CHAPEL
A group of nuns are praying, their heads bowed. They hear
a muffled SCREAM, from elsewhere in the convent. They look
up, puzzled.
Page 26.
INT. CONVENT CHANGING ROOM
Christy is standing before a full-length mirror, staring
at herself, in complete shock. She now wears a habit and
wimple. Mother Superior is doing final adjustments on the
wimple.
CHRISTY
(almost unable to
speak)
No! No! I can't do this!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Normally dressed, you are a sore thumb,
and you endanger us all. While you are
here, you will conduct yourself as a nun.
Only I shall know who, and what, you
truly are. You will not disrupt the
convent. You will not influence the
Sisters with your colorful street talk.
You will draw no attention to yourself in
any way.
CHRISTY
(furious, in
disbelief)
But look at rites Look at this! I'm a
nun! I'm invisible! I'm a penguin!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
As of now, and until you leave, you are
Sister Mary Clarence.
CHRISTY
(outraged)
Mary Clarence? Like a guy? Like a dumb
guy?
INT. CONVENT HALLWAY - A MINUTE LATER
Mother Superior is striding down the hall. Christy is
beside her, trying to get the hang of her new outfit.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
The Mary is in deference to the Holy
Mother, the Clarence in honor of Saint
Clarence Loyola. There are three vows
that every nun must accept. The vow of
poverty...
CHRISTY
(pulling out her
pockets)
No problem.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
The vow of obedience.
CHRISTY
Like to who?
Page 27.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
And the vow of chastity.
CHRISTY
I'm outta here.
Christy starts to leave; Mother Superior grabs her by the
wimple
INT. CONVENT DINING HALL
A large, whitewashed gothic room, with oak beams and a
crude iron chandelier. There is a long, central wooden
table, with rough wooden benches.
The convent's population is standing around the table in
silence. There are about thirty nuns in all.
Mother Superior moves to the head of the table, with
Christy following her. She motions for Christy to stand at
her right.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Good afternoon, Sisters. I apologize
for my tardiness. I would like you to
welcome a new member of our order, Sister
Mary Clarence.
ANGLE on SISTER MARY ROBERT, the nun standing beside
Christy. Sister Mary Robert is naive and mouse- like, but
very sweet. She has only been at the convent a few years;
she wears the simpler habit of a novice. She sneaks a look
at Christy. Her eyes widen, and then she resumes staring
at her hands.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Mary Clarence comes to us from a
somewhat more progressive convent. She
is eager for a more disciplined life, and
will make every effort to conform to our
ways.
Everyone sits, including Christy. SISTER MARY PATRICK, a
nun seated at the middle of the table, waves her hand. Mary
Patrick is extremely cheerful, a truly upbeat person.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Yes, Mary Patrick?
MARY PATRICK
Reverend Mother, on behalf of the
sisters, I'd like to welcome Mary
Clarence to St. Katherine's.
ANGLE on Christy, looking thoroughly disgusted.
Page 28.
MARY PATRICK
As part of our welcome, I've had a
little thought, just for fun. Could we
have our new friend offer today's
blessing?
ANGLE on the nuns, watching Christy.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(reluctantly)
Very well. Mary Clarence, rise please.
Christy stands up slowly, aghast.
CHRISTY
A blessing? Like, for lunch?
ANGLE on Mary Patrick, beaming. She and the other nuns
bow their heads.
CHRISTY
(trying to recall a
blessing)
For what we are about to receive...
So far, so good. Mother Superior has one eye open.
CHRISTY
may the Lord... prepare us and... watch
us and... walk through the valley and be
our shepherd and... to the republic for
which it stands... God bless us every
one, hallowed be thy name. Hallelujah.
Ave Maria. Boyardee. Amen.
ANGLE on the nuns, staring at Christy. Mother Superior
rises, very quickly.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Sisters, for the rest of the day we
shall declare a Vow of Silence.
CHRISTY
A what?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Surely you are familiar with this
practice, Mary Clarence. Only when our
lips are silent, can our prayers truly be
heard.
CHRISTY
Silence? No talking? All day?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Until sundown.
Page 29.
CHRISTY
(mouthing the words.
without speaking aloud)
Oh my God.
Christy reaches for a piece of bread.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
And Mary Clarence?
Christy looks up.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
As a new member of our order, I think
you might also enjoy a ritual fast.
CHRISTY
(mouthing the words)
A what?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
A fast. To remind us of the poor, of
those who must endure without enough to
eat.
CHRISTY
(mouthing)
No food?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(taking away Christy's
plate)
No food. Not until sundown.
ANGLE on Christy, clutching her fork, hungrily watching
the other nuns eat.
EXT. POLICE STATION - DAY
Vince leaves the police station with his henchmen, Joey
and Willy, and LARRY NARREN, an attorney. Vince is
steaming as they walk through the parking lot.
VINCE
They grilled me for six hours in there.
And my hotshot lawyer -- where the hell
were you?
LARRY
It takes time, Vince. Slow and steady.
We've been through this before.
Vince reaches his car. As Joey opens the door for him,
another car drives by, and stops. Eddie is driving; he
leans out the window.
EDDIE
So long, Vince. See you soon.
Page 30.
Vince lurches toward Eddie; Larry restrains him. Eddie
drives off, chuckling.
VINCE
He's so damn cocky. This is different.
JOEY
It's a bluff, Vince.
VINCE
You know so much. They've got Christy,
and we've got to find her. Get her 8x10,
from in front of the lounge. Fax it to
every contact we got.
Larry covers his ears with both hands.
LARRY
I can't hear this. I'm an attorney,
Vince, and you're just an honest casino
owner. Object of a witch hunt. Innocent
victim.
VINCE
Keep the message vague, but let 'em
know. The price has gone up. Christy
Van Cartier -- a quarter of a million.
Dead or nearby.
Vince looks grim and vindictive, as he gets into the car.
EXT. CONVENT VEGETABLE GARDEN - DAY
The vegetable patch is located behind the convent, on a
patch of land surrounded by high walls. Various sections
have been partitioned with string and then furrowed.
Several nuns are working in the patch, weeding and raking.
They wear large, ungainly straw hats over their wimples.
Christy has been given a hoe and a straw hat. She is
hacking at the dirt, with great disinterest. She picks up
a carrot from the vegetable patch; she looks around to see
if anyone is watching. She starts to gnaw on the carrot.
She becomes aware that someone is watching her. She looks
up.
Sister Mary Robert is watching Christy eat the carrot,
breaking her fast. Christy drops the carrot on the ground,
as if it burned her. Mary Robert resumes hoeing in the
next furrow over.
Christy stares at Mary Robert, narrowing her eyes.
Christy looks around; all the other nuns are busy at their
tasks. Christy decides that she will try and make Sister
Mary Robert talk. She picks up the carrot and tosses it
at Mary Robert. Mary Robert jumps. She waggles a finger
at Christy, scolding her. Mary Robert resumes hoeing.
Page 31.
Christy is now determined. She takes her hoe, and tiptoes
nearer to Mary Robert. Very gently, she uses the handle of
the floe to lift Mary Robert's skirt, and gooses her.
Mary Robert vips, very loudly. All the other nuns turn
and stare at Mary Robert, scolding her. Christy waggles
her finger at Mary Robert, scolding her.
Christy, giggling to herself, resumes hoeing. She sees
Mother Superior, standing at the end of the furrow. Mother
Superior looks extremely grim; she has not missed anything.
EXT. SUNSET - THAT NIGHT
LONG SHOT of the sun going down, ending the nuns' Vow of
Silence.
We hear Christy SCREAM, O.S.
INT. CONVENT HALLWAY - THAT NIGHT
This hallway is marked by a series of heavy wooden doors
with tiny, grilled windows. These are the cells where the
nuns sleep. Nuns are entering their cells and closing
their doors for the night.
Mother Superior glides down the hall, followed by a dusty,
bedraggled Christy. Christy is devouring a slice of brown
bread.
CHRISTY
Is this all the food I get?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Yes. Until breakfast.
CHRISTY
That's tomorrow! Don't you have any
snacks? Machines?
They stop by a door.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
This shall be your cell, Mary Clarence.
CHRISTY
My what?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Your cell. Your room.
INT. CHRISTY'S CELL
The door swings open, and Mother Superior and Christy
enter. The room is tiny, with bare plaster walls. There
is a narrow wooden bed, with a thin muslin-covered
mattress. There is a small nightstand and a wooden stool.
Page 32.
CHRISTY
(looking around)
You were right the first time. Is this
like, solitary? The cooler? Where's the
furniture?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Our lives are simple. We have little
need for material possessions.
CHRISTY
Right, sure thing. But what about,
like, appliances? Like a little color
portable? Boom box?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Useless distractions.
CHRISTY
(sinking to the bed)
It's like the Stone Age. The room time
forgot. What about a phone?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
And whom would you call?
CHRISTY
Oh, I don't know... Satan?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(not amused)
Your cell is more than adequate.
CHRISTY
Right. So what do we do now? Ping-
Pong? Row over to the monastery?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
It is nine p.m. Pleasant dreams.
CHRISTY
Wait. No. You're kidding. Lights out?
At nine? My day's just starting.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I'm sure. If I were you, I would use
this time, to think about my life. And
its direction. Or lack thereof.
CHRISTY
(indignant)
What's wrong with my life?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
From all I've heard, just about
everything. Your singing career seems
all but nonexistent, and your married
lover wants you dead.
(MORE)
Page 33
MOTHER SUPERIOR (CONT'D)
If you're fooling anyone, it's only
yourself. God has brought you here. Take
the hint.
Mother Superior leaves.
After the door shuts, Christy stands and looks out the one
small window in her cell. She leans her head against the
wall. She is trying not to think about what Mother
Superior has said. Still, the mess her life has become
overwhelms her. She fights back tears.
EXT. CONVENT - DAY
The sun is just barely rising, as the convent BELL tolls.
INT. CHRISTY'S CELL
Christy is fast asleep. There is a RAPPING at the door.
MARY ROBERT (0.S.)
Sister Mary Clarence!
EXT. CONVENT HALLWAY
All the nuns are proceeding, in their simple robes and
nightshirts, down the hallway.
Christy's door opens; she is still in her nightshirt, and
her hair is a mess.
CHRISTY
What?
Mary Robert, in her nightshirt, stands outside.
MARY ROBERT
Come on, we're late.
CHRISTY
What? What time is it?
MARY ROBERT
It's after five. We have to bathe.
CHRISTY
(groaning)
Five a.m.?
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE BATHING ROOM - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Christy is standing on line in the hall, along with
several other nuns; they are waiting to take showers. They
carry soap and towels.
Page 34.
MARY PATRICK
(sincerely)
Isn't it a glorious morning? Good
morning, Mary Clarence. sleep well?
CHRISTY
Right.
MARY ROBERT
Is this like your old convent?
MARY PATRICK
Which convent was that, Sister?
CHRISTY
Which convent? It was, um, the Little
Sisters... of the Moonlight. In Vegas.
Everybody used to come to Mass. Frank.
Dean. Sammy. Right at ringside.
MARY LAZARUS
Enough jabber.
MARY LAZARUS is a much older nun; she is very no-nonsense,
a hard-liner.
CHRISTY
What?
MARY LAZARUS
Progressive convents. Vanity. It
sounds awful. It sounds just like this
place.
CHRISTY
Like this place?
MARY LAZARUS
I like my old convent, in Vancouver. Out
in the woods. It wasn't all modern, like
here. No electricity. Cold water. Bare
feet. Those were nuns. It was Hell on
earth, but I loved it. This place is a
Hilton.
INT. BATHING ROOM
A stone room that is very medieval-looking. One wall is
divided into stalls by wooden partitions. In each stall is
a nun, standing beneath a crude shower head that releases a
thin stream of lukewarm water. We see only the nuns' heads
and shoulders.
Still sleepy, Christy leans against the wall of her stall,
her eyes closed. Lost in thought, she begins singing
softly to herself.
Page 35.
CHRISTY
MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE IN TROUBLE
A FEW OTHER NUNS
(very softly)
HEY-LA, HEY-LA
Christy looks up from her reverie; she looks around. The
other nuns are bathing, their eyes down. There is no sign
of singing. Christy decides to try a test.
CHRISTY
MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK
HE'S GONNA SAVE MY REPUTATION
A FEW OF THE NUNS
(still very softly)
HEY-LA, HEY-LA
CHRISTY
IF I WERE YOU,
I'D TAKE A PERMANENT VACATION
A FEW OF THE NUNS
HEY-LA, HEY-LA
MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK
The nuns giggle.
CHRISTY
Where did that come from?
MARY PATRICK
I haven't heard that song in ages. The
Ronettes?
MARY LAZARUS
(very grouchy)
Shirelles.
CHRISTY
You know that song?
MARY PATRICK
1961? '62? Mary Clarence, that's when
many of us took final vows. It's the
last secular music we recall.
CHRISTY
No.
HEY -- HE KNOWS THAT YOU BEEN CREATING
NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET A BEATING
ALL THE NUNS
HEY-LA, HEY LA
Page 36.
MARY LAZARUS
(cutting off the song)
That's enough. We've got to get to
chapel.
Mary Lazarus leaves the bathing room, and the other nuns
resume scrubbing themselves. Christy looks around.
CHRISTY
Anybody got conditioner?
INT. CHAPEL - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Bishop O'Hara is leading the Sunday mass. He stands in
the pulpit. The choir nuns stand in a fenced-in area to
his left. The remaining nuns, including Christy and Mother
Superior, sit in the first few pews.
O'HARA
We are a small congregation this
morning. Too many mornings. Something
has gone terribly wrong. Where is
faith? Where is celebration? Where is
everyone? Still, rather than regret the
absence of our neighbors, let us rejoice
in the fellowship of those present. Our
choirmistress, Sister Mary Lazarus, has
informed me that our choir, while always
superior, has been toiling especially
hard on this week's selection. Sister?
Mary Lazarus raises her hand, and the choir begins
singing. They sing a traditional hymn, "Let Thy Thoughts Be
Guided." As always, their singing is dreadful; they have no
tempo or pitch, and the hymn becomes an off-key drone.
As the hymn continues, the CAMERA PANS OVER the chapel.
Aside from the nuns, it is almost empty; only a few elderly
people are in attendance.
ANGLE ON CHRISTY
sitting with the other nuns. She is clearly about to fall
asleep. Then the choir hits a particularly horrendous
note, and Christy jerks awake. She immediately tries to
assume a pious expression, tilting her head and folding her
hands in prayer; she looks like a somewhat demented Sunday
School calendar.
EXT. LAS VEGAS POLICE DEPARTMENT
Detective Clarkson gets out of his car and hurries into
the police station.
INT. POLICE STATION
Clarkson crosses the busy room to Eddie's glass-walled
office. Along the way, he signals Detective Tate to follow
him.
