MOON
Written by
Nathan Parker
Story by
Duncan Jones
November, 2007
Helium3 is a gas ejected from the surface of the sun and
blown through space by solar winds.
It plays an essential role in Cold Fusion, often toted as
the solution to humanity's future energy needs.
There is one major problem...
Helium3 is extremely scarce on Earth. The gas does,
however, exist in abundance on the Earth's only natural
satellite:
The Moon.
Should we turn to Cold Fusion in the future, it is
conceivable that man will mine the Moon for Helium3 and
bring the precious gas back to Earth...
2.
IN THE BLACK:
We hear something -- a machine -- CHURNING and POUNDING.
Constant. Rhythmic. Though the sound is slightly familiar,
we're not sure what it is yet. Hold for a few seconds and
then
CUT TO:
1 INT. REC ROOM -- MORNING 1
The sound belongs to a regular old TREADMILL like you see
in most gyms across the world. Running on it: SAM BELL, mid
thirties, thick beard, handsome, striking blue eyes.
Sam's face is flushed and glistening with sweat. He lunges
for a towel draped over the treadmill's bar, dabs his face
as he runs.
We see OUTSIDE THE WINDOW: A gray, powdery landscape
stretching beneath a BLACK SKY.
CUT TO:
2 EXT. MOON -- MORNING 2
Aerial view of the Earth's only natural satellite, the
camera roaming about a hundred feet off the surface.
Desolation. Serious, uncompromising, desolation. This place
makes Antarctica look like Tokyo.
And utter silence.
Eventually the camera arrives at a moon base, DIVING DOWN
towards it --
TITLE CARD: "MINING BASE SELENE. CREW: 1."
CUT TO:
3 INT. BATHROOM\SHOWER -- MORNING 3
Sam takes a shower, treading in a tight circle beneath the
nozzle, eyes closed, hot water blasting his face.
3.
4 INT. COMMS ROOM 4
His hair still wet from the shower, Sam sits before a COMMS
UNIT, dressed in a "Lunar Industries" boiler suit, a zip up
the front, colorful patches sewn into the arms. He begins
to record a message.
SAM
Tess. Hi. It's me. How are you,
sweetheart? It's the morning
here. In a few minutes Gerty and
I will sit down for breakfast, go
over the day's itinerary.
As Sam continues his message, we are given a TOUR of the
mining base. Beginning with:
5 INT. MONITORING STATION 5
This is where you want to be if the shit hits the fan. The
base's equivalent of HQ. A wall of computers and flickering
digital displays.
SAM (V.O.)
Today begins my 154th week on
Selene. I officially have two
weeks to go before I climb into
that Return Vehicle...
6 INT. RETURN VEHICLE 6
A small space craft attached to the base. It is essentially
a tiny room with a coffin like, sealed bed in the middle of
it: a cryogenic POD with an array of complicated controls
surrounding it.
SAM (V.O.)
And blast home.
7 INT. REC ROOM 7
Sam spends most of his time here. It is kitchen and play
room combined. We PICK OUT a television set, an armchair, a
Ping-Pong table, the treadmill.
SAM (V.O.)
I never dreamed I'd make it this
far.
4.
DETAIL: A WOODEN MODEL
On a table, we also PICK OUT a LARGE MODEL carved out of
BOLSER WOOD. It's a TOWN. Intricately done down to the
tiniest details.
SAM (V.O.) (CONT'D)
There were times, as you know...
We go even CLOSER to the model, seeing that there are
actual people, actual characters in the little town; actual
buildings: a CHURCH, a TOWN HALL, etc. Clearly someone has
put a ton of work into this thing.
SAM (V.O.) (CONT'D)
...when I thought I was going to
crack up.
8 INT. GREENHOUSE 8
And the tour of the base continues. Onto a new room. A dark
storage area Sam has repurposed to grow a handful of
plants. They sit surrounded by darkness, glowing under
pools of artificial light.
SAM (V.O.)
But I think I've come out the
other side now.
9 INT. INFIRMARY 9
A strange angular room, obviously purposeful, but its
design more geared to a computer than a human being. A
single bed dominates.
SAM (V.O.)
In many ways, this place is all
about contradictions.
10 EXT. LUNAR LANDSCAPE 10
The empty terrain surrounding the mining base, as viewed
from the Monitoring Station window. Across the landscape a
mountain rises from the morning shadows.
SAM (V.O.)
It's bleak, it's beautiful.
CLOSE UP -- A HAND TOOL
Some kind of rake or shovel half buried in the powdery
soil, like a child's toy abandoned in a sand box.
5.
SAM (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It's barren, yet filled with
riches.
11 EXT. EARTH -- AS SEEN FROM THE MOON 11
From up here it is easy to see why the Earth is sometimes
referred to as "the blue marble." A swirl of color.
SAM (V.O.)
The earth is thousands and
thousands of miles away, but
sometimes looks so close I feel
like I could reach out and snatch
it with my hand.
12 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS 12
Sam's bed -- A New York Jets poster on the wall -- a few
knickknacks bedside, rock samples in jars, a lucky
tambourine Sam got in Mexico some years ago -- a red stress
ball -- a photograph by the bed in a frame --
SAM (V.O.)
I'm incredibly lonely, yet I'm
never alone...
We MOVE CLOSER to the PHOTO by the bed.
PHOTOGRAPH
Of a slightly younger and clean-shaven Sam with his arms
wrapped around his wife of four years, TESS BELL.
SAM (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Because I have you.
Tess is a far cry from the stereotypical Astronaut's Wife
of the 1960's/70's with the plastic smile and beehive
hairdo.
Tess is modern, sophisticated, and jaw-droppingly
beautiful. She looks like she'd be a hard woman to leave
behind.
Note: In the photograph Tess is visibly PREGNANT.
SAM (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And I have Eve. I don't take you
guys for granted. You know that
now.
6.
13 INT. COMMS ROOM 13
Back with Sam at the Comms Unit as he wraps up the message.
SAM
Please kiss Eve for me. And tell
her daddy will only be away a
little longer -- seventeen days
longer, approximately. I love you
both dearly. Bye.
And he sends the message.
CUT TO:
14 INT. CORRIDOR 14
The main corridor connecting the different rooms. We've
seen everything there is to see now. The base is small.
Confined. Claustrophobic. It is easy to imagine how someone
could crack up here.
Sam leaves the Comms Room and heads down the corridor.
15 INT. REC ROOM 15
A state of the art robot, a GERTY 3000 -- known simply as
"GERTY" -- is preparing Sam's breakfast.
Gerty is in three sections and moves along a horizontal
rail that runs throughout the base. He has a readout screen
that perpetually spews data. His hands resemble pincers,
but are perfectly nimble.
For the purposes of helping run the base and looking after
Sam, Gerty is as good as human, if not better.
Sam enters.
SAM
Morning, Gerty.
GERTY
Morning, Sam. How are you today?
SAM
Fine. Fine. You?
GERTY
I'm very well. How's your
headache?
7.
SAM
Much better, thanks, pal.
Sam treats Gerty more like a person than a robot. Whether
this is down to Gerty's intelligence or Sam's desperation
for company isn't clear just yet.
Note: Gerty talks like a well-educated older man. His
language doesn't have a great deal of inflection (i.e.
Monotone) but he is friendly enough.
Sam switches a dial on a radio but gets nothing but static -
- he sticks in a mini cd and skips the first few tracks.
We hear brief clips of talk radio and shuttle through it
before he allows it to play on, on some random American
station -- an old weather report:
VOICE ON RADIO
...it's a hot one on the East
Coast, temperatures soaring to a
high of ninety three degrees in
New York City --
They zip around the tiny kitchen, together preparing Sam's
breakfast, working as a team.
CUT TO:
16 EXT. MOON 16
We take in the whole Moon at once. Gray, colorless, eerie.
From this distance the surface resembling Plaster of Paris.
17 INT. MONITORING STATION -- DAY 17
Sam sits before Selene's main computer, known as THE OLD
MAN. Data flickering off Sam's face. He is making a log
entry. A CLOCK is running on the monitor.
SAM
8:32 Pacific Time. Lunar Day 1.
All Harvesters running smoothly
this morning. Readouts are as
follows: Matthew, 14.6 miles;
Mark 16.8 miles...
Sam continues with his entry while we
CUT TO:
8.
18 INT. STORAGE CUBBY 18
Gerty is selecting food for the up-coming week, stacking
ready-meals on a small fork-lift buggy.
CUT TO:
19 INT. MONITORING STATION 19
A RED LIGHT
Pulsing rapidly. The "ping-ping-ping" of an alarm.
BOARD
Sam stands before the Big Board. The names of the four
Harvesters (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) in a collum. The red
light is flashing next to Matthew.
Sam presses an INTERCOM BUTTON, dips down, speaks into it.
SAM
Gerty, we've got a live one on
Mark. I'm going out now to rope
her in.
GERTY'S VOICE
Okay, Sam.
Sam heads off.
20 INT. CHANGING AREA 20
A SPACE SUIT
Resembling an unmanned puppet. Sam begins to insinuate his
body into the suit.
21 INT. DOCK 21
Three Rovers (moon buggies) parked in their separate bays.
The Rovers are caked in lunar soil, as though sand blasted.
In his space suit Sam bends into one of the Rovers, starts
the engine.
9.
22 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE 22
Sam drives along, dwarfed by an enormous lunar bolder and
the rising slopes of the valley beyond. A toy car in this
vast and alien terrain.
23 EXT. HARVESTER/MOON SURFACE 23
The second in a fleet of four Harvesters (this one known as
Mark) collecting lunar soil. The Harvester resembles a tank
and kicks up clouds of dust. Booming, hulking, efficient.
Sam catches up in his Rover and accelerates into the back
of the Harvester up a couple of ramps. An intricate and
dangerous maneuver he executes deftly.
24 INT. HARVESTER/BELLY -- CONTINUOUS 24
Sam is in an area of the Harvester -- a kind of hatch --
not dissimilar to a garage and known as THE BELLY. Once
safely inside Sam closes the door. He is able to breathe in
the Belly without his helmet, which he duly removes.
Sam steps up to a wall of computers. A light is flashing to
indicate one of the pods is filled with Helium3.
Sam does his thing, eventually removing a keg-size pod of
Helium3. He hauls it over to the Rover and sticks it in a
special slot in the equivalent of the Rover's trunk.
A new pod -- an empty -- replaces the pod Sam just removed.
Sam puts his helmet back on, returns to the Rover, reverses
out of the Harvester carefully.
25 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE 25
Sam snakes through the soil on his way back to base, the
tracks of the Rover as sharp as if they had been made
through talcum powder. The Harvester churns into the
distance.
CUT TO:
26 INT. CORRIDOR -- LATER 26
Sam loads the filled pod into a CARGO CONTAINER. The Cargo
Container is about the size of a fridge and can take a
maximum of five pods. There are four pods already inside,
Sam's new pod taking up the fifth and final slot.
10.
27 INT. COMMS ROOM 27
Sam is seated at the Comms Unit recording a message for his
superiors back on Earth.
SAM
Sam Bell reporting to Central.
10:14 Pacific Time. Lunar Day 1.
(less formal)
Overmeyers, Thompson? It's Sam.
How goes it? I've got a full
container of Helium3 ready to
roll. The purity is pretty good,
so assuming your last market
prices are still relevant I think
you are looking at getting about
3 million dollars per kilo with
this load. By the time this
message reaches you it should be
in transit.
(a beat)
Otherwise, everything running
smoothly. There was a discrepancy
between a couple of the N3000
modulators a couple of days ago,
but Gerty and I caught it in
time, no big deal. Uh...how are
things down there?
Sam desperately wants to talk but has nothing very
important to say. Then he remembers something.
SAM (CONT'D)
Oh, and I just wanted to thank
you for sending out the football
feed. Almost felt live!
(getting pissed off)
Seriously, I don't mean to be an
asshole, but surely replacing one
satellite cant be that fucking
hard! I haven't been able to
have a conversation with my
wife... My kid can talk now...!
Fuck!
Sam concentrates, getting a grip on his temper.
Two weeks. Two weeks.
(beat)
Hey. Three years is a long haul.
If you guys want to run some
psych evals on me when I get
back, I'm happy to do it. It
ain't Disney World up here.
(a beat)
That's it. Over and out.
11.
Sam reaches forward, sends the message.
CUT TO:
28 INT. CORRIDOR -- DAY 28
Sam is loading the Cargo Container into the base's MAGLEV
LAUNCHER. He works with a sense of routine, far away,
preoccupied.
All of a sudden Sam STOPS. He has the feeling someone is
standing behind him. He slowly turns.
A GIRL is standing in the doorway watching him. She is
perhaps fifteen or sixteen years old. A yellow dress. Long,
wheat-colored hair. Freckles. At once beautiful and
haunting.
Sam gets the FRIGHT of his life. He FLIES against the wall.
WIDEN to reveal Sam and the Girl facing off. Sam POP-EYED
and SHAKING. The Girl IMMOBILE, arms at her sides, head
tilted ever so slightly to one side.
The Cargo Container is sent hurtling through space. A
TERRIFIC BLAST. It distracts Sam's attention, breaks his
stare...
And just like that, the Girl is gone. Sam is just staring
at an empty doorway. Nothing there.
Sam is baffled. Had to be his imagination. Had to be. After
a few seconds he shakes his head dismissively and continues
working.
CUT TO:
29 INT. REC ROOM -- DAY 29
Gerty is cutting Sam's hair.
Sam sitting back in a chair, barber shop style, while the
robot snip-snip-snips away with a pair of scissors. Sam is
gently squeezing a STRESS BALL in his right hand.
GERTY
Sam, is everything okay?
SAM
Everything's fine, Gerty.
For a moment there is no sound but the snipping scissors,
reminiscent of keys snapping on a typewriter. Then:
12.
SAM (CONT'D)
Why do you ask?
GERTY
You don't seem like yourself
today.
Sam frowns, contemplative. For a moment we think he is
going to tell Gerty about the Girl he saw earlier -- or
imagined he saw. But he goes with something different.
SAM
It's Tess.
GERTY
Has something happened?
SAM
No, not exactly.
Gerty stops cutting, lowers the scissors.
GERTY
Sam, what is it?
SAM
Something doesn't feel right,
that's all.
A beat. Sam's fingers twitching around the red stress ball,
squeezing harder.
GERTY
Sam, it might help to talk about
it.
Sam decides to come clean.
SAM
Tess isn't responding to things.
GERTY
Tess isn't responding to things?
SAM
Right.
GERTY
What kind of things?
SAM
(a beat)
A couple of weeks ago I asked her
if she wanted to go on vacation
when I get back, and that I was
thinking of either Mexico or
Hawaii.
(MORE)
13.
SAM (CONT'D)
Tess never said anything about
it. Three messages she's sent me
since...and she's never once
mentioned the vacation.
GERTY
Im sure she can't wait, Sam.
SAM
That's not the point. This is
someone who lives for vacations
and travelling. I thought she'd
jump at the chance for us to go
away -- with Eve, of course --
we'd take Eve.
GERTY
Perhaps Tess didn't receive the
message?
SAM
(as if anticipating
Gerty's comment)
But this isn't the only time it's
happened, Gerty. When I asked her
how her dad was doing on his new
heart medicine she didn't respond
to that -- I asked her when Eve
was going to start nursery --
nothing. Had her brother got the
position at the University?
Nothing. Nothing.
Sam is really having a go at the stress ball now.
GERTY
I think her brother did get the
position at the University. His
name is Christopher, correct?
SAM
He did?
GERTY
Yes, I seem to recall he got the
position. Professor of
Biochemistry, I think. At
Syracuse University in New York?
Sam is slightly alarmed that Gerty knows this and he
doesn't.
SAM
How do you know that?
14.
GERTY
You told me. Some time ago now.
Towards the beginning of your
time on Selene. When we were
starting to get to know each
other.
(a beat)
You were very happy for your
brother-in-law. You danced around
the Rec Room, if I remember
correctly.
Sam looks perturbed. For a few seconds he'd eased up on the
stress ball. He starts up on it again now.
SAM
Gerty, have you heard anything
new about anyone fixing lunar
sat?
GERTY
No Sam. From what I understand
it's fairly low on the companies
priority list with the Jupiter
mission active. I would imagine
it would be very expensive to
fix.
A pause. Sam still looks troubled.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Sam, are you ok?
SAM
They need to sort that out.
Seriously. I've only got two
weeks left. It's not fair on
whoever's up here next. Gerty,
you tell them to sort it out.
It's not healthy.
GERTY
I will Sam. Do you want me to
finish cutting your hair later?
SAM
Nah. Come on. Let's finish
this.
Gerty resumes cutting Sam's hair, and stops again, sensing
Sam is going to say something more.
The scissors freeze.
15.
SAM (CONT'D)
I've got another one of those
headaches. Can you get me
something for it?
GERTY
Of course. Now?
SAM
No not now, afterwards.
The scissors start up again.
SAM (CONT'D)
Thanks, pal.
CUT TO:
30 INT. REC ROOM -- LATER 30
Sam with a HAIRCUT and a neatly TRIMMED BEARD is sitting
before the Bolser Wood model of the little town.
He is arched over working away with an EXACTO BLADE --
SQUINTING -- whittling a figure out of wood. This is
difficult and complicated work, and over three years Sam
has become highly skilled at it.
Sam can carve an actual person out of wood -- actual
cheekbones, actual throats, actual hands -- it's
fascinating to watch.
From another room Sam hears the "ping-ping-ping" of an
alarm.
CUT TO:
31 INT. COMMS ROOM -- CONTINUOUS 31
CLOSE UP -- COMMS UNIT
Flashing on the comms unit monitor: "NEW TRANSMISSION."
There is a small icon of a telephone.
CUT TO:
32 INT. REC ROOM -- CONTINUOUS 32
ON SAM
He carefully puts down the wooden figure and the exacto
blade -- stands and leaves the Rec Room.
16.
33 INT. COMMS ROOM 33
Sam sits at the comms unit watching a message from his
superiors, OVERMEYERS and THOMPSON, a purposeful looking
woman in charge and her earnest second.
The two talk RAPIDLY and trade off like a tag team. At
times their tone can be almost bizarrely whimsical.
Overmeyers and Thompson seem to have known Sam for a while,
but even so, there is a practised casualness to the
repartee. It's a professional friendliness on Overmeyers
part, no more and for Thompson it's merely an eagerness to
be involved.
OVERMEYERS
Delighted to hear about the
latest shipment, Sam.
THOMPSON
According to Albatross 90 it
should be landing off the
California Coast within the next
three days.
OVERMEYERS
Now in response to your question
about the communications
equipment, the news is not good.
THOMPSON
Sam, those solar storms did a lot
more damage than initially
thought --
OVERMEYERS
Fixing the lunar sat is going to
take some time. It's a
significant operation.
THOMPSON
And what with the Jupiter Program
hemorrhaging money --
Sam curses to himself.
OVERMEYERS
Lunar doesn't have the budget it
once did, Sam, you know that.
THOMPSON
Even the coffee machine down in
the Hub has been broken since I
don't know when --
17.
OVERMEYERS
We have to go to Genesis 3 just
to get a decent cup of coffee,
Sam. Genesis 3. That's three
buildings over.
THOMPSON
We're hoping to get the live feed
up and running by the Fall. The
good news is you'll be home by
then, Sam.
OVERMEYERS
You only have two weeks to go!
Congrat--
Sam shuts off the message before Overmeyers can pipe out
his last line.
Sam sits before the dead screen -- eyes closed -- taking a
succession of DEEP BREATHS.
CUT TO:
34 INT. REC ROOM -- DAY 34
Sam playing Ping-Pong. He has folded up the second half of
the table and is using it as a wall. The sound is rapid and
rhythmic: ca-cluck ca-cluck ca-cluck. Sam taking his
FRUSTRATION out on the little white ball.
CUT TO:
35 INT. BATHROOM -- DAY 35
Sam stands before the toilet urinating. Rather ironically
he is whistling I'm Walking on Sunshine -- focussed ahead
at his reflection in the mirror -- angling his face,
admiring his haircut, his beard.
Then he looks down to flush the toilet and his WHISTLING
abruptly STOPS.
36 INT. BATHROOM\TOILET 36
It looks like someone just poured a glass of CRANBERRY
JUICE into the toilet bowl. Literally. The red urine
clouding the water like a squirt of octopus ink. Yeah, Sam
just pissed blood.
There is a "PING!" and Gerty's voice crackles from the
intercom.
18.
GERTY'S VOICE
Sam, a transmission has arrived
from your wife.
Sam reaches over and presses the INTERCOM BUTTON.
SAM
Be right there.
And he flushes the toilet.
CUT TO:
37 INT. COMMS ROOM -- DAY 37
Sam sitting before the monitor. He hits the "PLAY" button,
begins watching the message.
ON THE MONITOR: Tess is sitting in a living room talking to
Sam. Tess has a sweet voice, she sounds grounded, like
she's got a head on her shoulders.
TESS
Hi Sam. It's me. How are you?
(a beat)
I got your last message, it was
really great to hear your voice.
I know you've been really lonely
up there, but in a lot of ways
it's been good for you, I think.
I hope you don't mind me saying
that. I'm proud of you.
(a beat)
Hey, someone's got something to
say.
A WOMAN, possibly a nanny or some form of hired help,
swings a LITTLE GIRL into Tess's arms. This is EVE, Sam and
Tess's daughter.
TESS (CONT'D)
Eve, it's daddy. What did you
want to say to him?
Eve just stares. Tess whispers to her ("Remember what we
practiced", etc.) Finally Eve attempts:
EVE
Asstraut.
TESS
Who's an astronaut?
(encouraging)
Go on!
19.
EVE
Daddy asstraut!
Tess laughs. So does Sam.
TESS
That's right, daddy's an
astronaut. Clever girl!
Eve fidgets, rubs her nose, distracted.
TESS (CONT'D)
She's shy. Uh, Cathy, could
you...?
The Maid steps in, hoists Eve away. Tess waits until
they're out of earshot.
TESS (CONT'D)
It's her birthday next month. I
thought we'd get her a play house
for the garden. We could even
pick it out together.
A pause. Tess just stares into the camera. She is hundreds
and thousands of miles away, but for a second it feels like
she's right there in the Comms Room with Sam. It's
intimate.
She finally shakes her head, self-conscious, shy.
TESS (CONT'D)
God, I hate these things. Sam, I
love you. I'm thinking of you
always. I can't wait to see you,
sweetheart. Okay. Bye.
And the message ends.
ON SAM: smiling, on the brink of tears.
CUT TO:
38 EXT. THE EARTH -- NIGHT/LATER 38
The Earth at night, illuminated by a glittering spider's
web of artificial lighting. From the Moon this is one of
the most beautiful sights you'll ever see.
39 INT. REC ROOM -- SAME 39
Sam is in improved spirits. He pours himself a glass of
juice as Gerty prepares dinner.
20.
SAM
What's on the menu tonight,
Gerty?
GERTY
Baby back ribs with french fries
and spinach.
SAM
Ribs! Good choice, pal. Fine
choice.
It might be baby back ribs with french fries and spinach,
but it's made from a packet by adding hot water. Nasty.
Sam sits down with the packet. Digs in with a fork.
SAM (CONT'D)
Oh yeah! Compliments to the chef,
Gerty, this is delicious!
Sam eating ravenously.
CUT TO:
40 INT. GREENHOUSE -- NIGHT 40
Sam is in the Greenhouse pruning plants with a pair of
secateurs. He treads up the aisles slowly, taking time with
each of the plants. CLASSICAL MUSIC plays over the sound
system, Brahms, Beethoven, Bartok, one of the B's.
Sam HUMS along to the music. A man at peace.
CUT TO:
41 INT. REC ROOM -- NIGHT/LATER 41
Sam is working on his wooden model of the town. Across the
room the Ed Sullivan Show is on TV. Ed's guest is a very
young Goldie Hawn.
Note: Whenever any TV is watched in the film, it is always
a show from 1970's America. (Mash, Six Million Dollar Man,
Laugh-In, etc.) No explanation is given for this.
Sam is half-watching the TV, but his focus is chiefly on
the SMALL HOUSE he is carving. And carving beautifully.
After a few seconds he stands and snaps off the TV with a
remote. He crosses to the kitchen section of the Rec Room
to make some tea. The water has just boiled.
As Sam is about to pour the boiling water, tea kettle in
hand, he glances across the Rec Room and sees:
21.
The Girl. She's taken Sam's chair before the model. She is
motionless, staring down at the model like she recognizes
one of the little figures walking the tiny streets.
Sam calmly puts the tea kettle down and begins to move
towards the Girl, slowly, cautiously, like he wants to
sneak up on her.
Sam walks right up to the Girl and reaches out his hand...
SAM
And then we CUT to Sam standing in the kitchen. Over by the
model there is no sign of the Girl. The chair is empty.
She's gone. Her sitting there, Sam's walk across the room --
apparently he imagined it all.
Sam looks down. The tea kettle is dangling at an angle and
BOILING WATER is DRIBBLING onto his left hand.
Simultaneously: Sam SNAPS his hand AWAY, Sam SCREAMS. The
tea kettle CLATTERS to the floor.
Sam HURRIES to the sink and jerks his hand under a stream
of cold water. Cursing under his breath the whole time:
"Shit, piss, fuck..."
CUT TO:
42 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 42
Sam sits in a chair as Gerty tends to his scolded left
hand. It's a nasty burn.
SAM
I'm going to feel that for a
while, aren't I, Gerty?
(then)
Damn it.
Gerty applies a translucent balm to the burn.
GERTY
Sam, can I ask how it happened?
SAM
I told you, I saw something on
the TV and spilled boiling water
on my hand.
GERTY
You saw something on the TV?
22.
SAM
(a touch petulant)
Yeah, something on the TV
distracted me, Gerty, what's
wrong with that?
A pause. Gerty is wrapping Sam's hand with a bandage.
GERTY
Sam, you said it was the TV that
distracted you, but when I came
in the TV wasn't on.
Gerty has caught him out. Sam knows it.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Perhaps you were imagining
things?
Gerty has hit the nail on the head, in a way that makes Sam
feel a little uneasy. Is there something Gerty knows that
Sam doesn't?
CUT TO:
43 INT. THE SLEEPING QUARTERS -- NIGHT 43
Sam asleep in bed.
44 SAM'S DREAM 44
Sam making love to Tess. We remain very close to their
bodies in bed. The background a blur. No sound. It's all
flesh and white sheets. Sensual, delicate, intense. We feel
almost intrusive watching.
45 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS -- MORNING 45
Sam wakes up and lunges across the bed to shut off his
alarm clock. We notice a WHITE BANDAGE on the hand that he
scolded.
Afterwards: Sam lies back, watching the ceiling, groggy,
reflective, still surfacing from his dream.
And then OVER THIS: The sound from the opening of the film,
THE TREADMILL, and we
CUT TO:
46 INT. REC ROOM -- MORNING 46
Sam on his morning run.
23.
47 INT. REC ROOM -- MORNING/LATER 47
Gerty is making breakfast. Sam enters, fresh from the
shower.
SAM
Morning, Gerty.
GERTY
Morning, Sam. How are you today?
SAM
Fine. Fine.
GERTY
How's the hand?
SAM
It's a little sore.
Gerty pops the radio on. Just another morning on Selene.
CUT TO:
48 INT. MONITORING STATION -- MORNING/LATER 48
Sam sitting before The Old Man doing his daily log entry. A
CLOCK is running on the monitor.
SAM
8:19 Pacific Time. Lunar Day 2.
Readouts are as follows: Matthew,
9.8 Miles...
Suddenly the monitor BLIPS -- a BLAST of STATIC -- and Sam
SEES himself talking on the monitor. It appears to be a
previous log entry.
SAM (CONT'D)
Luke...7.3 miles...wow, better
look into Luke...
But bizarrely, the Sam talking on the monitor has long hair
pulled back into a ponytail -- and no beard --
And then another BLIP -- another BLAST of STATIC -- and
the screen turns completely BLACK.
A single word begins to flash in the center of the screen:
"ERROR."
The word flashes three times -- before the screen returns
to normal, the CLOCK running again.
24.
It all happened so quickly Sam wonders if he didn't just
imagine it. After an awkward pause he simply continues the
original log entry.
SAM (CONT'D)
Mark, 11 miles on the button...
CLOSE UP -- RED LIGHT
Pulsing. Going "ping-ping-ping."
49 INT. MONITORING STATION -- LATER/MORNING 49
Sam stands across the room with a mug of coffee, peers up
at the Big Board, sees that the alarm belongs to Matthew.
He crosses to the INTERCOM, speaks into it.
SAM
Gerty, looks like we've got a
live one out on Matthew. I
wondered what was taking him so
long, the old fart. I'm heading
out in a few minutes, just going
to finish my coffee.
GERTY'S VOICE
Okay, Sam.
CUT TO:
50 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE -- MORNING 50
Sam at the wheel in his space suit, speeding towards the
first of the Harvesters, known as MATTHEW.
HARVESTER/MATTHEW
As Sam gets closer to the Harvester, he suddenly sees
something:
The Girl.
She is standing maybe a hundred yards away in her yellow
dress, resembling a FLAME or a FLOWER in the barren and
colorless landscape. She appears to be staring directly at
Sam's rover.
SAM
His face unfolding with panic, alarm, curiosity. An
intense, yearning, curiosity.
25.
He drives closer.
But like in a dream, Sam can't seem to make up any distance
between the Rover and the Girl. He CRUSHES the accelerator
peddle.
For a moment Sam drives right alongside the Harvester,
clouds of lunar dust being kicked up, cascading against the
side window. But Sam is looking away from the Harvester,
focussed on the Girl.
ON SAM: He doesn't notice Matthew (The Harvester) suddenly
veer RIGHT, slamming into the side of the Rover and causing
Sam to lose control.
The steering wheel swings left and right as Sam desperately
tries to STRAIGHTEN the path of the vehicle, but a split
second later the Rover is FLIPPED like a matchbox, and SPUN
into the path of the Harvester -- a HIDEOUS SCREECH of
MANGLED METAL -- the Rover gobbled up by the front of the
Harvester, DEVOURED.
The Rover is JAMMED under the Harvester's monstrous AXLE,
resembling a crushed beer can in a fist -- and with a BIG,
BOOMING GROAN the Harvester slides to a STANDSTILL.
WIDE SHOT: Silence. The Harvester stationary. The Rover
caught beneath it.
No sign of the Girl.
CUT TO:
BLACK.
Silence. Hold it for five seconds and then
51 A BLUR 51
Eyelids fluttering, bright light, at first broken up,
filtered, as if viewed through a Kaleidoscope. Slowly
shapes and impressions begin to form and we know where we
are.
It's the Infirmary.
52 INT. INFIRMARY -- DAY 52
A CLEAN SHAVEN and drugged-up Sam is sitting up in bed,
propped with a pillow. Sam doesn't have a scratch on his
face, but has clearly been through a terrifying ordeal.
Gerty is bedside.
26.
SAM
Where am I?
GERTY
Sam, you're in the Infirmary. You
had an accident.
Sam looks bewildered -- he desperately racks his brain,
trying to locate the memory.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Do you remember what happened?
SAM
No.
(a beat)
I don't remember a thing.
Sam just stares back at Gerty, not so much as a flicker of
recognition.
GERTY
Do you remember me?
SAM
Yes, of course I remember you,
Gerty.
GERTY
That's good. That's very good.
It's nice to see you awake again.
(a beat)
I'd like to keep you under
observation here in the Infirmary
for a few days and run some
tests.
A pause. Sam taking it all in. Eventually:
SAM
How long have I been out?
GERTY
Not long. Sam, go back to sleep.
You're still very tired. We can
talk later.
Sam closes his eyes, sinking deeper into his pillow.
CUT TO:
53 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 53
Sam asleep in bed. Gerty is scanning his head with a small
instrument resembling a camcorder.
27.
There are READOUTS on a monitor showing blood flow, oxygen
levels and glucose metabolism in the tissues of Sam's
brain.
CUT TO:
54 EXT. MOON -- DAY 54
LUKE, one of the Harvesters, crossing the lunar landscape
at HALF SPEED.
55 INT. INFIRMARY 55
Sam wakes up from an extended nap. He thrusts his fists
into his eyes like a child, yawns ferociously.
SAM
Gerty?
No sign of the robot. Sam is feeling well enough to walk.
He swings his legs out of bed, begins to plod around the
room. He is tentative at first, slow, as if walking is
something he is having to learn from scratch.
Eventually when he is moving fluidly he goes to the door
and pokes his head out into the corridor.
56 INT. CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS 56
Sam peers around. From another room he can hear the faint
drone of VOICES. One of these voices belongs to Gerty. The
other voices are deeper, faster, human.
SAM
Gerty?
The voices continue. Intrigued, Sam PRESSES ON down the
corridor.
ON SAM
As he walks up the corridor in the direction of the Comms
Room. Sam is close enough now that he can actually hear the
conversation.
Sam arrives at the door of the Comms Room and peers in.
GERTY (0.S)
These were extraordinary
circumstances, as you know --
28.
57 INT. COMMS ROOM -- CONTINUOUS 57
Gerty is installed at the Comms Unit. Thompson and
Overmeyers are on the screen.
The moment Gerty sees Sam he shuts off the monitor and the
screen fizzes to black, Thompson and Overmeyers vanishing.
Strange: Gerty appeared to have a live feed.
GERTY
Sam, you're out of bed.
SAM
I wanted to stretch my legs.
(then)
What was that?
GERTY
Not talking. No. We've been
having some problems with the
lunar sat and our live feed seems
to be down. I was recording a
video message for Central
updating them on your progress.
(a beat)
Sam, you need to stay in bed.
You're not ready to walk around
yet.
Sam nods vaguely, turns around and heads back to the
Infirmary slowly.
CUT TO:
58 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 58
Sam watching TV -- The Muppet Show, the "Pigs in Space"
sketch -- and eating dinner. He's not laughing.
59 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 59
Sam hunched over the infirmary's stainless steel wash basin
giving himself a shave. He hits the razor on the side of
the basin -- tap tap tap -- like a conductor with a baton.