Page 37.
INT. MULCAHY'S OFFICE
Eddie looks up from his desk as the two detectives enter.
CLARKSON
There was a raid on a pawnshop in L.A.
this morning. The place was fencing
stolen property. They found this.
Clarkson gives Eddie a fax sheet, showing a publicity
photograph of Christy.
EDDIE
Jesus. Data-base hoods. It's a
wonderful world.
(reading the fax
sheet)
Beloved daughter missing. Reward of two
hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Please find our adored angel, we miss her
so. Dead or alive.
TATE
Vince is getting desperate. Where is
she, Eddie? Where'd you stash her?
EDDIE
Where's who?
TATE
You won't even tell us?
EDDIE
I wouldn't even tell the Pope.
INT. CONVENT SCHOOLROOM - AN HOUR LATER
A plain whitewashed classroom, with battered student-style
desks. A group of about eight local TEENAGE GIRLS has
gathered. The girls wear extremes of hair, makeup and
clothing; they are bored and scruffy, clearly the local bad
Girls. Sister Mary Patrick is leading the class, in her
usual perky manner.
MARY PATRICK
Good afternoon, young ladies. And
welcome to our Christian Youth Group.
The Girls make grunting noises.
MARY PATRICK
Hi. I hope we'll have some fun, and
maybe learn a little something, too. Now,
today's topic is something very up-to-
date -- "Teenage Promiscuity." My. Now,
can anyone tell me -- just what is
promiscuity?
ANGLE on the Girls, exchanging glances and rolling their
eyes.
Page 38
MARY PATRICK
Anyone? Yes?
Mary Patrick points to a Girl in bicycle pants. a bustier
and a leather baseball cap. Her name is Lawanda.
LAWANDA
Uh, it's like, you know, doin' it. A
whole lot. Till your head falls off.
MARY PATRICK
(blushing)
Well, yes. That is one way to put it.
Mother Superior enters the classroom accompanied by
Christy
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Sister Mary Patrick?
MARY PATRICK
Yes?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I need to see you, at once. Girls,
please excuse Sister Mary Patrick for a
few moments. Mary Clarence?
CHRISTY
Yeah?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Girls, this is Sister Mary Clarence.
She'll be minding you until Sister Mary
Patrick's return. Mary Clarence, please
assign a biblical passage. Do not
attempt discussion. Am I understood?
CHRISTY
I got it.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(to Mary Patrick)
Come, Sister.
Mother Superior and Mary Patrick leave the classroom.
Christy now stands at the front of the room. She is
visibly uncomfortable.
CHRISTY
So, hi there. I'm... Sister Mary
Clarence. And you're... young
Christians. I guess I should assign you
this passage. What's good? What were
you talking about?
LAWANDA
We were talking about the wild thing.
Teen promiscuity.
Page 39
CHRISTY
(after a beat)
Really.
CHARLENE
Yeah. Sister Mary Pat was discussing
it. You know she thinks it's a sin.
CHRISTY
(trying to behave)
Well... yes. Yes it is.
LAWANDA
(goading Christy)
How come? Sister?
CHRISTY
(still trying to
behave)
Well... because it's in the Bible. "Thou
shalt not..." Thou shalt not.
The Girls all laugh and make jeering noises.
CHRISTY
Excuse me -- just what are you all doing
here? At Sunday School?
LAWANDA
'Cause we love it so damn much. And
cause we gotta come here. Probation.
CHRISTY
Probation?
CHARLENE
Yeah. We all got caught. Shoplifting.
Cuttin' school. Cuttin' up some bitch
with a blade. So we gotta come here. So
we'll be good, in the future. So we'll
learn valuable lessons. And I learned
mine. I will be incredibly good, I will
never rip out nobody's nose-ring by
accident ever again. Can I go now?
CHRISTY
(getting fed up)
Yeah, you learned a whole lot, I can
tell.
LAWANDA
Well, what would you know about it,
anyway? What do any of you nunheads know
about anything? About doin' the nasty,
or gettin' high?
CONCHITA
Leave her alone, Lawanda, she's just
some ol' nun! Don't pick on no nun, it's
bad luck!
Page 40.
CHRISTY
(fed up)
Shut up!
All the Girls look up, stunned by Christy's language.
CHRISTY
Okay, so maybe I'm a nun -- so, you want
to ask me something? You want to listen,
for once in your little lives? You want
to pay some attention?
CHARLENE
What about crack? You a user?
CHRISTY
I said I was a nun, not an asshole.
All the girls jeer at Charlene.
KESHIA
Got you, Charlene!
CONCHITA
Dunked by the nun!
LAWANDA
(more sincerely)
Well, what about the sex stuff? What if
some dude is after you, and he's always
saying stuff, commin' on sweet and
mellow. Like, oh, baby, you know you'll
love it. Oh, baby, if you loved me,
you'd stay.
CHRISTY
And you listen to that?
LAWANDA
No, but... I don't know... sometimes.
CHRISTY
Hey, I know, it's hard. But do what I
do.
LAWANDA
(puzzled)
What you do?
CHRISTY
Just tell him, I do love you, but I
can't -- I'm a nun.
The girls all laugh; they are really beginning to like
Christy.
Page 41.
CHARLENE
But, like what if you are doin' it? What
about protection? Who's responsible?
CONCHITA
What about them things, you know, for
the guy? Aren't they like, a mess to put
on? Don't they kinda mess up the mood?
CHRISTY
Deal with it, sweet thing. It's
important, nowadays. You just practice
at home, with a balloon and a banana.
MOTHER SUPERIOR (0.S.)
Mary Clarence!
Mother Superior has returned, with Mary Patrick. Everyone
has been so wrapped up in the discussion, that no one has
noticed their entrance.
CHRISTY
(thinking on her feet)
Because a banana is part of a balanced
breakfast. And don't forget fiber.
INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE - LATER THAT DAY
Mother Superior is seated behind her desk; she is very
angry. Christy sits across from her.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
A balloon and a banana! Tell me, Mary
Clarence, what were you thinking?
CHRISTY
Those girls were asking questions.
They've got it rough. I wish somebody
had talked to me about that stuff when
was their age. I wish somebody would
talk to me about it now.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
This is a convent, not a clinic. We
offer moral guidance, not hardware.
CHRISTY
Have you been out in those streets? Do
you know what those kids are up against?
You should help them!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
We are nuns. We seek solutions through
prayer.
Page 42.
CHRISTY
Sometimes it's not enough!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
You are correct. Sometimes prayer alone
cannot help a situation. Such as your
own, for example. How do you feel about
physical labor?
CHRISTY
It never solves anything.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Do your recall the words of Saint Peter,
in Ecciesiastes 1:27? He spoke unto a
wastrel youth. He said, "Take up thy
task, and know ye the path of
contentment."
CHRISTY
In English?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
How to put it... ah, Of course, Mary
Clarence. "No pain, no gain."
Mother Superior smiles in a rather evil manner.
INT. VINCE'S OFFICE - DAY
Vince is on the telephone in his office at the Moonlight
Hotel and Casino. He clearly has a new mistress or two.
VINCE
(very seductive)
Baby, you know I do... of course... I
feel it too... I'm blushing... can you
hold?
A second telephone RINGS, and Willy answers it. Vince
meanwhile has pushed a button on his phone and is involved
in a second romantic call.
VINCE
Soon, you gorgeous thing... tell me...
how lonely?
WILLY
It's that call you were expecting,
Vince.
VINCE
Can you hold? Can you try?
Willy passes the phone to Vince. t
Page 43
VINCE
Have you found out where Christy is yet?
Hey, bozo, you re on my payroll! You want
to try making it on a cop's salary? Find
her, and find her now!
Vince passes the phone back to Willy.
VINCE
Raise the ante to three hundred grand.
Willy heads for the fax machine. Vince regains his
composure, and picks up his own phone; he pushes a button.
VINCE
Sorry, baby... you are? Totally? Not a
stitch?... Yeah, I'm naked too...
inside...
INT. CONVENT CRAFTS ROOM
This is a large, open room where the nuns create various
gift items which the convent sells to support itself.
Several nuns sit at a table, diligently hand-painting
Christmas cards and making Christmas tree ornaments.
On the other side of the room is a large, free-standing
loom, which resembles a grand piano. The loom is wooden; a
tapestry is half-completed. Mary Patrick is seated at the
loom, which is a complicated mechanism. Christy stands
beside her.
MARY PATRICK
The minute I saw you. I said to myself,
she's a weaver. Have you ever used a
loom?
CHRISTY
Not in years.
MARY PATRICK
Well, it all comes back, in just a
jiffy. I'm working on a wall-hanging, of
the convent.
CHRISTY
Why?
MARY PATRICK
To sell, of course. I hate to say it,
but we're in terrible trouble here at St.
Katherine's. We need a new roof, the
furnace is going, and there's no money.
CHRISTY
But don't you get money? From the
Vatican?
Page 44.
MARY PATRICK
Mary Clarence. Goose. We're completely
self-supporting. Like all convents. Like
yours.
CHRISTY
Oh, right. At my old place, we used
to... wash cars. Groom dogs. So... nice
loom.
MARY PATRICK
Isn't it lovely? Now I'll demonstrate,
and then you can hop right in.
(as she deftly works
the loom)
You just draw your beater in, keep it
pressed against the pick, and open the
shed. Then pass your shuttle, beat, and
open the next shed. Shuttle. beat, beat,
shuttle, beat, shed. Keep tension on the
warp. Is that clear?
CHRISTY
(pretending to be
fascinated)
Just about. Show me again.
MARY PATRICK
You betcha.
CRAFTS ROOM - AN HOUR LATER
ANGLE on the wall hanging, which has progressed
considerably.
ANGLE on Christy, leaning against the wall, thumbing
through a magazine.
ANGLE on Mary Patrick, hard at work at the loom.
MARY PATRICK
Shuttle, beat, shed. And watch your
heddles.
CHRISTY
I love my heddles. Show me again.
Mother Superior appears.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Mary Clarence -- how is your weaving
progressing?
MARY PATRICK
Oh, she's doing just fine, Reverend
Mother -
Page 45.
CHRISTY
Really catching on.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Good. Mary Patrick, I need you in the
office. Mary Clarence, carry on.
Mother Superior gestures to the loom. Christy sits at the
loom, and waves as Mother Superior and Mary Patrick exit.
Christy stares at the loom; a look of horror crosses her
face. She has not been paying attention to Mary Patrick's
instructions. She cracks her knuckles, as if she were
about to play the piano. She grabs two parts of the loom,
at random. She moves these parts.
ANGLE on the loom. As a result of Christy's movements,
the loom collapses, piece by piece. The tapestry unravels,
the many skeins of wool snap, and the mechanical apparatus
disintegrates, until finally the entire loom shudders and
falls to the floor, as Christy watches, aghast.
INT. CORRIDOR
Mother Superior is striding down the hall; she is livid.
Christy trails behind her, trying to keep up.
CHRISTY
I'm sorry, I'm not a weaver!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Months of work, and the loom, absolutely
ruined!
CHRISTY
Look, this isn't my kind of thing! I
wasn't cut out to make little tapestries,
or knit little sweaters! I don't do that!
I'm a star!
Mother Superior stops dead in her tracks; she turns and
stares at Christy. Then she smiles, in a rather
frightening manner.
MONTAGE - CHRISTY
A)on her hands and knees. scrubbing the stone floor of a
convent hallway.
B)crawling along between the pews in the chapel, oiling
every inch of wood with a bottle of polish and a rag.
C)crawling along the convent roof, cleaning out gutters
with a trowel. She discovers a dead rat in one of the
gutters.
Page 46
D)sewing; she is repairing a hole in a habit. The CAMERA
PULLS BACK. Christy is sitting in a small stone room,
surrounded by piles of torn habits, linen and other
mending.
INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE
Christy is on the phone in the darkened office. She keeps
checking the door, to make sure no one is listening.
CHRISTY
(into phone)
Let me talk to Detective Eddie Mulcahy.
It's an emergency. Real bad.
EDDIE'S VOICE
Mulcahy.
Christy cups her hand around the phone and speaks quietly
and frantically. INTERCUT between Christy and Eddie.
CHRISTY
Eddie, you've got to get me out of here.
EDDIE
Not again. You can't keep calling.
Somebody's going to catch on to where you
are.
CHRISTY
But I'm going insane! All these people
do is pray and work, work and pray! I
don't get it -- when's the weekend? They
have gruel, Eddie, that's what they call
food! Gruel -- it's like Alpo for nuns!
I sleep in a cell, on a board, and I pray
five times a days Do you know what I
pray for, Eddie, do you have any idea?
Check your crotch, Eddie --anything fall
off yet? Get me outta her!
EDDIE
Calm down. Look, I didn't want to tell
you this, but we've had some problems
with our protection program lately.
CHRISTY
Like what?
EDDIE
Keeping our witnesses alive. We hide
them, but there's a leak in the
department, and they end up dead.
CHRISTY
You son-of-a-bitch!
Page 47
EDDIE
I just need a few more weeks,
CHRISTY
But it's a nightmare! Mother Superior
is out to get me! She hates my guts! She
keeps thinking up new kinds of torture!
In the distance, Christy hears the CHOIR practicing; they
sound even worse than usual.
CHRISTY
(holding the phone
out)
Do you hear that? That choir? Eddie,
in here, that's what they call music!
EDDIE
Don't call again. It's not safe. I'll
be in touch.
As the line goes dead, Mother Superior enters. Christy
takes her dust rag and pretends to polish the receiver. She
sings as she works.
CHRISTY
THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF
MUSIC...
Still singing, Christy breezes out of the room. Mother
Superior looks mystified.
INT. CHRISTY'S CELL - MIDNIGHT
Christy is lying flat out on her bed, in her habit,
utterly exhausted by the week's hard labor. There is a
meek SCRATCHING at her door.
CHRISTY
(without moving)
Yeah?
Sister Mary Robert enters, very shyly. She barely looks
up.
CHRISTY
What? What does she want now? I did
the dishes. I oiled the pews. I dusted
the hymnals. Two hundred hymnals. Why
can't people share?
MARY ROBERT
(not speaking above a
whisper)
I... I...
Page 48.
CHRISTY
What?
MARY ROBERT
I... I brought you something.
CHRISTY
A cigarette?
MARY ROBERT
An extra heel of bread. Please take it,
you need your strength. You've been
working so hard.
Mary Robert holds out a rather rugged crust of brown
bread. Christy takes it..
CHRISTY
Thanks. So which one are you? Sister
Bruce? Sister Doug?
MARY ROBERT
(until almost
whispering)
Mary Robert. I'm... Mary Robert.
CHRISTY
Right. Okay. Bob. Nice to know you.
Mary Robert nods, and resumes looking at her hands. She
doesn't 1eave, but she's still tongue-tied. Christy is at a
loss.