CUT TO:
60 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 60
Sam is seated at a table. Frankly he looks better now than
he did before the accident.
29.
Perhaps it's the rosy hue of his freshly shaven face. He
certainly looks younger. A man revitalized, a man mended.
Gerty is giving Sam something very similar to an IQ Test.
Sam has just arranged a series of blocks into an L-shaped
tower.
GERTY
Excellent, Sam.
SAM
How much longer do I have to be
in here, Gerty?
GERTY
Sam, you suffered minor brain
damage in the crash. This has
resulted in memory loss and
slight logic impairment.
SAM
When can I get back to work?
GERTY
Central has asked me to slow down
the Harvesters to ensure you have
time to recuperate and get your
strength back --
SAM
(dryly, exasperated)
Terrific.
GERTY
The good news is you can return
to the sleeping quarters
tomorrow. But it will still be a
few more days before you can
resume anything like a normal
work schedule.
Sam's face taught with irritation. He isn't happy.
Gerty gives him the next puzzle to solve. WE MOVE IN ON
SAM'S LEFT HAND as he takes the puzzle, the same hand he
scolded in an earlier scene.
The BANDAGE is GONE and the BURN appears to have completely
HEALED.
CUT TO:
61 INT. CORRIDOR -- DAY 61
Sam walking down the corridor in the direction of the
Sleeping Quarters. He stops at a RED LIGHT on the corridor
wall, beneath it the word, "EXIT DOORS."
30.
He's locked inside the base.
Sam pulls a face, disgruntled, continues down the corridor.
62 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS -- CONTINUOUS 62
Sam takes in the New York Jets poster on the wall and walks
over to the bed -- studies his lucky tambourine and the
glass jar of lunar rock samples -- like he's trying to
reacquaint himself with his own belongings.
His eyes arrive on the red stress ball. Sam scoops up the
ball and PITCHES it at the wall like he expects the thing
to bounce back to him. The stress ball doesn't bounce back,
simply hits the wall with a dull THUD and DROPS to the
FLOOR.
CUT TO:
63 EXT. THE MOON -- DAY 63
A desolation special. The blacker than black sky above.
None of the ingredients of life. On Earth we have
rainforests, and flowers, and birds. We have color. Up here
we realize how lucky we are. The base is lit by large
halogen comfort lights, alone in the lunar desert. This is
a lunar night.
CUT TO:
64 INT. MONITORING STATION -- MORNING 64
Sam sitting before The Old Man doing a few innocuous tasks,
collecting readouts, slurping a cup of coffee. Gerty is
within ear shot.
Sam sees something that pulls him CLOSER to the monitor.
SAM
Gerty, do you know about this?
Gerty approaches. Sam taps the screen.
SAM (CONT'D)
Matthew's got no velocity read-
out. He's completely still.
GERTY (O.S.)
He must have stalled.
Sam gives Gerty a look. That's not good.
31.
65 INT. COMMS ROOM -- LATER 65
Sam is recording a message for Central.
SAM
There's no way to tell from here
if a track's been thrown, or if
it's just something jammed in an
axle, or what... I can shoot out
there, check it out, get some
video and maybe save you guys the
expense of floating in a whole
crew! I know how tight money is
right now....
Sam really frustrated now. He feels cooped up, stir crazy,
idle.
SAM (CONT'D)
Just give me the word -- or Gerty
the word, tell him to unlock the
exit doors -- and I'll go out and
get Matthew up and running again.
(a beat)
That's it. Over and out.
Sam sends the message.
CUT TO:
66 INT. REC ROOM -- MORNING 66
Sam enters the Rec Room, looks around, his eyes settling on
the model of the town.
Sam sits down in front of the model, staring -- he picks up
the HOUSE he was carving earlier -- studies it carefully.
CUT TO:
67 INT. COMMS ROOM -- DAY 67
Sam and Gerty are seated at the Comms Unit watching a video
message from Central. Sam is holding a carved HOUSE,
examining it as he listens to the video.
The familiar faces of Overmeyers and Thompson on the
screen, shoulder to shoulder, the two looking more like
vultures right now than lizards.
THOMPSON
Sam, we appreciate the offer, but
you concentrate on feeling
better.
32.
SAM
(muttering, vexed)
Oh for Christ's sake...
OVERMEYERS
We don't want you to take any
unnecessary risks. You're too
important to us.
THOMPSON
You're to stay put, understand?
OVERMEYERS
It's an order.
THOMPSON
It's an order, Sam. From Lunar.
Stay put.
OVERMEYERS
We're going to send a Rescue Unit
to tend to the stalled harvester
and get the base back on its
feet.
SAM
(incensed)
Why?
The message ends. Sam turns to Gerty, irate, the message as
good as a kick in the balls.
GERTY
I'm sorry Sam.
Sam stares at Gerty.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Sam, I am under strict orders not
to let you outside.
Sam throws the half completed wood carving in his hand at
the other end of the room, breaking it. He FLIES to his
feet -- growling with frustration -- STORMS out of the
room.
CUT TO:
68 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS -- MORNING 68
Sam asleep in bed.
33.
69 SAM'S TROUBLED DREAM 69
Sam and Tess making love. We remain very close to their
bodies in bed. The background a blur. It's the same dream
we saw earlier.
Something is different though.
We drift past Sam and Tess, and under the sheets of the
bed.
Down between their entwined feet huddles a bearded, wide-
eyed Sam, staring directly at us from under the sheets at
the end of the bed!
CUT TO:
70 INT. REC ROOM 70
Sam is quietly eating breakfast, lost in thought. Gerty
puttering around in the background. The radio drones away.
71 INT. COMMS ROOM 71
Sam is seated at the Comms Unit watching a message from
Tess.
We assume this is an old message since Tess is heavily
PREGNANT.
Her slender hands are spread over her prodigious belly as
she beams at the camera.
TESS
He's kicking...or she's kicking.
I'm certain he's a boy. I wish
you could feel it.
(a beat, shifting)
I think we made the right choice,
Sam. I really do. We need some
time apart. We got stuck. That
happens in marriages sometimes.
It's nothing terrible.
(then)
Well listen, I love you lots --
and we'll talk soon, okay? Bye
Sam.
A POP and Tess is gone -- the monitor filled with STATIC.
Sam sits staring into space. Tess' message seems to have
agitated him.
SAM
Fuck it.
34.
He JUMPS from his chair and HEADS OUT of the Comms Room at
pace.
72 INT. REC ROOM 72
Sam strides in -- swipes a KNIFE from beside the wooden
model -- strides out again.
73 INT. CORRIDOR 73
Sam glances left and right -- making sure there's no sign
of Gerty -- then begins to PRY open a VENT with the knife.
Once the vent is removed he reaches deep inside and YANKS
out a bundle of interwoven WIRES -- Sam bends the wires
around the BLADE of the knife -- and CUTS.
GAS ISSUES from the cut wires. An ALARM sounds.
Sam hides the knife away, shouts down the corridor:
SAM
Gerty! Get over here! Quickly!
Gerty comes out of the Monitoring Station and SHUTTLES down
the corridor.
GERTY
What happened?
SAM
Don't know -- Micro meteorites,
maybe? Either way there might be
damage to the exterior shell. I'd
better go outside and take a
look.
GERTY
There is no damage to the
exterior shell.
SAM
It's not that I don't believe
you, Gerty, but the inner skin is
springing leaks like an ACME fire
hose. Maybe you better let me
take a look, just in case, huh?
GERTY
Sam, I'm not supposed to let you
go outside.
SAM
Then let's keep it between you
and me then. Ok?
35.
The robot takes an inordinate amount of time to think this
through. The syrupy gas distorts the light as it collects
at Sam's ankles. Gerty's arms work away as they speedily
repair the damage Sam has done. Finally:
GERTY
Okay, Sam.
The "Exit Doors" LIGHT turns from RED to GREEN. For Sam
this is like the BLAST of a STARTING PISTOL -- he
immediately takes off down the corridor --
74 INT. CHANGING AREA 74
Sam finds his space suit is gone, so grabs the spare suit
and scrambles into it.
75 INT. DOCK 75
Two Rovers parked side by side. One of the parking bays is
EMPTY. Sam stands before the empty bay for a moment -- why
is one of the Rovers missing?
If Sam suspected something was wrong before, he is certain
of it now. He climbs into one of the two remaining Rovers.
76 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE 76
Sam speeding along in the Rover. He has Matthew's
coordinates plugged into his Navigation System and is
following a MAP on a small monitor.
77 EXT. MOON -- CONTINUOUS 77
Sam heading towards the stalled Harvester. It soon becomes
apparent that there is something STUCK under the front of
the Harvester's AXLE. A second later it is apparent what
that something is: inevitably, it's the MISSING ROVER.
Sam slows his Rover down, approaching the scene with
CAUTION. He parks a few feet away from the wreck and opens
the door of his Rover, stepping outside gingerly.
ONE SIXTH GRAVITY is like walking on a trampoline. Sam
takes long strides, bobbing over to the front of the
Harvester to take a closer look, his boots leaving deep
FOOTPRINTS in the lunar soil.
36.
THE FRONT OF THE HARVESTER
The crashed Rover is exactly as we left it after the
accident, mangled, crushed, captured beneath the trundles
of the Harvester. Sam peers closer and sees that there is
an UNCONSCIOUS MAN in a Lunar Industries space suit trapped
inside.
Sam can't see the man's face -- he has his back to Sam, his
body sprawled across the passenger seat like he's searching
for loose change on the floor of the vehicle.
With great effort Sam manages to prize the Rover's door
open. He reaches inside and begins to pull the man out --
Sam's sheer ADRENALINE giving him the strength of a YETI.
Sam DRAGS the unconscious man away from the crashed Rover,
his body leaving a big TRACK MARK in the gray soil. Sam
takes a second to catch his breath, then leans down and
turns the unconscious man onto his back.
He BRUSHES DUST from the glass of the man's HELMET, leans
down even closer.
CLOSE UP -- THE MAN
Through his helmet we see a BLOODY and BEARDED SAM. Sam as
we remember him. The Sam from the opening twenty minutes of
the film.
Sam's face as the PANIC, the ALARM, the SHOCK, the
REALIZATION hit him like a wrecking ball: this man he has
just pulled out of the crashed Rover is himself.
WIDE SHOT -- THE STALLED HARVESTER
Sam gathers his wits and manages to lift the unconscious
Sam up over his shoulder, fireman's lift style, taking him
to the parked Rover.
CUT TO:
78 INT. DOCK -- A FEW MINUTES LATER 78
Sam drives the Rover into the Dock, flies out and removes
his space helmet, screaming:
SAM
Gerty! Gerty! Help!
37.
He reaches into the Rover, lifting out the unconscious Sam.
He carries him in both arms, staggering across the dock --
back arched, arms beginning to sag -- and into the
corridor.
79 INT. CORRIDOR 79
Sam promptly collapses and DROPS the unconscious Sam onto
the floor.
SAM
Gerty!
Gerty approaches, gliding along his rail. Sam is freaking
out big time, exhausted, panic-stricken, bewildered.
SAM (CONT'D)
I found him outside by the
stalled harvester. Who is he?
What the fuck is going on?
A pause. Gerty literally seems lost for words.
SAM (CONT'D)
(demanding an answer)
Gerty!
GERTY
We need to get him to the
Infirmary.
SAM
Not until you tell me who he is!
GERTY
Sam, we need to get him to the
Infirmary immediately.
Sam SCOOPS the unconscious Sam up off the ground and lifts
him towards the INFIRMARY -- staggering -- stumbling --
going:
SAM
Who is he! Who is he!
Sounding like some deranged homeless man. Gerty gliding
alongside him.
CUT TO:
80 INT. INFIRMARY -- DAY 80
Lying in the Infirmary bed, propped on a pillow, is the
first Sam, the bearded Sam, who we will now refer to as SAM
1.
38.
He has a wicked black eye and a purple bruise on the right
side of his face, looks like he was on the losing end of a
brawl.
He has a DRIP stuck in his arm and a tangle of WIRES
attached to his bare chest. A MACHINE is BEEPING away.
Gerty hovers over him, redressing the BANDAGE on Sam 1's
left hand, the one he scolded a while back.
81 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 81
Sam 1's eyes pop open, he is awake, staring directly at
Gerty.
GERTY
Hello Sam.
(a beat)
How are you feeling?
SAM 1
Where am I?
GERTY
The Infirmary. You had an
accident out by one of the
harvesters. Do you remember?
For a second this is playing out like the other Infirmary
scene. A case of deja-vu.
Sam 1's eyes twitch as he catalogues through his memory.
Yes he remembers the crash. He remembers something else,
too.
SAM 1
I saw someone out there, Gerty.
GERTY
Who did you see, Sam?
Just then Sam 1 notices the other Sam -- the more current,
clean-shaven Sam -- who we will now refer to as SAM 2. He
is standing against the wall watching Sam 1.
SAM 1
I saw a girl.
GERTY
You saw a girl out by the
harvester? How is that possible?
Sam 1 continues to stare at Sam 2, hardly believing his
eyes.
39.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Sam, you suffered a slight
concussion in the crash and have
incurred minor injuries, but all
in all the prognosis is good. I'm
happy to see you again.
As he says this Sam 2 crosses slowly from one side of the
room to the other, never taking his eyes off Sam 1. It's
like Sam 2 is purposefully keeping his distance, reluctant,
afraid even, to approach any closer.
Meanwhile Sam 1 is beginning to look spooked.
SAM 1
Gerty?
GERTY
Yes, Sam?
SAM 1
Is there someone in the room with
us?
GERTY
Yes.
SAM 1
Who is he?
But Sam 1 knows exactly who it is. He's seen that face
every morning of his life in the bathroom mirror.
GERTY
Sam, get some sleep. You're very
tired.
Sam 2 wordlessly walks out of the room.
Sam 1's eyes shift to Gerty, the spooked expression yet to
leave his face.
CUT TO:
82 INT. CORRIDOR -- DAY 82
Sam 1 hobbling along, in addition to his facial injuries he
injured his knee in the crash and is walking with a slight
LIMP. The camera TRACKING behind Sam 1 as he swings along
and stops at
83 INT. REC ROOM -- CONTINUOUS 83
Sam 1 in the doorway, he peers in.
40.
Seated before the TV watching The Newlywed Game, Sam 2. He
turns from the TV and shares a LONG LOOK with Sam 1.
Finally:
SAM 1
Hi.
Sam 2 just nods. He turns back to the TV.
Sam 1 continues on down the corridor.
84 INT. MONITORING STATION 84
Gerty is studying lunar rock samples through a microscope.
Sam 1 enters.
SAM 1
Gerty, what the hell is going on?
Who is that guy in the Rec Room?
Where did he come from?
Why does he look like me?
Sam 1 is perplexed, but not freaking out, not yet anyway.
GERTY
Sam, you're out of bed.
SAM 1
Yes, Gerty, I'm out of bed. Who
is the guy in the rec room?
GERTY
Sam Bell.
Sam 1 is officially FREAKING OUT now.
SAM 1
Who the fuck is in the rec room,
Gerty!?
GERTY
You are Sam Bell.
A long pause. Sam 1 at the point of tears.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Sam, what is it? It might help
to talk about it.
SAM 1
I don't understand what's
happening, Gerty. I think I may
be losing my mind.
41.
GERTY
We could run some tests.
(a beat)
I haven't reported anything to
central, Sam. They don't know
you were recovered alive from the
accident.
SAM 1
Recovered alive? What do you
mean? Why haven't you reported
to central?
GERTY
I'm here to keep you safe, Sam.
I want to help you. Are you
hungry?
Sam 1 merely nods at this, turning and plodding out of the
room, seemingly in a DAZE.
85 INT. CORRIDOR 85
Sam 1 comes out of the Monitoring Station, passes the Rec
Room without looking in.
86 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS -- CONTINUOUS 86
Sam 2 has taken over the room. The same belongings, of
course, but there's a different energy. For one thing it's
very untidy; looks like the bedroom of an unruly teenager.
Sam 1 stands in the doorway, taking it in.
Wordlessly Sam 1 begins to tidy the room. He seems almost
RELIEVED to be able to lose himself temporarily in this
physical activity -- making the bed, folding clothes, etc.
CUT TO:
87 INT. REC ROOM 87
Sam 2 has stopped watching TV and is now seated at a table
playing solitaire. Sam 1 appears in the doorway.
Sam 2 looks up. The energy bristling with tension.
SAM 1
You're Sam Bell.
Sam 2 doesn't answer, goes back to his cards.
Sam 1 enters with CAUTION, takes a seat across the room,
purposefully keeping his distance.
42.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
I'm Sam Bell, too.
SAM 2
Yeah.
Sam 1 nods. A beat.
SAM 1
This is fucked up.
SAM 2
Completely.
Sam 2 slapping down cards. Sam 1 desperately attempts to
put together a coherent thought.
SAM 1
Why... What are you?
For a second we don't think Sam 2 is going to respond.
Then:
SAM 2
I'm a clone, Sam. Im a fucking
clone.
SAM 1
How long have you been here?
SAM 2
About a week.
A beat.
SAM 1
How are you getting on?
SAM 2
(repeating the question
slowly)
How am I getting on?
(then)
The company ordered Gerty to lock
all the exits. I haven't been
able to do anything for seven
days but sit on my ass.
SAM 1
They locked all the exits? What
about the harvesters?
SAM 2
Slowed them down to half speed,
apparently.
(MORE)
43.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
And then when I finally trick
Gerty into letting me outside I
find a clone of myself in a
crashed rover. How am I getting
on? Oh I'm loving it.
SAM 1
I'm not a clone.
SAM 2
Ok, Sam. You're not a clone.
SAM 1
You're the clone.
CUT TO:
88 INT. GREENHOUSE - LATER 88
The two Sam's are inspecting plants.
SAM 2
How long have you been here?
SAM 1
Almost three years.
SAM 2
Hence the Captain's beard.
SAM 1
(with a smile)
Right.
SAM 2
I didn't know it could get so
thick. Does it itch?
SAM 1
No, not really.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Listen, I wanted to say thank-
you. If it wasn't for you I'd
still be out there in the crashed
rover. You saved my life.
(then)
Will you shake my hand?
Sam 2 hesitates, eventually shakes Sam 1's hand. Meanwhile
Sam 1 is staring at his clone, astonished.
SAM 2
(self-conscious)
What?
44.
SAM 1
You look just like me. It's
incredible.
SAM 2
Why do I look like you? Why don't
you look like me?
SAM 1
We look like each other, I guess.
This final line intended as a kind of truce.
CUT TO:
89 INT. REC ROOM -- LATER 89
Sam 1 and Sam 2 are folding the Ping-Pong table down so
they can have a real game.
PING-PONG
The two Sams playing Ping-Pong. It's slightly competitive,
but mainly they are just happy to take their minds off
their situation for half an hour.
SAM 1
Your serve.
SAM 2
Score?
SAM 1
Two points to eighteen.
SAM 2
Fuck!
Sam 2 slaps his paddle on his thigh, his temper creeping up
on him. He catches Sam's eye. Gets a grip. Sam 1 is a
better player than Sam 2. He's been up here longer. He's
had more practice.
90 INT. REC ROOM -- LATER 90
After the game, the two Sams are sprawled in their seats,
sweaty, flushed, energized. They sit before the model of
the town.
SAM 2
How long did it take you to do
this?
45.
SAM 1
I don't remember doing all of it.
I remember when I did the church
and the Salvation Army. And a few
of the people. My mind's been
acting kind of weird lately,
though.
SAM 2
It's Fairfield, right?
(pointing)
There's Town Hall.
SAM 1
Uh-huh. You know Fairfield?
(also pointing)
That's the Baskin&Robbins. And
there's Tess and Eve. Do you know
Tess?
The mention of their wife has stopped the conversation in
its tracks. Sam 2 immediately drops into deep melancholy.
SAM 2
Yes. I know Tess.
SAM 1
You know about Eve, right?
It is obvious from Sam 2's expression that he doesn't.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
We had a girl.
SAM 2
We did?
(beat)
She thought she was going to have
a boy. She was so sure.
(then)
Eve?
Sam 1 nods.
SAM 1
She's beautiful. She's really
beautiful.
SAM 2
How much did she weigh? Isn't
that what you're supposed to ask,
how much did she weigh?
SAM 1
Nine pounds, eleven ounces.
46.
Sam 2 doesn't know what to do with the news: on the one
hand he is jubilant, on the other he's a clone, the baby
technically isn't even his.
All of a sudden there is a "PING!" From the Intercom
speaker:
GERTY'S VOICE
Sam, a message has arrived from
Central.
Sam 1 and Sam 2 share a look, then together SPRING from
their chairs.
CUT TO:
91 INT. COMMS ROOM -- DAY 91
Sam 1 and Sam 2 seated before the Comms Unit. Sam 1 hits
the "Play" button. Overmeyers and Thompson appear on the
screen.
OVERMEYERS
Greetings, Sam!
THOMPSON
How's our Man? Feeling better?
OVERMEYERS
You getting lots of rest?
THOMPSON
Yeah, you resting up, Sam? You'd
better be you bastard.
OVERMEYERS
Enjoy it while it lasts! We've
got good news.
THOMPSON
The Jupiter Program had to be put
on hiatus, so we've got a few
free pairs of hands --
OVERMEYERS
We've managed to secure you a
Rescue Unit ahead of schedule.
THOMPSON
Rescue Unit Eliza.
A SHOT/STILL PHOTO of Rescue Unit ELIZA. A meaner group of
sons-of-bitches you have never seen. These guys make the
rescue team from Apocalypse Now look like The New Kids on
the Block.
47.
OVERMEYERS
They've been stationed on Goliath
19 for the last couple of months.
THOMPSON (O.S.)
Eliza's been in transit for the
last day....we expect them to
reach you in approximately 14
hours.
OVERMEYERS (O.S.)
Commence to jump for joy!
THOMPSON (O.S.)
You'll be back to work in no
time.
Now back on Overmeyers and Thompson.
OVERMEYERS
Eliza is bringing you something
special, Sam. Compliments of the
company.
THOMPSON
A hooker!
OVERMEYERS
No not a hooker. What's wrong
with you? It's a little something
to drink, Sam, that's all, our
way of patting you on the back
for all that you've been through.
THOMPSON
In the meantime, keep resting up,
and hang in there.
OVERMEYERS
Yeah you hang in there, Sam. Over
and out.
And the screen pops to black. A pause.
For a moment there is silence, neither of the Sams knowing
how to react -- going by the message Thompson and
Overmeyers don't know anything about there being two Sams
on the base now.
SAM 1
They're sending a Rescue Unit?
Why?
SAM 2
To fix the stalled harvester.
They didn't think I was up to it.
48.
SAM 1
Then I'm going back.
Sam 2 gives Sam 1 a perplexed look.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
I've done my three years. That's
it for me --
Sam 2 is shaking his head slowly.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
What?
SAM 2
Is that what you really think?
SAM 1
I've got a contract --
SAM 2
You're a fucking clone! You don't
have shit!
At once Sam 1 and Sam 2 ROCKET to their feet -- right in
each others faces, on the BRINK of BLOWS.
SAM 1
I'm going home!
SAM 2
You're not going anywhere!
Sam 1 turns around, heads out of the room. Sam 2 STORMS
after him, TALKING the whole time --
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
You've been up here too long,
man! You've lost the plot!
Gerty shuttles along after them.
92 INT. CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS 92
Sam 1 presses down the corridor, Sam 2 tailing right behind
him.
SAM 2
What, you think Tess is back home
waiting for you? What about the
original Sam?
SAM 1
I'm the original! I'm Sam
fucking Bell! Me! Me!
49.
Sam 1, stress ball pumping away in his hand, spots Gety and
angrily faces him.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Gerty, am I a clone?
Gerty doesn't know which way to look.
GERTY
Yes, Sam.
Sam 1 ducks in the Rec Room, Sam 2 in tow.
93 INT. REC ROOM 93
Sam 1 takes his old seat before the model. Sam 2 stands
over him.
SAM 2
What about the other clones?
"Other clones?" Sam 1 just stares back.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Yeah, we might not be the first
two to be woken up.
(indicating the model)
You said that thing had already
been started when you got here.
Well, who started it?
(then)
There might be other clones up
here right now. Think about it.
How did I get here so quickly
after your crash? They didn't
ship me in from Central, there
wasn't time. I must have come
from the base.
SAM 1
That's ridiculous. Impossible.
Why would hey do that?
SAM 2
I bet there's some kind of secret
room --
SAM 1
(laughing)
Secret room?
SAM 2
Yeah, secret room, why not?
50.
SAM 1
(losing his cool)
You're the one who's lost the
plot! I've been here for three
years. I know every inch of this
base. I know how many dust fibres
are between those wall panels
over there -- why would they do
that?!
SAM 2
Look. It's a company, right?
They have investors, shareholders
-- shit like that. What's
cheaper? Spending time and money
training new personnel or just
have a couple of spares here to
do the job. If they make it
through their contract, great.
If they don't, hallelujah! No
contract completion fees, no
retirement package. Just thaw out
the spare, and keep the profits
rolling in. It's the far side of
the Moon, Sam! The tight fuck's
haven't even fixed our
communications satellite.
SAM 1
Tess would know.
SAM 2
Do you really think they give a
shit about us? They're laughing
all the way to the bank!
SAM 1
Tess would know what's going on!
She wouldn't let that happen!
SAM 2
(exhasperated)
There's some area we don't know
about. I'm going to find it.
Sam 1 shakes his head dismissively, picks up the wooden
house, starts whittling.
Meanwhile Sam 2 has left the room.
94 INT. MONITORING STATION -- QUICK CUTS 94
Sam 2 in the Monitoring Station checking wall panels,
reaching his hand inside cubbies and feeling around deep
inside, SEARCHING.
51.
95 INT. CORRIDOR -- QUICK CUTS 95
Sam 2 moving along the corridor, pressing his ear against
panels, tapping with his finger --
96 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS -- QUICK CUTS 96
Sam 2 RAMPAGES through the Sleeping Quarters, pushes the
bed aside, lifts the mattress, goes tearing through a
closet, ripping clothes from hangers, checks the back
panel.
97 INT. REC ROOM 97
Sam 2 has come full circle. He shifts the ping pong table,
goes through cabinets in the kitchen, feels inside --
Sam 1 half-whittling, half-watching.
SAM 1
I told you.
SAM 2
Shut-up!
Finally Sam 2 arrives before the model.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Get out of the way.
SAM 1
Why?
SAM 2
I want to check underneath there.
SAM 1
You're not moving the model.
SAM 2
Get the fuck out of my way!
Sam 1 stands, keeps his ground.
SAM 1
No.
Sam 1 is still holding the knife. Though he's not about to
use it, both Sams are aware that it's there.
Suddenly Sam 2 LUNGES for the knife; an INTENSE STRUGGLE
ensues -- TEETH CLENCHED, sputtering BREATHS -- the two
Sams less clones right now than ANIMALS.
52.
Sam 2 is able to loosen Sam 1's grip on the knife --
flinging the weapon across the room -- and SWINGS Sam 1 up
against the wall.
Now Sam 2 turns to face the model. Using BOTH HANDS he
lifts the model up HIGH over his HEAD and PUSHES the entire
thing UPSIDE DOWN. A massive CRASH.
There is nothing there but the bare table.
Sam 1 comes up behind Sam 2 with his nose SPEWING BLOOD,
wraps both arms around Sam 2's neck. Sam 2 elbows him in
the ribs -- a quick, controlled jab -- SPINS around,
manages to secure Sam 1 in an arm lock.
But suddenly there is no struggle coming from Sam 1: he's
stopped fighting. Sam 2 removes him from the headlock --
notices his arm is SMUDGED with Sam 1's BLOOD --
SAM 2
You okay?
Sam 1 has remained bent over, like he's cast in stone,
blood RAINING from his face and POOLING at his feet thick
and fast.
Sam 2 just staring, as freaked as he is baffled.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
I hardly touched you.
Now he tries to help Sam 1.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Let me see.
Sam 1 tears away from him. He looks up, his face a MESS of
blood -- the WHITES of his eyes unnaturally bright, shouts:
SAM 1
Get off me!
Sam 1 holds his face with his outstretched hand, as if
holding it in place -- STUMBLES from the room -- leaking
BLOOD the whole way.
A concerned Sam 2 watches him go.
CUT TO:
98 INT. BATHROOM -- MOMENTS LATER 98
Sam 1 spills in and locks the door. He RAPIDLY turns on the
faucet and cups his hand to transfer water up to his face --
this going on for a few seconds.
53.
MIRROR
Sam 1 stares at his reflection in the mirror, holding a
MOUND of TOILET PAPER against his NOSE. The blood flow has
subsided
Suddenly Sam 1 sees the GIRL in the mirror. It gives him a
hell of a FRIGHT.
The Girl remains in the mirror looking at Sam 1. A neutral
expression, impassive. Sam 1 takes a deep breath, lowers
the toilet paper from his nose.
SAM 1
Who are you?
No answer.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
(shouting)
Who are you!
Sam 1 swings around to confront the Girl...but she's not
there, she's vanished. Her reflection has vanished from the
mirror also.
CUT TO:
99 INT. REC ROOM 99
Sam 2 snaps on the TV with the remote, starts watching
Laugh-In, turns, sees Sam 1 wander by in the corridor. Sam
2 considers calling out to him, opts against it, gives the
TV his full attention.
100 INT. MONITORING STATION 100
Gerty is stationed at the Old Man collecting data. Sam 1
enters.
GERTY
Hello Sam.
SAM 1
Hi Gerty.
Sam 1 sits. A pause. Gerty turns from the monitor, faces of
with an EXHAUSTED and DRAINED Sam 1.
GERTY
Sam, is everything okay?
54.
SAM 1
We had a fight. Me and the other
guy, the other Sam. We had a
fight, Gerty. He's a maniac. You
know what he did? He flipped the
entire model over. Do you know
how much work I've put into that
thing?
GERTY
938 hours.
SAM 1
938 hours, exactly.
(then)
Really? 938 hours.
GERTY
Approximately.
SAM 1
(a beat)
He scares me, Gerty.
GERTY
What is it about Sam that scares
you?
SAM 1
He flies off the handle. I see it
now...I see what Tess was talking
about.
(a beat)
I've never told you this, Gerty,
but she left me. Tess left me.
For six months. She moved back in
with her parents.
GERTY
I know.
SAM 1
Oh...
(beat)
It was the year before I came in
here. She gave me a second
chance. I promised her I'd
change.
GERTY
You have changed, Sam.
SAM 1
Yeah, I guess I have.
A beat.
55.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Gerty, since I've been up here
I've sent Tess over a hundred
video messages. Where did those
messages go? Did they ever reach
her?
A pause.
GERTY
Sam, I can only account for what
occurs on the base.
SAM 1
What about the messages she sent
to me?
A long pause. Finally Gerty repeats:
GERTY
Sam, I can only account for what
occurs on the base.
SAM 1
Gerty, am I really a clone?
GERTY
Sam, when you first arrived at
Selene, there was a small crash.
You woke up in the infirmary. You
suffered minor brain damage and
memory loss. I kept you under
observation and ran some tests.
SAM 1
I remember.
GERTY
Sam, there was no crash. You
were being awakened.
(a beat)
It is standard procedure for all
new clones to be given tests to
establish mental stability and
general physical health. Genetic
abnormalities and minor
duplication errors in the DNA can
have considerable impact--
SAM 1
And Tess? Eve?
GERTY
They are memory implants, Sam.
I'm very sorry.
56.
Sam 1 nods at this. He's broken-hearted. He begins to
leave.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Sam, it's been several hours
since your last meal. Can I
prepare you something?
SAM 1
No thanks, Gerty.
Sam 1 exits.
CUT TO:
101 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS 101
Sam 1 enters the sleeping quarters -- straightens the bed
and lies down. He picks up the picture of the pregnant
TESS, stares at it long and hard.
CUT TO:
102 INT. REC ROOM -- LATER 102
The TV is off. Sam 2 is sitting, arms folded, entrenched in
GLOOM.
Sam 1 enters and heads for the kitchen, prepares himself a
snack. Sam 2 is aware that Sam 1 is there, but keeps his
eyes focussed forward, as immobile as a statue.
Eventually Sam 1 tentatively comes over.
SAM 1
You okay?
SAM 2
I'm staring into space.
(points to the window)
Get it?
Sam 1 does get it. He smiles to be polite, sits.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
How's the nose?
SAM 1
Better.
A beat.
SAM 2
Listen, I went haywire before. I
lost it. I'm sorry.
57.
SAM 1
It's okay.
SAM 2
No it's not okay. I fucked up
Fairfield -- your model -- that's
unacceptable. I don't know what's
wrong with me.
(then)
I've got a temper. I need to do
something about it.
SAM 1
Yes you do.
A pause.
SAM 2
I've been thinking. That Rescue
Unit -- Eliza -- they'll be here
in less than fourteen hours. I
don't know about you but I'd like
to figure out where we stand
before they get here.
SAM 1
Absolutely.
SAM 2
Ostensibly they're coming to deal
with the stalled harvester. We
both know that isn't true.
(then)
They're coming to dig your body
out of that rover. They think
you're in there.
SAM 1
Right.
SAM 2
What'll their reaction be when
they find out you survived the
crash? I wasn't supposed to find
you. Lunar instructed Gerty to
lock me inside the base for
Christ's sake.
A pause. Sam 1 thinking it over.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
And there's something else.
Something I haven't told you.
(a beat)
(MORE)
58.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Right around the time I was
awakened...I walked in on Gerty
talking to Central. He was having
a live conversation.
SAM 1
A live conversation?
SAM 2
Yeah.
SAM 1
That's not possible.
SAM 2
No no no, it is possible. It's
possible because I saw it, that's
my point.
Sam 2 feels himself losing his temper a little here. He
reigns himself in.
SAM 1
How do you know the conversation
was live?
SAM 2
It was a back and forth exchange.
And I saw Thompson and Overmeyers
up on the monitor. I was supposed
to be asleep in the Infirmary.
The moment I walked into the
comms room Gerty terminated the
transmission. Now I was a little
drugged up, granted, but I didn't
imagine it.
SAM 1
The communications equipment is
damaged -- there was a solar
storm --
SAM 2
Tabitha.
SAM 1
Tabitha, right.
SAM 2
Lunar made it up. Maybe. I don't
know. Bottom line is they don't
want us to be able to contact
Earth. Otherwise why would they
have lied to us?
A pause. Sam 1 staring forward, concentrating. Sam 2
concentrating on Sam 1.
59.
SAM 1
How are they blocking the live
feed? The base's communications
equipment works fine --
SAM 2
Maybe they're not blocking the
signal from inside the base.
SAM 1
From where then?
As if reading each others minds, the two Sams' heads turn
to the window -- a slow, perfectly synchronized movement.
The lunar landscape, as black and vast as ever. The view
almost cruel in its emptiness. It's not giving them any
answers, not yet.
CUT TO:
103 I/E. ROVER ONE/MOON SURFACE -- DAY 103
Sam 1 speeding along in one of the Rovers. He wears his
space suit and resembles a cosmic racing driver -- shifts
up a gear, the vehicle flirting with peak speed.
He flies past one of the Harvesters, speaks through a
microphone inside his helmet.
SAM 1
Just passing the last of the
Harvesters -- looks like John --
All of this against the ROAR of the Rover's engine.
104 I/E. ROVER TWO/MOON SURFACE 104
Driving away from base in a different direction, Sam 2. He
also wears a space suit. He also guns the engine. He also
has a microphone inside his helmet. The two clones are able
to talk back and forth with no delay.
SAM 2
How long until you're out of the
base's range?
We INTERCUT between the two Sams in their Rovers.
SAM 1
If I maintain this speed...a
minute. Ninety seconds tops.
SAM 2
You ever been this far out?
60.
SAM 1
No, never.
ANOTHER ANGLE -- SECOND ROVER
Viewed from far away, the Rover's speed less impressive
from a distance.
105 I/E. ROVER'S ONE AND TWO/MOON SURFACE -- INTERCUT 105
As the Sams continue to drive.
SAM 1
You see anything yet?
SAM 2
Nothing. You?
SAM 1
There isn't shit out here...I
feel like I'm about to drive off
the end of the world.
(then)
It would help if I knew what I
was looking for.
Through the glass of Sam 1's helmet we see his FACE
suddenly SHIFT.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Wait a second, wait a second.
Sam 1 squints and leans closer towards the windshield, like
he's trying to decipher a road sign --
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
I see something.
SAM 1'S POV
About a hundred feet away -- appearing from thin air -- a
massive metal pole stretches up into the black sky.
SAM 2
What is it?
SAM 1
Don't know yet.
Sam 1 getting closer.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Looks like some kind of antenna.
61.
SAM 2
Antenna? Really?
(then)
Hang on, looks like there's one
on this side too.
Sam 2 is indeed approaching something similar.
Sam 1 stops his Rover about twenty feet from the Jammer. He
opens the Rover's door and steps out to take a closer look.
WIDE SHOT -- SAM 1/ROVER
Taking in the Jammer and the adjacent Rover. Sam 1 loping
towards the Jammer, seemingly in slow motion.
The JAMMER is GIGANTIC --An intimidating, stark pole
stabbed into the lunar landscape, like the worlds biggest
caber. Next to it Sam 1 is tiny, a white dot, as
insignificant as a pin prick.
Sam 1 and Sam 2
We cut back and forth between the two Sams as they both
investigate the separate but identical-looking Jammers.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
I can just make out the top. Must
be a hundred feet tall at least.
It's huge!
SAM 1
Whoever built these things meant
business. They weren't fucking
around.
Their voices ENERGIZED -- they are excited to have made
this discovery -- they aren't dealing with the negatives
yet.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
What do you think?
SAM 2
Its not an antennae, dude. Its a
jammer.
(looking around)
No wonder we can't get a live
feed. These things must be
blocking our signal.
Suddenly Sam 1 doubles over. He vomits thick, viscous
blood and sick into his helmet. Revolting.
The noise is AUDIBLE over the microphone.
62.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
You okay?
No answer from Sam 1. He COLLAPSES backwards onto the
ground. His chest LURCHES like he's been punched at from
the inside -- he spins over onto his front --
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Sam?
Sam 1 manages to climb to his feet -- heads slowly back to
the Rover -- he dips in, closes the door.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Sam, can you hear me?
SAM 1
Yeah, I hear you.
(then)
I'm going to head back to base.
I'm not feeling too good.
SAM 2
I'll stay out here a little
longer. I want to see if there
are any more of these things.
Sam 1 pulls a U-turn and begins his journey back to base.
Sam 2 remains out by his Jammer, investigating further.
CUT TO:
106 I/E. SAM 1'S ROVER/MOON SURFACE 106
Sam 1 at the wheel. He has pulled his helmet off within
the safe pocket of the rovers cabin. He's a grizzly mess
of splashed sick and blood all over his face and chest.
Sam 1 screams out with confusion, frustration, terror.
SAM 1
Fuck!
He seizes the steering wheel, shakes it FIERCELY --
beginning to really LOSE IT --
107 INT. DOCK 107
Sam 1 drives his Rover into the Dock -- not with his
customary precision -- parks at an angle, grazes the wall.
The Rover's door JERKS opens and Sam 1 steps out
unsteadily, his face visibly PALE through the glass of his
helmet.
63.
He STAGGERS across the dock -- doesn't even close the
Rover's door behind him -- heads into the corridor.
108 INT. CORRIDOR 108
Sam 1 goes swerving up the corridor like a drunkard --
BANGING into walls -- he finally reaches the bathroom and
ducks in --
109 INT. BATHROOM 109
Sam 1 sinks to his knees before the toilet bowl. With great
effort he is able to remove his helmet, placing it on the
floor next to him. He stares into the toilet.
For a moment all is calm. The gentle "ping-ping-ping" of a
computer somewhere inside the base. Sam breathing steadily.
Spots of sweat on his upper lip.
And then he VOMITS. He vomits LOUD, he vomits VIOLENTLY.
His whole body THRUSTS forward in the process, taught,
tense, like a dog being YANKED on a CHAIN.
Sam 1 vomits again. And again. And again. And stops.
ANGLE FROM ABOVE -- SAM 1
Sam 1's vomit is DARK RED -- he's thrown up BLOOD -- but
that's not all -- we can clearly see two or three TEETH
floating in the vomit --
THE MIRROR
Sam 1 stands, moves to the mirror, opening his mouth wide
to look for the missing teeth -- he uses his thumbs, shows
his gums -- revealing: yes, he's lost at least a couple of
teeth.
He flushes the toilet.
CUT TO:
110 EXT. MOON -- DAY 110
Sam 2 driving along in his Rover. He comes across another
one of these JAMMERS. He drives right up, ducks down,
peering up through the windshield -- this new Jammer is as
tall as the others, in fact, it is identical in every way.
How many of these things are there?
64.
Sam 2 circles the Jammer in the Rover, drives on.
CUT TO:
111 INT. MONITORING STATION 111
Sam 1 enters and sits down at The Old Man. Frantically he
starts typing in numbers.
An array of Log Entries appear ON THE SCREEN. Sam watches
one of them.
SAM 1
(on screen)
January 12th, Lunar hour 8:32.
All Harvesters running smoothly
today. Readouts are as follows:
Matthew, 12.7 miles; Mark 11.9
miles...
These are just his log entries. What's he looking for?
Sam 1 starts scrolling BACK through the log entries, like
he's REWINDING chapters on a DVD, showing himself at
various stages of his time on Selene -- his beard
essentially growing in REVERSE as the messages stretch
further back -- eventually Sam 1 is clean shaven --
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
(on the screen)
Luke, 12.9 miles; John, 11.1
miles...
Sam 1 keeps typing in numbers.
ON THE SCREEN: "RESTRICTED. PASSWORD REQUIRED."
No go. He tries to hack his way in, but is having no luck.
One of Gerty's long spindly ARMS slides into the room. Sam
backs away from the intimidating piece of machinery, but it
stops within reach of the computer.
Sam 1 watches as the arm reaches forward and taps the
password in for him. It leaves the room the way it came
in.
Sam 1 continues to go further and further back -- and
suddenly he POPS up on the screen again -- or is it him? --
this Sam up on the screen has stubble -- no beard -- and
looks seriously ILL --
He is barely able to talk -- in fact he's SLURRING --
65.
SAM
(on screen)
...John, 15.1 miles...sorry, I'm
not feeling too hot today -- I'm
going to have to continue this
later --
The SEQUENCE becomes a FAST-PACED and NIGHTMARISH MONTAGE --
continuing to BACKTRACK through the log entries -- showing
yet more SAMS -- one has a MOUSTACHE -- one has a SHAVED
HEAD -- one has grown out his hair and has a PONY TAIL,
we've seen this particular Sam before in an earlier scene.
But all the Sams have one thing in common: towards the
latter end of their log entries they all appear to be in
very bad physical shape --
SAM 4
...I've got blood coming out of
my nose...
SAM 5
I don't feel too well, Old Man.
SAM 6
My hair's falling out...look it.
Sam 1 searches even DEEPER into the COMPUTER and uncovers
yet more footage.
We see the others Sams returning to Earth -- yet they don't
seem to go anywhere -- when they blast off the RETURN
VEHICLE remains in its bay --
Sam 1 views different Sams blasting back to earth in the
return vehicle -- always with the same result -- the return
vehicle remaining in its bay, the Sams seemingly VANISHING.
In one particularly GRAINY SEQUENCE Sam 1 views Gerty
opening the lid to the cryo pod in the return vehicle and
beginning to VACUUM what appears to be DUST or DEBRIS --
Sam 1 understands now that the Return Vehicle is not a
spacecraft, but some kind of INCINERATOR.
112 INT. RETURN VEHICLE 112
Sam 1 heads into the Return Vehicle. Its dominated by the
cryo pod, used to hold astronauts in a state of cryogenic
sleep on their way back to Earth. Sam 1 pops open the lid
and starts frantically searching the chamber for TRACES of
the previous Sams, eventually finding particles of DUST in
the cracks --
66.
He closes the lid. A video showing a TECHNICIAN in a white
lab coat begins to play on a screen aimed at the glass lid
of the pod. It's mute, but we can hear a tinny version of
the audio coming from the cryo pod. Sam 1 pushes a button
on the monitor and we hear the audio properly.
TECHNICIAN
...relax and breathe deeply. The
cryo pod is designed to put you
into a deep sleep for the
duration of your three day return
journey back to Earth. As you
begin to get sleepy, think about
the magnificent job you've done,
and how proud your family are of
what you've accomplished.
Relaxing music begins to play. After a moment the music
stops. There is a pause. Then an almighty pulse of light
from the cryo pod. This is how Sams past have met their
end. Nuked to ash like microwave meals in the cryo pod.
Sam 1 inspects the controls of the spacecraft to see if it
really is a vehicle -- in the process of his search he
finds himself down on his knees checking out the wiring.
Suddenly Sam 1's attention is on the floor BENEATH HIM. He
appears to be kneeling on some kind of PANEL -- like a
tablet in the return vehicle's floor -- he presses his ear
against the panel -- KNOCKS --
The panel sounds HOLLOW.
CUBBY
Sam 1 opens a cubby, swipes something similar to a CROW
BAR, heads out of the frame --
RETURN VEHICLE
Back in the Return Vehicle, Sam 1 stands over the panel in
the floor. He uses the CROW BAR to prize the panel open --
this takes an extraordinary effort -- the panel eventually
LIFTING like a manhole cover.
Sam 1 can't believe his eyes. At the top of the OPEN PANEL,
leading down into darkness...there's A LADDER.
113 INT. DOCK 113
Sam 2 returns from his tour of the perimeter of the base;
pulls up alongside Sam 1's Rover, having to compensate for
his clone's poor parking job.
67.
114 INT. CORRIDOR 114
Sam 2 exits the Parking Bay and removes his helmet. Down
the corridor he sees Sam 1 standing outside the Return
Vehicle: facing him, waiting.
SAM 2
I saw three more of those
jammers. The base is surrounded.
I printed out their coordinates --
Sam 2 begins to remove a piece of paper from his pocket,
but suddenly stops. He can tell by Sam 1's expression that
something has happened.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
What? What is it?
SAM 1
I found your secret room.
CUT TO:
115 INT. RETURN VEHICLE 115
Standing over the Open Panel, an anxious Sam 1 and Sam 2
stare down.
SAM 2
Who goes first?
Sam 1 wordlessly takes the lead, crouching slightly to
seize the ladder and twist his body down into the hole. He
begins to DESCEND. When he is roughly half way down Sam 2
follows.
116 INT. LOWER DECK/CHAMBER -- CONTINUOUS 116
Sam 1 reaches the bottom of the ladder. He's in a dark
room, a kind of CHAMBER -- if NASA did crypts, it would
look like this.
The only light source right now is the coming from the
Return Vehicle up above. Sam 2 hops down beside Sam 1,
squints into the darkness.
SAM 2
Is there a light?
Both Sams FUMBLE along opposing walls -- Sam 1 eventually
finding a SWITCH, snaps it on.
An array of overhead fluorescent bulbs begin to STUTTER and
FLASH before ILLUMINATING the chamber completely --
68.
The two Sams can hardly believe their eyes: stretching back
maybe fifty feet are rows and rows of PODS -- like upright
glass coffins -- and standing inside each pod, an as-of-yet
UNAWAKENED CLONE. It's like an ENTIRE ARMY of Sam Bells...
Spooky as hell.
For a few moments Sam 1 and 2 are too stunned to speak.
They walk to the end of the chamber and back again, looking
at each clone one at a time -- all the clones are bare
chested and wear some kind of white cloth to cover their
genitals, like a diaper.
Of course they all look the same, that's why they're
clones, but this piece of scientific wizardry is mind-
boggling to Sam 1 and 2 -- they MARVEL at how each of the
clones is identical in every way, and down to the minutest
of details -- same length of hair, same skin tone, same
fingernails --
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Why are there so many of them?
SAM 1
The cryo pod in the Return
Vehicle is an incinerator.
Sam 2 reacts with appropriate shock.
SAM 2
What?
SAM 1
We don't go home. We're burned to
death up there. Then the company
wakes up a new one. Every three
years. Like clock work.
Sam 2 absorbing this. Then:
SAM 2
How do you know all this?
SAM 1
(beat)
I hacked into the Old Man.
Actually, Gerty did. I saw
footage. You're right, there have
been other clones before us.
SAM 2
How many?
SAM 1
Enough.
A pause.
69.
SAM 2
If that Rescue Unit finds the two
of us awake at the same time,
they'll kill us both for sure.
Sam 1 doesn't respond, he's in his own world.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
What are we going to do?
All of a sudden Sam 1 makes a beeline for the ladder,
starts heading back up.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Where are you going?
117 INT. MONITORING STATION -- MOMENTS LATER 117
Sam 1 is digging in drawers, removes some equipment, some
wires; a radio, a small machine called a VIDEO PHONE,
referred to as a VP.
He is watched by Gerty.
GERTY
Sam, can I help you with
something?
SAM 1
Not now, Gerty, okay?
Gerty begins to slide out of the room. Sam calls after
him.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Gerty? Why did you help me? With
the password? Doesn't that go
against your programming or
something?
GERTY
Helping you is what I do.
Gerty leaves.
Sam 1 goes on picking up equipment, shoves it all into a
backpack he swiped from a peg.
Now Sam 2 appears in the doorway.
SAM 2
What's going on?
SAM 1
There's something I've got to do.
70.
Sam 1 brushes by Sam 2 on his way out.
118 INT. DOCK 118
Sam 1 marches up to his Rover, tosses in the backpack and
dips inside without his helmet, closes the door and backs
out into the black day.
119 I/E. SAM 1'S ROVER/MOON SURFACE 119
Sam 1 at the wheel, flooring the Rover -- he looks
possessed, determined -- a man on a mission --
WIDE SHOT
Sam's Rover approaches one of the many Jammers that we now
know circle the perimeter of the base.
Sam 1 stops the Rover on the other side of the Jammer.
Here, outside the range of the Jammers, he figures he might
be able to get a signal through to Earth.
ON SAM as he removes his equipment from the backpack and
starts to uncoil wires -- inserts a small BATTERY PACK onto
the back of the VP, sits the VP on his lap. The VP
resembles a Play Station Portable with its small but
nonetheless high-quality screen.
Sam isn't sure who to contact at first...finally he enters
some numbers from memory. The VP shaking in his hands. He
is nervous, scared. He disables the video mode on his end,
so he is only sending audio.
A moment of silence. The VP seems dead.
SAM 1
Come on...come on...
Then the VP BEEPS -- the monitor BLIPS -- the message seems
to have gone through.
And suddenly a GIRL appears on the screen.
Sam 1 can't believe it. It's the same Girl from his
hallucinations. Same wheat-colored hair. Same freckles
dotting her cheek bones. Same yellow dress.
The moment Sam 1 sees the Girl he thinks -- naturally --
that he's imagining things again. But then she speaks:
GIRL
Hello?
71.
That's never happened before. Sam 1 finally manages to
respond:
SAM 1
Uh, Bell residence?
The conversation has a very slight delay, maybe a second or
two, and the Girl isn't completely clear on the monitor. We
assume that these minor technical glitches are the same on
the Girl's end.
The Girl is sweet, chirpy -- nothing like the haunting,
ghost-like figure from Sam 1's hallucinations.
GIRL
This is the Bell Residence.
SAM 1
I'm trying to reach Tess Bell.
The girl's expression shifts -- now somewhere between
melancholy and curiosity --
GIRL
I'm sorry, she passed away some
years ago.
Sam 1 GASPS. He literally gasps. Like someone just plunged
a paring knife into his belly.
SAM 1
No...no way.
The girl just stares.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Tess Bell? Are you sure?
GIRL
Uh, yeah, I think so. I'm her
daughter.
(then)
Can I help you?
And astonishingly, the news of Tess's death actually takes
a back seat as Sam 1 is forced to confront this new
revelation.
The girl is EVE BELL. Sam 1 is talking to his DAUGHTER.
Sam 1 tilts his head, a smile twitches on his face.
SAM 1
Eve?
Sam 1 can't believe it. She's beautiful. She's beautiful.
72.
EVE BELL
Yes?
A moment. Eve looking more closely, trying to decipher Sam
1's face. Tears glistening in his eyes.
SAM 1
(overwhelmed)
Hi... Hi. Eve. How old are you
now?
For a second Eve is embarrassed -- she blushes slightly --
but is still pulled in, intrigued.
EVE BELL
I'm fifteen.
(then)
Do I know you?
SAM 1
How did mom die, sweetheart?
EVE BELL
Uh...
Now Eve is beginning to look spooked. She turns away from
the screen and calls to someone in another room:
EVE BELL (CONT'D)
Dad!
And then we hear a voice. Sam's voice.
SAM'S VOICE (O.S.)
What!
EVE BELL
Dad, there's someone asking about
mom...
Sam's voice sounds CLOSER, more SUCCINCT, as he comes into
the room -- but we don't see him yet -- he sounds, OLDER.
SAM'S VOICE
Who's asking about mom?
Sam 1 hurriedly shuts off the VP.
He sits there in the Rover, on the Moon, the middle of
nowhere -- hundreds and thousands of miles from Earth --
Sam 1 has never felt more alone than he does right now.
73.
120 EXT. ROVER/MOON SURFACE 120
The Rover viewed from outside. We can't hear a thing. Just
the endless and unrelenting MOON SILENCE.
Inside the Rover we are able to make out Sam 1, quivering
at the wheel as he sobs.
CUT TO:
121 INT. COMMS ROOM 121
CLOSE UP -- THE OLD MAN
The "ping-ping-ping" of an alarm.
Appearing on The Old Man's monitor: "RESCUE UNIT ELIZA:
ARRIVAL TIME, 12 HOURS and 22 MINUTES."
CUT TO:
122 INT. REC ROOM -- DAY 122
Sam 2 is sitting before the model. He's flipped it back
over and returned it to the table top. Now he is attempting
to fix some of the demolished pieces. At this moment he's
gluing the spire back on the church.
Sam 2 hears a sound from the corridor. Moments later Sam 1
appears in the doorway wearing the backpack.
Sam 1 is beginning to look alarmingly ILL. His depleting
health has been evident throughout the film, but now it
seems to have jumped to a new level.
He watches Sam 2 for a little while.
SAM 1
Want me to help?
Sam 2 shifts over to give Sam 1 the adjacent chair. Sam 1
walks over, sits down. Together they work on gluing the
church back together.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
Remember that crazy drunk guy who
used to hang out by the church?
SAM 2
Barbara Streisand?
74.
SAM 1
(with a smile)
He looked like Barbara Streisand.
We used to hide his Bible when he
passed out. Drove the guy nuts.
Sam 2 nods, remembering. A pause.
SAM 2
How do you carve these things?
SAM 1
Want me to show you?
Sam 2 nods. Sam 1 picks up a block of wood, grabs an exacto
blade. Demonstrates.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
You need to hold the wood away
from you. Like this.
SAM 2
You're shaking.
Sam 2 isn't kidding. Though he is carving the block of
wood, Sam 1 can't keep it steady.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Why are you shaking?
SAM 1
Watch what I'm doing.
(then)
You watching?
SAM 2
Yeah.
SAM 1
Now you try.
Sam 1 hands the wood and exacto blade to Sam 2.
Sam 2 attempts to whittle. He smiles, a little embarrassed.
SAM 2
I suck.
SAM 1
You'll get the hang of it.
(a beat)
You see, that's a little better
already.
75.
Suddenly Sam 1 turns around and has a vicious coughing fit.
It actually seems to propel Sam 1 out of his chair and up
onto his feet. Sam 2 watches with concern. Eventually the
coughing subsides.
SAM 2
What's happening to you?
Sam 1 averts his gaze.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Listen, I realize I've been less
than cooperative. But I want to
change that. You and me, we need
to work together. And that starts
with not keeping secrets from
each other.
(a beat)
Now what's going on?
Sam 1 tells the truth.
SAM 1
I think I'm dying.
Sam 2 stares back at him.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
There's blood in everything. My
urine. My vomit. I've got a
constant headache. Dizzy spells.
(a beat)
The same thing happened to the
other clones. I saw it when I
hacked into the Old Man. After
three years they all started to
get sick. Now it's happening to
me. Well, it's been happening for
a while now. A couple of weeks.
SAM 2
What do you think it is?
SAM 1
Maybe we don't live that long.
Maybe we start to decompose or
something.
SAM 2
Jesus.
Suddenly Sam 1 closes his eyes -- SWAYS -- looks like he's
going to pass out.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Hey hey hey, you okay?
76.
Sam 2 stands and moves to Sam 1. Holds him up, checks his
temperature.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Why don't you lie down for a
while? Take some tranqs. Get
some sleep.
SAM 1
(grim smile)
No tranqs. I don't think I would
ever wake up again.
Sam 1 manages a nod.
Sam 2 hooks his arm around Sam 1's shoulder, helps him from
the room.
123 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS 123
Sam 2 deposits Sam 1 onto the bed. He removes Sam 1's
backpack, eases a pillow under his head. Sam 1 is instantly
asleep. Sam 2 pulls the comforter over him.
Sam 2 begins to leave the room, sees Sam 1's backpack on
the floor, the VP sticking out of it. Curious, Sam 2 grabs
the VP.
FLASHING on the VP's SCREEN: "Last Transmission: 15:14pm."
CUT TO:
124 INT. REC ROOM 124
Sam 2 enters the Rec Room and shuts the door. He moves to
one of the tables and sits down, POPS on the VP.
ON THE VP MONITOR we begin to re-watch the conversation
between Eve Bell and Sam 1. Obviously we are only seeing
Eve's face on the screen, but WE HEAR Sam 1's voice in the
background.
SAM 1 (O.S.)
Uh, Bell Residence?
EVE
This is the Bell residence.
SAM 2
(commenting as he
watches)
No you didn't...
SAM 1 (O.S.)
I'm trying to reach Tess Bell.
77.
EVE
I'm sorry, she passed away some
years ago.
Sam 2 and Sam 1 have exactly the same reaction at the same
time.
SAM 1 (O.S.) SAM 2
No...no way. No...no way.
SAM 1 (O.S.)
Tess Bell? Are you sure?
EVE
Uh, yeah, I think so, I'm her
daughter.
(then)
Can I help you?
I'm her daughter. A couple of days ago Sam 2 didn't know he
had a daughter, and now he's seeing her as a teenager, a
young woman. He is stunned.
Sam 2 continues to watch the message but we
CUT TO:
125 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS -- DAY 125
Sam 1 fast asleep. Sam 2 watches him from the doorway.
126 INT. STORAGE CUBBY 126
Gerty is just continuing with his tasks like nothing is
happening. Right now he's STACKING ready-meals and
miscellaneous lunar snacks into neat columns.
Sam 2 walks up.
SAM 2
Gerty, I need to talk to you.
GERTY
Of course, Sam, how can I help?
SAM 2
We found the hidden room. We know
about the other clones.
A long pause. Then:
GERTY
I don't know of a hidden room.
78.
SAM 2
The hidden room under the Return
Vehicle, Gerty. You know what I'm
talking about. We found it on our
own. Lunar doesn't know anything
about it.
A beat.
GERTY
The lower deck is out of bounds
to awakened clones --
SAM 2
Ordinarily, Gerty, but what with
there being two of us awake at
the same time, and what with the
situation being unprecedented,
the rules have had to change. Do
you understand?
GERTY
I understand the situation is
unprecedented.
SAM 2
Good.
(a beat)
Gerty, how long does it take for
a clone to wake up?
GERTY
A clone is awake the moment his
pod is opened. But he is not
fully conscious for several
hours.
A beat.
SAM 2
Gerty, we need to wake up a new
clone.
GERTY
I am not permitted to do that,
Sam.
SAM 2
If we don't wake up another clone
me and the other Sam will die.
We'll die, Gerty. Do you
understand?
GERTY
Yes.
79.
SAM 2
Do you want me and the other Sam
to die?
GERTY
That is the last thing I want.
SAM 2
Then you have to wake up a new
clone. Okay, pal?
Sam 2 waits for a response. And waits.
CUT TO:
127 INT. COMMS ROOM 127
CLOSE UP -- THE OLD MAN
The "ping-ping-ping" of an alarm.
Appearing on The Old Man's monitor: "RESCUE UNIT ELIZA:
ARRIVAL TIME, 6 HOURS and 19 MINUTES."
CUT TO:
128 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS 128
Sam 1 fast asleep in bed.
129 SAM 1'S DREAM 129
A stretch of green grass dissected by a dirt path. A light
breeze. Endless blue sky above. No clouds. No visible sun.
130 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS 130
Back on the sleeping Sam 1. Deep breaths. Eyelids twitching
slightly.
131 SAM 1'S DREAM -- CONTINUED 131
In the distance, sitting beneath a tree on a blanket, we
see TESS BELL. She is removing items from a picnic basket.
Sam enters the frame, his back to the camera. He watches
his wife for a few moments, maintaining his distance.
Tess looks up and sees Sam. She lifts her hand, waves.
80.
ON SAM -- IN THE DREAM
Sam's expression is blank at first, but then he smiles at
Tess, waves back.
132 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS 132
Sam 1's eyes open slowly. He's awake.
Was his dream a memory? A premonition? Or was it simply
made up?
ANOTHER ANGLE -- SAM 1
A BLEARY Sam 1 yawns and stretches his arms over his head.
He reaches across the bed and rips a couple of tissues from
a box of Kleenex, blows his nose.
Afterwards he checks the tissues: a thick RED GOO came out
of his nose, the color and consistency of tomato pur�e.
Yeah, gross.
Sam 1 rolls out of bed, plants his feet on the ground.
The base seems eerily quiet. Too quiet. Sam 1 stands and
crosses to the door.
133 INT. CORRIDOR 133
Sam 1 begins to walk left, down towards the Rec Room and
the Monitoring Station, but hesitates -- he turns the other
way, towards the Infirmary, heads that way instead.
134 INT. INFIRMARY -- CONTINUOUS 134
Lying in one of the Infirmary beds, eyes closed, a NETWORK
of WIRES attached to his chest...Sam. We don't know which
Sam it is yet. He is clean shaven. He looks like any one of
the clones down in the secret chamber; then again he could
just as easily be Sam 2.
And that's what Sam 1 naturally assumes as he enters the
Infirmary and sees him lying there. Sam 1 moves closer,
curious, until he is standing right at the edge of the bed.
Sam 1 reaches out his hand to wake him up when there is a
voice from the doorway behind:
SAM 2
Don't touch him.
81.
Our suspicions are now confirmed. The Sam in the Infirmary
bed is a new clone. We will call him SAM 3.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
He's not conscious yet. Gerty and
I only woke him up a few hours
ago.
Sam 1 is not even remotely on the same page.
SAM 1
Why?
Sam 2 puts his finger to his lips. Then:
SAM 2
Come to the Rec Room.
Sam 2 turns and leaves. Sam 1 follows slowly, one or two
glances at the sleeping clone along the way.
135 INT. REC ROOM 135
We cut straight to the Rec Room and the conversation
between Sam 1 and Sam 2.
SAM 2
When the Rescue Unit arrives
they'll expect to find a body in
the crashed Rover, right?
(a beat)
We've got our body.
SAM 1
(points towards the
Infirmary)
That guy?
Sam 2 nods.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
They'll expect to find a dead
body in the crashed Rover.
SAM 2
I know.
SAM 1
(stunned)
You're going to kill him?
SAM 2
Someone's got to pull the short
straw here, better someone who's
unconscious than you or me.
82.
Sam 1 simply digesting the gravity of Sam 2's plan.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
If we go through with this, I'm
going to need your help hauling
him out to the crash site.
SAM 1
What about us? Eliza arrives,
finds you and me as the welcome
party --
SAM 2
They're not going to find you and
me as the welcome party, they're
going to find me. You're going to
blast back to Earth before they
get here in one of the Helium 3
containers.
(a beat)
You're going home.
Sam 1 wasn't expecting that.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
You've done your three years. I
can't expect you to stick around.
Maybe you can meet Eve in person.
A beat.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
I saw the message on the VP. Eve
is beautiful. She looks like her
mom.
Sam 1 realizes that Sam 2 knows everything. There are no
secrets between them now.
They both absorb the impact of knowing Tess is dead.
Finally:
SAM 1
How do you think she died?
SAM 2
I don't know.
(then)
Jane died of cancer. I mean, it
was in the family. Who knows? Or
maybe it was an accident? Could
have been a million things.
SAM 1
I wish I'd been there.
83.
SAM 2
Yeah. Me too.
The two Sams sitting together, UNITED by their grief.
CUT TO:
136 EXT. MOON BASE -- DAY 136
Shot of Selene from across the lunar plane. The base looks
almost peaceful. No evidence of the DRAMA going on inside.
137 INT. CORRIDOR 137
The two Sams are testing out the CARGO CONTAINER to see if
their plan is going to work and Sam 1 can actually fit
inside.
These containers were designed to carry cannisters of
Helium 3, not to accommodate human beings.
Sam 1 looks in increasingly bad shape. Blanket draped
around his shoulders -- gaunt, bobbing, shivering.
SAM 2
Go for it.
Sam 1 hunches and slowly insinuates himself into the
container -- yes, he fits, but it's tight, like really
tight -- Sam 1 can anticipate one hell of a stiff neck by
the time he steps out onto terra firma.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Comfy?
SAM 1
No.
Sam 2 chuckles.
SAM 2
But you fit. That's good. You
fit.
With a HEAVE Sam 2 PULLS Sam 1 from the container.
CUT TO:
138 INT. INFIRMARY -- DAY 138
Gerty is running tests on the unconscious Sam 3.
84.
Sam 1 and Sam 2 stand on opposite sides of the room. Both
clones seem uneasy. They can't look at each other. They
can't look at Sam 3. Their eyes roam every inch of the room
just about before finally settling on Gerty.
Regardless of Sam 3 being unconscious, are they really
going to kill him?
CUT TO:
139 INT. COMMS ROOM 139
Sam 2 sits at the comms unit recording the message, a smile
plastered on his face, as WIDE as it is FAKE.
SAM 2
Sam Bell reporting to Central.
19:14 Pacific Time. Lunar Day 14.
(a beat)
Evening Overmeyers, evening
Thompson! According to the Old
Man Rescue Unit Eliza will be
here in just over three hours.
Not a moment too soon! I never
thought I'd say this, but I want
to get out there, I want to work.
I feel like a kid who's been
grounded. Looking forward to
Eliza straightening everything
out and things getting back to
normal around here. Well...that's
it. I'll let you know how it
goes. Over and out, gentlemen.
Sam 2 sends the message, his SMILE instantly COLLAPSING. He
mutters under his breath:
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
Bastards.
140 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS -- DAY 140
Sam 1 is sitting on the edge of his bed holding the
photograph of the pregnant Tess -- staring with great
concentration -- almost penetrative -- like he's trying to
will himself into the photograph.
We find out what's running through his head, cutting to:
141 SAM 1'S DREAM 141
Sam 1 has gone back to his dream -- or his vision -- of
Tess sitting on the picnic blanket beneath the tree.
85.
Sam and Tess continue to wave to one another. Sam hasn't
moved. Tess calls out:
TESS
Come on!
Suddenly we hear a voice.
SAM 2 (O.S.)
Sam?
142 INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS 142
Sam 2 is standing at the door. Sam 1 looks up at him.
SAM 2
We need to do it. We need to do
it now. He'll be conscious any
minute.
(a beat)
We've been putting it off for
long enough.
Sam 1 stares back at Sam 2 with defiance.
SAM 1
We don't have to do anything. I
changed my mind.
Sam 2 isn't following.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
I'm not going back.
(a beat)
I'm coughing up blood, I'm as
white as a ghost. I look like I
belong in a graveyard. I meet Eve
now, I'll scare the shit out of
her more than anything else.
D'you think she'll even come
within ten feet of me, the way I
look?
SAM 2
What are you talking about?
She's your daughter, man! She's
not going to care what you...