CHRISTY
So, Bob, how long have you been in? St.
K's?
MARY ROBERT
Three years. Sister.
CHRISTY
Three years. A rookie.
MARY ROBERT
A novice.
CHRISTY
Yeah, like a learner's permit, right?
When do you hit the big time? You know,
when do you take the final vows?
Mary Robert bursts into tears.
CHRISTY
Whoa! Bob! What's going on here?
What'd I say?
Page 49.
MARY ROBERT
(still sobbing)
You have to help me
CHRISTY
Right, sure, but what's the problem? Are
they keeping you a prisoner here? Do they
drug you? Did Reverend Mother like,
kidnap your parents? We can call the
Enquirer.
MARY ROBERT
No, you don't understand -- I don't want
to get out! I want to get in?
CHRISTY
Excuse me?
MARY ROBERT
Oh. Mary Clarence, I'm so unworthy. I
want to take my final vows, I would do it
tomorrow, but Reverend Mother won't let
me!
CHRISTY
She won't? Why not?
MARY ROBERT
She says I should wait. She says that
no one should become a nun as an escape
from life. She says that I'm not
experienced enough to make the decision
yet. In a mature manner.
CHRISTY
She said that? Reverend Mother?
Mary Robert nods, solemnly. Suddenly, from the streets
outside the convent, we hear a BLAST OF hot dance MUSIC,
and the SOUND of laughter and carefree conversation.
CHRISTY
Well, then there's only one thing to do.
MARY ROBERT
What?
CHRISTY
Reverend Mother says you need
experience, right, in life. In order to
make a responsible decision. This is
going to be very painful for me. You
know how much I love this little room.
This whole convent. Wait.
Christy stands, and goes to the crucifix hanging on the
wall. She speaks to the crucifix, and listens, as if Jesus
is advising her.
Page 50.
CHRISTY
(to Jesus)
Must I do this thing, 0 Lord? Please
help me.,. yes, I know... I must put my
selfish cares aside... I must think of
others... yes, she's here...
(she gestures to Mary
Robert)
He says hi... yes, I understand... let
thy will be done. Amen. You too.
Christy turns to Mary Robert, having received a holy
message.
CHRISTY
We must do this sacred thing, Mary
Robert.
MARY ROBERT
(desperate)
Of course! We must do it! It's the
will of God! What is it?
CHRISTY
(shutting her eyes,
for the full spiritual
effect)
We must... get you some experience. We
must... leave this place.
MARY ROBERT
Are you sure?
Another BLAST OF MUSIC from the street. Christy turns to
the crucifix. She gets confirmation.
CHRISTY
(to Jesus)
We hear you.
EXT. STREET
The outer wall of the convent. A door swings open, and
Christy sticks her head out. She looks both ways, and
steps outside. She beckons to Mary Robert, who appears
from behind her. Mary Robert looks very wary. Christy
pulls her along.
EXT. A STREET NEARBY
Christy and Mary Robert walk along a street a few blocks
from the convent.
MARY ROBERT
(looking around
cautiously)
Are you sure this is what Reverend
Mother had in mind?
Page 51.
CHRISTY
I know it is. It's life. Experience.
Take a deep breath.
Christy breathes deep, and then lets out a whoop. She
spins, letting her habit billow around her.
MARY ROBERT
(shocked)
Mary Clarence!
CHRISTY
Now you.
Mary Robert's eyes widen. She points to herself -- "Me?"
Christy nods. Mary Robert lets out a tiny little whoop,
and does a little, timid hop.
CHRISTY
It's a start.
EXT. SOCIAL CLUB
A neighborhood hang-out, the windows bright with neon beer
signs. The exterior is colorfully painted; the club all
but explodes with good times. A group of teenagers lounge
on the steps, sipping beers and smoking. Among the
teenagers are the girls from Christy's Christian Youth
group. Christy and Mary Robert approach, and the group
falls silent.
CHRISTY
How are you doing.
LAWANDA
(puzzled)
Hey, Sisters. Are you going in there?
CHRISTY
You know it.
MARY ROBERT
We need experience.
CHRISTY
(remembering she's a
nun)
It's part of St. Katherine's new
community outreach program. How old are
you? You shouldn't be smoking. Have you
ever seen a diseased lung? Hand 'em
over.
Lawanda reluctantly hands over her cigarettes. Christy
turns to a TEENAGE BOY who's drinking beer.
Page 52.
CHRISTY
And you, with the devil's brew passing
through your lips.
(holding out her hand)
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
The boy hands over the beer. Christy and Mary Robert
enter the club.
INT. SOCIAL CLUB
Christy enters the club and grins. She takes a drag on
the cigarette. Mary Robert grabs the beer from Christy's
hand, and takes a swig.
CHRISTY
(shocked)
Bobs
MARY ROBERT
Experience! Right?
CHRISTY
Right.
The club is alive with activity; the bar is crowded,
couples are making out at small tables, and the dance floor
is packed. The atmosphere is a combination of hazy
darkness and colored lights; the club should have the
feeling of a hot neighborhood party, with people of all
ages and races. The MUSIC percolates, and Christy starts
to move to it. She and Mary Robert find a table in the
corner, and signal a nearby waitress.
CHRISTY
A couple of bowls of chili.
(holding up the beer)
And another round of these.
The waitress looks at the two women strangely; the club
has never hosted nuns before.
MARY ROBERT
(to the waitress,
confidentially)
I have to do this. So I can become a
nun.
CHRISTY
(to the waitress)
Initiation. You understand. Later on,
we make her wear her underwear on her
head.
MARY ROBERT
Really?
Page 53
CHRISTY
(to the waitress)
And she wants to be a nun.
The waitress leaves, shaking her head. Christy and Mary
Robert watch the action at the club.
Across the room, MIKE the bartender stares at the nuns,
especially Christy; he tries to place her.
MARY ROBERT
Who are all these people?
CHRISTY
This is your neighborhood. Your turf.
You should get to know 'em.
From across the room, Mike the bartender continues to
study Christy's face. He takes out a copy of Vince's fax
photo and stares at it. He covers Christy's hair in the
photo with his hands, creating a wimple. There is no
question in his mind; the two are the same. Mike has a
dangerous look in his eyes as he takes a gun from the
drawer and slips it into his pocket beneath his apron.
There is a LIVE BAND on a small stage at one end of the
club. They start playing a hot dance number, and the club
really begins to cook, as the dance floor fills. Christy
and Mary Robert, both still seated, start to move with the
music.
A very good-looking LOCAL DUDE comes over to the nuns
table. He is clearly amused at their presence.
DUDE
Hey, Sisters -- how you doin'?
CHRISTY
(flirting)
Better now.
DUDE
How come they let you out? Out of that
convent place?
CHRISTY
Time off. For bad behavior.
DUDE
Oww! A nun havin' fun! I don't believe
it! It's good to have you ladies in this
fine establishment. So... anybody on the
move?
MARY ROBERT
(standing up)
I am.
Page 54.
CHRISTY
Bob! What're you doing?
Mary Robert leads the Dude out onto the dance floor.
MARY ROBERT
I'm getting experience.
CHRISTY
(to the Dude)
You watch yourself!
Christy decides she'd better keep an eye on Mary Robert;
she grabs another DUDE, and heads for the dance floor.
As the music percolates, Christy and Mary Robert dance;
Christy is very hot, and Mary Robert picks up on her moves.
The CLUB PATRONS are delighted, and cheer as the nuns start
to get down.
CLUB PATRON #1
Do it, Sisters!
CLUB PATRON #2
Sway and pray!
As the song, and the nuns' exuberant dancing, peak, the
Club Patrons cheer, shouting "Hallelujah!" and "Amen!"
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Christy and Mary Robert are walking back to the convent.
They are both in very good spirits.
MARY ROBERT
Those people are wonderful! Why don't
we ever see them in church?
CHRISTY
Good point. Especially that dude you
were with. I'd like to see him down
front.
MARY ROBERT
(giggling)
Mary Clarence! You're so... different
from the other sisters. Sometimes,
well... sometimes you sound more like a
layperson.
CHRISTY
Honey.
As the two women laugh together, they don't notice the car
that begins to follow them, creeping slowly forward with
its headlights out.
Page 55.
MARY ROBERT
I can't wait to tell Reverend Mother
about all my experiences. I've learned
so much.
CHRISTY
Well, you know, you don't have to tell
her everything. I mean, nothing really
happened. We just... took a walk.
The car's bright lights suddenly switch on, and the nuns
turn, startled. The car hurtles toward them. They scream,
and Christy grabs Mary Robert and throws her out of the
car's path; the two women land on a pile of garbage bags.
Struggling to her feet, Christy sees the car go into
reverse, and then pull forward again. She sees a glint of
light reflect off a gun as the car's driver (Mike the
bartender) leans out the window.
CHRISTY
(to Mary Robert)
Run!
Christy shoves Mary Robert towards an alley. As she does
so, the gun GOES OFF with a red flash. The shot misses the
two women and SHATTERS a plate glass window of the store
behind them.
EXT. ALLEY
Running up the alley, Christy and Mary Robert hear Mike's
FOOTSTEPS chasing them, growing louder as he gains on them.
MARY ROBERT
Mary Clarence!
CHRISTY
Keep moving!
Christy grabs the ladder of a fire escape, and shoves Mary
Robert up the ladder ahead of her.
CHRISTY
Climb! Now!
As Christy and Mary Robert climb the fire escape, another
GUNSHOT ECHOES in the alley, ricocheting off the fire
escape.
The nuns climb higher up the building. Mike pursues,
looking for a shot between the steps and the landings, but
not finding any openings. He takes the steps two at a time
and begins to gain ground.
At the fourth floor landing, Christy's heel gets stuck in
the grating. She pulls frantically at the laces.
Page 56.
CHRISTY
Goddamn it!
MARY ROBERT
Mary Clarence!
Mike arrives at the landing just as Christy twists her
toot out of the shoe, and surprises him with a lunge for
the gun. Mike's hand is knocked back against the metal
frame of the fire escape, and the gun flies loose, RATTLING
down the metal steps to the landing below. Christy shoves
Mary Robert into the open window of an apartment, and
follows her in.
INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT
Christy and Mary Robert leap into the bedroom of an
Hispanic couple, their arms wrapped around each other in
bed. At the women's entrance, the couple looks up, stunned
to see two nuns in their bedroom.
MARY ROBERT
Oh my Lord!
CHRISTY
(pushing Mary Robert
forward)
Experience!
The couple continues to look stunned as the nuns race out
of the room.
EXT. CONVENT - NIGHT
Christy and Mary Robert run up to the side door of the
convent; they catch their breath.
MARY ROBERT
What was all that? Who was that man?
Why would he shoot at us?
CHRISTY
I don't know, some people just don't
like nuns. I wish I had a ruler.
MARY ROBERT
We could have been killed! But you
saved me!
(throwing her arms
around Christy)
Thank you, Mary Clarence!
The door to the convent swings open. Mother Superior is
waiting.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Yes -- thank you so much.
Page 57
INT.CONVENT CORRIDOR - DAY
Christy sits alone outside Mother Superior's office,
listening to the loud TICKING of the clock on the wall. She
seems small and vulnerable, like a child sent to the
principal's office.
The door opens and Eddie emerges from the office.
CHRISTY
What'd she say?
EDDIE
You blew it -- big time. She doesn't
want you back.
CHRISTY
Does she know people are trying to kill
me out there?
EDDIE
She's counting on it. She's concerned
for your safety, but she wants me to try
and find another convent that will take
you. Or a carnival.
CHRISTY
So what am I supposed to do in the
meantime?
EDDIE
Go in and talk to her. It can't hurt.
(urging her)
Go.
Reluctantly, Christy rises and approaches the door. She
looks at Eddie, who motions her to go in. She finally
does.
INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE
Mother Superior is working on some papers at her desk as
Christy enters. Christy is trying to figure out a
strategy.
CHRISTY
So... hi there.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(not amused and not
looking up)
I don't believe we have anything to say
to each other.
CHRISTY
Look... I know I shouldn't have, I'm
incredibly sorry about Mary Robert, I
wasn't thinking, I didn't know that would
happen!
Page 58.
Mother Superior glances up from her work. She is
justifiably outraged.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Mary Robert's life was in danger! Your
behavior was inexcusable!
CHRISTY
I know! I'm sorry I didn't mean for
it to happen! And I was the one they
were shooting at!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Mary Clarence, I have given you every
opportunity. To change. To make a
decent life for yourself.
CHRISTY
A decent life? Excuse me? As what? A
janitor?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Clearly, you have learned nothing. And
you present an ongoing threat, both to
this convent and to yourself.
CHRISTY
But you can't kick me out! Guys want to
kill me! You're a nun! A big nun!
Aren't you supposed to have compassion?
For the wayward sheep? I mean, I'm a
major sinner! All-time great! Hall of
Fame! Aren't I, like, your dream come
true? Your Olympic event?
Mother Superior stares at Christy.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Mary Clarence, perhaps you are correct.
CHRISTY
(surprised)
I am?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
You may stay. But I shall restrict your
activities to but a single task.
CHRISTY
(with great dread)
What?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
You have, I believe, some minimal
background in music. Therefore, you are
to join our choir.
(MORE)
Page 59
MOTHER SUPERIOR (CONT'D)
You will sing, and you will sleep,' that
is your schedule until you depart. As
almost no one attends Mass, you will be
unable to cause further damage.
CHRISTY
No. No.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(smiling)
You're my Olympic event.
CHRISTY
Not the choir, please, anything but
that. The choir -- I mean, have you
heard them? I'll do anything, scrub
floors, toilets, you name it, but not
that I
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(in triumph)
The choir, Mary Clarence. Go for the
gold.
INT. CHOIR REHEARSAL ROOM - THAT DAY
There are twelve nuns in the room, going over sheet music.
Mary Lazarus is the group's leader; Mary Patrick and Mary
Robert are also in the choir. Christy appears at the door,
grimacing.
CHRISTY
Is this... choir practice?
MARY PATRICK
Sure is! Come on in, and sing a spell.
Christy spots Mary Robert.
CHRISTY
Mary Robert, I am so sorry about last
night...
MARY ROBERT
Now stop that. You didn't shoot at me.
You were only trying to help, to give me
experience. I tried to explain that to
Reverend Mother, but -- I don't know if
she understood.
Mary Lazarus cuts off this chitchat, thrusting a hymnal at
Christy.
MARY LAZARUS
Soprano or alto?
CHRISTY
(very gloomy)
Whatever.
Page 60.
Mary Lazarus hands Christy a hymnal, and raps her baton.
The choir begins to sing; Christy doesn't even bother
trying. She is horrified; the choir is the worst-sounding
group in history. They seem to be singing in several
random keys, and they even have trouble with the words. No
one looks up from their hymnals. Sister Alma, the organist
with the hearing aid, is plodding along.