SAM 1
(angry)
She's not! She's not... my
daughter. At least, I'm not her
father. Not to her.
Sam 2 keeps quiet.
86.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
I'll put myself in the Rover,
I'll be the body -- it was me to
begin with anyway, right? You go
back to Earth. You go back.
You're healthy. You've got three
years ahead of you. You stand a
much better chance than I do. The
other guy....Gerty can get him up
to speed...he can be here to meet
Eliza when they arrive.
Sam 1 seems to have it all figured out. Although Sam 2
should in some ways be relieved by Sam 1's decision, he
looks closer to distraught.
SAM 2
This is wrong. What are we
supposed to do? Sit around here
and wait to die? Fuck that!
SAM 1
I don't know.
(beat)
It's what we were designed to do.
Both Sams struggle to hold in their emotions; Sam 1 morose,
Sam 2 angry.
SAM 2
Screw that! I'll go! ...And I'm
going to find this asshole, Sam
Bell, and ask him why the hell he
put us through this shit!
Sam 1 looks concerned. Sam 2 reads his mind.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
I'll be careful. I'll keep Eve
out of it. She wont even know I
exist.
Sam 1 smiles wearily, watching his old self.
SAM 1
You're a good guy, Sam.
SAM 2
I might stop shaving; It suits
us.
(beat)
If all our memories are implants,
no disrespect, but I think its
about time I got some of my own,
as well.
87.
SAM 1
Yeah. You should travel. I've
always wanted to do that.
SAM 2
I'd like that.
CUT TO:
143 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE -- DAY 143
Driving to the crash site. Sam 2 at the wheel, Sam 1 riding
shotgun. Both men staring ahead in silence.
MATTHEW
Where all the trouble really started. Matthew, the stalled
Harvester, with the crashed Rover still trapped beneath it.
The crash site is beginning to resemble some old underwater
shipwreck.
The Rover enters the frame, beginning to slow down as it
approaches the crash site. Sam 2 rolls the Rover to a
standstill about ten feet from the front of the Harvester.
144 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE -- MOMENTS LATER 144
Sam 2 keeps the engine running as Sam 1 takes a handful of
TRANQUILIZERS one by one, washing down each pill with a
swig from a bottle of water.
Afterwards: a long pause. The two Sams sitting side by
side, staring across the bleak landscape. Neither of them
wants to say good-bye particularly.
SAM 1
Tess came in for the interview,
remember?
Sam 2 is nodding away. Of course he remembers.
SAM 1 (CONT'D)
She was so beautiful. Even if she
wasn't the best candidate, I just
knew I had to give her the job. I
thought she was so sweet.
(a beat)
And then it was the end of the
summer.
SAM 2
She was going back to San
Francisco.
(MORE)
88.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
You knew you had to take a
chance. So you called her.
You were terrified and wrote that
whole speech for her answer
machine --
(a beat)
But I didn't need it because Tess
answered the phone. And I could
tell in her voice as we talked,
she was thinking...
"Why has Sam called me?"
"The internship's over, why's he
called me at home?"
And then I asked her if she was
going to Adrian Fiddle's barbecue
and...
Sam 1 has dropped off to sleep. The back and forth exchange
is now essentially Sam 2's monologue.
SAM 2 (CONT'D)
That's when I knew she liked me.
Because she didn't want to talk
to anyone else! She'd get up, get
some potato salad, go to the
bathroom, but she'd always come
back. And then we kissed. On the
steps in front of her apartment
building.
Sam 2 finally turns and looks at Sam 1. Sam 1's head cocked
to one side, eyes closed.
Sam 2 lifts the helmet off Sam 1's lap -- carefully lowers
the helmet onto Sam 1's head.
145 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE 145
Sam 2 LOPES towards the crashed rover holding Sam 1 in both
arms like a bride. He places Sam 1 on the ground and PRIZES
open the rover door -- he slowly slides Sam 1 inside.
Inside the Rover Sam 1 lies with his head jammed awkwardly
against the passenger side door. At once he looks peaceful
and wretchedly uncomfortable.
Sam 2 can barely bring himself to look at Sam 1. With both
hands he FORCES the door CLOSED, pivots around and slowly
BOBS back to his rover.
146 I/E. ROVER/MOON SURFACE -- MOMENTS LATER 146
Sam 2 driving back to base. He has removed his helmet and
is brushing tears from his eyes with his glove.
CUT TO:
89.
147 INT. COMMS ROOM 147
CLOSE UP -- THE OLD MAN
The "ping-ping-ping" of an alarm.
Appearing on The Old Man's monitor: "RESCUE UNIT ELIZA:
ARRIVAL TIME, 1 HOUR and 40 MINUTES."
CUT TO:
148 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 148
Gerty is continuing to run tests on Sam 3. Sam 2 enters. He
carries the freighted exhaustion of a man who has just
completed a long and difficult journey.
SAM 2
How long before he's conscious,
Gerty?
GERTY
The new clone will be conscious
within one hour.
SAM 2
That's good. That's very good.
GERTY
Sam? Where is Sam?
SAM 2
He's gone home, Gerty.
Sam 2 leaves.
149 INT. MONITORING STATION -- DAY 149
Sam 2 is loading OXYGEN CANISTERS into the CARGO CONTAINER
in preparation for his trip back to Earth.
Sam 2 working FAST, a sense of URGENCY. Eliza will be there
in a mere 90 minutes! It's coming down to the wire.
Gerty glides in as he works.
GERTY
Sam, this is not going to work.
SAM 2
What? Why not?
90.
Now Sam 2 loads food into the cargo container -- moon
snacks, rations, etc. -- and bottles of water. His final
addition is a 5 kilo load of precious Helium3; A good 15
million dollars worth!
GERTY
If the Rescue Unit examine my
memory banks they will discover
what has taken place over the
last week. As you know I record
everything. If they are
suspicious, the first thing they
will do is search my memory
banks, and this would put you in
considerable danger.
Sam 2 straightens up, giving Gerty his full attention now.
This is serious. It could ruin everything.
The fact that Gerty has brought it up indicates that the
robot's loyalties lie ultimately with Sam.
GERTY (CONT'D)
I recommend erasing my memory
banks. I can reboot myself once
you have departed.
SAM 2
So that's what we're going to
have to do.
(beat)
Are you ok with that?
GERTY
I'll require your assistance,
Sam.
SAM 2
Sure, just let me finish this.
Sam 2 continues his work.
CUT TO:
150 INT. INFIRMARY -- DAY 150
Sam 3 asleep in bed, very close to consciousness.
CUT TO:
151 I/E. CRASHED ROVER/MOON SURFACE 151
Sam 1 inside the crashed rover, resembling a wild animal
pinned in a trap. He's still breathing.
91.
SAM 1'S DREAM
Once again we see Tess beneath the tree sitting on the
blanket. She looks over at Sam, continuing to wave.
TESS
Come on, Sam! Sam Bell! Come on!
Sam begins to walk towards Tess.
152 I/E. CRASHED ROVER/MOON SURFACE 152
Back on Sam 1. The glass of his helmet is beginning to MIST
with blood. Sam sees a sliver of the sun as he dawns on his
side of the moon. He closes his eyes for the last time.
CUT TO:
153 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 153
Sam 2 stands before Gerty.
SAM 2
I've set your computer to reboot
the second I've blasted off.
GERTY
Okay, Sam.
SAM 2
Thanks for all your help, Gerty.
I wish I could say I was going to
miss you, buddy, but to be
honest, I can't wait to get away
from here.
GERTY
I understand, Sam. I hope life
is everything you remember it to
be.
SAM 2
Thanks. Are you sure you're
going to be ok?
GERTY
Of course. The new Sam and I
will be back to our programming
as soon as I have finished
rebooting.
SAM 2
Gerty, I'm not programmed.
92.
Gerty doesn't respond. Sam 2 seems troubled.
Sam 2 leans forward and activates the Memory Erase button.
Gerty's READOUT SCREEN begins to TWITCH and FLASH with
RANDOM DATA -- then slowly FADES TO BLACK.
The Robot has been officially SHUT DOWN.
Gerty just stands there. Completely still. As lifeless as a
toy.
Sam 2 heads out of the room at top speed.
154 EXT. MOON SURFACE 154
Shot of LUKE, the third of the Harvesters, heading across
the lunar plane.
155 INT. MONITORING STATION 155
Sam 2 pauses at the window...looking for Eliza. The Rescue
Unit is so close Sam 2 might actually be able to pick out
their spacecraft.
And he can! It's tiny, but nevertheless it's there -- a
metallic spacecraft, glinting like a jewel -- and heading
steadily towards the Moon.
There isn't a moment to lose. Sam 2 swings around, heads
for the CARGO CONTAINER.
We remain inside the Monitoring Station as Sam 2 climbs
inside the Cargo Container He readies himself. Says a
little prayer and... he cant do it! Cursing at himself and
glancing at the time ticking away before Eliza lands, he
jumps back out of the CARGO CONTAINER and runs back into
the base.
CUT TO:
156 INT. MONITORING STATION 156
Sam 2 sits down before the Old Man. Eliza's imminent
arrival causing increased STRESS and TENSION.
Sam 2 takes out the piece of paper on which the COORDINATES
of the Jammers are printed out.
He starts to frantically type, altering the PATH of the
HARVESTERS.
93.
157 EXT. MARK 157
Mark trundling along at half-speed. The Harvester suddenly
changes direction -- veering sharply to the left and
heading up over a steep slope.
CUT TO:
158 INT. MONITORING STATION 158
Back on Sam 2 as he RAPIDLY types, makes an error, screams:
SAM 2
Fuck!
Pounds the delete button, continuing to type coordinates
into the Old Man -- He's done! He leaps out of his chair
and tears off through the base towards the cargo container.
CUT TO:
159 EXT. WIDE SHOT -- THE MOON 159
As Eliza's spacecraft sets its sights on Selene, we see the
Cargo Container ROCKET through the sky in the opposite
direction.
CUT TO:
160 INT. MOON BASE SELENE/QUICK SHOTS 160
For a few moments all is quiet inside the base.
The "PING-PING-PING" of the Old Man.
The grinding GURGLE of a computer readout.
This sequence echoes the tour at the very start of the
film, but the base has a decidedly different feel to it
now. It's like an abandoned house.
CUT TO:
161 INT. COMMS ROOM 161
CLOSE UP -- THE OLD MAN
On the monitor: "RESCUE UNIT ELIZA: ARRIVED."
94.
162 EXT. ELIZA'S SPACECRAFT/MOON SURFACE 162
A box shaped spacecraft, all menace and angles, slowly
DESCENDING towards the lunar surface.
CUT TO:
163 INT. INFIRMARY -- LATER 163
Gerty sits lifeless.
We hear the sounds of pressure doors opening. Unrecognized
voices as the landing crew enters the base, calling for
Sam.
Gerty comes to life.
His principal monitor POPS ON and his pincer-like HANDS
begin to TWITCH. His READOUT SCREEN streams with DATA.
Gerty's head begins to swivel left and right -- as if he's
awoken with a stiff neck -- eventually he SEES Sam 3,
crosses to him.
Just like that, Gerty continues his routine checks of Sam 3
-- studying Sam 3's heartbeat, his brain activity -- the
robot literally picking up where he left off.
And then Sam 3's eyes open. He is awake. He blinks at
Gerty, cloudy, groggy.
SAM 3
Where am I?
GERTY
Sam, you're in the Infirmary. You
had an accident.
Sam 3 staring ahead, trying to dig up the memory.
GERTY (CONT'D)
Do you remember what happened?
SAM 3
No, Gerty.
(a beat)
I don't remember a thing.
We hear heavy footsteps and voices closer now, just outside
the infirmary.
CUT TO:
95.
164 EXT. MARK/JAMMER/MOON SURFACE 164
A CLOSE UP of MARK as the Harvester churns along and SLAMS
into an JAMMER with full force.
The Jammer wobbles unsteadily from the IMPACT, before
finally TOPPLING over, HAZING the air with lunar dust.
CUT TO:
165 EXT. CARGO CONTAINER/SPACE 165
The Cargo Container BULLETING through space, fire blasting
from its jets like the petals of an exotic flower.
CUT TO:
166 INT. CARGO CONTAINER 166
Sam 2 is seriously cramped inside one of the Helium 3
containers, about as comfortable as a pony in a dog kennel,
but nonetheless WHOOPING RAUCOUSLY at the sheer velocity of
the container -- as well as, and perhaps even more so, the
fact that he has successfully escaped the base.
He's going home.
CUT TO:
167 I/E. CRASHED ROVER/MOON SURFACE -- DAY 167
Sam 1 has stopped breathing. The sun shines on his face.
168 SAM'S DREAM 168
Sam walks towards Tess. He sits down in front of her on the
blanket.
A beautiful picnic is spread out before them. Tess has
never looked so radiant, so beautiful. Light from the sky
pours into her upturned face.
TESS
What took you so long?
Sam just smiles back at her. She hands him a bottle of wine
and a corkscrew.
CAMERA PANS UPWARD -- not a cloud in sight -- but we are
just able to pick out the chalky outline of the MOON,
resembling a white thumb print in the blue sky.
96.
HOLD THIS shot of the Moon for a few seconds before we
FADE TO BLACK.
169 INT. COMMS ROOM 169
On the Comms Unit monitor there is a BLAST of STATIC,
followed by a FLASHING MESSAGE:
"LIVE FEED AVAILABLE."
THE END
Man on the Moon
Man on the Moon (1999)
by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski.
FADE IN:
INT. VOID - DAY
Standing in a nonexistent set is ANDY KAUFMAN, looking a bit
nervous. Wide-eyed, tentative, he stares at us with a
needy, unsettling cuteness. His hair is slicked-down, and
he wears the "FRIENDLY WORLD" costume from the Andy Kaufman
special.
Finally, Andy speaks -- in a peculiar FOREIGN ACCENT.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
Hallo. I am Andy. Welcoom to my
movie.
(beat; he gets upset)
I hoped the story of my life would
be nice...but it turned out
terrible! It is all LIES! Tings
are mixed up... real people I knew
play different people. WHAT A MESS!
So I broke into Universal and cut
out the junk. Now it's much
shorter. In fact, this is the end
of the movie. So tanks for comink!
Bye-bye!
Andy puts a needle on a phonograph, and swelling CLOSING
CREDITS MUSIC starts to play. FINAL CREDITS roll.
Andy stands frozen, awkwardly looking at the audience.
Every time the music ends he picks up the needle and
restarts the music. He does that as many times as the
credits require.
Finally, CREDITS END. And then--a sly smile. He leans in.
DROPS HIS ACCENT and WHISPERS.
ANDY (AS REGULAR VOICE)
Okay! Just my friends are left. I
wanted to get rid of those other
people... they would have laughed in
the wrong places.
(beat)
I was only kidding about the
movie... it's actually PRETTY GOOD!
It shows everything... from me as a
little boy until my death --
(his eyes pop; he
covers his mouth)
Oops!! I wasn't supposed to talk
about that! Oh. Eh, uh, we better
just begin. It starts back in Great
Neck, Long Island...
Andy turns to a primitive 16mm PROJECTOR and turns it on.
WHIR! He smiles at the flickering light.
ANDY
Oh, yes. I remember it well...
We PUSH INTO the white light. It fills our frame, blazing
whiter, whiter...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. KAUFMAN HOUSE - 1957 - DAY
A BLACK AND WHITE image slowly becomes COLOR. Great Neck,
1957. An upper-class Jewish neighborhood. In the street,
crewcut BOYS play t-ball, laughing and shouting. A fat
convertible pulls up to the smallest house, and STANLEY
KAUFMAN, 40, gets out. Still in his suit, he's a well-
meaning slave to his job -- tired, responsible.
Stanley goes over to admire the t-ball game. At bat is his
son MICHAEL, 6, a natural charmer. Michael swings -- crack!
-- and hits a solid single. Stanley smiles.
STANLEY
That's my boy! Good swingin',
kiddo.
(warm beat; then a
look)
Hey -- Michael... where's your
brother?
MICHAEL
He's inside.
Instantly -- Stanley's mood turns black. He frowns angrily,
then snatches his briefcase and marches in.
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, KITCHEN - 1957 - DAY
Baby CAROL is crying. Mom JANICE, 35, quickly peels
carrots, trying to get dinner made. Stanley marches past.
STANLEY
Is he in his room?
JANICE
Of course he's in his room.
(aggravated)
All his "friends" are in there.
Stanley glowers. He huffs upstairs.
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, HALLWAY - 1957 - DAY
Stanley hurries up to Andy's shut door. We hear little Andy
doing VOICES.
ANDY (O.S.)
(as WORRIED GIRL)
But professor, why are the monsters
growing so big?
(now as BRITISH
PROFESSOR)
It's something in the jungle water.
I need to crack the secret code.
Stanley rolls his eyes. He opens the door...
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, ANDY'S ROOM - 1957 - DAY
...revealing ANDY, 8, performing for the wall. Andy is
happy and enthusiastic... as long as he's acting.
ANDY
(as BRITISH
PROFESSOR)
Maybe I should talk to the natives.
(as dancing NATIVES)
Shoom boom boo ba! Shoom boom boo
ba --
STANLEY
Andy!
ANDY
(startled)
Oh!
The boy suddenly turns off, becoming introverted... awkward.
Frustrated, Stanley stares at his son.
STANLEY
Andy, this has to stop. Our house
isn't a television station. There
is not a camera in that wall.
Andy glances over at the wall. Hmm.
STANLEY (cont'd)
(trying to cope)
Son... listen to me. It isn't
healthy. You should be outside,
playing sports.
ANDY
But I've got a sports show.
Championship wrestling, at five.
STANLEY
(he blows his top)
You know that's not what I meant!
Look, I'm gonna put my foot down!
No more playing alone. You wanna
perform, you GOTTA have an audience!
ANDY
(he points at the
wall)
B-but I have them.
STANLEY
No! That is NOT an audience! That
is PLASTER! An audience is people
made of flesh! They -- live and
breathe! Got it?!
Andy thinks, considering his options. Then, he nods.
CUT TO:
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, FAMILY ROOM - 1957 - LATER THAT DAY
Baby Carol sits in her crib. Andy's hands suddenly YANK her
out.
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, ANDY'S ROOM - 1957 - DAY
Andy hurries in and plops Carol down on the floor. She
dutifully sits there, deadpan.
Andy returns to the center of the room. He resumes his
show.
ANDY
(as KIDDIE SHOW
HOST)
And now, boys and girls! It's time
for... TV Fun House!
(he makes an
APPLAUSE SOUND)
Hi, everybody! Are you ready for a
singalong? I'll say the animal, and
you make his sound! Okay...? Okay!
(he starts to SING)
"Oh, the cow goes........."
Carol stares, unblinking. Then --
CAROL
Moo.
ANDY
(he smiles, pleased)
"And the dog goes......"
CAROL
WOOF!
ANDY
"And the cat says......"
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. NY NIGHTCLUB - 1975 - NIGHT
TIGHT on ANDY, now GROWN UP. 26-years-old, still performing
the song.
DRUNK AUDIENCE
MEOW!!
WIDE - It's a small, hip New York nightclub.
ANDY
"And the bird says..."
DRUNK AUDIENCE
TWEET!!
ANDY
"And the lion goes..."
DRUNK AUDIENCE
ROAR!!
ANDY
"And that's the way it goes!"
(he grins)
Thank you. Goodbye!
Andy waves and bows. There's faint scattered applause.
Andy sighs. An irritated MANAGER steps onstage. He shoots
Andy a disgruntled look, then takes the mike.
MANAGER
The comedy stylings of Andy Kaufman,
Ladies and Gentlemen!
In the b.g., Andy starts packing up his props: Hand puppets,
conga drums, a phonograph... it all goes into a big bulky
case.
CUT TO:
INT. NY NIGHTCLUB - 1975 - LATER THAT NIGHT
The club is empty. At the bar, the manager cleans up. Andy
eagerly comes over. Offstage, his presence is soft, placid
-- his voice barely above a whisper.
ANDY
So, Mr. Besserman, same slot
tomorrow...?
MANAGER
(awkward)
Eh, I dunno... Andy. I'm...
thinkin' of letting you go...
ANDY
You're firing me??
(beat)
You don't even pay me!
MANAGER
Look -- I don't wanna seem
insulting. But... your act is like
amateur hour: Singalongs...
puppets... playing records...
A stunned beat. Andy is hurt.
ANDY
What do you want? "Take my wife,
please"??
MANAGER
Sure! Comedy! Make jokes about the
traffic. Do impressions. Maybe a
little blue material...
ANDY
I don't swear. I -- I don't do what
everyone else does!
MANAGER
Well, everyone else gets this place
cookin'! Pal, it's hard for me to
move the booze when you're singin'
"Pop Goes The Weasel."
Andy stares, disheartened.
MANAGER (cont'd)
I'm sorry. You're finished here.
An uncomfortable beat -- and then Andy starts crying.
The manager is dumbfounded. He doesn't know what to do.
Tears are rolling pitifully down Andy's cheeks. The manager
is confused -- totally disoriented. Shamed, Andy covers his
face, then runs out. Silence. The manager stares after
him... having no idea what just happened.
EXT. NY NIGHTCLUB - 1975 - NIGHT
Sobbing Andy bursts out the door. He steps onto the
sidewalk -- and IMMEDIATELY STOPS CRYING. Just like that.
Andy lifts his big case and starts walking. Andy shakes his
head angrily.
He turns down a dark street, hurrying alone through an
unsavory New York neighborhood. But then... TWO MEN
appear... silently approaching. Andy stops uncertainly --
debating whether to turn around. But in that second -- the
thugs are upon him, glaring menacingly.
THUG #1
Give us your wallet.
Andy stares fearfully. An anxious moment. He thinks...
considering his options.
Then, he suddenly stammers in a thick FOREIGN ACCENT.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
I -- doo not unterstand!!
THUG #1
Give us your money!
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
What?? What mooney? Abu daboo! I
do not have mooney!
The thugs glance at each other.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
Pleaze! I just move to America
yezterday! I do not know!
THUG #1
What's in the case?
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
NO! Eeet, eet is just perzonal
trifles from my homeland --
THUG #2
Shut up! Gimme that thing!
The guy snatches the case. He impulsively BREAKS the
lock... and clothes, congas and records fall out.
The thugs are dismayed.
THUG #1
Goddamn immigrants!
THUG #2
This guy's pathetic. Let's go.
Harsh glances. They angrily turn and leave.
Andy takes a nervous breath, then starts picking his things
off the street. He shouts after the guys:
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
Tank you veddy much...!
CUT TO:
EXT. NY IMPROV - 1975 - NIGHT
The Improv, the biggest comedy club around. People are
lined up, waiting. The man strides up -- GEORGE SHAPIRO, a
Hollywood talent manager. George is old school: Bronx
accent, shmooze and a hug... but with a surprising sweetness
that is quite disarming. A DOORMAN sees him, grins, and
waves George in.
INT. NY IMPROV, BAR - 1975 - NIGHT
The bar is packed with COMICS and SHOW BIZ TYPES. A few
turn and smile -- "George!" "Hey, George!" George takes a
couple hands, whispers to someone else, then drifts into
the...
INT. NY IMPROV, SHOWROOM - 1975 - NIGHT
Where the show's in progress. Owner BUDD FRIEDMAN sees
George and gives him a bear-hug. Then he hustles George to
a table.
George sits -- and gives the stage his undivided attention.
Up there is a WISEASS COMIC.
WISEASS COMIC
So I'm getting my mother-in-law a
special Christmas present: A pre-
paid funeral! The mortician asked
me if I wanted her buried, embalmed
or cremated. I said, "Make it all
three! I'm not takin' any chances!"
(the crowd LAUGHS)
Thank you. Good night!
The comic waves and exits. APPLAUSE. George politely
claps. A PIANO PLAYER jumps in with an upbeat show tune.
We think there's a break... when Andy suddenly, awkwardly
steps on stage. He is in character as Foreign Man. Pink
jacket, tie, hair slicked back, frightened like a deer in
headlights. He puts down his big case, pulls out various
junk, and arranges it on chairs.
The room hushes, uncertain as to who the hell this guy is.
Andy tentatively grabs the mike. The stagefright is agony.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
Now? Now...?
(looking around)
Tank you veddy much. I am very
happy to be here. I tink -- this is
a very beautiful place. But one
ting I do not like is too much
traffic. Tonight I had to come
from, eh, and the freeway, it was so
much traffic. It took me an hour
and a half to get here!
Andy chuckles, as if this were a punchline.
Silence. The crowd is baffled.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
But -- talking about the terrible
things: My wife. Take my wife,
please take her.
Yikes. A few NERVOUS LAUGHS.
Andy gestures, as if they got the joke.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
No really, I am only foolink. I
love my wife very much. But she
don't know how to cook. You know,
one time, she make a steak and
mashed potato. Ehh, and the night
before, she make spaghetti and
meatballs. Her cooking is so bad...
is terrible.
People are embarrassed. Some avert their eyes. A couple
hipsters laugh mockingly.
George leans forward. Andy wipes the sweat from his brow.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
Right now, I would like to do for
you some imitations. So first, I
would like to imitate Archie Bunker.
(no change in his
voice)
"You stupid, everybody ees stupid!
Ehh, get, get out of my chair
Meathead... go in the, eh, Dingbat
get into the kitchen, making the
food! Ehh, everybody ees stupid! I
don't like nobody, ees so stupid!"
Tank you veddy much.
(pleased, he proudly
bows)
Now I would like to imitate Jimmy
Carter, the President of the United
States.
(no change in his
voice)
"Hello, I am Jimmy Carter, the
President of the United States."
Some people BOO and walk out. A few giggle, getting into
the groove.
George is intrigued.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
And now... I would like to imitate
the Elvis Presley.
A woman LAUGHS caustically. Andy grins stupidly, then turns
his back to us. He presses "Play" on a CASSETTE RECORDER...
and the THEME FROM 2001 starts playing.
House lights dim dramatically. With a flourish, Andy pulls
tape off his pants -- revealing rhinestones. He removes his
pink coat -- putting on a white jeweled jacket.
He combs his hair.
Then he brushes his hair.
Then he combs his hair some more.
Finally he picks up a guitar, strikes a pose -- and spins
around.
He is ELVIS. CONFIDENT. SEXY. LIP CURL. DEAD-ON PERFECT.
The crowd is blown away.
Vegas Elvis INTRO MUSIC suddenly blasts. Andy/Elvis
swaggers stage left and takes a bow. Then he goes stage
right and takes a bow. Then he returns stage left for
another bow.
Music STOPS.
ANDY (AS ELVIS)
Thank you very much.
Wow. Flabbergasted, people APPLAUD. This man is Elvis.
Suddenly -- "JAILHOUSE ROCK" guitar kicks in.
ANDY (AS ELVIS) (cont'd)
(SINGING)
"Warden threw a party
In the county jail!
Prison band was there
And they BEGAN to WAIL!"
ANGLE - GEORGE
He is astonished. George cannot quite figure out what's
going on... but he wants in.
He waves Budd over. Budd leans down, and George WHISPERS.
GEORGE
Pst. What's the story with this
guy?
BUDD
I think he's Lithuanian. None of us
can understand him.
George nods admiringly.
GEORGE
He does a hell of an Elvis.
CUT TO:
INT. NY IMPROV, BACKSTAGE - 1975 - LATER THAT NIGHT
Andy is packing up his things. He very methodically folds
each item of clothing, then checks the creases.
George strolls up.
GEORGE
Hey, I really enjoyed your set.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
Tank you veddy much.
GEORGE
So I understand you're from
Lithuania?
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
No. Caspiar.
George is puzzled.
GEORGE
Caspiar? I haven't heard of that.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
It's a veddy small island in de
Caspian Sea.
(beat)
It sunk.
GEORGE
Oh. Hm. I'm uh, sorry.
(beat)
Well, look, I'm probably out of my
mind -- but I think you're very
interesting. If you ever need
representation... we should talk.
George hands him a BUSINESS CARD. Andy reads it -- then his
eyes pop. He DROPS the accent.
ANDY
Mr. Shapiro, it's an honor!!
George realizes it's all been an act. He laughs heartily.
GEORGE
Caspiar, huh?!
CUT TO:
INT. SOHO HEALTH FOOD RESTAURANT - NIGHT
A Bohemian health food restaurant, staffed by hippie
waitresses in sandals. Andy and George sit together, trying
to get a sense of each other.
ANDY
You see, I want to be the biggest
star in the world.
George is surprised at this hubris.
GEORGE
People love... comedians.
ANDY
I'm not a comedian. I have no
talent.
(he shrugs)
I'm a song-and-dance man.
George looks up at Andy -- and inexplicably there is a giant
MOIST BOOGER hanging from Andy's nostril.
George cringes. He doesn't know what to say.
A waitress brings over two plates of awful 70's HEALTH FOOD
-- seaweed, beans, stringy paste. George frowns. Andy
beams.
ANDY (cont'd)
Mmm! I particularly recommend the
Lotus root.
Andy pulls out a little Handi-wipe and cleanses his hands.
Then he starts arranging the food in compulsive little
piles: Beans in pinwheel shapes. Sprouts in piles.
George peers at the bizarre food behavior.
GEORGE
You show a lot of promise... but...
my concern is I don't know where to
book you. You're not a stand-up...
your act doesn't exactly translate
to films... help me... where do you
see yourself?
ANDY
(bright)
I've always wanted to play Carnegie
Hall.
George is unsure if that's a joke.
GEORGE
Yeah, ha-ha. That's funny.
Andy dips his silverware in the water glass. Two dunks,
then he dries it with his napkin.
George stares, perplexed. He looks back up -- and Andy's
booger has suddenly switched nostrils.
Huh?
ANDY
See, I don't want easy laughs.
Andy's about to eat -- but first bows his head in silent
prayer. George raises an eyebrow. Andy snaps his head back
up.
ANDY (cont'd)
I want gut reactions! I want that
audience to go through an
experience. They love me! They
hate me! They walk out -- it's all
GREAT!
Andy triumphantly eats a bean. George peers, unable to take
the booger anymore. He hands Andy a napkin and points to
his nose. Andy nods, removes the rubber booger, and
carefully puts it in a little box.
ANDY (cont'd)
After I'm famous, I can sell these
as "Worn by Andy Kaufman."
And at that... George is won over. He smiles broadly.
GEORGE
You're insane.
(then sincere)
But -- you might also be brilliant.
Alright, Andy... let's do it.
George warmly extends his hand.
Andy slowly smiles, then takes George's hand. The men
shake. A moment of supreme importance.
EST. BEVERLY HILLS - DAY
The glitz strip of Los Angeles. Money. Beauty.
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
Real working showbiz offices. No glamour at all. It looks
more like an insurance agency.
George sits in his office, reassuring someone on the phone.
GEORGE
Sammy, opening for David Brenner is
a fine gig. You'll be on the
road... get some exposure...
O.S., a SECRETARY shouts out.
SECRETARY (O.S.)
Tony Clifton on the phone!
GEORGE
Who?
SECRETARY (O.S.)
He says he's an associate of Andy
Kaufman's.
GEORGE
Oh.
(back to the phone)
Sammy, think about it. I gotta go.
(he punches a line)
Hello? George Shapiro here.
On the phone, a STACCATO, ABRASIVE NASAL VOICE blares.
TONY CLIFTON (V.O.)
Uh, yeah. Is this GEORGE SHAPIRO?
GEORGE
(beat)
Er, yes. Speaking.
TONY CLIFTON (V.O.)
"Speaking"! Reeking, seeking,
creaking... Freaking!
George is baffled.
GEORGE
Can I help you with something?
TONY CLIFTON (V.O.)
Yeah! You stay away from that Andy
Kaufman, if you know what's good for
you!
GEORGE
(stunned)
Who is this?
TONY CLIFTON (V.O.)
You -- you know damn straight who it
is. Tony Clifton! A name to
respect. A name to fear.
(beat)
Beer. Gear. Deer. Ear.
GEORGE
Look... I don't know what your
problem is...
TONY CLIFTON (V.O.)
Kaufman's a lying bastard! If you
sign him, I'll RUIN YOU!
CLICK. Clifton hangs up. George is bewildered.
INT. MEDITATION INSTITUTE UNIVERSITY, CLASSROOM - DAY
The light is magical. Soothing SITAR music plays. Andy and
fifteen other BAREFOOT STUDENTS sit on mats in a semi-
circle. Eyes shut, bodies in different yoga positions, they
are all meditating.
Facing them on a throne-like chair sits a reverent, Indian
YOGI. At his feet is the class teacher, LITTLE WENDY, a
teeny lady with an absurdly high-pitched voice.
LITTLE WENDY
Now, while continuing your deep
breathing, slowly open your eyes.
You should feel rested, relaxed, and
alert.
The students all open their eyes.
YOGI
Do any thoughts come...?
STUDENT #1
My mind is clear. I feel great.
YOGI
Good...
STUDENT #2
All the tension is gone from my
body.
The Yogi's eyes go to Andy. Andy smiles sweetly.
ANDY
I want to thank you, your Holiness.
My heart is radiating with pure
energy.
The Yogi nods kindly.
YOGI
You always had a good heart. But
I'm proud of the progress you've
made in your discipline.
ANDY
Yes. TM got me focused. In fact,
my manager got me a TV gig! It's
just some new show with no budget,
but I'm still excited.
Oh. The Yogi peers intently.
YOGI
Are you at peace with your family?
ANDY
Um, yes. I haven't fought with
them, since I started here.
YOGI
Goals are important.
ANDY
I stopped drinking. I gave up
drugs. And I'm meditating three
hours a day. It's the center of my
life...
YOGI
We are all impressed.
Andy smiles beatifically. This means a lot.
LITTLE WENDY
Okay. Anyone else --?
ANDY
Oh, wait! I have a question.
(beat; working up
his nerve)
Is there... is there a secret to
being funny?
Huh? The Yogi thinks hard... squinching up his face.
Then... he finally speaks.
YOGI
Yes. Silence.
CUT TO:
INT. SNL SET - NIGHT
An AUDIENCE sits, waiting for the commercial to end.
TECHIES tweak lights. CAMERAMEN get ready.