INT. BLUE COLLAR BAR - DAY
Mike the bartender is taking chairs off tables and setting
them on the floor as Joey and Willy enter.
JOEY
We're looking for Mike.
MIKE
You found him -- but we're not open yet.
Willy grabs Mike's arms and bends them behind his back.
MIKE
Hey -- the till's empty!
Willy slams Mike's face into the wall, stunning him. Joey
lifts Mike's groggy face and offers sympathy.
JOEY
I'm sorry -- I don't know what gets into
him.
MIKE
Who are you guys?
JOEY
We're the guys from Vegas. You had
Christy last night, but you let her get
away. It's upsetting.
Willy hammers Mike's face into the wall again.
MIKE
But you didn't tell me!
JOEY
We didn't tell you what?
MIKE
That she's a nun! That chick you're
looking for -- she's a nun!
WILLY
What? Christy?
Page 61.
JOEY
A nun?
MIKE
I'm telling you!
Willy and Joey look at each other, and consider this.
Then they burst out laughing. They refuse to believe
Mike's story.
WILLY
Gimme a hand here.
Willy and Joey pick Mike up, and hurl him over the bar.
Then they exit, still laughing.
JOEY
A nun!
INT. CHOIR REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY
The choir continues its dreadful rendition of the hymn
Let Thy Thoughts He Guided. Christy is not singing; she
is clearly in pain. Mary Lazarus stops the song. One of
the nuns has to nudge Sister Alma to stop her playing.
MARY LAZARUS
Mary Clarence, are you with us?
CHRISTY
Um, I don't really know this one...
MARY ROBERT
Mary Clarence has a background in music.
That's what Reverend Mother said.
MARY PATRICK
(eagerly)
Really, Mary Clarence? Were you a
choirmistress?
CHRISTY
Sure. Kind of... free-lance.
MARY LAZARUS
(circling Christy)
Free-lance? Oh really? You think I
don't see? You think I took vows
yesterday? I know what you're up to. You
and Reverend Mother.
CHRISTY
What?
MARY LAZARUS
You're a ringer. She brought you in to
replace me. Out with the old.
Page 62.
CHRISTY
Hold on.
MARY PATRICK
Mary Clarence, could you? Mary Lazarus,
you're terrific, but...
(to Christy)
Could you help us?
ANOTHER NUN
Please?
ANOTHER NUN
You've heard us.
MARY LAZARUS
Well.
Everyone falls silent. Mary Lazarus walks across the
room, eyeballing each member of the choir.
MARY LAZARUS
There's a word for this -- mutiny.
(to Christy)
So, Mary Clarence, you think you can do
better. I believe I'd like to see that.
(she hands Christy her
pitchpipe and baton)
I'm out to pasture. Dry dock. The glue
factory. Go ahead, Sister -- make 'em
sing.
Everyone watches Christy.
CHRISTY
Well...
(to Nary Lazarus)
With all due respect... let's have a
look at this.
Christy goes over to the piano. She examines the sheet
music for "Let They Thoughts He Guided." She sits at the
piano, beside Sister Alma. Christy picks out the hymn on
the piano, accompanying herself.
CHRISTY
LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
LET THY SOUL BE HEALED
Christy's singing voice is, as usual, not very good. She
stops singing. For perhaps the first time in her life, she
has really heard herself.
CHRISTY
Man. I sound like you guys.
Page 63.
MARY LAZARUS
(victorious)
Very nice. Sisters, have we learned our
lesson? I won't hold this little episode
against anyone. I'll try not to.
CHRISTY
(standing)
Mary Robert.
Mary Robert jumps, startled by the attention.
MARY ROBERT
What?
CHRISTY
Mary Robert, I've watched you. You
never really sing. You whisper. Nothing
comes out.
MARY ROBERT
I don't want to mess anyone up...
CHRISTY
(to Sister Alma)
Give me a C.
(because Sister Alma
is hard of hearing)
A C!
Sister Alma plays the note. Christy points the baton at
Mary Robert. Mary Robert whispers the note.
CHRISTY
Louder! Like you're onstage.
Mary Robert sings a little louder.
CHRISTY
Like people are eating, and there's
silverware, and you want them to hear
you.
Mary Robert sings louder still.
CHRISTY
Think about that guy you were dancing
with!
Mary Robert finally lets out her full voice, which is huge
and glorious. After singing a single perfect note, she
stops abruptly; she has scared herself.
MARY ROBERT
Oh my!
Page 64.
CHRISTY
You see? We've got the voices. They're
just allover the place. I've heard all of
you, in the shower --you're decent.
Better than me. We just need charts --
harmony -- chops.
MARY PATRICK
(puzzled)
Chops?
CHRISTY
The goods. The sound. The sale. Let's
rearrange a few things. Mary Patrick,
you re not a natural soprano, you're an
alto. Get over here. Mary Robert --with
the sopranos.
The two nuns trade places.
CHRISTY
Sister Alma -- a C.
Sister Alma plays the note, and the nuns try to duplicate
it, but the results aren't much better than before. Christy
uses her pitchpipe; she circulates among the nuns, giving
each her note, urging them closer to pitch.
CHRISTY
Middle section, hold that note, for dear
life. Sopranos, an A. Sister Alma?
Sister Alma hits the note. Christy shuffles a couple of
more nuns to other sections, then gets a third note going
with the altos, using her pitchpipe.
For one moment, the nuns all realize they are singing a
perfect chord. They are elated.
MARY PATRICK
We did it! We actually sang a chord!
MARY ROBERT
(thrilled and
disconcerted)
That was exciting!
CHRISTY
Yeah, for one second. That was the
blend -- you've got to listen to each
other. Be a group.
MARY LAZARUS
(under her breath)
I knew that.
CHRISTY
Mary Lazarus, I get the feeling that you
like discipline. Hard work.
Page 65.
MARY LAZARUS
Of course. I'm a nun. Four Popes now.
The Lord hates a loafer.
CHRISTY
I hear you. How many days a week do you
rehearse?
MARY PATRICK
Two days. An hour or so.
CHRISTY
No way. We're a choir, right?
Headliners. The big room. Two days a
week won't cut it. Every day.
MARY LAZARUS
(impressed)
She's good.
MARY ROBERT
(to Christy)
Do you really think we could do it? Get
better?
CHRISTY
I don't know. Mary Lazarus, what do you
think? They're pretty raw.
MARY LAZARUS
Wet behind the ears.
CHRISTY
A bunch of real mama's girls.
MARY PATRICK
Oh, please? Can't we try?
Christy and Mary Lazarus look at each other, as real
comrades. Christy leans on Mary Lazarus' shoulder.
CHRISTY
It'll be hell.
MARY LAZARUS
Tell me about it.
Christy and Mary Lazarus shake hands, firmly. Christy
turns to the choir, very businesslike.
CHRISTY
Ten-hut!
INT. CONVENT LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY
This is a basement utility room. A large industrial
washer-dryer stands along one wall; the machine makes a
repetitive CHUNG-CHUNG sound
Page 66.
The choir nuns are busily doing laundry; some iron, others
fold sheets, others stack towels and garments on a long
table. Christy is helping Mary Patrick fold a sheet.
Everyone is working rhythmically, to the drone of the
washer-dryer.
CHRISTY
That machine.
MARY PATRICK
I know. It's ancient.
CHRISTY
It's a rhythm section. The beat.
Christy starts clapping her hands to the sound of the
washer-dryer; gradually, the other nuns join her.
CHRISTY
Mary Patrick -- do you remember the
Dixie Cups?
MARY PATRICK
The Dixie Cups? Oh my. I was just a
girl. Of course.
(singing)
SPRING IS HERE
THE SUN WILL SHINE
CHRISTY
(stopping the beat)
Hold it. Mary Patrick, you're a pretty
cheerful person, aren't you?
MARY PATRICK
Am I?
There is a murmur from all the other nuns -- "Oh, yes.
MARY PATRICK
(as a confession)
All right, I am, I know it! All my
life, I've just been... upbeat.
Optimistic. Perky. I can't help it.
Even when I was little, I remember my
mother used to say, "That child is pure
sunshine. She'll either be a nun -- or a
stewardess."
CHRISTY
So use it. When we sing hymns, they're
usually about rejoicing, right?
Celebration. Most music is. So don't
hold back. Let all that joy go right
into your voice. Make me happy. Let me
hear it. Perk out. Perk down.
Page 67.
MARY PATRICK
(with real joy)
SPRING IS HERE
THE SUN WILL SHINE
I'LL BE HIS
AND HE'LL BE MINE
WE'LL LOVE UNTIL
THE END OF TIME
AND WE'LL NEVER BE LONELY ANYMORE
CHRISTY
Because we're
ALL THE NUNS
GOING TO THE CHAPEL
AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED
GOING TO THE CHAPEL
AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED
GOING TO THE CHAPEL
AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED
MARY PATRICK
GOING TO THE CHAPEL OF LOVE!
The nuns have really gotten into the song, with Christy
encouraging them verbally. They are sounding better and
better.
SISTER MARY FREDERICK, a member of the choir, steps into
the laundry room and lets loose with a sudden, piercing
whistle. The nuns immediately stop singing, and a moment
later Mother Superior enters.
The room is quiet except for the sound of the washer-
dryer. The nuns all get very busy at their laundry tasks.
NUNS
(in unison)
Good morning, Reverend Mother.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Good morning, Sisters.
Mother Superior takes one more glance around, then leaves.
Now that the coast is clear, the singing begins again,
quietly, to the rhythm of the machine.
NUNS
GOING TO THE CHAPEL...
INT. CHAPEL
Bishop O'Hara is leading the Sunday Mass.
BISHOP O'HARA
Welcome this Sunday morning, 0 ye few
and faithful.
Page 68.
As usual, the chapel is almost empty, except for the nuns.
The choir is in place behind the pulpit.
BISHOP O'HARA
The choir, I am told, has elected a new
director -- Sister Mary Clarence, who
will lead them in Hymn 127.
Christy nods to the Bishop, and signals to Sister Alma,
who begins the accompaniment.
CHOIR
LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
LET THY SOUL BE HEALED
They sound fantastic. Their voices blend with a heavenly
harmony as they sing the slow, melodic hymn. Mother
Superior is startled by this new sound.
EXT. STREET
Lawanda and her friends glance at the convent with
curiosity as the beautiful MUSIC drifts out to the street.
A few other heads turn, but with only mild reactions.
INT. CHAPEL
At the end of the first verse, Christy signals the choir
to stop. There's a hush in the chapel as Christy glances
at the vacant pews. Then she turns to Sister Alma and
nods. Sister Alma strikes a bold, stirring chord.
Several of the nuns blink. Bishop O'Hara glances at the
organ with surprise. Mother Superior sits up with a
stiffened back and a severe expression.
As the chord grows in force, Christy gives the choir a
beat.
CHRISTY
One, two, three...
The choir begins a radically new version of the same hymn.
Christy strides up and down in front of the choir,
transforming the song into a rousing gospel anthem, with a
passionate call-and-response format.
CHOIR
LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
CHRISTY
What you say?
CHOIR
LET THY SOUL BE HEALED
Page 69.
CHRISTY
But how?
CHOIR
BY A VOICE YOU HEAR FROM ON HIGH
CHRISTY
I think I hear it!
CHOIR
LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
CHRISTY
You know, I just might!
CHOIR
LET THY SOUL BE HEALED
CHRISTY AND CHOIR
LET THY SPIRIT TAKE WING AND FLY!
Spontaneous reactions from everyone in the church.
EXT. STREET
The gorgeous, exciting MUSIC pours into the street.
Everyone turns to look. Windows open and people glance
out. The street takes on a new movement.
INT. CHAPEL
The choir really lets loose flow.
CHRISTY AND CHOIR
LET THY THOUGHTS BE STRENGTHENED
LET THY PRAYERS BE HEARD
LET OUR LORD REJOICE IN YOUR PRAISE
LET HIS GOODNESS LIFT YOU TO A HIGHER
PLACE
AND LET LOVE AND PEACE FILL YOUR DAYS
Lawanda and her friends peer in at the back door of the
chapel. Bishop O'Hara sees them, and beckons them to come
in.
CHRISTY
Sister Alma!
Sister Alma, inspired by Christy and the choir, burns up
the organ with a solo. More people from the street begin
to enter; tentative, curious, drawn by the music.
At the end of the solo, Christy makes a gesture to the
choir, and each member produces a tambourine. The chapel
is full of energy, music and life.
CHRISTY
Mary Robert!
Page 70.
Mary Robert sings, really letting the power of her voice
ring out. She is astonishingly good.
MARY ROBERT
LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
LET THY SOUL BE HEALED
BY A VOICE YOU HEAR FROM ON HIGH
LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
LET THY SOUL BE HEALED
LET THY SOUL TAKE WING AND FLY!
The new visitors to the church begin to clap in rhythm to
the music, and after a few beats, the nuns join in. Mother
Superior is aghast.
The choir builds to a huge gospel finish, all keeping
their eyes on Christy.
CHOIR
LET THY SPIRIT
CHRISTY
You know what we're saying!
CHOIR
LET THY SPIRIT
CHRISTY
I think they hear you!
MARY LAZARUS
LET THY SPIRIT
CHRISTY AND CHOIR
LET THY SPIRIT TAKE WING AND FLYI
After the final note, everyone in the chapel is
exhilarated -- everyone except Mother Superior. Christy
looks out at the congregation that has increased by a dozen
or more, including Lawanda and her friends. Christy looks
happier than she has in years.
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY
The members of the choir are all gathered outside Mother
Superior's office, leaning close to the door and listening
to her harangue Christy. They are surprised to find
themselves joined suddenly by Bishop O'Hara, and part to
let him through. He leans down to the keyhole and listens.
INT. OFFICE
Mother Superior is livid.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Gospel. A jazz solo on the organ. What
next? Jesus goes to Rio? Good Friday-a-
go-go? What were you thinking?
Page 71.
CHRISTY
I was thinking Las Vegas. Get some
butts in those seats.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls?
This is not a theater. or a casino.
CHRISTY
(sincerely)
Exactly. People like going to theaters
and casinos. But they think church is
for Grandma -- we could change that. Pack
the joint.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Through blasphemy? You have corrupted
the entire choir!
CHRISTY
Hold on. That's not fair. I worked
hard with them. They gave up their free
time, and they loved it. Those women are
happy. And we can get even better. We
can wake this place up.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Out of the question.
CHRISTY
Please let me try. I'm begging you.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
And I am refusing. As of tomorrow, Mary
Lazarus will resume her leadership of
the choir.
Christy is crestfallen. There is a KNOCK on the door, and
O'Hara enters. The other members of the choir are in
behind him like sardines.
BISHOP O'HARA
Reverend Mother, I just wanted to
congratulate you.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Oh?
BISHOP O'HARA
I haven't enjoyed Mass this much in
years. What a marvelous program.
Innovative. Inspiring. You are to be
commended.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Well... thank you.
Page 72.
BISHOP O'HARA
I can't wait until next Sunday, when the
choir performs again. Did you see the
people walk right in from the street?
That music, that heavenly music -- it
called to them.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Perhaps.
BISHOP O'HARA
I must tell the Cardinal. I.11 send him
a personal letter, describing your
efforts, your bold new fight to keep
your little convent alive.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Really?
Christy has just been eating this up with a spoon.
CHRISTY
Excuse me, Bishop. Reverend Mother has
some other ideas too. She's too modest
to talk about it, but she thinks we
should get out of the convent and into
the neighborhood more.
(putting her hands on
Mother Superior's
shoulders)
This woman.
Mary Patrick jumps forward.
MARY PATRICK
Bless her! There are so many problems
in this neighborhood that we could help
solve. That's why many of us became
nuns. It's marvelous, Reverend Mother.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(confused by the turn
things have taken)
Really...
CHRISTY
(with regard to Mother
Superior)
You know Reverend Mother. Hides her
light under a bushel. She has plans for
us to move right onto the streets. Get
to know people. Work with 'em.
BISHOP O'HARA
(to Mother Superior)
You're a pioneer.
Page 73.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
But, Bishop, surely you realize -- this
is a most dangerous neighborhood.
O'HARA
And you'll face that danger head-on. As
if I could stop you. And you have my
complete support in this matter. Anything
you can do to revitalize this
neighborhood would be a blessing.
CHRISTY
(hugging Mother
Superior from behind)
Don't you love her?
EXT. CONVENT - DAY
The nuns are out in force, painting the walls of the
convent, mostly with rainbows and flowers and bright,
shining suns. The CAMERA PANS to Christy, who is adding
her own original touch to the mural, using cans of spray
paint. Christy's section includes an image of a nun in a
miniskirt and spike heels, accompanied by neon letters that
read "St. Kate!" People gather in the street, watching the
nuns' activities. The convent begins to crackle with
energy and life.
A drug deal is going on in a house up the street, but the
DEALERS give only a curious glance to the action at the
convent.
INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S WINDOW
From the window of her office, Mother Superior watches the
painters and feels her control slipping away.
EXT. STREET - LATER
Christy leads the members of the choir down the middle of
the street. They get lots of attention each step of the
way. As each nun raps, the other nuns make rhythmic boom-
box noises.
CHRISTY
(rapping)
WE'RE THE SISTERS OF THE SACRED HEART WE
DO OUR BIT, NOW DO YOUR PART
MARY ROBERT
(rapping)
HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER TOO
DON'T KILL, DON'T STEAL, IT'S BAD FOR
YOU
MARY PATRICK
(rapping)
BELIEVE IN THE LORD, HIS WILL BE DONE
COME TO CHURCH, IT'S TONS OF FUN
Page 74.
MARY LAZARUS
(rapping)
DIG DOWN DEEP, GIVE ALL YOU CAN
TRUST ME, CHILDREN, THERE'S A HEAVENLY
PLAN!
The parade goes on, the crowd gathers, and a general air
of jubilance prevails.
INT. REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY
The rehearsal room is filled with high energy as the choir
is separated into several groups. Christy has got the
whole thing running like a disciplined Broadway cast.
Mary Patrick leads one group in the corner as they
practice synchronized movements with tambourines. Colorful
streamers are tied to the tambourines, and they make
colorful patterns in the air.
Sister Alma pounds the piano with newfound energy, as Mary
Robert and the sopranos reach higher and higher for notes
they've only dreamed of in the past.
Christy and Mary Lazarus have corralled the rest of the
nuns into a practice of intricate dance steps, somewhat
like the Temptations in skirts. Mary Lazarus keeps the
beat with a yardstick.
CHRISTY
Don't look at your feet, and I don't
want to see anybody counting. Make it
look easy. Again!
MARY LAZARUS
Right, right, cross with the left, spin
and turn!
CHRISTY
Hopeless I
MARY LAZARUS
Amateurs 2
CHRISTY
Babies
MARY LAZARUS
Again!
EXT. CRACK HOUSE - NIGHT
One of the drug dealers stands outside the crack house as
a car suddenly pulls up to the curb. He starts toward the
car as the DRIVER rolls down the window, but before he gets
there, Christy and several nuns surround the car.
Page 75.
CHRISTY
We're here to pray for you, brother.
DEALER
What? Get the hell out of here.
CHRISTY
We know you don't want to sell drugs.
You just had an unhappy childhood, and
maybe a learning disability. You just
need someone to pray for you.
MARY PATRICK
We know you don't want to bring pain and
misery to your friends and neighbors.
We'll pray to find you some honest work.
CHRISTY
And we know that, even though most
people would call you a leech and a
parasite, the lowest slug of humanity! We
know that deep down inside, you're
probably even worse. And so you truly
need our prayers.
DRIVER
What is this? Outta my way!
The nuns give him room, and the Driver zips off down the
street. A small crowd has begun to gather, and it is
growing by the moment, murmuring encouragement for the
nuns. Christy turns to the Dealer, as other cars drive
slowly past.
CHRISTY
Yes, prayer is the answer, and prayers
free We're going to give free prayers to
everyone who drives up to this house.
MARY ROBERT
(to the Dealer)
We're nuns!
MARY PATRICK
(to cruising cars)
Free prayers right over here! Drive up
and get your prayers!
DEALER
You're hassling my customers! That's
not legal! I know my rights. This is
restriction of trade.
CHRISTY
You wanna call a cop?
Page 76.
The Dealer's eyes turn ugly as he takes a gun from his
pocket. Mary Patrick steps forward.
MARY PATRICK
Are you going to shoot us all, tough
guy?
MARY LAZARUS
Is it worth it? A lot of witnesses
here.
CHRISTY
(to the crowd)
Can I get a witness?
The Dealer glances at the surly crowd, then gives the nuns
a disgusted look. He puts the gun away.
DEALER
So I'll find another neighborhood to do
my business. You can' t stop me.
CHRISTY
If we can stop you here, they can stop
you there.
The Dealer turns and walks back to his house with anger.
The crowd APPLAUDS and CHEERS.
The picture suddenly becomes GRAINY, and we hear the voice
of a NEWS REPORTER.
NEWS REPORTER (V.0.)
It was a truly remarkable scene, as the
nuns from St. Katherine's literally drove
the crack dealers from the neighborhood,
led by the feisty Sister Mary Clarence.
CAMERA PULLS BACK and we see a TV screen with an image of
the nuns and neighbors still celebrating. On top of the TV
are several framed photographs of Vince Laflocca, his wife
and children.
INT. VINCE LaROCCA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
CONNIE LaROCCA, Vince's wife, watches the TV NEWS STORY
and calls to Vince in the kitchen.
CONNIE
Vinnie, get in here. You gotta see
this!
Carrying a roast beef sandwich and a can of beer, Vince
appears from the kitchen and glances at the TV screen to
see a shot of the convent. He looks at Connie and makes a
sour face.
Page 77.
VINCE
What? Nuns? You got me in here to see
nuns? Isn't there a ball game on or
something?
Vince turns away from the TV just as a closeup of Christy
appears on the screen.
CONNIE
Look -- she's adorable!
Vince leaves the room, and we see Christy again as she
leads the choir.
INT. EDDIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Eddie is cooking spaghetti in his efficiency apartment and
watching the NEWS on TV at the same time. He pours himself
a glass of wine and stirs the spaghetti sauce.
NEWS REPORTER
This tiny convent has experienced an
amazing turnaround. The sisters have
revitalized and taken back their
neighborhood, all due to the energy and
talent of the convent choir, a group led
by this gifted young nun. Tell us, Mary
Clarence1 what makes you so special?
CHRISTY
(trying to appear
modest and nun-like)
Oh, I'm not special, Bob. It's just
hard work... and prayer.
Eddie all but spits out his wine. His eyes are wide as he
watches Christy being interviewed. In one stride, he grabs
his hat and coat and is out the door on the run.
EXT. CONVENT - DAY
The Sunday morning bell is CHIMING as crowds of people
stream into the convent. The entire neighborhood looks
cleaner, and the people walk with a spring in their step.
Three local TV stations have remote news crews on the scene
doing follow-ups on the story.
INT. CHAPEL HALLWAY
Last in line, Christy follows the other choir members down
a hallway toward the chapel. Suddenly, a hand reaches out
and grabs her, and a second hand covers her mouth as she is
pulled into an empty cell.
INT. CELL
Shocked and terrified, Christy struggles to free herself,
but is suddenly relieved to see that her abductor is Eddie.
Page 78.
Eddie releases her, and she falls onto the bed.
CHRISTY
Eddie! You scared the hell out of me!
EDDIE
What if I was Vince? You'd be dead
right now. What are you doing giving
interviews on TV?
CHRISTY
It wasn't my fault! They just showed
up. It's helping the convent.
EDDIE
You're supposed to be hiding out!
CHRISTY
I really can't talk about it now. The
place is packed. SRO. I've got a show
to do.
EDDIE
Listen to yourself. This isn't a career
opportunity.
CHRISTY
I know that. This isn't about me. It's
about the choir. You should hear them.
They're good. Really good. And I
taught them.
EDDIE
Jesus, look at you You're glowing.
CHRISTY
I am?
EDDIE
Yeah. You look... great. I mean it..
CHRISTY
(flirting)
Really? Lieutenant?
EDDIE
I've been worried about you.
Eddie sits on the bed beside Christy.
CHRISTY
You mean -- worried about my testimony?
EDDIE
No -- worried about you. Personally.
Page 79.
CHRISTY
Well.. thanks. I've been thinking
about you.. - sometimes. I mean, there
aren't a lot of guys around here. I
mean, sometimes I feel like... a nun.
EDDIE
Me too.
CHRISTY
You're not... seeing anybody?
EDDIE
No. Most of the time I'm thinking about
you. And now... you've really changed.
CHRISTY
I have?
EDDIE
You re sort of... radiant. your eyes
are shining. You're rea1ly different...
Eddie and Christy are gazing into each other's eyes; they
are just about to kiss. Their lips are less than an inch
apart.
EDDIE
You're... you're a nun.
Eddie and Christy jump apart, their intimacy has
frightened them both, particularly given Christy's outfit,
and their location.
CHRISTY
We're in a convent!
Christy goes to the door.
CHRISTY
I've got to go.
EDDIE
Just remember - you're a target. Don't
you think Vince has a T.V.?
CHRISTY
(trying to think
straight)
I know, I know. I'll be careful. I'll
try.
Christy begins to leave, and then she turns, filled with a
performer's excitement.
CHRISTY
Magic time!
Page 80.
Christy hurries toward the chapel, leaving Eddie to shake
his head and wonder.
INT. CHAPEL
Sister Alma plays the organ, and the choir hums quietly as
Christy addresses the congregation. Cameras from several
TV stations are focussed on her from various places in the
chapel.
CHRISTY
This Sunday's hymn is inspired by the
lesson of Mary Magdalene. You know the
one. Mary Magdalene was a young lady
with a past. She was no stranger to sin.
She was no stranger to practically
everybody. Many condemned her. The
whole neighborhood. But one man refused
to do so. One man said, hey now, wait a
minute. Listen to the story.
Sister Alma starts playing a doo-wop vamp. Mary Patrick
and Mary Robert step forward from the choir, standing
beside Christy the way the Ronelles used to do.
CHRISTY
Hey, girls.
MARY PATRICK AND ROBERT
Hail, Mary.
CHRISTY
Jerusalem is a real drag. Everybody
hates me.
MARY PATRICK AND ROBERT
Oh-huh.
CHRISTY
People throw stones. They call me
names. I mean, really.
MARY PATRICK AND ROBERT
Really.
CHRISTY
But -- wait.
MARY PATRICK
What is it, Mary?
CHRISTY
That man -- who is he?
MARY ROBERT
He's a carpenter.
Page 81
MARY PATRICK
He's not like other guys.
MARY ROBERT
He's decent.
MARY PATRICK
He's kind.
CHRISTY
He's... dreamy. He's...
CHOIR
Yes, Mary?
CHRISTY
HE'S SO FINE...
The full choir sings back-up while Christy, Mary Patrick
and Mary Robert perform intricate girl group choreography.
CHOIR
DOO- LANG, DOO-LANG, DOO- LANG.
CHRISTY/MARY ROBERT/ MARY PATRICK
WISH HE WAS MINE
THAT HANDSOME GUY OVER THERE
THE ONE WITH THE WAVY HAIR
Sister Alma is surrounded by several STREET KIDS who play
guitar, bass and drums to accompany the organ and choir.
Lawanda and her friends sit in a pew, moving joyously to
the music.
Eddie stands in the back of the chapel, watching a Christy
he has never seen before. Christy is now glowing with
happiness and confidence.
As the song continues, we see the chapel is packed to the
rafters. A tin bucket is passed around as a collection
plate, and it overflows with money.
EXT. CONVENT
Church services are over, and happy people stream out of
the convent, but they don't hurry home. Standing in
groups, they talk pleasantly and make plans for the day.
There is a real sense of neighborhood up and down the
block.
Eddie comes down the steps, glances back at the convent,
smiles to himself, then crosses the street to his car.
Page 82.
INT. CHAPEL
Christy and the choir stare at the collection plate that
is filled with money.
CHRISTY
Jackpot! Two buckets
MARY PATRICK
This is so exhilarating! All week long,
I can't wait till Sunday, when we sing.
MARY ROBERT
I'd rather sing than do anything!
MARY PATRICK
It's better than ice cream.
MARY ROBERT
It's better than springtime.
CHRISTY
It's better than sex!
Everyone looks at Christy with astonishment.
CHRISTY
(catching herself)
I imagine.
Everyone's attention suddenly turns to Bishop O'Hara as he
approaches.
O'HARA
Better and better, Sisters, you are
truly an inspiration. And I bear
gladsome tidings.
The choir gathers around O'Hara with curiosity.
O'HARA
I've kept the Cardinal informed of your
progress in the neighborhood. He has
been most impressed. And he has invited
you to attend a special evening Mass at
St. Matthew's Cathedral on Sunday night1
to sing for the Council of Cardinals.
The choir reacts with an excited buzz: "The Council of
Cardinals!", "What shall we sing?", etc.
Mother Superior appears, from the center aisle.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
That is indeed glorious news, Bishop. We
will be honored to appear.
(MORE)
Page 83.
MOTHER SUPERIOR (CONT'D)
And on such an occasion, I feel a
completely traditional program will be
best.
CHRISTY
What do you mean?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
The council of Cardinals is perhaps the
most esteemed body in the entire Catholic
church. They command the utmost respect.
Your more... secular entertainment would
be wholly out of place.