Sitting in VIP seats are Andy's FAMILY. Stanley and Janice
are in their late 50's, Michael and Carol in their 20's.
They're all anxious.
CAROL
I still can't believe my brother's
gonna be on TV...!
JANICE
I hope he doesn't get nervous.
STANLEY
What's the difference? This thing's
on in the middle of the night -- no
one's even gonna see it.
The commercial ends, and the "APPLAUSE" sign blinks. The
crowd APPLAUDS. An "ON THE AIR" sign lights up.
HOST
Welcome back to Saturday Night Live!
And now, as a special treat on our
first show... musical guest ANDY
KAUFMAN!!!
The SNL orchestra starts the intro into a song. Andy enters
the stage with a boom box, and positions himself in front of
the microphone. When the vocals are supposed to start, Andy
doesn't open his mouth. Instead he looks around --
frightened. The band stops... and starts again. Andy
remains mute. The Band stops again.
INT. SNL SET, BOOTH - NIGHT
The SNL producer, LORNE MICHAELS, looks worried.
LORNE MICHAELS
What's happening to him?
INT. SNL SET - NIGHT
At that moment, Andy puts the boom box down and blares it
loudly. The THEME FROM "MIGHTY MOUSE" plays -- but Andy
just blankly stands there.
He's purposefully doing nothing.
MIGHTY MOUSE THEME (V.O.)
"Although we are in danger,
We never despair,
Because we know where there is
danger
He is there!"
The audience is puzzled. The Kaufmans are alarmed.
INT. SNL SET, BOOTH - NIGHT
Lorne Michaels is panicked.
LORNE MICHAELS
Oh my God, he's doing nothing. It's
dead air...!
INT. SNL SET - NIGHT
BACK ON ANDY.
MIGHTY MOUSE THEME (V.O.)
"We're not worrying at all.
We're just listening for his
call..."
Then SUDDENLY -- Andy comes to life and triumphantly LIP
SYNCS.
MIGHTY MOUSE THEME (V.O.) (cont'd)
"Here I come to save the day!"
Shocked, the crowd HOWLS with LAUGHTER.
Then instantly -- Andy resumes his blank expression.
MIGHTY MOUSE THEME (V.O.) (cont'd)
"That means that Mighty Mouse is on
the way!"
The audience SCREAMS with glee. The tune ENDS, and the
audience APPLAUDS CRAZILY.
Delighted, Andy grins and bows.
The Kaufmans clap the hardest. Stanley locks eyes with
Andy... and the beaming father smiles the proudest of all.
CUT TO:
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
George jumps from his desk. Andy is walking in.
GEORGE
Andy, c'mon IN! Thanks for flyin'
out here!!
ANDY
The stewardess let me keep my
headphones.
GEORGE
That's... terrific! But I got
something better. This is BIG...
(giddy; milking the
moment)
You are getting a once-in-a-
lifetime, unbelievably lucrative
opportunity to star on... a
PRIMETIME NETWORK SITCOM!!!!
Andy's smile drops. He freezes up.
ANDY
Sitcom...?
GEORGE
And this is a CLASS ACT! It's the
guys who did the Mary Tyler Moore
and Bob Newhart shows! It takes
place in a taxi stand! And you're
gonna be the Fonzie!
ANDY
(confused)
I'm -- Fonzie?
GEORGE
NO! The Fonzie! The crazy breakout
character! The guy that all the
kids impersonate and put on their
lunchboxes!
ANDY
(soft)
George, I hate sitcoms.
GEORGE
HANG ON, you ain't heard the best
part! ABC has seen your foreign man
character, and they want to turn him
into --
(he checks his
notes)
"Latka," a lovable, goofy
mechanic!!!
Long pause. Then -- Andy responds.
ANDY
No.
GEORGE
"No"? "No" to which part??
ANDY
No to the whole thing. None of it
sounds good.
George is flummoxed.
GEORGE
Andy... this is every comedian's
dream.
ANDY
I told you, I'm not a comedian. And
sitcoms are the lowest form of
entertainment: Stupid jokes and
canned laughter.
GEORGE
(shocked)
B-but, this is classy... they did
Bob Newha--
ANDY
I'm not interested. I want to
create my own material.
Beat. George glares.
GEORGE
You have to do it.
ANDY
I refuse.
GEORGE
(he explodes)
LISTEN, you arrogant putz! I've
been in this business for twenty
years! I know! If you walk away
from this opportunity, you will
never, NEVER see another one like it
again!!!!
Long pause. Andy stares at George, amazed at this passion.
Then Andy gets up and looks around the office. He stares at
the awards... the gold records... emblems of success and
experience.
Andy thinks -- then nods.
ANDY
Okay. Fine, I'll do it.
(beat)
But I have a few terms.
GEORGE
(relieved)
Of course! That's what negotiations
are for.
Andy starts to write on a piece of paper.
GEORGE (cont'd)
What are you doing?
ANDY
Writing down my terms.
George watches patiently.
Andy clicks his pen, done. George smiles and takes the
list. He scans it... then his face gets totally befuddled.
GEORGE
Are you makin' fun of me --? This
is RIDICULOUS!
ANDY
(blasй)
Those are my terms.
GEORGE
They're IMPOSSIBLE!! Jesus!
(he points at one
item)
I mean -- "two guaranteed guest
shots for Tony Clifton"??! Who is
this TONY CLIFTON?!
ANDY
He's a Vegas entertainer. I used to
do impressions of him. We sorta...
got in a fight over that.
George gets a look.
GEORGE
This Clifton called me up. He's a
loon! He HATES you!
ANDY
Nah, he just talks tough. But I owe
him one.
Andy smiles ingenuously, then turns stern.
ANDY (cont'd)
If I'm the new Fonz... ABC's just
gonna have to give me what I want.
(a sarcastic FONZIE
IMPRESSION)
Heyyyyyy!
George winces. He stares at the list.
INT. ABC CONFERENCE ROOM - LA - DAY
George sits across a conference table from three NETWORK
SUITS. He stoically reads the men his demands.
GEORGE
Mr. Kaufman will only appear in half
the episodes.
(beat)
Mr. Kaufman requires an undisturbed
90 minutes of meditation prior to
filming.
(beat)
Mr. Kaufman won't rehearse.
(beat)
Mr. Kaufman gets his own network
Special.
The execs are stupefied. Finally -- George delivers the
clincher.
GEORGE (cont'd)
And Taxi must guarantee two guest
appearances to... Tony Clifton.
NETWORK GUYS
WHO???
GEORGE
Tony Clifton.
NETWORK GUY #1
Who is he?!
GEORGE
(solemn)
I don't know.
Long pause. The execs stare at George like he's lost his
mind.
GEORGE (cont'd)
But Andy says he's fabulous.
(awkward)
He also says, these are the terms.
The execs' leader, MAYNARD SMITH, shudders hopelessly.
NETWORK GUY #2
Couldn't Kaufman ask for more money,
like everyone else?
George slowly, sadly shakes his head: No.
Maynard glances at his team -- then frowns.
MAYNARD (cont'd)
George, we don't book phantom
performers. The deal's off.
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
GEORGE throws his attachй case on the desk, then slumps into
his chair. He picks up the phone and dials.
GEORGE
Andy?
ANDY (O.S.)
Hi George!
GEORGE
Eh, hi, Andy. Look, this Tony
Clifton... is he performing
anywhere?
ANDY (O.S.)
Of course.
(beat)
But only on Monday nights.
GEORGE
That's alright. Where...?
INT. MAMA ROMA'S - NIGHT
Mama Roma's, a dark Italian restaurant with red booths, wise
guys, and cigarette smoke.
The Maitre'd guides George to a booth. A small BAND fills
the "stage" -- a six-foot space in the back of the room.
The lights dim. A BLARING ANNOUNCER speaks.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And now, Mama Roma's is proud to
present International Singing
Sensation... a man who has sold more
records than Elvis and the Beatles
combined...
George is skeptical.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.) (cont'd)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr.
Entertainment... TONY CLIFTON!
The DRUMMER starts a drum roll. Patrons APPLAUD. A LIGHT
SPOT hits the entrance area... and nobody enters. The spot
is waiting... waiting... still waiting... until the drum
roll slows down and stops. The announcer BOOMS again.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.) (cont'd)
Ladies and Gentlemen, out of respect
for Mr. Clifton's vocal demands,
could everyone please extinguish
your cigarettes and cigars.
The crowd GRUMBLES angrily -- then irritably complies. One
ANGRY GUY thrusts his cigar into a water glass.
ANGRY GUY
Goddamn, I paid five dollars for
this.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And now! A man who needs no
introduction... TONY CLIFTON!
The band starts playing lounge standard "VOLARE". And then,
obnoxious TONY CLIFTON swaggers out. Tony has a rubbery
face, black wig and moustache, sunglasses, a padded belly,
and a peach tuxedo with blue shirt and velvet piping.
Tony stops, smirks at the audience, and sucks on a
cigarette. He blows smoke rings at them.
TONY CLIFTON
Heh-heh. How ya all doin'?
The crowd is furious.
ANGRY GUY
Fuck you!
People light back up and start talking. Tony ignores the
ruckus. He starts SINGING, pinched and off-key.
TONY CLIFTON
(singing)
"Volare!
Whoa, whoa.
Cantare,
Whoa whoa whoa whoa."
George winces. He's horrible.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
(singing)
"I got the wings of your love,
I got the wings of a dove.
I got the... uh...
(forgetting the
words)
... the chicken wings from
Eh, Kentucky Fried..."
The band is lost.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
Oh. Whoop do doo,
Whoop de di,
Stick a needle in your eye...
The band gives up and stops.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
Eh, the hell with that song.
One person CLAPS. Most BOO.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
So how ya doin'!
(leering)
How ya doin' over here? How ya
doin' over there?
(he approaches a
WOMAN)
How's that pasta carbonara?
WOMAN
Leave me alone.
TONY CLIFTON
Okay!
(he spins around)
So, you havin' a good time, sir?!
Tony approaches a LONELY SAD SACK sitting at the bar. Tony
thrusts his mike at the guy.
SAD SACK
Sure...
TONY CLIFTON
What's your name?
SAD SACK
Bob.
TONY CLIFTON
(he reacts as if
this is enormously
funny)
"Bob"? BOB! Bob bob bob.
(beat)
Bob what?
SAD SACK
Bob Gorsky.
TONY CLIFTON
"Gorsky"? What is that, Polish?
SAD SACK
(meek)
Yes.
Tony gets indignant.
TONY CLIFTON
Are you tryin' to do some of that
Polack humor? Well if that's so,
you can just get the hell out of
this restaurant!
SAD SACK
(timid)
It's my name.
TONY CLIFTON
SHUT UP! I hate them Polish jokes!
People are embarrassed.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
I do a clean show! Like, I wouldn't
do that one... oh, you know it...
"What do you call a pretty girl in
Poland"?
SAD SACK
(he giggles
stupidly)
A -- a tourist.
TONY CLIFTON
See, that's EXACTLY what I'm talkin'
about!
(enraged)
Here! I'LL give you a little humor!
Tony snatches Bob's water glass and POURS IT over his head!
George is appalled. The crowd is aghast. Bob is wet.
People BOO AND HURL THINGS.
Bob starts weeping, then bolts up and runs from the
building.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
And stay out, Fatso!
The room erupts, outraged. George covers his face, looking
ill. Suddenly, Tony snaps at him.
ANDY
And YOU. I wanna see you backstage!
George is rattled.
INT. MAMA ROMA'S, KITCHEN - LATER THAT NIGHT
The kitchen staff is working. George wanders around... then
finally spots Tony, back to us, eating pasta at the
employees' table. Aggravated, George aggressively steps up.
GEORGE
Alright, I'm here. What do you
want?
Tony puts down his fork. He pauses... slowly turns
around... and is Andy.
George GASPS. His eyes bulge.
Andy smiles innocently. He gestures to an empty seat.
ANDY
Are you hungry?
George is breathing heavily, like someone about to have a
heart attack. His brain melting, he shakily reaches for a
chair and sits. George glances down. Lying alongside the
food is Tony's rubber face.
GEORGE
I... I-I don't understand this act.
ANDY
(in jolly spirits)
It's good old-fashioned
entertainment. Everyone loves a
villain.
GEORGE
Yeah? Well tell that to the poor
schlub who you humiliated!
Beat -- then Bob strolls over. His real name is BOB ZMUDA.
ZMUDA
Hey Andy, good show.
ANDY
Oh George, this is Bob Zmuda. Bob
and I have been buddies for years.
George gapes. On closer inspection, Bob is cocky, aloof,
and conniving. He and Andy grin naughtily at each other.
ZMUDA
That was a really hot house!
GEORGE
So your name's not Gorsky.
ZMUDA
Don't believe everything you hear.
George thinks about this -- then laughs.
CUT TO:
INT. ABC CONFERENCE ROOM - LA - DAY
Maynard and the ABC suits sit at the table, mesmerized.
George is confidentially whispering to them.
GEORGE
This has to stay in the room... but
here's the thing: Andy is Tony. And
Tony is Andy! They'll deny it up
and down, but I swear to God,
they're the same person!
(with urgency)
It's smart business! You'll get two
Andy Kaufmans for the price of one!
Maynard thinks about this, quite methodically. A beat, and
then he cracks a smile...
INT. ALPHA BETA SUPERMARKET - NIGHT
1 a.m. in the supermarket. Just a few people linger...
including Andy, who's at the Space Invaders videogame. Andy
stares intently at the screen, eyes piercing, fingers
hammering the buttons while he blows up Martians. Andy is
oblivious to all around him.
In the b.g., George suddenly enters. He looks around the
market, then spots Andy. He feverishly runs up.
GEORGE
Andy!
ANDY
(still playing the
game)
What's up?
George grins crazily, ecstatically.
GEORGE
Andy... THEY SAID YES! They agreed
to it all! They thought your terms
were a shining example of your
"irreverent wit" -- and precisely
why they want you!
(beat)
You're getting EVERYTHING!
Whoa. Andy looks up, astonished. His space station
EXPLODES, but he doesn't notice. He turns to George... and
slowly smiles sweetly. Genuinely.
ANDY
Well thank you very much...!
CUT TO:
INT. TAXI SET - DAY
The first week of "TAXI." The CAST rehearses on the Taxi
set. PRODUCERS watch from the bleachers.
(The actual TAXI scene will be determined.) JUDD HIRSCH,
TONY DANZA, and MARILU HENNER read their lines.
Then... a bored BLACK STAND-IN reads Latka's line.
The cast glances around. Tony Danza loses his temper.
TONY DANZA
Man, this is bullshit!
(he marches up to
the PRODUCER)
Where's Kaufman? Why isn't he
here??
One producer stands. This is tightly-wound ED WEINBERGER.
ED
You'll see him on Friday when we
shoot. Now run the lines with
Rodney.
An angry beat. The actors resume...
INT. TAXI SET - DAYS LATER
The AUDIENCE is filtering in. They fill the studio
bleachers.
INT. TAXI SET, BACKSTAGE - DAY
Actors mingle outside the dressing rooms.
JUDD HIRSCH
I'm taking bets we do the show with
the stand-in.
MARILU HENNER
No, I hear Andy arrived. Rumor is
he's locked inside his dressing
room.
Judd is surprised.
INT. TAXI SET, ANDY'S DRESSING ROOM - DAY
Andy is meditating. He's tranquil, at total inner peace.
Silence -- until a little clock radio CHIRPS.
Andy snaps his eyes open. He exhales a few calm breaths,
then sits upright. Andy reaches for a sealed envelope, rips
it open, and removes a SCRIPT.
Andy sighs, opens the script, and starts scanning the pages
like a speedreader.
INT. TAXI SET - LATER THAT DAY
Bleachers are full. They're now filming TAXI (the same
scene as earlier). On cue, Andy enters as LATKA -- wide-
eyed, endearing, in mechanic's overalls.
Andy is hilarious. The crowd HOWLS with laughter.
MONTAGE - TAXI
In quick succession, a series of Andy's best Latka moments.
He's beloved. The applause grows louder, louder, LOUDER...
INT. TAXI SET, BACKSTAGE - DAY
TAXI curtain calls. The whole cast takes bows, then runs
offstage. Everyone is grinning -- except Andy.
He soberly strolls up to Zmuda.
ANDY
I'm gonna quit.
ZMUDA
What?!?
ANDY
Each show is worse than the next.
ZMUDA
Are you nuts?! 40 million people
watch you every week!
ANDY
So? What do they know?
ZMUDA
Absolutely nothing! That's the
beauty!
(he lowers his
voice)
It's credibility. You make them
love you... and then later, on your
special, you'll screw with their
heads!
Hmm?! Andy raises an eyebrow.
CUT TO:
INT. MAYNARD SMITH'S OFFICE - LA - DAY
The power office of Maynard Smith, the powerful ABC exec.
He shouts into a phone.
MAYNARD
I don't care! Travolta signed a
contract, he's a Sweathog for
life!... Oh yeah? Just try to sue
us.
He HANGS up. His ASSISTANT peeks her head in.
ASSISTANT
Sir, they're having a problem down
on the Kaufman Special. They say
he's not following the... technical
requirements.
Maynard is baffled.
MAYNARD
"Technical"???
INT. "KAUFMAN SPECIAL" SET, TECH BOOTH - SAME TIME
Andy is in a booth, arguing with a HEAVYSET TECHNICIAN.
Zmuda watches and eats a banana.
ANDY
It's my show! Now make it roll!
TECHNICIAN
NO!
Maynard strolls up, buttoning his suit jacket, irritated as
he walks around Little Wendy meditating in front of a ring
of candles.
MAYNARD
Andy, I hear fabulous things about
the Special...
(a delicate pause)
Eh, I understand we've hit a teeny
speedbump?
TECHNICIAN
(harried)
Yeah, Kid Genius told me to mess
with the horizontal hold! He wants
the picture to roll!
Maynard doesn't exactly understand.
MAYNARD
Show me.
The technician pushes a button. ON THE MONITOR - Andy's
image briefly appears.
ANDY (ON-SCREEN)
And now... in her television debut,
the incredible Chubby Rosalie!!
At that moment, Andy's image starts rolling across the
screen, until it disappears into a blur of static...
ANDY
(happy)
It'll be great. The viewer will
think their TV is broken. They'll
get out of their chair, they'll
twist the knobs, they'll hit the TV,
but they won't be able to fix it!
Maynard stares at the monitor. The totally indecipherable
picture still rolls. A glum pause.
MAYNARD
Andy... we don't want the viewer to
get out of their chair. They might
change the channel.
ANDY
But it's funny! It's a practical
joke. They'll get frustrated!
Andy beams giddily. Maynard gazes dully, struggling to
reason.
MAYNARD
Andy... uhh... this network has a
long-standing policy: The viewer
must be able to see the program.
ANDY
But it's only for thirty seconds!
Beat.
MAYNARD
Five.
ANDY
Twenty!
MAYNARD
Ten.
ANDY
Deal.
Both men quickly extend their hands and shake. Maynard nods
and leaves.
Beat. Then, Andy pulls out a Handi-wipe and cleans his
palm.
A STUDIO PAGE walks over. He has a huge MAIL BAG.
STUDIO PAGE
Mr. Kaufman, do you want your mail?
Andy looks up -- and his face lights up like Christmas.
INT. ANDY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Andy's crappy apartment, which looks like a dorm room: Cheap
furniture, stained carpet, and a framed photo of the
Maharishi. Andy lies on his bed, which is covered with
THOUSANDS OF LETTERS. He happily chats on the phone.
ANDY
... Yes, it's Andy Kaufman!...
Really! ...I got your fan letter...
So you like the show? Your letter
said I was silly. Did you think I
was too silly?... Oh good. I'm
glad.
Andy holds a letter which has a GIRL'S SNAPSHOT stapled to
it. He is very nervous.
ANDY (cont'd)
It was real nice of you to send your
picture, Mimi... 'Cause you knew
what I looked like... and now, I
know what you look like!
Andy flips the letter over. He glances at the return
address.
ANDY (cont'd)
So, um... San Bernardino...
(beat)
That's just a couple hours away,
isn't it...?
EXT. SAN BERNARDINO, DOWNTOWN - DUSK
The sun is setting. In an ugly shopping district, Andy
walks along with sexy, wholesome MIMI.
MIMI
... so after I finish junior
college, I'll go to work for my
dad's accounting firm. Unless, I
decide to live with my friend
Valerie, but she wants to move to
Anaheim, and I don't want to do
that.
A disinterested beat.
ANDY
Oh.
Another beat.
ANDY (cont'd)
So do you wanna wrestle?
MIMI
Excuse me -- ?
ANDY
Do you wanna wrestle? It's a good
way of breaking the ice.
(pause)
That instant physical intimacy
really brings two people together.
Mimi is bewildered, and offended.
MIMI
What are you talking about?! We
just met an hour ago.
ANDY
(calm)
No no no, it's not sex! I mean --
it can lead to sex... but really,
it's just wrestling.
MIMI
I don't wanna talk about it!
An awkward silence. They continue walking. She points up.
MIMI (cont'd)
The sunset is really beautiful.
ANDY
What do you mean?
MIMI
(a bit offput)
I mean -- uh -- the colors in the
sky are so vibrant. I love this
time of day.
ANDY
(he shrugs dully)
I've never understood that. It's
just... getting dark.
(pause)
But I like you! Hey! Why don't we
fill the car with gas, drive to
Tijuana, and GET MARRIED???
ANGLE - MIMI
Fear. She shivers, then hoarsely speaks.
MIMI
I think I wanna go home.
CUT TO:
INT. ABC CONFERENCE ROOM - LA - DAY
George screens Andy's TV Special for Maynard and his team.
The network execs look constipated.
ON THE TV - Andy speaks tenderly, lovingly to Howdy Doody.
ANDY (ON TV)
You know... I was once in your
gallery. I was just sitting there
and I wanted to touch you. I was
kind of depressed because I could
see what everyone was like, and I
was wondering if, now, maybe I
could... touch you.
Very gently, Andy touches Howdy's cheek and starts weeping.
THE EXECS -- are horrified.
ANDY (ON TV)
(cont'd)
Howdy, I've been
watching you ever
since I was a little
boy...
(choked up,
nervous)
You're the first
friend from television
I ever had. I always
wanted to meet you...
and now ...I finally
am.
EXEC #2
This is NOT funny.
EXEC #3
(ominous)
"Artsy Fartsy shit"...
GEORGE
(worried at this
response)
No... eh, the Special
isn't all like this...
just wait... it will be
hysterical.
At that moment, the picture turns to FUZZY SNOW. Maynard
scowls.
MAYNARD
Christ! We're the Number One
Network -- can't we afford decent
TVs?!
Maynard angrily jumps and POUNDS on the TV. BANG, BANG!
George winces -- then mutters awkwardly.
GEORGE
No, um... it's part of the snow.
An awful beat.
Maynard is embarrassed. Finally -- he explodes.
MAYNARD
Tell Kaufman we will NEVER air this
program!!
INT. JERRY'S DELI - NIGHT
A delicatessen. Andy wears an apron and angrily cleans
tables. He stacks dirty dishes and wipes up the food. Two
BLUE COLLAR GUYS gesture from a booth.
BLUE COLLAR GUY 1
Excuse me, could I please have more
coffee?
ANDY
Yeah, yeah, in a sec'.
(he lugs the dishes
to the kitchen)
That was decaf, right?
The guy nods. Andy hurries over with the coffeepot and
starts pouring.
BLUE COLLAR GUY 1
You know, you look just like Andy
Kaufman.
ANDY
Yeah, I get that all the time.
Andy hurries off. The guy's buddy leans in, whispering.
BLUE COLLAR GUY 2
I'm telling you, it's him.
BLUE COLLAR GUY 1
You wanna bet?? If that was him, he
wouldn't be workin' here, pouring my
coffee!
NEAR THE KITCHEN
Andy dumps out wet coffee grounds. He is sweating. In the
b.g., George enters the restaurant. He sees Andy, sits at a
table and YELLS OUT.
GEORGE
Hey! Could you clear this table and
bring me a piece of poundcake?
Andy turns. They stare down each other.
GEORGE (cont'd)
Andy, this is ridiculous. Take off
that apron.
ANDY
(infuriated)
NO! I'd rather work here, than at
ABC. There's no lying in a
restaurant. They don't promise you
a job as a cashier, then suddenly
make you a frycook!
Andy hurries off with a water pitcher. George chases him.
GEORGE
Look, I'm sorry. They're assholes!
But we work in a creative business.
You can't predict what people are
gonna like --
ANDY
The ONLY reason I did Taxi was so I
could have my own Special!
GEORGE
(trying to calm him)
Tell you what. I'll book you on
some concerts, and meanwhile, we'll
show the Special around... see if
somebody wants to buy it --
ANDY
(bitter)
Yeah, we can have a garage sale.
"Hey look, I got a floor lamp and a
network TV Special for only fifty
cents!"
A glum moment.
Andy fills water glasses.
ANDY (cont'd)
How long is left on my Taxi
contract?
GEORGE
You signed for five years --
(awkward)
So four years, seven months.
ANDY
(he looks up)
Okay... I'll go back. But just let
them know, first they ain't gettin'
Latka. They're gettin' Tony!
CUT TO:
EXT. TEXAS A&M COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
A marquee says "TEXAS A&M PRESENTS - ANDY KAUFMAN"
Inside, a ROAR of APPLAUSE surges.
INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - SAME TIME
Andy is walking onstage. The excited CLAPPING swells. He's
a gigantic presence to these people.
Andy smiles and bows.
ANDY
Thank you. It's great to be here.
We're going to have a very nice
time. We'll sing some songs --
SORORITY GIRL
DO LATKA!!
Andy reacts, perturbed. He struggles to stay composed.
ANDY
Uh, we'll play with puppets --
DRUNKS IN UNISON
LATKA! LATTTTKAAAA!!!
Andy scowls. Then -- he loses it.
ANDY
Excuse me one moment.
Andy angrily hurries offstage.
INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM, BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
Zmuda is with the congas and props. Andy runs up.
ANDY
Give me the book.
ZMUDA
(startled)
No! Andy, don't do it --
ANDY
They're asking for it.
Andy fiercely GRABS a small book from Zmuda. Zmuda cringes.
INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
Andy strides back out. He gazes at the crowd.
ANDY
Since you're such a special
audience... I'm going to reveal, for
the first time ever, the real me.
(he goes into a
CLIPPED BRITISH
ACCENT)
I'm actually British. I was raised
in London and educated at Oxford.
And though I dabble in clowning, I
do find it so boorish. So...
American.
(beat)
I prefer the fine arts. Henceforth,
tonight, I'd like to grace you with
a reading of the greatest novel ever
written!
(he holds up the
book)
"The Great Gatsby", by F. Scott
Fitzgerald!!
BEAT.
Heh? The crowd isn't quite clear if this is good or bad. A
confused murmur.
ANDY (BRITISH)
(he cracks open the
book)
Chapter One.
(he starts READING)
"In my younger and more vulnerable
years, my father gave me some advice
that I've been turning over in my
mind ever since. 'Whenever you feel
like criticizing anyone,' he told
me, 'just remember that all the
people in this world haven't had the
advantages you've had.'"
There's a little NERVOUS LAUGHTER. Is he really gonna read
this?
ANDY (BRITISH) (cont'd)
"He didn't say any more, but we've
always been unusually communicative
in a reserved way, and I understood
that he meant a great deal more than
that..."
Suddenly, somebody from the audience screams:
FRAT BOY IN AUDIENCE
LATKA!!!
The audience ROARS approvingly. Andy stops reading and
looks at the student. He smiles.
ANDY (AS LATKA)
Tank you veddy much!!!!
The audience APPLAUDS enthusiastically. Andy waits until
the applause dies and goes back to the book.
ANDY (BRITISH)
"When I came back from the East last
autumn, I felt that I wanted the
world to be in uniform and at a sort
of moral attention forever; I wanted
no more riotous excursions with
privileged glimpses into the human
heart..."
People start BOOING. Andy looks up.
ANDY (BRITISH) (cont'd)
Please, let's keep it down. We have
a long way to go.
(he resumes reading)
"Only Gatsby, the man who gives his
name to this book, was exempt from
my reaction - Gatsby, who
represented everything for which I
have an unaffected scorn..."
The crowd is incredulous.
INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - LATER THAT NIGHT
ANDY (BRITISH)
Chapter Two.
The crowd is horribly bored.
INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM, BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
The clock says 11:30. The PROMOTER glares at Zmuda.
PROMOTER
Is he ever going to stop?
ZMUDA
(dour)
Sure. When he reaches "The End."
INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - LATER THAT NIGHT
People are streaming out. Maybe fifty are left. Andy
realizes this -- but is committed. He must continue.
ANDY (BRITISH)
"Tom was evidently perturbed at
Daisy's running around alone, for on
the following Saturday night he came
with her to Gatsby's party. Perhaps
his presence gave the evening its
peculiar quality of
oppressiveness..."
A weak VOICE feebly shouts:
WEAK VOICE
Do Latka.
Andy looks up, shocked. Insulted, he "blows his temper."
ANDY (BRITISH)
Look! I don't have to tolerate this
impoliteness! Forget it -- I'm
gonna stop the show. GOODBYE!
He slams the book shut. People CHEER. Andy starts to storm
off -- then turns.
ANDY (BRITISH) (cont'd)
No, no, I'm only fooling.
The audience GROANS.
ANDY (BRITISH) (cont'd)
I'll tell you what. Would you
rather have me continue reading or
would you like to hear the
phonograph record?
The audience ROARS for the record. Andy smiles, puts the
needle on and to everyone's horror more "Gatsby" comes out.
ANDY (BRITISH-FROM THE RECORD)
"His presence gave the evening its
peculiar quality of oppressiveness -
it stands out in my memory from
Gatsby's other parties that
summer..."
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - LATER THAT NIGHT
There are six people left in the audience. Andy reads on.
ANDY (BRITISH)
"Tomorrow we will run faster,
stretch out our arms farther... And
one fine morning - So we beat on,
boats against the current borne back
ceaselessly into the past."
Andy somberly shuts the book.
ANDY (BRITISH) (cont'd)
The End.
A moment of quiet personal euphoria. Andy looks enraptured,
the man who has just climbed Everest.
A pause -- but no applause. It's dead silence. Andy looks
out... and realizes the few audience members are asleep.
Andy shrugs, then shuffles off-stage.
In the wings, Zmuda snores loudly in a folding chair.
EXT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - DAWN
Andy and Zmuda walk out, Zmuda squinting groggily. They
drag the suitcase containing the props. They walk slowly
towards their rental car, the campus totally deserted.
ZMUDA
Nobody likes anarchy more than me...
but this is science fiction!
Andy nods uncomprehendingly.
ANDY
Let's get some breakfast.
CUT TO:
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
George is yelling at Andy and Zmuda. They are seated on his
couch, heads bowed in shame.
GEORGE
What kind of show was this??!
(angrily reading off
a LIST)
There were three-hundred walkouts!
The promoter wants a refund!
Andy mumbles in a pipsqueak whimper.
ANDY
I'm sorry, George...
GEORGE
You're DAMN RIGHT you're sorry!
(turning on Zmuda)
And you -- you're the road manager!
You should be watchin' out for him!
ZMUDA
(a guilty sigh)
We might have lost our focus...
George paces furiously.
GEORGE
When you play the Midwest and South,
you DON'T MINDFUCK THESE PEOPLE!
It's not postmodern -- it's rude.
(beat)
If you wanna perform in Texas, you
give 'em Mighty Mouse! You give 'em
Elvis!!
ANDY
But George, I like to push the
boundaries...
GEORGE
And that's great. But do it in LA
and New York! There you experiment!
Show up with a sleeping bag and take
a nap on stage! I don't care!
Hmm. Andy thinks.
ANDY
How long would they let me sleep?
GEORGE
I don't know!
(he composes himself
and lowers his voice
to a hush)
Andy... you need to look inside: Who
are you trying to entertain? The
audience... or yourself?
ANGLE - ANDY
He doesn't know the answer.
CUT TO:
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST, BATHROOM - DAY
Andy is manically washing his hands. Using liquid soap from
the dispenser, then rubbing his hands under the water. Then
more liquid soap. More rubbing. Then more liquid soap...
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
George sighs at Zmuda.
GEORGE
I'm worried about Andy. His stress
level is affecting his work.
ZMUDA
(he thinks)
Isn't Tony Clifton going on Taxi
soon? Maybe that'll chill him out.
GEORGE
Bob, Andy needs to RELAX. See if
you can get him away from all this.
Take him to Hawaii, or Bali... Find
something special. Something
nice...
Zmuda mulls this over.
CUT TO:
EXT. MUSTANG RANCH, NEVADA - DAY
A tattered sign says "Welcome to the MUSTANG RANCH." The
world-famous whorehouse sits behind a barb-wire fence.
Dusty connected trailers sit in the sand.
A CAR idles out front. Zmuda and a scared Andy sit inside.
ANDY
I dunno about this...
(worried)
What will my mother think?
ZMUDA
She'll say, "Now my son is a man."
ANDY
It's so dirty.
ZMUDA
Nah. The girls sponge off between
johns.
Andy nods.
ANDY
Okay.
INT. MUSTANG RANCH - DAY
The reception room -- wood paneling and black-lite posters.
Music is playing. Twenty deadpan HOOKERS are lined up.
Andy, nervous as a high school kid, points at one... then
another... then the first...
ZMUDA
Which one?
Beat -- then Andy becomes GERMAN, with a monocle and stiff
walk.
ANDY (GERMAN)
I vill haf both! I vill haf dat
fraulein... unt... the vun vith the
big strudels!
The two chosen girls take Andy's hands and lead him off. He
reaches the door -- then gives Zmuda a nervous look. Zmuda
smiles reassuringly. Andy gulps, and goes in...
Beat. Zmuda turns to the older, jaded MADAM.
ZMUDA
This is a big day. It's my friend's
first time with a prostitute.
MADAM
(mocking)
What're you talking about? Andy
comes here almost every weekend.
Zmuda's jaw drops, stupefied.
ZMUDA
You're talking about... Andy?