MARY PATRICK
But, Reverend Mother -- everyone loves
our new style.
MARY ROBERT
It's brought people back to the church.
CHRISTY
Isn't that why we were asked to sing for
those Cardinals?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I believe this can be settled by a
simple vote.
CHRISTY
A vote?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Of course. Mary Clarence, a convent is
not a totalitarian state. Most major
decisions are made by the membership as a
whole. A membership that, I am certain,
will vote in a rational and pious manner.
All those in favor of allowing Mary
Clarence to select a program?
All the nuns look at one another. Then, slowly, one by
one, they all raise their hands.
Mother Superior is pure steel at this moment; her
expression betrays no emotion. Christy, on the other hand,
is quite confused.
CHRISTY
But... wait a minute...
MOTHER SUPERIOR
The majority has spoken.
Page 84.
BISHOP O'HARA
Reverend Mother, as always, you are a
true leader. Gracious and understanding.
MARY ROBERT
It will be wonderful, Reverend Mother.
You'll see.
MARY LAZARUS
(gesturing to Christy)
She's a pro.
CHRISTY
What?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I am certain the presentation will be a
great success. Congratulations, Mary
Clarence. And congratulations to you
all.
The nuns cheer, and cluster around Christy, chattering
about the upcoming concert, as Mother Superior strides off.
INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Seated at her desk, Mother Superior glances up as Christy
enters.
CHRISTY
You sent for me?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
You have a phone call.
Mother Superior continues with her paperwork as Christy
picks up the phone.
CHRISTY
Hello?
EDDIE'S VOICE
Good news, kid. I pulled a few strings
the judge has agreed to move the trial
up. We'll be in court in a couple of
days.
With mixed emotions, Christy speaks softly.
CHRISTY
That soon?
Mother Superior is a very interested eavesdropper.
EDDIE'S VOICE
Forty-eight hours -- and you'll be a
free woman.
Page 85.
CHRISTY
Great. That's good to hear.
EDDIE'S VOICE
Hey, don't thank me or anything.
CHRISTY
Right, right -- thanks.
Christy hangs up the phone. She looks at Mother Superior.
CHRISTY
Hey -- your prayers have been answered.
I'm leaving. In just a couple of days.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Really. Well, that makes two of us.
CHRISTY
What?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I have submitted my resignation to
Bishop O'Hara. Privately. I have asked
to be relocated as soon as possible.
CHRISTY
But -- why?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I must go where I can be of use.
CHRISTY
But -- there's so much more to do right
here. And look, if it's about me, I
mean, I'm gone.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Indeed. After how long? A few weeks?
I have been here thirty years. And yet,
it would seem, I know nothing.
CHRISTY
But everything that's happening is good!
You can be a part of it!
MOTHER SUPERIOR
A part of what? Mary Clarence, it is
one thing to rabble rouse, to sweep into
town and declare a holiday. You have
raised the Sisters' expectations, you
have excited and confused them. They
imagine this neighborhood to be some sort
of delightful ongoing block party.
(MORE)
Page 86.
MOTHER SUPERIOR (CONT'D)
You and I know that life is not so
simple. There will be disappointments.
Rude shocks. And you will have vanished.
How... fortunate.
CHRISTY
Okay, so I just got things started. But
you could build on that. You could keep
it going.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I am sorry, Mary Clarence. I seem to
have misplaced my tambourine. Good day,
Mary Clarence.
CHRISTY
But...
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Good day.
Christy, frustrated, leaves the room. Mother Superior
looks up, she is truly torn, a proud woman unsure of her
choices.
EXT. CONVENT - NIGHT
The moon casts shafts of silver light down to the
courtyard of the convent. Most of the lights in the
neighborhood are out at this late hour.
CHRISTY'S VOICE
(whispering)
Come on... I've got a surprise...
INT. CONVENT KITCHEN - NIGHT
The kitchen is dark, lit only by a flickering candle
carried by Christy. Three more candles appear, carried by
Mary Robert, Mary Patrick and Mary Lazarus. The door to
the freezer opens, and light spills out. Christy removes
several pints of ice cream and distributes them to the
nuns.
MARY ROBERT
(delighted)
Ice cream!
MARY PATRICK
Mary Clarence -- you shouldn't have.
Where did you get this?
MARY LAZARUS
It's a sin. It's a wicked indulgence.
Is this butter almond?
Page 87.
Christy and the nuns sit on stools, enjoying their ice
cream by candlelight.
CHRISTY
It's contraband. Don't ask. But I
wanted to give you a treat. A sort of...
thank-you gift.
MARY ROBERT
A thank-you? For what? You're the one
we should be thanking.
MARY LAZARUS
Is there any syrup?
CHRISTY
Well... see, at my old convent, I wasn't
always... real popular. I was sort of
selfish and... not real helpful. Okay,
I'll say it -- I wasn't much of a nun.
But now, thanks to all of you... maybe
I'm shaping up.
MARY ROBERT
Mary Clarence, don't be silly. You're
an example to us all. You've taught us
so much. We're singing for the
Cardinals, and then -- who knows? Maybe
the choir can travel -- to schools, and
nursing homes.
MARY PATRICK
Maybe we can get some of the local kids
to sing with us.
MARY LAZARUS
We could cut a demo. Look for a label.
CHRISTY
(knowing she has to
leave)
That's true, wouldn't that be great. Of
course, we never know when things are
going to change. Any one of us could be
transferred to another convent, tomorrow.
MARY ROBERT
(worried)
Are you leaving us?
CHRISTY
(sincerely)
Oh no. We'll always be together.
MARY LAZARUS
That's what Diana Ross said.
Page 88.
Christy and the nuns qiggle, and continue eating their ice
cream, in a spirit of true friendship.
Mother Superior watches this scene, hidden in the shadows
by the door to the kitchen. She has begun to see Christy
in a new light. She looks thoughtful, and walks off.
INT. LAS VEGAS POLICE DEPARTMENT - DAY
Tate sits at his desk in the detective room, reading the
sports section. HENRY PARKER, the accountant for the
police department, looks stressful as he enters the room
and heads for Eddie's glassed-in office. Tate glances up
as Parker passes his desk.
TATE
You're too late. Mulcahy just left.
PARKER
I need his signature on some things.
They can't be processed without it.
TATE
Leave 'em. He'll sign 'em later.
Parker looks annoyed -- he doesn't like deviations from
procedure -- but after a moment of indecision, he sets the
file folder on Tate's desk and walks away.
Tate finishes the newspaper and shoves it aside. Bored,
looks at his watch, then flips the file folder open and
glances at its contents; routine money vouchers for
equipment, supplies, etc. Tate is about to close the
folder and shove it aside when something catches his eye.
TATE
What the hell is this...?
He examines a money voucher for a generous donation to St.
Katherine's Convent in San Francisco. It only takes a
moment to put two and two together, and Tate scrambles for
his phone and dials a number.
INT. CORRIDOR
Henry Parker waits for the elevator. When it opens, he's
surprised to see Eddie step out.
PARKER
Tate said you were gone.
EDDIE
I get all the way down to my car, and,
of course -- where are the keys?
Page 89.
PARKER
I left the money vouchers with him. He
said you'd sign them in the morning.
Eddie nods and moves on as Parker enters the elevator.
After a few steps, Eddie suddenly looks disturbed. He
picks up his pace. A little panicky, he begins to jog
toward the squad room.
INT. VINCE'S OFFICE
Vince is on the telephone. He signals Joey and Willy, and
they move quickly toward him.
VINCE
This is it. Get ready to move. No
mistakes. Grab her, get her to the
Moonlight. We meet there, and we take
care of her.
(into phone)
We're on it. Give me the address.
Vince begins to write down the address.
INT. SQUAD ROOM
Tate is hunched over the telephone, talking quietly with
his back to the rest of the room. The voucher for St.
Katherine's is in his hand as Eddie moves quickly toward
him.
TATE
St. Katherine's Convent on East Barton.
It's gotta be the place.
Tate hangs up the phone and BOOM! Eddie hits him from
behind like a linebacker, drilling him to the floor. Other
detectives look up from their desks with confusion and
alarm. Eddie pins Tate to the wall and snatches the
voucher from his hand.
EDDIE
You're the leak, you son-of-a-bitch!
Clarkson and another detective restrain Eddie before he
can hit Tate.
EDDIE
Get him out of here! Downstairs, in the
cell! I want his ass locked up now!
Nobody dares even question Eddie at this moment, and two
detectives drag Tate away. Eddie grabs Tate's phone and
dials long distance.
EDDIE
Clarkson, get on the other line. Call
Frisco Central. Tell 'em to get two
squad cars outside St. Katherine's
convent, and stop anybody with an out-of-
state license plate from getting near the
place.
Clarkson dials quickly. Eddie listens to Tate's telephone
as it RINGS and RINGS and RINGS.
INT. CONVENT - DAY
All the nuns are in the chapel as the choir rehearses a
hymn, along with Gina and her girlfriends. Those who are
not in the choir clap their hands in rhythm. War in the
background, we can hear the telephone RINGING.
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Eddie's police car streaks past an entrance ramp with the
SIREN screaming. It blazes through traffic, weaving in and
out at breakneck speeds. A moment later, Joey and Willy
pull onto the highway at a fast rate. The race is on, with
Eddie securely in the lead.
INT. CONVENT - DAY
In the rehearsal room, the choir members are putting on
their robes. Christy and several nuns are all trying to
primp in front of one small mirror.
MARY ROBERT
The Council of Cardinals! I'm so
nervous! What if I forget the words?
CHRISTY
Right to Hell. Just kidding. Where is
that bus?
MARY PATRICK
It should be here any minute.
MARY LAZARUS
(with a clipboard)
Dress rehearsal at four, performance at
8:30. Sharp.
Christy looks out the window, but sees no bus.
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Eddie's police car streaks toward L.A.
Page 91.
EXT. CONVENT - DAY
The neighborhood has turned out to see the choir off.
Banners hang from the fire escapes of the building across
the street: "ST. KATE'S - THE GREATEST!", "GOOD LUCK
TONIGHT!"
A Catholic school bus pulls up to the convent and parks in
front. Several nuns in choir robes come outside and hurry
onto the bus. A moment later, Eddie's police car streaks
up to the side entrance of the convent, parking around the
corner from the bus.
INT. CONVENT
Eddie runs into the convent and finds Mother Superior at
the bottom of the stairs.
EDDIE
Reverend Mother! Quick! Where's
Christy?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
What's wrong?
EDDIE
They know she's here! They're on their
way!
Mother Superior points up the stairs.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
The rehearsal room!
Mother Superior looks alarmed as Eddie takes the stairs
two at a time.
INT. REHEARSAL ROOM
Looking out the window, Mary Robert sees the bus.
MARY ROBERT
It's here! Let's go!
Everyone makes a final check of their appearance, and then
the group leaves the room to head for the bus. Mary Robert
and Mary Patrick are the last to leave, except for Christy.
MARY PATRICK
Hurry, Sister!
CHRISTY
Get moving. I'm right behind you.
Christy primps in the mirror one last time, then leaves
the room. She is puzzled to suddenly see Eddie running
toward her from a side staircase.
Page 92.
CHRISTY
Eddie...?
Eddie grabs her hand and pulls her toward the side
staircase.
EDDIE
Vince knows you're here.
CHRISTY
(shocked and scared)
How?
EDDIE
Long story. His goons will be here any
minute. We've got to get you out of here
'- now!
Christy and Eddie hurry down the steps to the side
entrance, and she almost trips on her choral robes. Eddie
opens the door and starts outside, but Christy stops in her
tracks.
CHRISTY
I can't go with you.
EDDIE
What?
CHRISTY
I've got a show -- at St. Matthew's
Cathedral. We're singing for the
Cardinals.
EDDIE
You're gonna be singing for St. Peter if
you don't get your ass out of here!
Eddie jerks her hand, and Christy follows him reluctantly
to the car.
INT. EDDIE'S CAR
Eddie takes off at a fast clip up the street. As the car
cruises through an intersection, Christy looks back at the
bus with confusion and sadness. She sees the other nuns
rushing back into the convent to look for her.
INT. REHEARSAL ROOM
Several members of the choir rush into the room with panic
in their eyes.
MARY PATRICK
Mary Clarence! Sister!
MARY ROBERT
It's no use. She just isn't here.
Page 93.
MARY PATRICK
It doesn't make any sense. She was
right behind me...
The HORN on the school bus blows loudly down in the
street.
MARY ROBERT
We can't sing without her! What should
we do?
MARY PATRICK
(calming herself)
We'll pray -- and she'll be there.
The nuns are calmed by the tone of Mary Patrick's voice.
They leave the room to join the others on the bus.
EXT. STREET - DAY
Eddie's police car streaks through crowded streets.
INT. EDDIE'S CAR
Christy still looks unsettled.
CHRISTY
Eddie -- I've got to go back. They
won't sing without me. I'm deserting
them.
EDDIE
I think they'd understand.
CHRISTY
That's not the point! They need me!
Eddie glances at her, impressed by the influence the
convent has had.
EDDIE
They need you? A bunch of nuns? For
what? Moral guidance? Make-up tips?
CHRISTY
You don't get it! It's a big thing for
them, it's like... Caesar's Palace.
Prime-time. They're singing for the
Cardinals. It's like... "Star Search."
If first prize was a trip to the Vatican.
They've worked really hard, they deserve
this.
EDDIE
(goading her)
Nuns?
Page 94.
CHRISTY
They're not nuns. They're like..
people. With one outfit.
EXT. CONVENT - DAY
Joey and Willy park their car in front of the convent, get
out quickly and climb the steps to the front door. They
ring the bell.
JOEY
So that guy in the bar was right? She's
like... some kind of nun?
WILLY
Yeah, right -- when I see it.
Lawanda and her friends watch Joey and Willy pounding on
the convent door.
LAWANDA
You dudes looking for nuns? They all
went to St. Matthew's.
JOEY
St, Matthew's? Thanks.
LAWANDA
Praise the Lord.
Joey and Willy run past the girls, get into their car and
take off.
INT. EDDIE'S CAR - DAY
Eddie glances at the dashboard and sees that the fuel
gauge is close to empty. He wheels into a gas station and
pulls up to the tanks. Christy starts to open the door,
but he stops her.
EDDIE
What're you doing?
CHRISTY
Even nuns have to pee.
He lets her go, then gets out to pump gas.
INT. WOMEN'S ROOM
Christy enters the bathroom; it is deserted. She fondles
her rosary beads, and sinks to her knees. This position
doesn't work for her; she stands. She looks around her;
she glances up, toward heaven. She decides to do things
simply, and speaks in a matter-of-fact tone.
Page 95.
CHRISTY
Okay, it's me. Mary Clarence. Christy.
It's Chris Carter. I need some help
here. I can't believe I'm doing this.