MADAM
Oh, he doesn't always call himself
that. Sometimes he's Tony, and
wears a tux.
Disbelief -- then Zmuda LAUGHS sharply. He's been conned.
INT. MUSTANG RANCH, BEDROOM - DAY
Andy and the two hookers are WRESTLING. They grapple and
roll around, all three of them in their underwear.
Suddenly Andy flips the girls over and pins them with his
arms.
Breathing hard, he stares down.
ANDY
You let me win.
HOOKER
(she giggles sexily)
What if we did...?!
Andy grins and leans down...
ANDY
Hey. If I give you three-hundred
dollars, will you come to LA and
help me destroy a TV show?
CUT TO:
INT. TAXI SET, REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY
The Taxi cast sits irritably around a big table, holding
scripts. Ed Weinberger enters.
TONY DANZA
Where is he?
ED
He just arrived.
CAROL KANE
He's an hour late.
ED
Look, I'm told this Clifton guy is a
little eccentric. You're all just
gonna have to roll with the punches
this week.
Suddenly -- the door SLAMS open. Tony bounds in, filthy
drunk, clutching a bottle in a brown bag.
TONY CLIFTON
Taxi! Laxy! Just the factsy,
Maxie! Them's all the words that
rhyme with taxi!... Right, girls?
Little Wendy and the Hooker sashay in, dressed as tarts.
Tony feels them up, and they SQUEAL. The cast stares in
horror.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
Eh, why the blue faces? You musta
read the script!
(he chuckles)
Well, don't worry! Your pal Tony
stayed up all night, writin' some
fixes on it.
(he pulls out some
SCRIBBLED PAGES)
I added me a musical number, cut out
Judd Hirsch, and changed the
location to Mardi Gras!
Ed's expression goes ashen.
CUT TO:
INT. TAXI SET - LATER THAT DAY
An attempted rehearsal. Tony is tap-dancing on top of a car
hood. He does a "fancy" move, and his booze bottle suddenly
flies away and CRASHES against the wall.
The cast watches, pissed and bored.
TONY CLIFTON
And now, the new theme song!
(he starts SINGING)
"Oh yes, we drive a taxi,
And we're havin' fun.
Yeah, we work together,
And we get the freakin' job done."
INT. TAXI SET, TECH BOOTH - DAY
Beleaguered Ed sits with George.
ED
George, we've lost two days.
Filming is on Friday. We HAVE to
let him go!
GEORGE
(worried)
I'm not sure how Andy's gonna take
this...
ED
So we'll go downstairs and tell him!
He points at Tony, swaggering around on the set. George
shakes his head.
GEORGE
But that's Tony down there. That's
not Andy. Trust me, it's like
"Sybil" -- Andy's nowhere on the
premises!
Ed glares.
ED
Well whoever the fuck that is, I'm
firing him!
GEORGE
(he sighs)
Okay. But we'll have to warn Andy
first. I think he's up in San
Francisco, doing a concert.
Heh? Ed raises his eyebrows.
CUT TO:
INT. TAXI SET, TECH BOOTH - SECONDS LATER
George is on the phone. Ed hovers.
GEORGE (INTO PHONE)
Hi, Diane, this is George. I'm
trying to reach Andy up in San
Francisco.
(a stilted pause)
Yeah, I'll wait.
Ed glances down at the stage... and suddenly Tony is no
longer there. He's magically vanished.
Beat.
George turns on the SPEAKERPHONE, then CLICK! Andy's happy
voice pops on the line.
ANDY (V.O.)
Hi, George! Good to hear from you!
GEORGE
Hi, Andy. How's the weather up
there?
ANDY (V.O.)
Oh, you know the Bay Area! Always
foggy!
Ed looks totally off-balance. George winks at him.
GEORGE
I'm here with Ed over at Taxi.
There's been some trouble with Tony.
ANDY (V.O.)
Oh no! Did he get hurt?
ED
No, no, Andy, nothing like that.
(nervous beat)
But... Tony's not fitting in. His
style of performance is too...
burlesque.
INTERCUT:
INT. TAXI SET, ANDY'S DRESSING ROOM - DAY
Tony is on the phone. Little Wendy is busily refilling his
whiskey bottle with canned ice tea. He looks up, insulted.
TONY CLIFTON (AS ANDY)
"Burlesque"?
BACK TO:
INT. TAXI SET, TECH BOOTH - DAY
ED
Andy, I'm calling you up like this
because I have the utmost respect
for your artistry. But -- I need
your permission to fire him.
ANDY (V.O.)
Oh dear!
(upset)
George, this is gonna kill Tony.
He's waited his whole life for this
break.
GEORGE
There'll be other shots.
ED
Andy, I have to do it. He's a
terrible actor.
Andy thinks about this.
ANDY (V.O.)
I guess I understand. But Ed --
please... let him down gentle.
ED
Yes, Andy, I will.
Andy hangs up. A relieved Ed turns to George.
ED (cont'd)
Thank you.
CUT TO:
INT. TAXI SET - LATER THAT DAY
Tony SCREAMS insanely.
TONY CLIFTON
FUCK YOU! I AIN'T GOIN'!!
WIDE
Ed is stupefied. The cast stands nervously behind him.
ED
We had a deal!!
TONY CLIFTON
I don't know what yer talkin' about.
You musta talked to someone else --
ED
Yeah!! I talked to Andy Kaufman!
TONY CLIFTON
I don't know nothin' about no
Kaufman. He's been ridin' my
coattails, smearing my reputation.
Been usin' my good name, to get
places.
Ed is livid. He gazes harshly at Tony -- Tony's burning
eyes piercing through the rubber features.
ED
Get off my stage! You're fired!
TONY CLIFTON
I GOT A CONTRACT!! I'm gonna take
you to the DEPARTMENT OF LABOR!
Suddenly -- FLASH! Ed looks over. A REPORTER has a camera.
ED
Who're YOU?!
REPORTER
I'm from the LA Times. We're doing
a little puff piece on Mr. Clifton.
(beat)
Mr. Kaufman arranged it.
UP IN THE BLEACHERS - George enters. He looks down at the
growing debacle, and winces. Uh-oh.
ONSTAGE - Enraged, Ed blows up.
ED
Security! Escort this man off the
lot!!
ONSTAGE - Studio SECURITY GUARDS run over. They GRAB Tony.
TONY CLIFTON
Stop! GETCHER HANDS OFF ME!
Tony scuffles. The camera FLASHES.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
LEMME GO! I'M A BIG STAR!
IN THE BLEACHERS - George stares at this mess... and starts
giggling.
ONSTAGE - Two guards drag Tony to the door.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
You'll be SORRY! One day I'm gonna
OWN this town!!
Tony SCREAMS and gets removed. Dead silence. Then --
ED
I don't want those pictures getting
out.
SECURITY GUARD
(to the reporter)
This is a closed set. You'll have
to give me the film in that camera.
The Guard reaches for the camera. An uncertain moment...
until Zmuda authoritatively cuts in, from out of nowhere.
ZMUDA
I'll take care of this.
Zmuda takes the camera. He casually starts to make his way
for the exit... when Ed suddenly HOLLERS.
ED
Wait -- he's one of THEM!
Zmuda gasps. Two guards go running for him.
Zmuda barrels away, trying to escape. The guards chase.
Zmuda races by George, and suddenly palms off the camera
into George's arms. The guards whip by, oblivious.
George grimaces, unclear about his loyalties. He sweatily
peers at the timebomb in his hands.
And then -- George thrusts it under his jacket. He bolts
for the door and feverishly scampers out.
EXT. PARAMOUNT LOT - DAY
George runs for his life. He knocks aside a rack of
costumes and serpentines between people.
At the gate, Tony's being dragged, kicking and screaming.
TONY CLIFTON
Stop! HELP! You wouldn't do this
to Wayne Newton --
The guards toss Tony out the gate. He lands in a heap.
In the b.g., George crazily flies by. He gets out the exit.
EXT. PARAMOUNT LOT, OUTSIDE THE GATES - DAY
George doubles over, trying to catch his breath. He glances
down... and Tony is lying next to him. Little Wendy and
Zmuda run up, out of breath.
They all look at each other. There's a moment of
understanding.
TONY CLIFTON
Hey. Good hustlin'.
George slowly smiles.
INT. TAXI OFFICES - SAME TIME
Ed storms in, insanely angry.
ED
That asshole! That FUCKING
BASTARD!!
(he SLAMS the door
behind him)
We had a fuckin' deal, and THAT
COCKSUCKER SHAFTED ME!!
Ed is seething. His SECRETARY timidly speaks.
SECRETARY
Um, Ed... you have a phone call --
ED
I'M NOT IN!
SECRETARY
Well, um... it's Andy Kaufman...
Heh??! Shaking with fury, Ed stares at the telephone...
then slowly picks it up.
ED
Yeah???
A long pause... then Andy's voice calmly speaks.
ANDY (V.O.)
You were brilliant.
A flabbergasted beat.
ED
Huh?
ANDY (V.O.)
You were in the moment. You became
a producer losing his mind.
(sincerely joyful)
It was the best improv I've ever
seen.
TIGHT - ED
He thinks intently about this. And then... amazingly, a
magnificent smiles comes over his face.
ED
Well -- thank you.
Pause.
ANDY (V.O.)
Okay. See you next week.
Andy hangs up. Ed just sits there, astounded.
CUT TO:
INT. LA HEALTH FOOD RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Andy, Zmuda, George and Little Wendy are squeezed in a
booth, laughing and celebrating. They eagerly read the LA
Times.
INSERT - The headline says "WHO IS TONY CLIFTON?" Below is
a PHOTO of Tony being thrown off the Taxi set.
They all HOWL.
ANDY
This is great! It makes Tony REAL -
- three-dimensional! It's very good
for his career.
Zmuda reads one paragraph.
ZMUDA
"Was this in actuality Andy Kaufman?
And if it was Andy Kaufman, is Andy
Kaufman crazy?"
ANDY
(he chortles)
Boy, they totally fell for it! I'm
only acting crazy!
Hmm. A few awkward glances.
Then -- Andy grins at his meal.
ANDY (cont'd)
Boy, this is tasty.
(he shouts to a
WAITER)
Hey, can I please have some more
seaweed?!
CUT TO:
INT. BOOKER'S OFFICE - DAY
A slick BOOKER, sitting in a crowded office full of head
shots. He's on the phone. He's reading the LA Times story.
BOOKER
Mr. Shapiro, this is Gene Knight, up
at Harrah's Tahoe. We'd like to
book Andy Kaufman for our showroom.
INTERCUT:
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
George on the phone.
GEORGE
Ehh -- Andy doesn't really like
playing casinos. The audiences
don't work well for him.
BOOKER (O.S.)
Oh.
Disappointed beat. The booker thinks.
BOOKER (O.S.) (cont'd)
What about Tony Clifton?
GEORGE
(startled)
Really?! You want Tony Clifton to
headline Harrah's Tahoe??
BOOKER (O.S.)
(being tricky)
Eh, sure. We're trying to expand
our audience base -- and I know the
college kids really love Andy
Kaufman.
George winces.
GEORGE
Look -- I gotta be clear with you.
Tony Clifton is NOT Andy Kaufman.
BOOKER (O.S.)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know!
(he LAUGHS merrily)
Wink wink! Nudge nudge!
GEORGE
(frustrated)
No, I'm serious. If you book Tony,
do NOT EXPECT TO GET ANDY.
BOOKER (O.S.)
(LAUGHING harder)
I'll take my chances!!
George rolls his eyes in annoyance. Finally, he shrugs.
GEORGE
Fine, be my guest! Book him.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DAY
George is driving in his convertible. Suddenly, something
catches his eye -- and in shock he HITS the brakes. Three
cars behind him SCREECH crazily, trying not to hit each
other.
George is oblivious. He's staring up at a BILLBOARD.
The BILLBOARD: It says "HARRAH'S TAHOE PRESENTS, ANDY
KAUFMAN & TONY CLIFTON! TOGETHER ON STAGE! ONE NIGHT
ONLY!"
George is flabbergasted.
EXT. SUNSET BLVD, PHONEBOOTH - DAY
George is shouting into a payphone.
GEORGE
Gene, you misunderstood!! You're
not getting BOTH of them!
(upset)
It's physically impossible!
BOOKER (O.S.)
Why's that? You said over and over
and over, Tony Clifton is not Andy
Kaufman --
GEORGE
Yeah, I KNOW what I said! But --
trust me, it's not gonna happen!
BOOKER (O.S.)
Sure it is. Tony called me himself.
He yelled at me, insisting that his
dressing room be bigger than Andy's.
They're both going on tonight,
believe me!
George is stupefied. He looks at his watch.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAKE TAHOE - DUSK
Magnificent HARRAH'S dominates the skyline. The marquee
blares "TONY CLIFTON AND ANDY KAUFMAN!" George screeches up
in a rental car. He jumps out and runs inside.
INT. HARRAH'S SHOWROOM - NIGHT
The showroom is packed. It hums with curiosity. WAITERS
clean off the dinner tables. George rushes in and is seated
in a far booth, with some STRANGERS. He overhears a heated
conversation between a PUSHY MAN and his WIFE.
PUSHY MAN
You're not listenin'! It's a VERY
simple concept.
WIFE OF PUSHY MAN
You're making no sense. How can
they be the same person --?
PUSHY MAN
Trust me! You'll never see them on
stage at the same time!
The onstage ORCHESTRA hits a fanfare. LIGHTS DIM. Sharp
SPOTLIGHTS meet at the foot of the stage. Suddenly -- Tony
swaggers out, hands over his head in a gesture of triumph.
Thunderous APPLAUSE. Tony beams. The music stops.
George leans in, curious as to how Andy will wiggle out of
this.
Tony bows theatrically, turns back to face the orchestra,
and waits. The NOISE LEVEL slowly drops -- but not
entirely. Tony waits, and waits, and waits... until
suddenly he turns towards the audience and SCREAMS
FURIOUSLY.
TONY CLIFTON
SHUT UP!!!!!!
Everybody looks up, alarmed. The general murmur almost
dies. Tony stands there, eyes flashing with anger at all
the unruly people. As they quiet down... Tony turns back to
the orchestra and raises his arms. The MUSICIANS lift their
instruments. Silence is total -- except for the clank of
china.
Waiters are serving coffee.
Tony spins back around, livid.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
THAT APPLIES TO YOU, TOO,
PENGUINS!!!
People signal "shh"! The waiters realize Tony's addressing
them, and they stare back in disbelief! This is their job!
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
Yeah! Yeah! YOU! I'm talkin' to
YOU!! And you better freeze, or
I'll get your asses fired!!!
Tony's outburst is so commanding that they all freeze. The
waiters stand there like statues, staring in terror.
Satisfied, Tony burns back to the orchestra and raises his
arms. Again, the musicians lift their instruments. In
anticipation of loud music, the waiters start moving about.
Audience members start whispering. Tony hears this -- and
drops his arms and head in despair.
The musicians lower their instruments. Tony waits for
absolute silence. Only then does he signal the musicians to
get ready again. They do. And then at that precise moment
-- somebody DROPS a spoon.
Tony jolts, as if hit by a current. He drops his hands
again, turns, and gives the perpetrator a murderous look.
Then he turns again, lowers his head, and waits. And waits.
And waits.
The man at George's table WHISPERS to his wife.
PUSHY MAN
He's never gonna start! Kaufman
thinks this is funny!
(beat)
We've paid forty bucks for a show
that's never gonna start!
George grins stupidly. The silence is now deafening.
Slowly, very slowly, Tony raises his arms. Slowly... the
musicians get their instruments ready. Tony stands there,
and stands, and stands, waiting for something... anything...
to disturb the silence. In vain. Somebody COUGHS. The
whole scene repeats itself.
Finally -- finally -- Tony is surrounded by total silence.
Then, (only a moment before the length of this scene would
become unbearable), he begins to move. Tony pivots around,
looks at the audience...
And the entire room looks like Tussaud's Wax Museum. Tony
starts LAUGHING hysterically. The audience's reaction is
mixed:
Some people LAUGH. Some BOO. Some ask perplexed questions.
Some SCREAM OBSCENITIES. Some even APPLAUD.
Tony is very happy. He turns to the orchestra, raises his
baton -- and commences the downbeat! The MUSIC BEGINS.
A SPOTLIGHT hits the wings... and then ANDY STRIDES OUT.
George's jaw drops.
WIFE OF PUSHY MAN
You see! I told you! They're not
the same person!
The whole audience BURSTS INTO APPLAUSE. Life is back to
normal. Andy bows shyly and takes his place in front of a
prepared row of congas. He starts to play.
Tony Clifton grabs the microphone.
TONY CLIFTON
Thank you! Thank you! I wrote this
tune for my friend Frank Sinatra.
He had a nice little success with
it... but forgot to thank me on the
album.
He starts to BELT "I Gotta Be Me".
George squints his eyes, trying to figure out who this is.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
"Whether I'm right
Or whether I'm wrong
Whether I find a place in this
world
Or never belong!
I gotta be me! I gotta be me!
What else can I be, but what I am?"
Tony's singing is awful. Andy happily accompanies on
congas. The audience doesn't know what to think.
Tony's SINGING reaches the end... aggressive and off-key.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
Let's bring it on home --
(he hits his
screeching CLIMAX)
"I GOTTA BE MEEEEEE!"
The BAND ends with a brassy punch. The crowd responds with
LOUD BOOING.
CUT TO:
INT. HARRAH'S, BACKSTAGE - LATER THAT NIGHT
George wanders the corridor, looking for the dressing rooms.
He turns and finds a door marked "KAUFMAN". Next to it is a
door marked "CLIFTON".
George stares. He thinks, then opens the "KAUFMAN" door.
Andy is inside alone, gathering his things. He's pleasantly
surprised to see George.
George doesn't enter. He goes to the "CLIFTON" door. Andy
follows. George opens the mystery door...
INT. HARRAH'S, CLIFTON'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
and inside, taking off the rubber Tony makeup, is Zmuda.
George starts hyperventilating. Shaking, he tries to sit
himself down. Andy enters, beaming. George is amazed.
GEORGE
You're so proud. You're like some
retarded kid comin' home from
school: "Look, Dad, I got an F!"
ANDY
But wasn't it funny?
GEORGE
"Funny"? I dunno. But
"intriguing"... "mindboggling"...
perhaps "headache-inducing"... sure.
(softening)
Like, that moment, when you both
came onstage...
Andy excitedly jumps up and down.
ANDY
Uh-huh! See, with all these
articles, people think they're
insiders. They see Tony Clifton,
and they say, "Ah, that's really
Andy Kaufman." But that spoils it.
So NOW, Tony denying being me is the
truth! Tony's not me! But maybe he
is! The audience will never know...
(giddy)
They'll think they're laughin' at me
-- but actually I'll be laughin' at
them, because they're wrong and I'm
right!
George is dazed.
GEORGE
So you've got this big elaborate
joke, which is really only funny to
two people in the universe.
(dry)
You... and you.
ZMUDA
Sure! But WE think it's kickass!
Now I get to be Tony. I get to dump
the glass of water on someone else's
head!
GEORGE
(he turns serious)
But what's the POINT? How will any
of this make you the biggest star in
the world?
Hmm. Andy contemplates this.
ANDY
George... I'm at a stage where the
audience expects me to constantly
shock them. But short of faking my
death, or setting the theater on
fire, I don't know what else to do.
(thoughtful)
'Cause I've always got to be one
step ahead of them.
GEORGE
But I feel you're extending this
philosophy to real life. It's
obsessive. Nothing's ever on the
level anymore.
A perplexed beat.
ANDY
George, it never was.
(pause)
Didn't you know that?
CUT TO:
INT. ANDY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his glory days as a body-builder,
on the cover of a magazine. Magazines are everywhere. Body-
building. Women's. Wrestling.
ANDY is sifting through them. Zmuda watches, worried.
ANDY
Look at this! An evil Russian!
Ooo, here's an evil Nazi -- he likes
to fight dirty! Hey, here's an evil
Japanese guy!
ZMUDA
What is this, World War Two...?
ANDY
You know, I always wanted to be a
bad-guy wrestler...
ZMUDA
No offense, pal, but I just don't
think you're built for it. These he-
men'll kick your ass!! They're
huge!
Andy's face drops. He realizes Zmuda's right.
Beat -- then Andy notices an issue of Sumo Magazine, with a
picture of a wrestler and his cute little fiancйe on the
cover. He slowly lifts it up, intrigued.
ANDY
Maybe I'll pick on someone smaller
than me...!
INT. MERV GRIFFIN SHOW - DAY
CLOSE UP on Andy and Merv Griffin. Andy wears a goofy
wrestling outfit that resembles thermal underwear. He is
shouting like a wrestler.
ANDY
... And I vow to continue wrestling
until I am BEA TEN, in a three-
minute match, with my shoulders
pinned to the mat!!
MERV
(nonplussed)
By a woman.
ANDY
Yes! BY A WOMAN!
(emphatic)
I'm doing this because I feel that a
woman cannot beat a man in
wrestling. Even if they train with
weights... it requires a certain
mental ability --
(a clumsy pause)
And, uh -- I just don't feel they
have that...
The audience MURMURS uncomfortably. Andy laughs and
backpedals.
ANDY (cont'd)
No no! Women are superior in many
ways. When it comes to cooking and
cleaning, washing the potatoes,
scrubbing the carrots, raising the
babies, mopping the floors, they
have it all over men. I believe
that!
An appalled silence.
Merv winces. Some people start BOOING. We can tell Andy is
pleased.
ANDY (cont'd)
But when it comes to wrestling,
forget it! If there's a woman that
can prove me wrong, come up here.
I'll shut my mouth and pay her 500
dollars.
Merv baitingly turns to the crowd.
MERV
Any... volunteers...?
WIDE
All the WOMEN'S hands angrily shoot up!
We move through the crowd, finally picking out... a feisty
woman, LYNNE. She mutters, half hateful, half laughing --
LYNNE
I wanna kill that jerk.
CUT TO:
INT. MERV GRIFFIN SHOW - MINUTES LATER
Andy and Lynne stand in the ring. She scornfully watches
him preen about. Zmuda is in a referee's uniform.
ZMUDA (AS REFEREE)
Will you please shake hands, go to
your corners, and come out
wrestling.
Lynne extends her hand. Andy fakes a shake -- then snidely
refuses and struts away. The crowd HISSES.
DING! It's the bell. The match begins. Lynne barrels at
him, craving a victory, but terribly unprepared for this
experience. Andy immediately grabs her by the legs and
flips her over.
WHUMP! She's down. Andy has trained for this.
Zmuda gets on his knees, watching, trying to look official.
Lynne struggles and slithers away.
She grabs Andy's arm and forces him down. People CHEER.
His torso hits the mat. LOUDER CHEERS. But suddenly he
rolls over and pulls her hair! Her head snaps back. The
crowd is INCENSED. Zmuda hurries over and pantomimes a
stern warning.
Andy nods, and they separate. They do a little dance around
the ring, Lynne looking for a hole. Suddenly, Andy spins
her into a Half-Nelson. Her arms are pinned. They
struggle, then he throws her down on her stomach. One!
Two! Three!
And DING! It's OVER. Andy jumps up and sneers at the
crowd.
ANDY
I'm the winner! I've got the
BRAINS!
(he points at his
head)
Now baby, don't fight nature! Get
back in the kitchen where you
belong!!!
Lynne glares.
Out of the blue, and old RECORDING OF BOUNCY PIANO MUSIC
starts playing. A chicken CLUCKS to the music, and Andy lip-
syncs along, doing an obnoxious cock o' the walk around the
ring.
INT. MERV GRIFFIN SHOW, BACKSTAGE - LATER THAT DAY
Lynne is escorted by a GUEST COORDINATOR. Lynne is dazed.
The Coordinator hands her a bunch of crap.
GUEST COORDINATOR
Here's your complimentary photo with
Merv. Here's your Turtle Wax --
LYNNE
I don't need Turtle Wax.
GUEST COORDINATOR
Every guest of Merv gets it. And
here's your dinner-for-two voucher
at Red Lobster.
Lynne takes her junk and hobbles off. She passes Andy, who
sees her and grins.
ANDY
Gosh, you scored! Look at all those
goodies!
LYNNE
Buzz off. Go patronize somebody
else.
Lynne coldly hurries away. Andy chases after her.
ANDY
Hey, I hope you didn't take that
stuff I said seriously. It was just
part of the show!
(eager to impress)
It's like the old days, when a
carnival barker would try to rile up
the crowd.
LYNNE
Oh. So you were just pretending to
be an asshole.
Andy nods, pleased.
ANDY
It's what I'm good at!
Lynne stares -- then begrudgingly cracks a smile.
CUT TO:
INT. GOLD'S GYM - DAY
Jumbo-sized BEEFY MEN work out, sweating and groaning. In a
corner, Andy lifts huge barbells. George stares, pained.
GEORGE
Merv Griffin has received 2000
pieces of hate mail. Andy, Merv
Griffin doesn't GET hate mail.
ANDY
That means it was a success. I woke
up the audience -- like punk rock!
(he hands him a
BARBELL)
Here, take this.
GEORGE
No, I'm not gonna take it. If I
take it I'll break my back.
He crosses his arms. Andy frowns and lowers the weight.
GEORGE (cont'd)
Buddyboy, they detest you! Next
time you make an appearance, women
are gonna picket.
ANDY
They're having a laugh...
GEORGE
WRONG! You haven't given them any
clues that it's a parody!
ANDY
That's because they've only seen it
once. But I'll do it again, and
again, and AGAIN...
(a maniacal grin)
They'll catch on!
CUT TO:
INT. WRESTLING RING
MONTAGE OF WRESTLING MATCHES:
MATCH 1 - Andy throws a FAT WOMAN to the ground.
MATCH 2 - Andy squeezes a SMALL WOMAN in a headlock.
MATCH 3 to MATCH 20 - Andy throws an ITALIAN LADY from the
ring. He then proudly waves a phony plastic belt over his
head.
ANDY
I am the Intergender Wrestling
Champion of the World!!!
The crowd BOOS in disgust.
CUT TO:
INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY
ANDY is at the box office, buying tickets.
ANDY
Two, please.
Two tickets jump out of the machine.
EXT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY
ANDY is standing in front, waiting. A CAB stops and out
steps -- Lynne.
ANDY
Hi...
LYNNE
Hi... am I late?
ANDY
No, I'm sure we'll be fine.
Andy gives Lynne her ticket. They enter the theater.
INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY
Andy hurries up to the candy counter.
ANDY
Popcorn?
LYNNE
No thanks.
ANDY
I really want one.
(at the counter)
One large tub of popcorn, please,
extra butter.
The CANDY GIRL makes Andy his popcorn. He pays... then
heads to the exit.
ANDY (cont'd)
Okay. Let's go.
Lynne is baffled.
LYNNE
Andy, the theater's that way!
ANDY
Hey, I love movie theater popcorn...
but that doesn't mean I have to sit
through "On Golden Pond."
Lynne stands in place. Andy smiles.
ANDY (cont'd)
C'mon. We'll go for a walk.
LYNNE
(beat; then she
laughs)
Fine.
She throws down her ticket and runs after him.
EXT. MOVIE THEATER, STREET - DAY
They leave the theater and walk down the sidewalk.
LYNNE
Why did you call me? The last
person I ever expected to get a call
from was you.
ANDY
Gosh. Gee, Lynne... I was just so
impressed with your wrestling moves.
EXT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY
ANDY is standing in front, waiting. A CAB stops and out
steps -- Lynne.
ANDY
Hi...
LYNNE
Hi... am I late?
ANDY
No, I'm sure we'll be fine.
Andy gives Lynne her ticket. They enter the theater.
INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY
Andy hurries up to the candy counter.
ANDY
Popcorn?
LYNNE
No thanks.
ANDY
I really want one.
(at the counter)
One large tub of popcorn, please,
extra butter.
The CANDY GIRL makes Andy his popcorn. He pays... then
heads to the exit.
ANDY (cont'd)
Okay. Let's go.
Lynne is baffled.
LYNNE
Andy, the theater's that way!
ANDY
Hey, I love movie theater popcorn...
but that doesn't mean I have to sit
through "On Golden Pond."
Lynne stands in place. Andy smiles.
ANDY (cont'd)
C'mon. We'll go for a walk.
LYNNE
(beat; then she
laughs)
Fine.
She throws down her ticket and runs after him.
EXT. MOVIE THEATER, STREET - DAY
They leave the theater and walk down the sidewalk.
LYNNE
Why did you call me? The last
person I ever expected to get a call
from was you.
ANDY
Gosh. Gee, Lynne... I was just so
impressed with your wrestling moves.
LYNNE
You were impressed with something.
It's pretty odd when a man sports a
hard-on that large on national
television.
Andy is shocked.
ANDY
Oh! Uh, I hope I didn't offend you.
LYNNE
I'm here, ain't I?
A charged moment. Andy's eyes widen. His speech gets
faster.
ANDY
Do you wanna to go to Memphis and
get married?
LYNNE
(incredulous)
Do I wanna go to Memphis and get
married?
ANDY
Yes.
Beat.
LYNNE
Why Memphis?
ANDY
(he SPEAKS VERY
FAST)
Because Memphis is the wrestling
capital of the world! I'll go in
the ring, and I'll announce that I
will shave my head and marry any
woman who beats me! Then you'll
come up, we'll wrestle and I'll let
you win! Then you'll scalp me, and
we'll get married on Letterman, like
Tiny Tim did on Carson... right
there on the show! What do you
say???
Whoa. Lynne stares into his eyes.
LYNNE
And all this will be for real?
ANDY
(a soft smile)
If you want...
CUT TO:
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, MEMPHIS - NIGHT
The arena is filled with furious BOOING SOUTHERN WRESTLING
FANS. Ladies in hair nets. Men clutching beer cans. This
is a rougher crowd than we've seen before.
Andy stands in the ring, unshaven in a torn green robe.
He's screaming at them.
ANDY
(screaming)
SHUT UP!
(more BOOS)
SHUT UP! Show some respect! I want
SILENCE when I speak!
People BOOO louder and throw debris. Andy is pleased.
ANDY (cont'd)
If any woman can defeat me, I will
pay her 1000 dollars! Then I'll
shave my head bald! And then as a
bonus -- that lucky lady will get to
marry me!!
Screeching JEERS and CATCALLS. Down front... Lynne jumps
up.
LYNNE
Look here, Andy Kaufman! I'll take
you on -- SISSY!
The mob LAUGHS harshly.
ANDY
Ooo, the little lady's upset. Well
I say -- get back in the kitchen!
LYNNE
("outraged")
No! YOU get in the kitchen. I'm
gonna make you dry my dishes!
The crowd APPLAUDS. Lynne grins and starts to climb in the
ring. Andy's eyes are ablaze. But suddenly -- an oversized
Southern MAN jumps in and snatches the mike away.
MAN
STOP IT! This woman's a FAKE!
She's nothing but Kaufman's
girlfriend!
Andy and Lynne are startled.
ANDY
T-that's not true --
MAN
It's a set-up! And I won't allow
our great sport to be degraded by a
fix!!
The crowd angrily starts to HISS. Lynne whispers to Andy.
LYNNE
Andy... who is that...?
LAWLER
I'm Jerry Lawler, the KING of
Memphis wrestling!!
(this gets HUGE
CHEERS)
So if Kaufman wants to tangle, I've
brought a real wrestler! She's
trained and she's READY!! Kaufman,
do you think you can handle... FOXY
JACKSON???!!!
At that, a striking, muscular black woman stands -- FOXY.
The coliseum SCREAMS with excitement. People POUND their
seats. The roar is deafening. Lawler gleams cockily.
Lynne looks worriedly at Andy -- he's concerned.
CUT TO:
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM - LATER THAT NIGHT
DING! The bell rings. Foxy comes out, ready to brawl. But
Andy remains in his corner, running down the clock. He
nonchalantly peels off his robe. Foxy dances around
impatiently. Andy casually removes a towel from his neck.
People BOO. Still stalling, Andy then takes off his watch.
People SCREAM so furiously they're red-faced. Andy is
tormenting them. A TATTOOED GUY jumps up.
TATTOOED GUY
Are you scared???
Andy sneers. He cracks his knuckles, finally walks over...
and commences a WINDMILL. Absurdly, he spins his arms
around and around, daring Foxy to get near him.
She rolls her eyes and waits. The REF jumps out of the way.
A minute has counted down. Finally, Andy stops -- and the
real wrestling begins. Foxy lunges at him and immediately
goes for a choke-hold. The crowd CHEERS, relieved. Lawler
motions signals. Foxy yanks -- but Andy jerks away.
Andy is intrigued. She's coming to play! Andy gestures to
the Ref and points UP. The Ref looks away -- and Andy SLAPS
Foxy.
The crowd furiously JEERS. The Ref spins around, and Andy
shrugs innocence. He then runs at Foxy and theatrically
pushes her into the ropes. She bounces off, stumbles back -
- and Andy drops to his knees. She trips over him and hits
the mat.
Andy aggressively jumps onto Foxy's shoulders and pins her.
The Ref counts: One! Two! Three! DING!!
It's over. But Andy stays on her, shaking his ass, leering
rudely. Jerry Lawler yells from the corner.
LAWLER
Alright, you won. GET OFF HER!
Andy remains, flapping his arms like a chicken.
THE BOOING grows. Louder. More emotional.
ANGRY VOICES
Jerry, help her! Get in there! Do
something!
Lawler hesitates -- then suddenly climbs in the ring and
lifts Andy off! Lawler angrily PUSHES Andy down.
Andy is flabbergasted.
ANDY
W-what are you DOING? I don't fight
men!
Lawler snickers and walks away. Completely overreacting,
Andy grabs the mike.
ANDY (cont'd)
I'm gonna SUE YOU!
(he starts RANTING
berserkly)
Let me tell you something, Lawler!
I am not a hick -- I'm a national TV
star! And I DON'T like a dumb
cracker pushing me around in the
ring! I never agreed to wrestle
you! So you know what I'm gonna
do???