Okay, look, I know I should just get back
in the car, and get the hell out of here.
Save my skin. I mean, it's not wrong,
Vince really wants to kill me. Why do you
make guys like Vince? But if I don't
sing at St. Matthew's... Mary Robert.
Mary Patrick. It means so much to them.
They're counting on me -- and I like
that. Maybe Reverend Mother is right,
maybe I am a bad influence, maybe I'm
just some Vegas slut, but... can we cut a
deal here? I mean, I still don't believe
in, like, most of the Commandments, and
stuff in church still gives me the
willies, but -- if I go back and sing, if
I do a good deed, will you promise I
won't get killed? All I want is a sign.
Lightning. Thunder. Anything.
Suddenly, Christy hears the toilet FLUSH in the next
bathroom.
CHRISTY
(in disbelief)
No. No. Doesn't count...
Suddenly, Christy hears "AVE MARIA" coming from a radio or
TV outside the bathroom. She looks up; a ray of sunlight
illuminates a grimy, dime-store Christmas tree ornament
hanging from a room deodorizer. The ornament is a glittery
angel; it sparkles in the light.
Christy leaves the bathroom, still not quite sure.
EXT. GAS STATION
Christy looks through the grimy window of the gas station
office. A bored Mechanic is watching a small portable TV.
On the TV is an episode of "THE FLYING NUN": Sally Field,
in full habit, is soaring along.
Suddenly, Christy hears the loud ROAR of a motorcycle
starting up over by one of the gas pumps. The BIKER turns
and looks at Christy: he has long hair, and a beard and
moustache, and he looks, well, a bit like Jesus.
CHRISTY
Oh my God...
Christy runs up to the Biker..
CHRISTY
I'm late for church. Can I get a lift?
Page 96.
Christy swings onto the back seat; the Biker puts his
Harley in gear and flies down the street. Eddie is shocked
as he drops some money on the ground and jumps into his car
to follow.
EXT. ST. MATTHEW'S CATHEDRAL - DAY
We see a network truck parked in front of the landmark
cathedral.
INT. CHAPEL
There is a sense of chaos in the chapel as TECHNICIANS set
up television equipment, and Mother Superior leads the
choir as it rehearses. Near the back of the chapel, Bishop
O'Hara looks concerned over the performance of the choir. A
CARDINAL walks up to Bishop O'Hara.
CARDINAL
Is this the choir you've been speaking
so highly of, Bishop?
O'HARA
They're just a bit nervous. They'll be
fine.
The choir seems very demoralized as they finish the hymn.
Mary Patrick is close to tears.
MARY PATRICK
We sound terrible We need Mary
Clarence.
MARY LAZARUS
We're losing it.
MARY ROBERT
I don't understand. Where is she?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Her whereabouts are unknown, and we must
proceed without her. Pull yourselves
together.
Clapping his hands briskly, the FLOOR DIRECTOR suddenly
steps forward from behind the TV cameras and hustles the
choir away from the altar.
FLOOR DIRECTOR
Okay, Sisters, we have to move on now.
That was great, just great. Charlie,
throw a spot on the pulpit. Let's get a
balance.
Dispirited, the choir leaves the altar and walks toward
the back of the church.
Page 97.
EXT. LOS ANGELES STREET
The motorcycle flies through the streets, breaking every
traffic law on the books. Christy's robe flaps behind her
in the wind, and she has a wide smile as she rides. As
passersby stare at her, she holds out two fingers and
blesses them.
EXT. ST. MATTHEW'S CATHEDRAL
Mary Robert stands alone in front of the cathedral,
wringing her hands with worry. Suddenly, her face
brightens like the dawn as she sees Christy ride up.
MARY ROBERT
You're here! Thank goodness!
INT. CATHEDRAL
Christy and Mary Robert rush down a side corridor, turn a
corner and see two TV Technicians standing near some cables
with the letters of the network embroidered on the backs of
their jackets. Christy rushes up to them and taps them on
the shoulders.
CHRISTY
Excuse me -- where's the rehearsal room?
The two Technicians turn toward her, and she is horrified
to see they are. Joey and Willy. Christy gasps as Willy
sticks a gun in her ribs. Joey smiles at her.
JOEY
The rehearsal room is right this way.
Joey opens a door that leads to an alley behind the
cathedral. Mary Robert looks confused.
MARY ROBERT
Wait, this isn't the way. Who are you?
CHRISTY
They're from my old convent.
Christy suddenly lifts her knee into Willy's groin, and he
buckles over. She scrambles for the gun, but Joey beats
her to it. Christy looks frantically at Mary Robert.
CHRISTY
Run! Take off!
MARY ROBERT
Again?
Revived Willy lunges for Mary Robert and grabs her. The
two men hustle the two struggling nuns out the door to the
alley.
Page 98.
EXT. ALLEY - DAY
Joey and Willy wrestle the two nuns to the open door of
their car. They shove Christy and Mary Robert into the
back seat, and Willy climbs in next to them.
WILLY
Go!
Joey starts the car, and it takes off with SQUEALING
tires. Willy has his gun pointed at Christy, who sits
beside Mary Robert.
MARY ROBERT
But what do they want? Where are we
going?
CHRISTY
(to Joey and Willy)
She's got nothing to do with this. Let
her go.
JOEY
Yeah, right to the cops. No way.
CHRISTY
Mary Robert, don't panic. Remember what
we talked about? Experience?
JOEY
What?
CHRISTY
(quickly, to Mary
Robert)
You can handle this.
The car comes to a stop at an intersection. Christy
reaches across Mary Robert and opens the car door. She
shoves Mary Robert into the street.
CHRISTY
Go!
Mary Robert executes a perfect somersault onto the
sidewalk. She looks to heaven, crosses herself and runs
back to the cathedral.
Willy grabs Christy before she can escape.
JOEY
She's gettin' away!
WILLY
Forget her! We got the one we need!
Step on it!
Joey takes off again.
Page 99.
EXT. STREET
Eddie's car is tied up in traffic, but he turns on his
blinker lights and peels over to the opposite lane. Cars
stop to let him through.
INT. ST. MATTHEW'S CATHEDRAL - DAY
In the rehearsal room, Mary Robert has just finished
telling the nuns what happened to Christy.
MARY PATRICK
You mean -- they kidnapped her?
MARY ROBERT
Yes -- two men -- and they had guns.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
She shouldn't have come back. She knew
she was in danger.
MARY PATRICK
But -- why would anyone kidnap a nun?
MARY LAZARUS
Were they Catholics?
Mother Superior suddenly steps forward.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
She isn't a nun. Her real name is
Christy Van Cartier, and she is a
professional entertainer. She witnessed
a vicious crime, and has been hiding in
our convent.
The nuns all react with shock and emotion.
MARY ROBERT
An... entertainer?
MARY PATRICK
She wasn't a nun?
ANOTHER NUN
She lied to us?
MARY ROBERT
But... but... she was such a wonderful
nun.
MARY PATRICK
Look what she did with the choir. She
made us sing beautifully.
MARY LAZARUS
That should have tipped us.
Page 100.
MARY ROBERT
Well, I don't care who she is. We can't
sing without her!
MARY PATRICK
She's our inspiration!
MARY LAZARUS
She's the act!
MARY ROBERT
Reverend Mother, I know that you and
Mary Clarence didn't always agree, but --
we've got to help her.
MARY PATRICK
We've got to save her!
MARY LAZARUS
We can't leave it up to the Feds!
The nuns all look to Mother Superior for an answer.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Calm down. Think clearly. Mary Robert,
do you have any idea who those men were?
MARY ROBERT
She said they were from her old convent.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
But... she was a showgirl. She didn't
have an old convent.
MARY PATRICK
She told us about one. The Little
Sisters of the Moonlight. In Las Vegas.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
All right. It's a beginning. Las
Vegas, Nevada.
All the nuns hurriedly cross themselves.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Mary Lazarus, find the Bishop and tell
him the situation. Everyone else --
follow me.
Mother Superior leads the way out the door.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
The Driver sits at the wheel of the school bus, reading a
sleazy novel. He looks up as the nuns all converge on the
door.
Page 101
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Emergency! Open up!
The Driver opens the door.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
The San Francisco airport! Immediately!
The nuns are all zooming past the Driver, onto the bus.
MARY LAZARUS
(to the Driver)
Step on it!
Mary Lazarus grabs the Driver's sleazy novel, confiscating
it. The Driver starts the engine. As the bus drives off,
Eddie's car streaks INTO THE SCENE and parks in front of
the cathedral.
INT. ST. MATTHEW'S CATHEDRAL
Eddie rushes into the lobby and sees Bishop O'Hara.
EDDIE
Where is she?
O'HARA
There was a kidnapping. We think Las
Vegas.
Eddie turns and races back toward the car.
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO AIRPORT - NIGHT
Several small planes are parked on the tarmac.
Mother Superior and the nuns are arguing with the MANAGER
of the airport, a grouchy guy in grease-stained overalls.
MANAGER
Fifteen hundred for the run to Vegas.
Rock-bottom.
MARY PATRICK
But we don't have fifteen hundred!
MARY ROBERT
We're nuns!
The Manager starts back toward his office.
MANAGER
Can't help you. No exceptions.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Young man!
Page 102.
The voice has a powerful ring of authority to it, and the
Manager looks around.
MANAGER
What?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
We are nuns. We pray.
MANAGER
So?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
We pray for good things. Food for the
hungry.
MARY PATRICK
Peace on Earth.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
However, we can also pray for other
things.
MARY PATRICK
Measles.
MARY ROBERT
Lawsuits.
MARY LAZARUS
Tax audits.
There is a pause, as the Manager stares at the nuns in
horror.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Come, Sisters. Let's go to chapel.
Bring your beads.
The nuns begin to leave.
MANAGER
Wait!
EXT. NIGHT SKY - LATER
A plane sweeps through the desert sky, headed for Las
Vegas. Through the windows of the plane, we see nuns
staring out at the glittering city in the distance.
INT. MOONLIGHT CASINO - NIGHT
Packed with gamblers, the room is a flurry of activity.
Joey works his way through the crowd, then spots Vince near
the money cage.
JOEY
We got her.
Page 103.
Vince follows Joey out of the casino with a grim
expression.
INT. STORAGE ROOM
Vince and Joey enter a storage room that is cluttered with
boxes. Christy is tied to a chair in the back of the room,
with Willy standing guard over her.
Christy sits very calmly, despite the anger she is in.
She seems distinctly nun-like in her radiant serenity.
VINCE
(turning on the charm)
Babe.
Christy does not reply.
VINCE
Babe, what happened here? Look at you.
CHRISTY
Good evening, Vincent.
VINCE
What, Vincent? This is me, doll. I
know you. What did you think you were
doing? Running to the cops. Hiding out.
No, no. You're sorry now, aren't you?
CHRISTY
I am sorry for all my sins. And yours.
Vince, Willy and Joey all look at each other, perplexed.
WILLY
She's a nun, Vince.
VINCE
(kneeling by Christy)
I love you, Chris. I always will. I
gave you so much. My time. My
affection. A big-time career. And how
do you repay me? What's the thanks I
get? Where's the loyalty, huh? Where's
the love?
CHRISTY
You will be judged, Vincent. We all
will.
Vince stands; the charm hasn't worked. He's getting
angry.
VINCE
What do you mean -- judged? I don't get
judged, baby.
(MORE)
Page 104.
VINCE (CONT'D)
And who are you to talk? You were
nothing. You couldn't even sing. I must
have been out of my mind.
WILLY
She's acting weird, Vince. Ever since
we picked her up.
JOEY
It's spooky. It's like she ain't even
afraid or nothing.
Vince grabs the front of Christy's habit and squeezes it
tightly around her throat.
VINCE
She's afraid. Come on, tell the boys
you're afraid.
CHRISTY
(calmly)
I feel sorry for you, Vincent. And I
forgive you.
This really throws Vince, and angers him further. He
glares at Christy, and then releases her. He turns to Joey
and Willy.
VINCE
Who gives a damn? Waste her.
Joey and Willy look a little unsure as Vince storms out of
the room.
INT. PLANE
The nuns are mesmerized by the bright skyline with its
colorful flashes of neon.
MARY PATRICK
It's so beautiful...
MARY ROBERT
And what a lovely name. Las Vegas...
MOTHER SUPERIOR
And Gommorah.
The plane sets down at the Vegas airport. Mother Superior
and the nuns climb out.
INT. BAR AREA
Joey and Willy find Vince near the bar.
Page 105.
VINCE
It's done?
JOEY
Not... totally.
VINCE
(disturbed)
What's the problem?
WILLY
She's... she's a nun.
VINCE
Are you nuts? She's not a nun. It's
Christy. She's a babe!
JOEY
But, Vince, how do you know she didn't
like, join up and become a nun when she
was in that convent?
VINCE
It didn't happen.
WILLY
She was real quiet and peaceful all the
way back in the car.
JOEY
No smart-ass remarks or nothing.
VINCE
I can't believe this. Okay, I want both
you guys to go back there, and both of
you shoot her at the same time.
JOEY
Yeah...
WILLY
Right. That way we'd never know which
bullet got to her brain and killed her
first. It could always be the other guy.
They all look happy with this solution as Joey and Willy
leave.
INT. STOREROOM
Christy still shows no signs of fear as Joey and Willy
take out their guns.
JOEY
Okay, we got one-two-three, and on three
we both shoot. Got it?
Page 106.
WILLY
Got it.
Joey points his gun at Christy's left temple, and Willy
points his gun at her right temple.
JOEY
One... two...
Christy closes her eyes.
JOEY
Three!
Neither man shoots. They look at each other with anger.
Christy opens her eyes.
JOEY
You didn't shoot!
WILLY
Neither did you!
JOEY
I figured if you were gonna, then I
wouldn't have to.
WILLY
That's what I figured, too.
EXT. LAS VEGAS HELIPORT
The nuns leave the terminal and stand on the sidewalk out
front.
MARY ROBERT
Las Vegas -- she's here somewhere.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
But where?
MARY PATRICK
Look! There she is!
Mary Patrick is pointing to a group of billboards that
feature huge ads for the local hotels and casinos. The
center billboard has a splashy picture of a roulette wheel,
the Elvis impersonator, and Christy and the Ronelles. The
bottom part of the billboard shows the name of the
Moonlight Casino and Lounge.
MARY ROBERT
The Little Sisters of the Moonlight!
MARY PATRICK
But how do we get there?
Page 107.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Stand back.
(she strides into the
road)
Taxi!
INT. CASINO
Once again, Joey and Willy find Vince.
VINCE
Well?
JOEY
It didn't work, Vince.
VINCE
You were both supposed to put your guns
to her head and shoot.
WILLY
We both missed.
VINCE
Okay, so the problem is still the nun
outfit, right?
JOEY
Right.
VINCE
So, take it off.
WILLY
(shocked)
Strip down a nun? You want us to fry?
JOEY
For like, twelve zillion eternities?
VINCE
I'm telling you, she's not a nun! Get
her out of the nun outfit, and put her in
some clothes.
JOEY
Maybe pants.
WILLY
A sweater.
JOEY
And then we can ice her. No nun, no
evil eye.
Joey and Willy are very confident about this solution.
They strut off, pleased with themselves.
Page 108.
EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - NIGHT
Eddie strides out of the airport; he took a later flight
than the nuns. A squad car is waiting; Clarkson beckons
him.
CLARKSON
Lieutenant!
Eddie jumps in the car. Clarkson turns on the red bubble
light and the SIREN, and the car zooms off.
INT. STORAGE ROOM - NIGHT
Joey and Willy return to the storage room, looking
confident of their mission this time. Christy glances up
at them as they enter, and Willy begins to untie her.
WILLY
We got it all worked out.
He works the ropes free, and Christy rubs her wrists to
get circulation back again.
JOEY
Okay, Christy -- strip.
CHRISTY
What?
JOEY
That... thing. That nun thing. Take it
off.
Christy suddenly drops to her knees and begins to pray.
WILLY
What's she doing?
JOEY
She's praying.
CHRISTY
And God bless Joey and Willy, who are
only trying to do their jobs.
(faking Latin)
Pox fibula tibia vobiscum. Et marcus
domino's pizza. Have mercy. Amen.
(she looks up at the
guys)
I'm finished now. Help me up.
As Joey and Willy bend down to help her up, Christy
suddenly grabs their neckties in each hand. With a fierce
jerk, she pulls the neckties with all her might, smashing
Joey's head against Willy's.
Page 109.
Stunned, Joey and Willy stagger backward, holding their
heads. Christy scrambles out the door while the two men
groan in pain.
INT. CORRIDOR
Joey and Willy burst out of the room with guns drawn. At
the far end of the corridor, they spot a glimpse of black
clothing as Christy starts down the stairs.
JOEY
There she goes! she's taking the stairs
I
They run quickly after her.
INT. STAIRWAY
Christy runs down the stairs as a SHOT rings out. Christy
screams and runs even faster.
INT. CASINO
A door swings open into the casino, and Christy appears,
looking frantic. A MUFFLED SHOT is heard behind her, and
she sprints into the casino.
Seconds later, Joey and Willy appear.
JOEY
Find Vince and tell him what happened.
I'll take this side of the room.
Willy hurries away to find Vince, and Joey starts
searching the crowd.
EXT. THE MOONLIGHT HOTEL AND CASINO
Three cabs ROAR up in front of the building and nuns
tumble out.
INT. CASINO ENTRANCE
The nuns enter the casino and stop dead in their tracks.
Before them is a large room filled with glitter and sin,
the SOUND of jackpots and crap tables.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Brace yourselves, Sisters.
In unison, the nuns all cross themselves.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Spread out and look for Mary Clarence.
Try to blend in.
The nuns spread to every part of the room, looking for
Christy.
Page 110.
INT. CASINO
A blackjack table; a game is in progress, with several
players. Mary Patrick rushes up to the table.
MARY PATRICK
Excuse me -- has anyone seen a nun?
MARY ROBERT
A Benedictine.
The CROUPIER and the players stare at the two nuns.
INT. CASINO
Christy is making her way past a roulette table.
Suddenly, she sees Joey coming toward her, making his way
through the crowd. Christy grabs the arm of a SALESMAN
playing roulette.
CROUPIER
Place your bets.
CHRISTY
(to the Salesman)
Red 21.
SALESMAN
You sure? How do you know?
Christy looks up to heaven.
SALESMAN
(to the Croupier)
Red 21.
Joey stands at the opposite side of the roulette table,
glaring at Christy. The crowd around the table watches
Christy for a moment, then they all put their chips down on
Red 21.
Joey starts working his way around the table toward
Christy as the Croupier spins the wheel. The ball falls
into a slot.
CROUPIER
Black 14.
Everyone at the table turns toward Christy, outraged. She
gives them a reprimanding look.
CHRISTY
Did you learn something?
Christy suddenly realizes that Joey is almost at her side.
She shoves the Salesman against him and runs away.
Page 111.
INT. CASINO
We see two long rows of slot machines, with gamblers
working every machine.
Willy appears at one end of the row, scanning the area for
Christy. He sees a nun crossing at the far end of the row,
and she moves out of sight. Willy heads in that direction.
Someone hits a JACKPOT behind him, and he turns toward the
sound. As he does. he sees another nun crossing at the
opposite end of the row of machines. Willy turns again --
now he sees three nuns crossing at the opposite end. He
looks confused, and doesn't know which way to turn.
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Eddie drives up in the squad car and parks near the back
door.
EDDIE
(to Clarkson)
Close off the block, but don't move in
till I tell you.
Eddie jumps out of the car and hurries inside.
INT. BLACKJACK AREA
As Christy moves past a blackjack game, she suddenly sees
Vince moving toward her. Turning quickly, she moves away
from Vince, but suddenly sees Joey coming toward her from
the opposite direction. Trapped for a moment, she has
panic in her eyes. Suddenly she is flanked by Mother
Superior and Mary Patrick.
CHRISTY
What are you doing here?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Saving you. Move!
The nuns surround Christy and head through the crowd in a
cluster. Joey and Vince pursue them from different
directions. Just before they catch them, Mother Superior
barks an order.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Break!
The nuns split up, each taking a different direction.
Vince and Joey look bewildered.
VINCE
Get her!
JOEY
Which one!
Page 112.
VINCE
The nun!
Vince, Joey and Willy each pick a nun and follow her.
Vince catches up to a nun, whom we only see from the rear.
He grabs her shoulder.
VINCE
Babe.
The nun spins around; it is Mother Superior.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Sweetheart.
Vince releases her and frantically searches the crowd
again.
Joey catches up with his nun, only to find it is Mary
Patrick. The shell game has worked; Christy has escaped
for the moment.
INT. SLOT MACHINE AREA
We FIND Eddie scanning the floor and seeing nuns spread
out everywhere. He talks quietly into his walkie-talkie.
EDDIE
Move in. Seal off the exits, but don't
come inside till I tell you.
INT. CASINO
Vince, Joey and Willy run into each other in the center of
the casino.
WILLY
There's nuns everywhere! Hundreds of
'em!
All the nuns suddenly come together, and see that the
exits are blocked by Vince and his hoods. Vince spots
Christy in the center of the group.
VINCE
There she is!
JOEY
Which one?
Christy sees Vince pointing at her.
CHRISTY
Quick, there's another way out of here.
Follow me.
Page 113.
Christy runs toward a set of glass doors set off to one
side. The other nuns follow her.
VINCE
She's heading for the lounge! Go!
Vince, Joey and Willy head for the lounge.
Across the room, Eddie sees Christy and the cluster of
nuns head through the glass doors. He barks into his
walkie-talkie.
EDDIE
Move in -- now!
INT. LOUNGE
The lounge is deserted between shows, and all the lights
are out. The mobsters enter with guns drawn.
JOEY
I can't see anything in here!
VINCE
Willy -- hit the lights.
WILLY
Where?
VINCE
Find 'em!
Willy moves off to find the light switch. There is a
flash of black and white fabric behind some chairs.
JOEY
There!
Before he can shoot, there is another
flash of fabric on the opposite side of
the room.
VINCE
(aiming)
No -- there!
And a third flash of fabric near the stage.
JOEY
Over there!
Willy has found the lights, and the lounge is suddenly
brightly lit. The mobsters blink for a moment, then find
all the nuns bunched together in a corner, trying to find
an exit.
VINCE
Freeze! Everybody!
Page 114.
The nuns turn and face the mobsters, shielding Christy.
VINCE
Joey?
JOEY
Where is she?
Christy steps forward, to the front of the stage.
CHRISTY
Right here. Let the others go -- they
have nothing to do with this.
VINCE
Joey -- do it.
JOEY
But, boss -- she's still, you know, a
nun.
VINCE
She's a broad! Got it! Just some
broad!
Mother Superior steps forward.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
(with authority)
I guarantee you, she is no broad. She
is Sister Mary Clarence, of St.
Katherine's Convent. She is a model of
generosity, virtue and love. You have my
word, gentlemen. She is a nun.
WILLY
Hear that? Now aren't you glad we
didn't shoot her?
Vince has had enough. Facing Christy, he raises the gun
and points it right between Christy's eyes, only inches
away. The nuns all recoil with horror.
BLAM! The gun goes off, but Christy isn't hit. She
blinks her eyes open, shocked to be alive. Instead, it's
Vince who falls, crumpling to the floor, and clutching his
shoulder.
Across the room, Eddie holds a smoking police revolver.
The nuns all swarm around Christy joyously.
MARY ROBERT
Mary Clarence -- you're alive!
MARY PATRICK
(smiling)
Christy.
Page 115.
MARY LAZARUS
(also smiling)
Van Cartier.
CHRISTY
You know? About me? About everything?
Christy breaks away from the jubilant nuns. She faces
Mother Superior.
CHRISTY
Reverend Mother -- Thank-you.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Oh?
CHRISTY
You saved my life.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
I'm a Christian.
Police pour into the room and gather up Joey, Willy and
Vince. Eddie walks over to Christy and Mother Superior.
EDDIE
Don't you have a concert to go to?
CHRISTY
That depends. Sisters, you don't know
this, but Reverend Mother's been making
all sorts of noises about resigning.
That's bad news. I don't know if we
could sing, if we thought that was true.
MARY ROBERT
Not a note.
MARY PATRICK
Impossible.
Mary Lazarus coughs, and points to her throat, as if she
has laryngitis. All the other nuns imitate her.
CHRISTY
(to Mother Superior)
Then I guess you're stuck. Life
sentence. No parole.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Very well.
(she turns to Eddie)
I hold you responsible for all of this,
For introducing a lounge act into my
convent. For utterly disrupting our way
of life. And for placing all of us in
mortal danger.
(sincerely, with a
smile)
Thank-you.
Page 116.
ANGLE on Christy, watching this. She grins.
CHRISTY
Yeah, Eddie, thanks a whole bunch.
Thanks for sticking me in a convent. So
you think, after all this, maybe I really
am a nun?
EDDIE
I don't know. There's only one way to
be absolutely sure.
CHRISTY
Yeah, like what?
Eddie takes Christy in his arms, and they begin a kiss.
As they do so, Vince struggles toward Christy, as two cops
hold him back. He is furious.
VINCE
I was good to you! You re nothing but
no-talent garbage! You're a two-bit
Tramp!
CHRISTY
(staring at Vince,
seeing him for the scum
that he is)
That used to be true, Vince. I was with
you. But something happened. And I'm
different now. Real--different. I've
had, well, you might call it -- a
religious experience. And I've got just
two words for you. And those two words
are...
MARY ROBERT
(afraid Christy will
curse)
Mary Clarence!
CHRISTY
(grinning, to Vince)
Bless you.
EXT. ST. MATTHEW'S CATHEDRAL
People are pouring into the cathedral. Among them we see
many Cardinals in their red uniforms.
INT. ST. MATTHEW'S CATHEDRAL
The choir has gathered together in a small room off the
main chapel. They are putting finishing touches on their
choral robes, and are waiting nervously to go on.
MARY PATRICK
(to Christy)
I just realized -- this is the last time
we'll all be together. We're going to
miss you so much.
Page 117.
Christy and Mary Patrick embrace. Mary Patrick is
tearful.
CHRISTY
Hey -- you re supposed to be the
cheerful one. Why do I suddenly feel
like Snow White?
MARY LAZARUS
(to Christy, with
humor)
You re okay -- for a civilian.
Christy and Mary Lazarus embrace.
MARY ROBERT
Reverend Mother?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Yes?
MARY ROBERT
Since Mary Clarence came to St.
Katherine's, I've been shot at, kidnapped
by Mafia hit men, and I've tasted beer.
Is that enough experience yet? For final
vows?
CHRISTY
I don't think so. What about skydiving?
A crank call to Billy Graham?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
You have evidenced great maturity, Mary
Robert. We shall have a serious
discussion.
CHRISTY
What about me, Reverend Mother? I think
you were right. I'm just a bad
influence. Sister show biz.
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Perhaps not. Perhaps we can all use...
a little Spandex.
CHRISTY
Really? And maybe shorter habits, and
women priests, and sleeping late?
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Don't push it.
Christy and Mother Superior embrace.
INT. CHAPEL
The chapel is packed to the rafters. The first few rows
of pews are occupied by Cardinals. Television cameras
glide up and down the aisles, angling for shots of the
altar.
Page 118.
The Choir stands together on the altar with Christy in
front. Behind them stands a much larger, all-city choir.
Christy gives the nod to Sister Alma, and the organ vamp
begins.
MARY ROBERT
I WAS DOWNHEARTED
CHRISTY
It's true!
MARY ROBERT
I WAS HELL-BOUND,
YES THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY
SATAN WAS WAITING
CHRISTY
Don't you know it!
MARY ROBERT
BUT THE LORD CAME TO ME
CHRISTY
What did He say?
MARY ROBERT
HE SAID, SING THE DEVIL AWAY!
MARY PATRICK
MY SOUL WAS IN DANGER
I'D FALLEN FROM GRACE
CHRISTY
It's true -- I know her.
MARY PATRICK
DAMNATION WAS ALL I COULD SEE
CHRISTY
What a shame!
MARY PATRICK
BUT THEN CAME AN ANGEL
WHO WHISPERED THESE WORDS
CHRISTY
Pay attention...
MARY PATRICK
SING AND THE DEVIL WILL FLEE!
CHRISTY
Were you wicked?
CHOIR
SING!
CHRISTY
Were you tempted?
CHOIR
SING!
SING AND YOUR SPIRIT WILL SOAR!
Page 119.
In the front row, Mother Superior is trying to resist the
music. She gives in, and starts bobbing her head to the
beat. Beside her, Eddie looks very proud as his eyes meet
Christy's.
CHRISTY
But I'm fearful!
CHOIR
SING!
CHRISTY
And I'm tearful!
CHOIR
SING!
CHRISTY
YES I'LL SING AND KNOW JOY EVERMORE
CHRISTY/CHOIR
DO YOUR TROUBLES BIND YOU
IF YOO'RE DEEP IN WOE
YOU CAN BANISH GLOOM IF YOU TRY
FIND A SONG WITHIN YOU
LET IT FILL YOUR DAYS
JUST SING
MARY ROBERT
SING!
CHOIR
JUST SING!
MARY PATRICK
SING!
MARY LAZARUS
JUST SING!
CHRISTY
Sing!
CHRISTY/CHOIR
SING AND SAY DEVIL, GOODBYE!
The entire congregation is ecstatic, as the song concludes
with a glorious final flourish.
FADE OUT:
THE END