(seething)
I'm gonna hire a lawyer to sue you
for every cent you've got! This was
assault and battery! In a court of
law, I'm gonna kick your Southern-
fried rump!!!
Lawler snatches the mike and bellows.
LAWLER
YEAH?! Well I got news for you,
Andy Kaufman! Wrestling is a
serious sport to me! I don't like
anyone makin' fun of it, and I hate
anyone insultin' the South! So we
can settle this two ways: We can go
to court... or you can get in the
ring with a man, and wrestle for
REAL!
Andy watches, fuming. He is INFURIATED.
ANDY
He -- can't get away with this.
(to Lawler)
YOU! You think I'm CHICKEN?!
Andy grabs back the mike. He sticks his face in shocked
Lawler's.
ANDY (cont'd)
(sarcastic SOUTHERN
ACCENT)
You wanna "wraaastle" me?! You
wanna "WRAAASTLE" me??? Okay,
Lawler -- let's rumble! Yeah, I've
only wrestled women, but they were
bigger than you! In fact, they're
probably smarter than you, 'cause
you're from "Maaamphis, Taaanassee!"
(back to his regular
voice, he points at
his head)
I'm from Hollywood. I have the
brains. That's how I win. And Mr.
Lawler, I'm gonna make you cry
"Mama!"
Andy bears his teeth. Enraged, Lawler tries to take a swing
at him. HANDLERS run in and separate the angry men.
EXT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, TUNNEL - LATER THAT NIGHT
We hear NOISE from the main event above. Andy and Lynne
hurry along. She is disgruntled. He swaggers arrogantly,
still in his fighting outfit.
LYNNE
Is this an act -- or are you
addicted to causing trouble??
ANDY
(he jokingly
impersonates a
drunk)
I can shtop whenever I want...
She's unamused.
LYNNE
Then stop treating me like a fucking
prop.
ANDY
(he drops the act)
I-I'm sorry. I got caught up in the
action...!
She shoots him a stern look.
LYNNE
I'm warning you, Kaufman: One
morning you're gonna wake up... and
your head's gonna be shaved.
Andy laughs.
CUT TO:
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
George stares glumly at Andy. Andy is quite cheerful --
eating a big piece of chocolate cake.
GEORGE
Andy, do you realize you don't do
comedy anymore? Where's that sweet
guy who used to do
(he SINGS Mighty
Mouse)
"Here I come to save the day!"?
(long beat)
Please, enough with the wrestling!
You've lost touch with reality!
ANDY
(ingenuous)
What, you don't think I can beat
him?
GEORGE
He is the Southern Heavyweight
Champion. He'll kill you.
(very disapproving)
First, you piss-off women. Then you
piss-off the South. Then you get
killed!
(dry)
And I did the bookings.
Andy shrugs, lacking a response. He eats more cake.
GEORGE (cont'd)
Andy, look... there's a job I want
you to take -- guest-hosting the TV
show "Fridays." It's not so hot...
but this is a great opportunity for
you. The show's live, they'll give
you carte blanche, and you can get
back to the business of making
people laugh.
Andy gets a strange gleam. He only heard one thing.
ANDY
You said -- live?
INT. FRIDAYS SET, BACKSTAGE - DAY
The FRIDAYS CAST prepares. In a corner, ANDY is arguing
with director JACK BURNS.
ANDY
I'm not comfortable with the last
sketch. I DON'T do drug humor!
JACK BURNS
Andy, it'll be fine! It's what
we're known for!
(playing "stoned")
"Maui? "Wowie!"
ANDY
(losing his temper)
You're not listening to me --
JACK BURNS
Don't worry! The kids will love it
--
ANDY
(he BLOWS up)
But I don't do drugs! And I don't
enjoy making light of them!
(YELLING)
I was promised creative control!
Andy storms off. Eavesdropping cast shake their heads.
ACTOR
What a prick!
INT. FRIDAYS SET, CONTROL BOOTH - DAY
Up in the control booth is -- Maynard. He smiles strangely.
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT
Stanley sits in front of his TV. The Fridays JINGLE and
CREDITS come on. We hear dishes being washed in the
kitchen.
STANLEY
It's on! JANICE, IT'S ON!
Janice rushes in, still holding some dishes.
(THE FOLLOWING IS INTERCUT: Between the studio and the show
on tv at Andy's parents.)
INT. FRIDAYS SET - NIGHT
The show is going, live. A SNIGGERING NARRATOR steps out
front. (During his monologue, the CAMERA PANS the
audience.)
NARRATOR
In this next sketch, two married
couples are out to dinner. Now...
everybody has secretly brought along
a joint --
(crowd WHOOPS, he
grins)
So, when each person leaves the
table, they sneak into the restroom
to get a little high...
The crowd CHEERS rowdily.
CUT TO:
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, FAMILY ROOM - SAME TIME
JANICE
I saw Michael!
STANLEY
Where?
JANICE
(points to the set)
There!
CUT TO:
INT. FRIDAYS SET - NIGHT
In the front row, Michael sits with a girl. He whispers.
MICHAEL
Afterwards, I'll take you backstage.
You can meet my brother.
The girl smiles excitedly.
The SKETCH is on a French restaurant set. ANDY sits at a
table with actor RICHARDS and actress MELANIE. Another
actress, MARY, tiptoes back over, GIGGLING stupidly, playing
stoned.
MARY
"Gee, restaurants are amazing,
aren't they? All these strangers
sitting around... stuffing dead
animals in their faces! It's just
incredible!"
She GIGGLES more. The other three play baffled.
MELANIE
"If you say so."
ACTOR
"Excuse me, I'll be right back."
Andy stands and walks out.
CUT TO:
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, FAMILY ROOM - SAME TIME
JANICE
Hmph! They sure didn't give Andy
much to do.
STANLEY
He said he's coming back!
CUT TO:
INT. FRIDAYS SET - NIGHT
Actors read the menus. Suddenly Andy returns, a strange
grin on his face. He's swaying on his feet.
The audience WHOOPS: "Yeah! All right!"
Andy awkwardly sits. He has a strange hesitancy.
ANDY
"Gee, that bathroom is so colorf--"
Suddenly he STOPS. The actors glance up.
Andy purses his lips, fretting. An endless pause.
Uh-oh. Andy won't finish the line. The cast looks around
worriedly. Live TV is beaming out... Finally, Melanie
covers.
MELANIE
You okay, honey? Something wrong,
Carl?
ANDY
I can't, um...
Andy shakes his head.
The crowd laughs nervously.
ANDY (cont'd)
I can't play stoned.
INT. FRIDAYS SET, CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT
The TECH DIRECTOR and his crew are bewildered. They flip
through script pages.
TECH DIRECTOR
Shit...! What's he doing??
But Maynard raises a calm hand.
MAYNARD
It's okay. Stay with it.
INT. FRIDAYS SET - NIGHT
Silence. Andy is torn up inside.
RICHARDS
(whispering to Andy)
Just read the cue cards!
ANDY
(he shakes his head)
I can't play stoned. I feel really
stupid.
More silence. The actors are trapped and upset.
MELANIE
You feel stupid? What about us?!
The tension is awful.
Unsure beat -- then fed-up Richards jumps up and storms off
the set. A CAMERAMAN hesitantly pans, confused what to do.
Mary is lost. She continues giggling, "stoned."
Richards returns... with the CUE CARDS. Irked, he dumps
them over Andy's head.
The crowd CHEERS stupidly.
ANDY
You didn't have to do that!
Andy gets enraged, grabs his prop water glass and THROWS it
in Richard's face.
RICHARDS
Hey! CUT IT OUT!
MELANIE
You JERK!
Melanie slaps her prop butter in Andy's hair.
WIDE - Jack runs up from the floor. He gestures at the
booth.
JACK BURNS
Go to commercial, man!
(he turns to Andy)
Get off the stage!
ANDY
I said I didn't want to do the
sketch.
JACK BURNS
(he JABS him)
GET OFF!
ANDY
DON'T TOUCH ME!
Andy HITS Jack. Jack recoils and SLUGS him. They start
FIGHTING.
BURLY CREWMEN run in. The crowd WHOOOOOS.
Chaos. Andy swings wildly. The brawl goes wild. Actors
duck. Crewmen struggle to separate Andy and Jack. Everyone
gets dragged in.
IN THE AUDIENCE - Michael tries to run up and help. A
SECURITY GUY blocks him.
INT. FRIDAYS SET, CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT
The tech crew is freaking out. Maynard is oddly calm.
TECH DIRECTOR
Go to three! Eh, go to four!
CUT TO:
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, FAMILY ROOM - SAME TIME
Stanley and Janice are flabbergasted. Jaws wide.
On their TV - fists are flying. Suddenly, the BAND kicks in
and the show abruptly cuts to COMMERCIAL.
They stare at the TV. Until --
STANLEY
I shoulda made him play outdoors.
INT. FRIDAYS SET - NIGHT
Andy and Jack are socking each other. A FLOOR DIRECTOR
screams at the top of his lungs.
FLOOR DIRECTOR
We've gone to commercial! I said,
WE'VE GONE TO COMMERCIAL!!
Andy turns. He notices the red lights are off -- and...
instantly stops fighting. Just like that. Jack instantly
stops too. They glance at each other -- hold a beat -- then
break into GUFFAWS. They laugh and joyously kid each other.
In the audience, Michael is STUNNED.
MELANIE
Oh my God --!
All the commotion stops. The audience doesn't know whether
to laugh or boo. The actors are flabbergasted -- then
furious.
MELANIE (cont'd)
He's a fuckin' psycho!
MARY
Why didn't someone tell us???
Suddenly Maynard runs out of the booth, beaming. People
watch curiously.
Andy seems discombobulated. Maynard shouts out to EVERYBODY
assembled.
MAYNARD
Excuse me!... I have an announcement
to make! You've all just
participated in a "happening." To
make it real, some of you knew, and
some of you didn't.
The audience LAUGHS and APPLAUDS wildly. The actors stare
in disbelief. One laughs hysterically. Most are pissed.
MAYNARD (cont'd)
But we don't want to upset the folks
at home. So now Andy is now going
to apologize and explain that it was
all a prank. Right, Andy?
ANDY
(very quiet)
Right...
MAYNARD
Okay, great! So let's reset!
Crew members start moving things around.
In the audience, Michael locks eyes with Andy. An odd,
knowing moment between the brothers. Michael whispers,
getting worried.
MICHAEL
Andy...!
CUT TO:
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, FAMILY ROOM - SAME TIME
Stanley and Janice feel as if the commercials are lasting
forever.
JANICE
Why is Andy doing this? Why?...
Why?
The Fridays JINGLE starts, and Andy's face fades in on the
TV. He looks directly into the camera, nervous, stiff and
serious.
ANDY (ON TV)
During the commercial, the people at
ABC asked me to apologize... and to
tell you the truth. They wanted me
to explain that this whole fighting
episode was staged...
INT. FRIDAYS SET - NIGHT
The sign above blinks "APPLAUSE". The audience obediently
APPLAUDS. In the booth, Maynard grins.
ANDY
And... um...
(choking up)
I can't do this.
(beat)
I-I can't say it.
(upset)
It's a lie! A cover-up!
Maynard is suddenly very confused. The crowd laughs
nervously.
ANDY (cont'd)
Why are you laughing? I'm not
trying to be funny! They threatened
to fire me from Taxi, unless I gave
in to their demands!
(shaken)
But... I won't! Because what you
saw was REAL!!
INT. FRIDAYS SET, CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT
Maynard looks like he's gonna faint.
MAYNARD
Cue the commercial!
ANDY (ON TV)
These kinds of things go on everyday
at the networks, only you never see
it, because they cut to commercials.
(he talks extremely
fast, to get in as
much information
before he's cut off)
Now for sure they're gonna fire me,
so if you want to see me again,
you'll have to come to Memphis...
And BLINK! Andy gets CUT OFF.
Maynard jumps up, furious. He snaps.
MAYNARD
I'm gonna STRANGLE George Shapiro!
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, FAMILY ROOM - SAME TIME
The parents stare at the commercials. They're totally
disoriented.
JANICE
What's in Memphis?
STANLEY
Who knows?! That kid is totally
meshuga.
CUT TO:
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, MEMPHIS - NIGHT
Memphis wrestling. The announcer stands center ring,
booming into the mike.
ANNOUNCER
And now! The MAIN EVENT of the
evening! The match you've been
waiting for: The King Jerry Lawler,
versus Hollywood Andy Kaufman!
The THEME FROM "ROCKY" PLAYS -- and Lawler enters from the
tunnel, wearing a shimmering hero's cape! The crowd ROARS
with approval.
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, DRESSING ROOM - SAME TIME
Andy is meditating, eyes shut, at rest in his private oasis.
Suddenly -- DESPERATE BANGING on the door.
UPSET VOICE (O.S.)
C'MON, KAUFMAN! Christ, you're ON!
Andy awakens. He smiles.
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM - NIGHT
The THEME FROM "MIGHTY MOUSE" begins playing. Then, ANDY
strides in, a sneer on his grungy face. The crowd SCREAMS
and BOOS pure pile. Andy is euphoric, loving the hatred.
Down in the front row sit Stanley, Janice, Zmuda, and Lynne.
Several PHOTOGRAPHERS take pictures of the parents. They
squint, unused to all this.
Andy prances into the ring. He takes the mike.
ANDY
Before we begin this event, I just
wanna say a few things to you foul
people.
(beat)
This city is filthy! You
Southerners live like pigs! So I'm
going to teach you some lessons in
hygiene... bring you out of your
squalor.
Holy cow. The crowd is flabbergasted. Women in K-mart
dresses gape. Ruddy men in trucker caps glare.
ANDY (cont'd)
Are you listening?
(audience BOOS)
OKAY!!!
Lynne snickers. But Stanley and Janice are ashen-faced.
JANICE
Why is he saying these things?!
STANLEY
They're gonna lynch him!
ZMUDA
(he shakes his head)
Nah. He's just engaging a passive
audience.
Andy reaches in his pocket and removes... a bar of SOAP.
ANDY
People, this is a bar of soap. Does
it look familiar to you? If you wet
it, it'll clean your hands.
Stanley's eyes bulge.
The crowd is enraged -- rumblings of imminent violence.
Andy smiles helpfully.
ANDY (cont'd)
And now, for your next lesson: This
-- is toilet paper.
Andy holds up a ROLL OF TISSUE.
That's it. The crowd goes NUTS. Jerry Lawler races over
and snatches the mike, trying to maintain his dignity.
LAWLER
Kaufman, we've had enough!! Let's
you and me do what we came here for
-- WRESTLING!
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM - SECONDS LATER
And DING! That's the bell! Andy strikes a threatening
pose. Lawler takes a step forward -- and Andy instantly,
cowardly, runs for the ropes and jumps out of the ring.
BOOOOO!!! Andy grins at the crowd and points at his brain:
I'm smarter.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And Kaufman's left the ring!
Lawler's waiting for him to return.
LYNNE
(to Zmuda)
Is this a strategy?
Lawler disparagingly frowns. The REF checks his watch.
Andy crosses to the opposite end of the ring, gauging his
rival... then slowly climbs in --
Until the second Lawler moves. Then Andy leaps back out!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And Kaufman's left the ring again!
He doesn't seem interested in
actually making contact with his
opponent.
Andy struts around the floor, pointing to his brain. He
smirks at various spectators... until he finds himself face-
to-face with -- his parents.
An unexpected moment. Andy's finger frozen on his brain.
Janice shakes her head despairingly.
JANICE
Andy, please. Let's go home!
Cameras FLASH. The paparazzi love these moments.
ANDY
Don't worry, Mom. I'll make you
proud...!
Beat -- then Andy gets HIT in the head with a cup.
People HOOT. Disoriented, Andy returns to the ringside.
Lawler is losing his patience.
LAWLER
Hey! Did you come down here to
wrestle, or to act like an ass?
Andy paces around, unsure of his next move.
LAWLER (cont'd)
Look... if you get in here, I'll
give you a free headlock.
Lawler leans down and offers his neck.
Andy peers skeptically. People JEER. Andy looks at waiting
Lawler... then tentatively climbs in.
As promised, Lawler doesn't move. So Andy crosses over and
grabs Lawler's head! Andy grins triumphantly. He squeezes
his arms tight, muscles flexing, riding high on this moment.
Until -- Lawler stands and flips him over. Andy SLAMS DOWN
on his back. CRUNCH!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
It's a side suplex!!
Andy lies on the mat, unmoving. Lawler doesn't care. He
picks up Andy's prone body and grips it upside-down. Janice
covers her eyes. Stanley is worried.
REFEREE
(frantically
gesturing)
NO! NO!
Lawler disregards the Ref and slams Andy's head in a pile-
driver!!
A horrible THUD.
DING! The BELL immediately RINGS.
JANICE opens her eyes and SCREAMS.
JANICE
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
STANLEY
Why isn't he MOVING??
Andy's parents' reaction is a fiesta for photographers.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Lawler has committed a PILEDRIVER,
which is an AUTOMATIC
DISQUALIFICATION! Match goes to
Kaufman by disqualification, after
two minutes, twelve seconds!
Andy is splayed unconscious.
Raging Lawler promenades around the ring, arms over his
head. The crowd SHOUTS CRAZILY, rooting him on.
Lynne runs to the ropes, SCREAMING for help.
LYNNE
ANDY!!!
(frantic)
Somebody get a DOCTOR!
ZMUDA
(yelling)
WE NEED A STRETCHER!!
Stanley, totally numbed, holds Janice. They're on the verge
of collapsing. Tons of commotion. Cameras FLASH
BLINDINGLY. A stretcher is lifted into the ring. Andy is
loaded on. MUSIC fights the deafening NOISE.
BEDLAM. Andy is carried through the crowd, followed by his
entourage. A soft object HITS Stanley on the head.
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Andy is being carried by the Coliseum EMPLOYEES into the
dressing room. The entourage follows. Zmuda pushes out the
crowd of REPORTERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, and ONLOOKERS. He slams
the door and locks it.
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Janice runs to Andy's side. She's crying.
JANICE
Andy!! Are you okay?!?
Andy opens his eyes.
ANDY
I'm fine, Mom, you can calm down.
A confused beat.
STANLEY
B-but... we saw... your neck...
ANDY
Nah, it's phony baloney -- I faked
the whole thing.
(beat)
It didn't hurt at all. It was just
a yoga move. I tucked my head in.
Deadpan, Andy sits up.
Total silence. Stanley stares... then a FURY comes over
him.
STANLEY
Andrew -- HOW DARE YOU!! For all we
knew, you were DYING! Look at your
mother -- she's still shaking!
Andy is splayed unconscious.
Raging Lawler promenades around the ring, arms over his
head. The crowd SHOUTS CRAZILY, rooting him on.
Lynne runs to the ropes, SCREAMING for help.
LYNNE
ANDY!!!
(frantic)
Somebody get a DOCTOR!
ZMUDA
(yelling)
WE NEED A STRETCHER!!
Stanley, totally numbed, holds Janice. They're on the verge
of collapsing. Tons of commotion. Cameras FLASH
BLINDINGLY. A stretcher is lifted into the ring. Andy is
loaded on. MUSIC fights the deafening NOISE.
BEDLAM. Andy is carried through the crowd, followed by his
entourage. A soft object HITS Stanley on the head.
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Andy is being carried by the Coliseum EMPLOYEES into the
dressing room. The entourage follows. Zmuda pushes out the
crowd of REPORTERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, and ONLOOKERS. He slams
the door and locks it.
INT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Janice runs to Andy's side. She's crying.
JANICE
Andy!! Are you okay?!?
Andy opens his eyes.
ANDY
I'm fine, Mom, you can calm down.
A confused beat.
STANLEY
B-but... we saw... your neck...
ANDY
Nah, it's phony baloney -- I faked
the whole thing.
(beat)
It didn't hurt at all. It was just
a yoga move. I tucked my head in.
Deadpan, Andy sits up.
Total silence. Stanley stares... then a FURY comes over
him.
STANLEY
Andrew -- HOW DARE YOU!! For all we
knew, you were DYING! Look at your
mother -- she's still shaking!
ANDY
But that's it. I needed you to
believe! Our family will be in the
newspapers. People will look, and
they'll be touched. Because your
emotions were honest!
Stanley has a blank expression. But Janice starts to cry.
JANICE
Andy, I love you! I love you,
whatever you do...!
She hugs Andy tightly.
Andy is genuinely shocked. He looks at his quivering
mother... and then his voice softens, truly remorseful.
ANDY
Geez, I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't
have put you through all that...
(quiet)
Well, from now on, you'll always
know the rule of thumb: Anything
that happens to me... IS NOT REAL.
EXT. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM - NIGHT
A crowd of reporters parts. They make way for Andy, who is
carried out on the stretcher and loaded into a waiting
AMBULANCE. He is "unconscious."
Cameras CLICK and FLASH. The ambulance speeds away, siren
WAILING.
INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Andy sits watching an OLD DOCTOR examining a number of x-
rays clipped to light panels.
OLD DOCTOR
I don't see any injury to your neck,
Mr. Kaufman.
ANDY
Are you sure?
OLD DOCTOR
Positive.
ANDY
But my neck hurts... and I have a
slight cough...
OLD DOCTOR
It's probably just a strained
muscle.
ANDY
(intent)
Doctor, I think I need a neck brace.
The Doctor gives up.
OLD DOCTOR
If it makes you happy...
MONTAGE OF NEWSPAPER PHOTOS:
Andy in the ring, Andy outside the ring, on the floor, with
his frightened parents, in a neck brace, on the stretcher,
etc.
INT. ANDY'S APARTMENT - DAY
George, Zmuda and Andy are looking through hundreds of
clippings from the newspapers.
ZMUDA
(reading aloud)
"... has been rushed to a nearby
hospital, where doctors are checking
him for possible paralysis. His
parents are at his bedside. Fans
will best remember Kaufman as
lovable Latka on television's
Taxi"...
ANDY
It's a rave! Boy, if I ever fake my
death, they'll really miss me.
ZMUDA
It's working for Elvis.
GEORGE
(sarcastic)
Yeah, he's just laying low, waitin'
for his comeback.
(he sees an article
and winces)
God, listen to this! "It was
morally wrong to take advantage of
such an unstable individual..."
ZMUDA
Wow, you can't BUY this kind of
publicity!
George rolls his eyes.
ANDY
George, let's not drop the ball on
this. I've made some kind of cosmic
career move.
Somebody KNOCKS outside. Andy jumps up, puts on his neck
brace, and transforms himself into a shuffling invalid. A
DELIVERY BOY drags in an enormous basket of flowers and
goodies. Andy takes the card. It reads "Andy, we're all
praying for you. Your friends at Taxi."
Andy chuckles.
EXT. ROCKEFELLER CENTER - DAY
George is eating with the Saturday Night Live Producer,
Lorne Michaels. They're eating lunch in an outdoor cafe.
GEORGE
Thanks for seeing me on such short
notice.
(he takes a careful
beat)
I... I wanted to talk to you about
booking Andy on "Saturday Night
Live."
Lorne Michaels squirms uncomfortably. He chooses his words.
LORNE MICHAELS
George -- I don't know if Andy works
for our show anymore. That
wrestling stuff... is such a
turnoff.
GEORGE
We agree completely.
(tactfully begging)
Andy has to reconnect with his core
audience. So I got him on Letterman
tonight. He's gonna apologize to
Jerry Lawler, then repent for all
his bad guy shenanigans.
Lorne Michaels mulls this over.
LORNE MICHAELS
That's smart.
GEORGE
He's very sincere.
(quietly emphatic)
And he needs your show...
Beat. Lorne Michaels nods.
LORNE MICHAELS
Okay. It'd be good to have the old
Andy back.
CUT TO:
INT. DAVID LETTERMAN SHOW - NIGHT
Andy and Jerry Lawler are on DAVID LETTERMAN'S show. Andy
is pallid, hair shaggy, in a neckbrace and tweed jacket.
Husky Lawler wears loud red pants and gold chains.
Andy speaks timidly, seeming a bit dazed and regretful.
ANDY
I apologize for all the wrestling
I've ever done. I'm sorry for all
the abuse I've ever given...
(soft)
I was just playing bad guy wrestler.
That's not me... it's just a role.
But Jerry took it personally.
Lawler and Letterman are unimpressed.
LETTERMAN
You said some pretty inflammatory
things.
LAWLER
He thinks everything's a joke -- but
it's not.
(to Andy)
Did you laugh when you were layin'
in the hospital??
The crowd WHOOOOS.
Angst flickers on Andy's sweaty face. He stammers.
ANDY
T-there wasn't a reason to purposely
hurt me --
LAWLER
You're a wimp.
ANDY
(upset)
My father said I should've gotten a
lawyer --!
LAWLER
Then your father's a wimp.
ANDY
(losing it)
And you're just poor white trash!
Lawler's had enough. Enraged, he wildly stands and SLAPS
Andy.
BAM!
Andy crashes over and falls from his chair.
THUD. He's on the floor.
Dead silence. Everyone is astonished.
They're all slack-jawed. Even PAUL SHAFFER. Trying to
cover, Paul hurriedly kicks in with a ROCKABILLY TUNE.
Andy jumps up, crazed.
ANDY (cont'd)
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SHIT!
Lawler freezes in his seat. Letterman hides behind his
desk.
Andy storms over, out-of-control. From a safe distance, he
starts SCREAMING at Lawler.
ANDY (cont'd)
YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT, Lawler! I
WILL SUE YOUR ASS! YOU'RE A FUCKING
ASSHOLE!
(he POUNDS the desk)
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! I WILL GET YOU
FOR THIS!!!
Freaked, Andy leaps up and storms out.
LETTERMAN
You said some pretty inflammatory
things.
LAWLER
He thinks everything's a joke -- but
it's not.
(to Andy)
Did you laugh when you were layin'
in the hospital??
The crowd WHOOOOS.
Angst flickers on Andy's sweaty face. He stammers.
ANDY
T-there wasn't a reason to purposely
hurt me --
LAWLER
You're a wimp.
ANDY
(upset)
My father said I should've gotten a
lawyer --!
LAWLER
Then your father's a wimp.
ANDY
(losing it)
And you're just poor white trash!
Lawler's had enough. Enraged, he wildly stands and SLAPS
Andy.
BAM!
Andy crashes over and falls from his chair.
THUD. He's on the floor.
Dead silence. Everyone is astonished.
They're all slack-jawed. Even PAUL SHAFFER. Trying to
cover, Paul hurriedly kicks in with a ROCKABILLY TUNE.
Andy jumps up, crazed.
ANDY (cont'd)
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SHIT!
Lawler freezes in his seat. Letterman hides behind his
desk.
Andy storms over, out-of-control. From a safe distance, he
starts SCREAMING at Lawler.
ANDY (cont'd)
YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT, Lawler! I
WILL SUE YOUR ASS! YOU'RE A FUCKING
ASSHOLE!
(he POUNDS the desk)
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! I WILL GET YOU
FOR THIS!!!
Freaked, Andy leaps up and storms out.
The crowd CHEERS rowdily.
An unsure moment. Dave glances at Lawler.
Until, Andy stumbles back in. He tries to calm himself.
ANDY (cont'd)
I am sorry. I am sorry to use those
words on television. I apologize!
I'm sorry!
(demented)
But YOU -- you're a MOTHERFUCKING
ASSHOLE!!!!
Andy slams Dave's desk. Dave jerks nervously.
Crazed, Andy looks down at Dave's coffee cup. Uh-oh.
Suddenly, Andy grabs the coffee and DUMPS it on Lawler!
Lawler jumps, burned. A SECURITY GUARD runs in.
Andy screams and hurtles away. He slams open the stage door
and barrels out of sight.
INTERCUT:
INT. LORNE MICHAELS' HOUSE - SAME TIME
Lorne Michaels is watching this at home. He gapes in
disbelief.
LORNE MICHAELS
Jesus Christ.
CUT TO:
INT. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - ONE WEEK LATER
A SMUG COMIC stands on stage, speaking into camera. The
show's going out live.
SMUG COMIC
Hi. Um, we were supposed to have
Andy Kaufman on our show this week -
- but now our producers aren't sure
if it's such a good idea.
(beat)
Some of us at Saturday Night Live
think Kaufman's a comic genius. But
others disagree... they say he's
just not funny anymore.
(beat)
So we're putting the decision up to
you. Please call up and vote. To
keep Andy, call 1-900-244-7618. To
DUMP him, call...
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST - DAY
Tight on Andy, staring at the LA Times. A small headline
says "JOKESTER ANDY KAUFMAN VOTED OFF 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'"
He is bothered.
ANDY
This is bad... I only got 28
percent! I'm like McGovern in
'72...
George sighs.
GEORGE
And this wasn't "Merv." This was
the hippest audience on television.
(grim)
They've turned on you.
At that... we reveal that SOMEONE ELSE is sitting next to
Andy. But only the back of his head is visible.
GEORGE (cont'd)
It's like you two guys wanted to
destroy Andy's career! Upsetting
all those people... putting out that
toxic venom...
(helpless)
What did you THINK would happen?!
ANDY
(guilty)
We were just trying to push the
envelope --
GEORGE
You're BLIND! There is no envelope
anymore!!
(beat)
It hurts me to say this... but
there's only one solution --
(pained)
I don't want you two to ever work
together again.
We WIDEN...
And the other person is JERRY LAWLER. He feels bad.
JERRY LAWLER
I'm sorry. We thought it was
funny...
ANDY
Jer', it's not your fault. You were
terrific.
(sad)
But maybe George is right...
JERRY LAWLER
That's fine. But I wouldn't have
traded it for anything...
(poignant)
Because for one brief, shining
moment... the world thought that
wrestling was real.
Andy gulps emotionally.
ANDY
We'll stay in touch. Next time I'm
in Memphis, I'll stop by the house,
and Noreen can make me her double
chocolate cake.
JERRY LAWLER
Alright, buddy...
(choked up)
Stay good.
Andy and Jerry hug.
A touching beat... until Andy gets a Quixotic gleam.
ANDY
Maybe I can turn it into a bit. I
can go back on the show, and say it
was rigged. Demand a recount...
GEORGE
Andy! You don't get it!
(somber)
They don't want you back.
Andy's face drops.
INT. MEDITATION INSTITUTE UNIVERSITY, CORRIDOR - DAY
The Yogi slowly walks down the corridor, deep in thought. A
few DISCIPLES IN TURBANS mill around.
INT. MEDITATION INSTITUTE UNIVERSITY, CLASSROOM - DAY
NINE STUDENTS, sitting in the Lotus position, are listening
to a teacher. The teacher is Andy.
ANDY
Open your eyes... close your eyes...
open your eyes... close your eyes...
open your eyes... close your eyes...
Andy is repeating this faster and faster; the students are
blinking their eyes faster and faster.
The door opens. The Yogi sticks his head in.
YOGI
Excuse me, Andy...
ANDY
Yes, your Holiness?
The Yogi signals Andy to step out of the room.
INT. MEDITATION INSTITUTE UNIVERSITY, CORRIDOR - DAY
Andy steps out.
YOGI
This is very difficult for me to
say... but -- perhaps it would be
best if you didn't attend the
retreat.
ANDY
(surprised)
Why?? I... I attend every year.
YOGI
Yes -- we do not doubt your devotion
to TM. But we feel that perhaps...
you and the program have grown apart
philosophically.
Andy is stunned.
ANDY
"Philosophically"?
YOGI
(he sighs)
The wrestling... the sexist
remarks... the foul language...
these things are not becoming of an
enlightened individual.
(beat)
It seems you have no respect for
anything.
Andy is stupefied. He doesn't know how to respond.
ANDY
Of course I do...
The Yogi shakes his head. Andy can't believe it. He looks
around -- men in turbans staring at him.
Andy cracks.
ANDY
Please! You've GOT to let me take
the classes! It's how I keep myself
BALANCED!!
YOGI
It is apparently not working.
ANDY
So HELP ME! All I wanna do is
MEDITATE!!
YOGI
(pained)
Andy, don't raise your voice. We
don't wish your presence here.
Andy is broken.
He fights to bottle his rage -- then notices Little Wendy
down the corridor, peering helplessly. Beaten, Andy waves
goodbye to her.
Little Wendy gulps, then waves goodbye too.
CUT TO:
INT. ANDY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Middle of the afternoon, Andy lies in bed. Covers pulled up
to his face, expression glum, he's like a tragic still-life.
Suddenly DING-DONG! It's the doorbell.
Andy ignores this. Beat. Another DING-DONG! Then
KNOCKING.
ANDY
Go away.
LYNNE (O.S.)
It's me.
ANDY
Oh, it's open.
The door opens. Lynne enters, holding a carton of ice
cream.
LYNNE
I brought you Haagen Dazs.
Chocolate.
ANDY
(mournful)
I don't deserve Haagen Daz. I'm a
horrible person.
LYNNE
Andy, you're not horrible. You're
just... complicated.
ANDY
You don't know the real me.
LYNNE
Andy... there is no real you.
TIGHT - ANDY
An astonished silence.
And then... he slowly smiles.
ANDY
You're probably right.
They both giggle.
Andy studies her... looking at Lynne's face, body, eyes.
Pause.
ANDY
Do you wanna move in together?
Lynne smiles slyly. She leans down and kisses him.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE - DAY
A moving van outside a funky 60's house. MOVERS carry boxes
in.
INT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
Andy sits disoriented in the living room. Movers bustle
around him. Mirrors get leaned against opposing walls --
and he finds himself looking into multiple reflections of
himself.
In the b.g., Lynne arranges some vases, then hurries out.
Andy opens a box and pulls out his old Howdy Doody doll. He
smiles, then places Howdy on the shelf next to the vases.
Suddenly a phone on the floor RINGS. He grins.
ANDY
Hey! Our first phone call!
(he scrambles for
the phone)
Hello?
GEORGE (V.O.)
Andy... it's me. I've got some
crummy news.
(long beat)
Taxi's been canceled.
Silence.
Andy has no response.
GEORGE (V.O.) (cont'd)
Do you want me to come over? Talk
about it?
ANDY
Um... no. Uh, I'm sorta busy right
now. Thanks. We'll get together
next week.
Andy hangs up. He just sits there... confused... unsure how
to react.
Andy scratches his head -- then feels something odd. He
goes over to the mirror. On the back of his neck... is an
inflamed red pimple. Andy grimaces.
ANDY (cont'd)
Yuck!
INT. LA IMPROV, SHOWROOM - LATE NIGHT
Very late -- a clock says 1:15. A YOUNG COMIC is onstage,
performing to the DOZEN audience members left.
In back walks... Andy. Unshaven, morose, he quietly
approaches paternal owner BUDD FRIEDMAN. Budd sees him,
grins, and gives him a hearty hug. Andy points at the stage
and asks for something -- Budd eagerly nods.
INT. LA IMPROV, SHOWROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
Budd is onstage.
BUDD
And now we have a treat for you late-
night diehards. The star of Taxi --
here in person, Andy Kaufman!
The sparse crowd APPLAUDS. Budd leaves, and Andy shuffles
up.
ANDY
Actually, Budd, you're wrong. I
found out today that Taxi's been
canceled.
The crowd AWWWWS sadly. Andy blinks.
ANDY (cont'd)
Yeah, that's how I felt too...
though I don't know why. 'Cause for
years, all I wanted to do was get
off that show.
(quiet, very
confessional)
But now that nobody will hire me,
and nobody thinks I'm funny... I
guess it was probably a pretty good
job.
One guy LAUGHS sharply.
Andy gives him a look -- thinks -- then continues.
ANDY (cont'd)
Not to mention that my wife has left
me. And she took the kids.
(he sighs)
I don't know what I'm gonna do with
myself. My options are sorta
limited...
(beat)
This morning, I noticed I've got a
cyst, or some kind of boil, on the
back of my neck. It's really
disgusting. Look.
Andy turns. The red lump is bigger, grosser. The crowd
GROANS, revolted.
ANDY (cont'd)
So I was thinking, since I'm sort of
a quasi-celebrity, that I could
charge people to touch it.
(candid)
Does anybody want to pay a buck to
touch my cyst?
A couple stoners GIGGLE and CLAP. Andy COUGHS, then frowns.
ANDY (cont'd)
I'm serious.
A pause... then a few curious people walk up to the stage.
The first taker is a GOOFY BLONDE WOMAN. She starts to
reach for the cyst -- when Andy stops her.
ANDY (cont'd)
No, no, you gotta pay first.
She nods, discomforted, and reaches for her purse...
CUT TO:
INT. LA IMPROV, BAR - LATER THAT NIGHT
A BUSBOY sweeps up. Budd counts money in the cash register.
Andy shuffles out of the showroom. He waves some bills.
ANDY
I made six bucks. That's good
money.
Budd stares sadly.
BUDD
This is a comedy club -- not a
medical sideshow.
(trying to be kind)
If you wanna perform here, take a
shower, get some sleep, and pull
yourself together. Come back and do
the material that people love: Do
the Mighty Mouse, the Foreign guy!
Andy, you gotta snap out of this
funk! If you can -- I'll give you
the headline spot tomorrow.
Andy thinks. The wheels are spinning.
CUT TO:
EXT. MELROSE - DAY
George is driving down Melrose, listening to the radio. He
glances at the passing marquee -- then does a doubletake.
It says "ANDY KAUFMAN - 9 P.M."
INT. LA IMPROV, LOBBY - THAT NIGHT
Puzzled George hurries inside. COMICS greet him: "Hey
George!" "George, you got a second?!" George distractedly
waves and moves through. At the showroom door, he finds
Budd.
GEORGE
Hey, what's going on here?
BUDD
George, you won't believe it... I
got Andy to do all the old material!
(grinning)
And he's killin' them!
Inside, there's HUGE LAUGHTER. George's eyes widen.
Piqued, he goes in...
INT. LA IMPROV, SHOWROOM - NIGHT
And it's packed! Andy is onstage, playing struggling,
lovable Foreign Man.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
... but one ting I do not like is
too much traffic. Tonight I had to
come on de freeway, and it was so
much traffic...
(giggling)
It took me an hour and a half to get
here!
Foreign Man chuckles pathetically.
The crowd HOWLS. Andy's rockin'.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
But talking about the terrible
things: My wife. Take my --
INTERRUPTING JERK
"Take my wife, please take her."
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
T-take my wife, please take her...
The rhythm is thrown. A couple laughs.
A flustered pause. Andy glances down, then continues.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
No really, I am only foolink. I
love my wife very much. But she
don't know how to cook --
INTERRUPTING JERK
"Her cooking is so bad, is
terrible."
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
H-her cooking...
(Andy stumbles
uncomfortably)
Uh, cooking is so bad, is terrible.
The laughs are weaker. The act is getting wrecked.
IN BACK - George grimaces. Who the hell's doing this??
Angry, George hurries down front, looking for the loud jerk.
He scans the tables... and it's Zmuda.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN) (cont'd)
But right now --
ZMUDA (AS JERK)
"But right now I would like to do
for you some imitations. First, the
Archie Bunker."
Andy freezes up.
The audience is embarrassed.
A frazzled confusion, then Andy drops the accent. He glares
at Zmuda.
ANDY
Sir, do you have a problem?
ZMUDA (AS JERK)
Yeah, my problem is you're tired.
Andy winces.
ANDY
I, I was asked to do this material -
-
ZMUDA (AS JERK)
Sure, because your new stuff's a
bunch of crap. Kaufman, people are
sick of you. The wrestling... the
hoaxes...
ANDY
(defensive)
Hey -- that stuff gets written-up in
the papers --
ZMUDA (AS JERK)
Who gives a shit?! It's not funny!
GEORGE - is dumbfounded.
GEORGE
(to himself)
Why...? Andy, why...?
ON ANDY AND ZMUDA
ZMUDA
I used to think you were original.
ANDY
I was very original!
ZMUDA
Yeah, exactly -- "was"! But now,
you're creatively bankrupt.
(he gleams cruelly)
In fact, Ladies and Gentlemen,
Kaufman's so desperate, he PAID me
to do this tonight!! I'm a plant.
It's just a fresh coat of paint on
an old broken-down routine.
(back to Andy)
Isn't that true???
Andy shudders.
The audience averts their eyes.
A painful silence.
"Andy Kaufman" has been destroyed.
EXT. LA IMPROV - LATER THAT NIGHT
Andy and George walk sadly down the street. There is a
horrible gloom over them.
ANDY
The world thinks Andy Kaufman sucks.
So I was just giving 'em what they
want...
GEORGE
(sadly)
Andy, they don't think you suck.
They've just... lost a reason to
love you.
The guys stop walking. George gently speaks.
GEORGE (cont'd)
You've gotta make the public embrace
you again. You have to win back
their sympathy...
ON ANDY
He nods.
ANDY
I'll come up with something.
CUT TO:
INT. LAUREL CANYON, BEDROOM - NIGHT
The telephone wakes up Lynne in the new bedroom. She looks
over -- Andy's not there. She looks at the clock and it's
4:30 am. She picks up the phone.
LYNNE
Andy!!... Where are you? I've been
worried sick... NOW??... Where do
you want to meet?... Okay, I'll call
them...
Lynne's baffled.
INT. DENNY'S - DAWN
Late-night Hollywood weirdos mill about. Andy sits with
bleary Lynne, Zmuda, and George. Zmuda admires the menu.
ZMUDA
Look at that Grand Slam! Two eggs,
two bacon, two sausage, two pancakes
-- $2.99! How do they do it?
LYNNE
They get you on the coffee.
GEORGE
(irritable)
Excuse me -- but could Andy tell us
why we're here???
All heads turn. A long pause.
Then -- Andy stiffly speaks.
ANDY
I have cancer.
Beat. Zmuda nods.
ZMUDA
Hey, that's good! We can make that
play.
(spitballing)
And we'll really drag it out. You
get better, you get worse... you
die...
GEORGE
FORGET IT. It's in terrible taste!
I want nothing to do with this.
Pause. Lynne is puzzled.
LYNNE
Andy, are you serious?
ZMUDA
(grinning)
Serious like a heart attack! Hey,
maybe I can push you around in some
goofy wheelchair!
Andy softly shakes his head.
ANDY
No, it's true. I have lung cancer.
GEORGE
That's ridiculous. You don't even
smoke.
ANDY
(emphatic)
I -- I got some freaky rare kind.
It's called large-celled carcinoma.
Lynne's eyes tear up. She hugs onto Andy.
LYNNE
Jesus, Andy! Can they cure it?
ANDY
They don't know... they've gotta run
more tests.
LYNNE
(starting to cry)
Have you told your family?
ANDY
No, NO! Not yet. I feel bad --
I've jerked 'em around so many
times.
George and Zmuda glance skeptically at each other. Hmm...
Confused, George leans in to Andy.
GEORGE
Andy... you look me in the eye, and
tell me this is true.
Andy gulps.
ANDY
George -- it's true.
INT. DENNY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
George confronts Zmuda.
GEORGE
If I find out you're behind this,
I'll kill you.
ZMUDA
What are ya TALKIN' ABOUT?! I was
the one saying I didn't believe it!
GEORGE
Exactly. That's the sort of thing
you guys would work out to fuck me
up.
INT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE - DAY
Andy is doing laundry. He empties the clean clothes, puts
them in a basket, and carries them to the rug. Then he sits
down and starts laying out pairs of socks in highly
symmetrical patterns. Focused, impassive, Andy pointlessly
orders the socks like the world depended on it.
Lynne enters, emotionally wrecked. She stares in
frustration at Andy's behavior.
LYNNE
How can you be so casual??!
ANDY
(he shrugs)
Even if I'm dying -- I still need
clean socks.
LYNNE
You're NOT DYING!
ANDY
Okay. You're probably right.
He keeps working. Lynne loses it.
LYNNE
God, you're so detached!!
Lynne storms out.
Andy finishes his socks. Satisfied... he turns on the TV.
ON THE TV: It's "Lassie." Little TIMMY is laid-up in bed,
with a broken leg. Suddenly LASSIE runs in, holding a book.
Lassie places the book on his lap. The boy smiles
gratefully.
TIMMY (ON TV)
Thank you, girl. You're my best
friend.
Timmy warmly embraces the dog.
ANDY - is terribly touched. Tears start rolling down his
face.
Genuine sobbing. Terrible grief, until he wipes his cheeks.
Andy collects himself, then reaches for a phone. He dials a
long number.
ANDY
(on phone)
Dad...?
CUT TO:
INT. CEDARS SINAI, RADIATION ROOM - DAY
ANDY lies under the machine. It bombards his body with
powerful radiation.
INT. CEDARS SINAI, DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY
The whole Kaufman family is gathered. Stanley, Janice,
Michael and Carol listen to a BLAND DOCTOR in a white coat.
DOCTOR
The cancer started in Andy's left
arm and spread to his lungs. We've
initiated an aggressive radiation
program... see if we can eradicate
the affected cells.
(his BEEPER goes
off)
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
The doctor leaves. A somber silence -- and then Janice
bursts into tears. Stanley hugs her tightly.
Carol watches the doctor with great hostility. His old
tennis shoes are grabbing her attention. He leaves, and she
frowns.
CAROL
What a crock.
STANLEY
(angered)
How dare you make light of this!
CAROL
Dad, I cried when he broke his neck.
He's not gettin' me again --
STANLEY
(impassioned)
Jesus! He's got lung cancer!
A standoff moment. Carol loses it.
CAROL
See, that's exactly it! He picked
lung cancer, because he doesn't
smoke. That makes it weird! If
he'd picked leukemia, it'd be
totally believable, and we'd all be
going, "Poor Andy, he's really
sick." So he chose lung cancer,
because he WANTS us to be scratching
our heads, saying, "Is this real?"
JANICE
(trying to convince
herself)
Of course it's real. We're in a
hospital...
MICHAEL
Mom, it's Cedars-Sinai! It's a
showbiz hospital! Andy's studio
friends probably run this place!
CAROL
He plans these things out. He takes
over, hires actors...
(beat)
Personally, I didn't think that
"doctor" was very convincing.
MICHAEL
Did you notice his costume had the
wrong shoes?
CAROL
(excited)
Yeah! He didn't have doctor shoes!
A moment of total silence. All four of them look at each
other. Is there... a glimmer of hope?
MICHAEL
We all know he's talked about faking
his own death...
STANLEY
Sure -- but what if he isn't?
(sad; poignant)
My son could be dying... and we're
actin' like we're on Candid Camera.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE - DAY
George pulls up in his convertible. He jumps out.
He walks to the door and starts to knock -- when suddenly it
creeps open. It's Lynne, putting her finger to her lips:
Shh!
INT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
The house is dark. Lynne leads George into the shrouded
living room... and Andy is sitting in a Lotus position,
concentrating. In front is a WILD-HAIRED MAN in a purple
robe.
WILD-HAIRED MAN
I want you to visualize. Visualize
big, healthy white cells in your
body. Now visualize little cancer
cells. Now those big white cells
are attacking the cancer cells...
ANDY
I see them... I see the white
cells...
In the corner -- George stares. He's fighting his
skepticism.
CUT TO:
INT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - LATER THAT DAY
The drapes are open. Sunlight streams in. Andy hugs the
teacher goodbye, and the man leaves.
George has been waiting in back.
GEORGE
What was that all about?
ANDY
It's visualization therapy. He's
helping me turn inward and fight the
disease.
Long beat.
GEORGE
He's an actor. I remember him in
"The In-Laws."
Ah. Andy's eyes widen. His wheels are spinning fast.
ANDY
Uh, yes... that's true. But he's
also ordained in holistic medicine.
ON GEORGE - He glares, stewing. George is fed up.
ON ANDY - An unspoken tension. Then suddenly, he breaks
down.
ANDY (cont'd)
George, what am I supposed to do?!
I'm sick, and I'm tryin' to get
better... but everyone's lookin' at
me funny! Even you come to my home
and act like I'm puttin' on a skit!
GEORGE
You must take a little pleasure in
it.
ANDY
Of course!
(beat)
But that doesn't mean I don't need
everyone's support! I can't be
surrounded by negative energy.
George shakes his head.
GEORGE
Andy, you're surrounded by what you
create. You are the KING of
negative energy.
ANDY
(thrown)
Y-yeah? Well, then it has to stop!
Because if these bad vibes get
out... then everyone will be talkin'
about how sick I am, and it becomes
a self-fulfilling prophecy, and then
-- I'm dead.
Andy struggles to remain composed. George sighs.
GEORGE
So how can I help you...?
ANDY
I wanna go back to work and put on a
happy show.
(bright-eyed)
The best show anybody's ever seen!
GEORGE
Do you wanna tour the clubs?
ANDY
No clubs. I wanna reach the TOP!
(beat)
Carnegie Hall...!
George gently smiles.
CUT TO:
INT. NATIONAL ENQUIRER OFFICES - DAY
A STAFF meeting at the National Enquirer.
REPORTER #1
I'm working on a great cover story:
I've got a guy in the lab at Cedars.
He says Andy Kaufman is dying of
lung cancer.
Beat. The room GROANS.
EDITOR
What bullshit! No. No more Kaufman
stories! He's burned us too many
times!
REPORTER #2
Yeah, he's definitely not dying.
He's playing Carnegie Hall next
month!
The Reporter frowns.
REPORTER #1
Jesus. Only Kaufman would use
cancer as a publicity stunt.
INT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE - NIGHT
A 16mm PROJECTOR runs a scratchy 1930's movie short on the
wall. Smiling fake COWBOYS and COWGIRLS dance, the cowgirls
straddling hobby horses. They all SING.
COWBOYS AND COWGIRLS
"I've got spurs
That jingle-jangle jingle..."
WE WIDEN
Andy, George and Zmuda watch. Andy's face is enthralled
like a kid.
ANDY
This is great. The crowd's gonna
love this!
(giddy; thinking)
Hey... do you still think any of
those cowgirls are still alive?
ZMUDA
I dunno. If they were, they'd be
pushin' 80.
ANDY
Well, call SAG. It'd be cool to get
one on the show.
(excited)
I want the evening to build and
build. It's gonna have the most
incredible ending: Singers, dancers,
the "Hallelujah Chorus" -- then the
sky opens, and Santa Claus comes
flying down!
ZMUDA
And you say, "Santa, what am I
gettin' for Christmas?" And he
says, "Cancer!"
ANDY
No! NO NO NO! None of that! I
want this show to be positive!
GEORGE
That's great... but this show's
gonna cost a fortune. Even if it
sells out, you'll still lose eighty
grand.
Andy smiles.
ANDY
I don't care about the money. I
just want the show to deliver.
GEORGE
So who's gonna pay for it?
ANDY
Tony Clifton.
GEORGE
(beat)
You know Tony doesn't have that kind
of money.
ANDY
Then he'll borrow it. I know Tony
better than you do. Even if he has
to work another ten years to pay it
off, he'll do it!
Pause. George considers this -- then slowly nods.
GEORGE
Okay, Andy. Will do.
CUT TO:
INT. CEDARS SINAI - DAY
Andy silently sits. The doctor and two NURSES administer a
chemo drip into Andy's body.
He stares at the needle in his arm.
The chemo begins.
CUT TO:
EXT. CARNEGIE HALL - NIGHT
A dressy NEW YORK CROWD pushes into Carnegie Hall. The
marquee says "ANDY KAUFMAN."
INT. CARNEGIE HALL - LATER THAT NIGHT
The show is on. Andy effusively PLAYS his conga drum and
SINGS nonsense words to "Allouette, Gentille Alloutte."
ANDY
Abbu daba, abi abbu daba! Abbu
daba, abu dabu do!
(to the crowd)
Abbu dabbu da ba do...!
Everyone repeats. In the audience, George sings along too.
AUDIENCE
ABBU DABBU DA BA DO!!
ANDY
A ba du ba ti la ma na go!
AUDIENCE
A BA DU BA TI... LA... MA NA GO...
ANDY
(grinning)
Abbu da ba du ba ti lama na gobo abi
tabu la!
AUDIENCE
ABBU DA BA DU...
The crowd hopelessly breaks out LAUGHING.
ANDY laughs along. They're all having a good time.
INT. CARNEGIE HALL - LATER THAT NIGHT
The corny "Jingle Jangle Cowboy" MOVIE is playing on a big
screen. It finishes. Beaming Andy grabs the mike.
ANDY
Ladies and Gentlemen! I'm pleased
to announce that we have with us the
one surviving cowgirl from that 1931
film, Eleanor "Cody" Gould!!
Crazed APPLAUSE. Frail ELEANOR GOULD, 75, comes onstage.
ANDY (cont'd)
It's such an honor to have you here.
ELEANOR
(squinting into the
lights)
Andy... this is so overwhelming...
ANDY
Well, it's gettin' even better!
'Cause we found one of the original
hobby horses! Do you -- do you
think you could treat us to a few
steps from "Jingle Jangle Jingle"?
Eleanor starts to protest -- but Andy hands her the HOBBY
HORSE. She blushes. Andy turns away, goes to the band, and
starts conducting. They begin to PLAY "JINGLE JANGLE
JINGLE." Eleanor awkwardly starts dancing in circles.
Andy gets excited and conducts FASTER. Eleanor is sweating.
She dances faster.
Andy impatiently SPEEDS UP the MUSIC MORE. Eleanor
desperately skips in circles, trying to keep up... when
suddenly she grabs her heart.
Eleanor stops -- and collapses. She's down.
A horrified GASP from the crowd. The band stops playing.
CREW MEMBERS run on from backstage. One checks her heart.
She's not moving. Zmuda runs out, horrified.
ZMUDA
Is there a doctor in the house??!
The crowd is stunned silent. Pause -- then one man stands.
It's Michael.
Straight-faced, he hurries out of his seat, sprints down the
aisle, and goes on stage. Michael checks her pulse and
loosens her blouse. He presses Eleanor's chest, trying to
restart her heart. But then -- he shakes his head sadly.
She's dead.
The crowd MOANS sadly. Michael covers Eleanor with a
jacket.
INT. CARNEGIE HALL, BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
Andy watches, pleased. Suddenly, he COUGHS harshly. Andy
drinks some water. Pause... then he puts on a goofy Indian
headdress and runs back out.
INT. CARNEGIE HALL - NIGHT
Eleanor lies dead. Andy skips over and starts doing an
Indian war dance around her body. The crowd is baffled.
Andy WHOOPS, he CHANTS... and then Eleanor starts to rise!
He WHOOPS triumphantly. She lives, like Frankenstein
reborn! The crowd CHEERS, surprised and giggling.
ANDY
Ladies and Gentlemen, she's alive!
Huge APPLAUSE.
CHOIR (O.S.)
HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!
ANDY
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir!!!
Rear curtains part, and the MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR belts
out the "Hallelujah Chorus"!
It's spectacular. The crowd goes nuts.
ANDY (cont'd)
Oh my gosh, it's the Rockettes!
Yes indeed, TWO DOZEN ROCKETTES rush in from the sides, legs
kicking high.
The crowd WHOOS.
ANDY (cont'd)
Girls and Boys, it's Santa Claus!!
Snow start falling, and SANTA ON HIS SLEIGH drops from
above.
The crowd screams with excitement. It's unbelievable. They
leap to a standing ovation.
In front are Stanley and Janice. They start crying.
Beaming Andy embraces Eleanor. Then he takes the mike.
ANDY (cont'd)
And it's not over yet!! 'Cause I'm
taking you all out to Milk and
Cookies!!
The crowd laughs.
ANDY (cont'd)
I'm serious!!!!!!!
EXT. CARNEGIE HALL - MINUTES LATER
A thousand people file out -- and THIRTY-FIVE SCHOOLBUSES
are parked up and down Fifth Avenue!!! The crowd is AWED.
Andy euphorically marches out, pushing his endurance. He's
the Pied Piper.
ANDY
Single file! Don't rush! There's
enough cookies for everyone!!
EXT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - LATER THAT NIGHT
The schoolbuses pull up to a school. The disoriented
passengers step out, not sure what to expect...
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, CAFETERIA - NIGHT
The audience crowds inside... and LADY CAFETERIA WORKERS in
hairnets are dispensing milk and cookies. It's remarkable.
At a little kids table sit Andy and Lynne. Andy's face is
pure joy. He watches all the adults munching on their
cookies, everyone giddy at the silliness of it all.
Andy smiles beautifully. He squeezes Lynne's hand, then
whispers.
ANDY
I don't want this to ever end...
EXT. NEW MEXICO DESERT - DAY
A stucco SPA RESORT sits in the middle of the rocky desert.
INT. SPA - SAME TIME
A room with soft lighting and billowing curtains. A New Age
HEALER is laying crystals upon Andy's body.
Andy COUGHS. His hat is off, revealing he's bald.
HEALER
Now we'll place a blue crystal.
Very high vibrations. It's
wonderful for it's healing powers.
ANDY
(spellbound)
Okay. Let's try two of those... and
one of the pink ones.
EXT. SPA - DAY
Zmuda stands with a swarmy ADMINISTRATOR.
ADMINISTRATOR
Your friend is doing four crystal
sessions a day, but it's just not
helping.
ZMUDA
I know...
(beat)
The cancer's terminal.
ADMINISTRATOR
Yes. That wasn't made particularly
clear to us when he checked in...
ZMUDA
(irked)
Look, personally, I think rubbing
rocks on people is a load of
horseshit. But if it makes Andy
happy, that's all that matters.
The man purses his lips.
ADMINISTRATOR
I'm sorry to sound crass -- but we
don't want to be "that health resort
in New Mexico where Andy Kaufman
died."
(beat)
I'm going to have to ask you to
leave.
Zmuda is speechless.
INT. SPA, ANDY'S ROOM - LATER THAT DAY
Zmuda angrily packs Andy's bags. Zmuda is seething.
But Andy is strangely calm and unaffected.
ANDY
It's okay, Bob. It wasn't really
working.
(a gentle smile)
We'll find something better.
INT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE, KITCHEN - DAY
Lynne and Little Wendy are cooking Andy lunch. Lynne mashes
up strange unidentifiable plant products.
LITTLE WENDY
What is this stuff?
LYNNE
It's all macrobiotic. Millet,
burdock root, kelp... Andy says
it'll purify him.
Suddenly -- a SHARP VOICE.
TONY CLIFTON (O.S.)
What is that crap? Looks like
somethin' my dog would puke up!!
The women turn. It's Andy -- dressed as Tony Clifton.
A spooked moment.
Tony's wig, peach tux, and sunglasses are there... but Andy
is barely strong enough to bark out the attitude.
TONY CLIFTON
How 'bout me and you dolls go get
some REAL food: French fries and a
Porterhouse steak!
LYNNE
(not sure what to
say)
...Andy...?
Little Wendy's eyes pop: Oh no she broke the rule! Tony
gets very indignant.
TONY CLIFTON
I ain't Andy! I'm Tony! Andy's
sick -- pick, chick, kick, lick!
The doctor says he's a goner.
(rousing himself)
But Tony's built like a mule! Andy
asked me to be his pallbearer! I'll
do it for him! I'm getting stronger
and stronger! Here, watch this!
Tony picks up a CHAIR and starts lifting it: Up, down, up,
down. Worried, the women rush to stop him. They take the
chair.
LYNNE
Stop it! C'mon, put that down.
TONY CLIFTON
Yeah, you're right. We better get
movin'. We don't wanna miss Happy
Hour at Kelbos -- all the Mai Tai's
you can drink for $4.99.
Tony jauntily turns to exit. He gestures to the ladies.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
Let's go!
(he starts SINGING
"New York, New
York")
"These vagabond blues,
Are washin' away.
I'll make a brand new start of
it..."
Tony reaches the doorway -- and collapses.
He clutches himself in pain.
LYNNE AND LITTLE WENDY
Andy!!
Shocked, they run over.
Tony lies huddled on the ground. He mutters sadly,
defeatedly.
TONY CLIFTON
Dammit...
CUT TO:
EXT. LAUREL CANYON HOUSE - DUSK
The sun is setting, purple and orange over the hills. Andy
and George lie on chaise lounges, serenely staring out.
Andy has a blank look on his face, and has lost more weight.
He is a shadow of himself.
ANDY
I can't move my arm.
GEORGE
(awkwardly)
You've got good days and bad days.
Andy softly sighs.
ANDY
My hair is coming out.
GEORGE
(whispers)
Yeah...
George silently pats Andy. Andy's energy is sapped, but he
forces himself to be upbeat.
ANDY
I've got an idea for a new TV show
for me to star in. It's called
"Uncle Andy's Fun House" -- it'll be
a Saturday morning thing where I can
goof off with the kids. You know,
puppets, magic tricks...
George is choked up. He goes along with it.
GEORGE
(long pause)
I think we can sell that.
Silence.
George struggles not to shatter Andy's enthusiasm.
Andy smiles gratefully.
ANDY
Hey... thanks for always backin' me.
George clenches Andy's hand.
GEORGE
Did your -- doctor say it's okay for
you to go back to work?
ANDY
Ehhh, you know those guys. If he
had his way, I'd be stuck in the
hospital, running tests all day.
(beat)
And anyway, I've found a new guy
who's gonna be able to instantly
remove the cancer.
GEORGE
(startled)
Really?
ANDY
Yeah! He's a psychic surgeon in the
Philippines, and he's amazing! He
rubs you and sucks the disease right
out!
Andy beams. George stares sadly.
GEORGE
The Philippines? I dunno... Andy...
he sounds like one of your
characters.
TIGHT - ANDY
His voice gets hushed.
ANDY
No... this guy's special.
(very sincere)
He performs miracles.
George doesn't know how to respond.
Andy looks up pleadingly.
ANDY (cont'd)
He's my last chance.
CUT TO:
EXT. BAGUIO CITY, PHILIPPINES - DAY
Baguio, a tiny scratched-in-the-dirt Philippine city.
Suddenly, a rattletrap COMMUTER PLANE lurches out of the
sky. It hits a dirt runway. Dust flies. Chickens squawk
and run.
INT. BEAT UP TAXI, PHILIPPINES - DAY
Andy, Lynne, and Zmuda ride through the impoverished city.
Andy stares in amazement.
EXT. CLINIC, PHILIPPINES - DAY
They reach a brick building. A sign says "CLINIC," with an
eye over a triangle.
INT. CLINIC, PHILIPPINES - DAY
A NURSE hurriedly helps weakened Andy sign a bunch of forms.
Money is handed over.
Andy's clothes are stripped off. They're thrown in a
locker.
INT. CLINIC OPERATION ROOM, PHILIPPINES - DAY
A large white tiled room. Lynne and Zmuda roll in pallid
Andy, his limp body unmoving.
Andy looks up... and there's a LONG LINE OF SICKLY PEOPLE.
Primarily Japanese, emaciated, all stripped to their
underwear and barely able to stand.
They have a look of desperation and reverence.
At the head of the line is JUN ROXAS at his work station: A
bench, a sink, and ATTENDANTS with clean towels.
A SICKLY WOMAN crawls onto the bench. Jun impassively
presses his hand into the fatty flesh of her stomach,
kneading, searching. Pause, then he removes some BLOODY
GUTS.
He flings them into a bucket.
The woman cries out.
Andy gasps.
The woman is helped away.
Jun turns to wash his hands. An attendant gives him a towel
to dry with. Then a SICKLY MAN crawls up...
Andy rolls closer. He stares at all this with fear.
Nervousness. Hope.
Jun impassively presses his hand against the man's head. He
concentrates, searching... then pulls out some BLOODY GUTS.
He flings them into a bucket.
The man shakes. He is helped away.
Andy is wide-eyed. He gets closer... closer...
More patients. More bloody guts. More sobbing.
Andy's excitement builds.
Then -- he reaches the front.
A moment.
Lynne and Zmuda stare into Andy's eyes, drawn in by his
total belief. They are overcome. It feels like they're
saying goodbye. Lynne gives Andy a tender kiss. Zmuda
starts to shake his hand -- and instead hugs him tightly.
Andy smiles, then the attendants lift him from the
wheelchair. They help him up to the bench.
Andy lies down. Fluorescent lights buzz overhead.
He looks over, and Jun Roxas is washing his hands from the
previous patient.
Andy shivers, anticipating the miracle.
Jun turns. An attendant gives him a towel to dry off.
Andy relaxes, readying for it all...
He glances at Jun's hands. Jun hands back the towel -- and
under it the attendant quickly slips Jun a sack of animal
intestines.
Jun discreetly palms it. He's a fake.
CLOSEUP - ANDY
A moment of stunned disbelief.
He is shocked. Outraged. Disappointed. Flabbergasted.
The faith is meaningless. The joke is cosmic. The con man
has been conned.
Andy's overpowering emotions coalesce... and he starts to
LAUGH.
It's sidesplittingly funny. Andy LAUGHS, and LAUGHS, and
LAUGHS, like a crazy man with no salvation, the joy
releasing him, the tears rolling down his cheeks.
His face flushes with color. Life sparkles in his eyes.
Andy laughs and guffaws until he's hoarse. This is the best
gag of them all.
SLOW DISSOLVE TO:
INT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY
Andy lies in peace in a casket. He has died.
His expression is pleasantly bland. Almost Latka-like. But
his face is caked with so much funeral-home makeup, it
almost looks like a mask.
We slowly widen. The casket is surrounded by beautiful
flowers. We TILT UP... and high above... is a MOVIE SCREEN.
On the SCREEN is a projection of Andy, silently staring at
us. There's a gentle smile on his face. It's the image
from the opening of this film.
ANDY'S POV: The chapel is filled with GRIEVING MOURNERS.
All are in black. Everyone's quiet, in a state of shock.
Andy's family is huddled.
Lynne sits alone in a pew, crying.
George gives Zmuda a hug. Little Wendy comes over... and
they comfort each other.
Everyone who ever knew Andy is there: Taxi cast, Fridays
cast, TM followers, hookers, Jerry Lawler, Ed Weinberger,
Maynard Smith, Budd Friedman, it goes on and on...
And -- they all have odd discombobulated expressions. They
stare up at the PROJECTED ANDY.
ANDY (ON FILM)
Well... My show is over. I did my
best, and I just want to say, until
we meet again... please remember:
(he begins to SING)
"In this friendly, friendly world...
With each day so full of joy.
Why should any heart be lonely."
Some gathered people tentatively join in the SINGING.
ANDY (ON FILM) (cont'd)
So everybody! Put your arm around
the person next to you, even if you
don't like that person. Come on!
(he resumes SINGING)
"The world is such a wonderful
place,
To wander through,
When you've got someone to love,
To wander along with you.
With the sky so full of stars,
And the river so full of songs,
Every heart should be so thankful,
Thankful for this friendly, friendly
world..."
The curtain behind the coffin OPENS and the casket with
Andy's body slowly slides into the DARKNESS.
The curtain closes. The FILM ENDS.
And all goes silent.
Some people cry. Some begin to leave. Most of them are
just staying, numbed.
George and Zmuda whisper.
GEORGE
It's a perfect Kaufman audience.
ZMUDA
Yeah. They don't know whether to be
sad, or angry.
The Taxi cast are flustered.
CAROL KANE
Why are people leaving? The
curtain's gonna open. Andy's gonna
come out... I know it!
TONY DANZA
Sure, the body was just made of
wax...!
(a very long beat)
Wasn't it......?
Silence. They look to the front.
The closed curtain wafts... then settles motionless.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNSET BLVD./COMEDY STORE - NIGHT
A SUPER slowly appears: "EXACTLY ONE YEAR LATER"
On Sunset, TWO DUDES come riding along on skateboards.
Suddenly they reach -- INSANITY. Traffic on Sunset is
jammed. HONKING limousines jockey to squeeze by.
Confused, one Dude squints into the distance -- and his eyes
pop.
DUDE #2
Oh my GOD.
(stupefied)
That's the freakiest thing I've ever
seen!! Look!
He points. His friend turns -- and gasps.
AT THE COMEDY STORE - The marquee says "TONY CLIFTON: LIVE!"
DUDE #1
Man, we were right! He's not dead!
DUDE #2
He's just been lyin' low for a year!
WE GOTTA GO!
Hysterical, the guys race up to the club. But outside,
there's a CRAZED, PULSING MOB. People are screaming.
Police have barricades. Everybody cries to get in.
INT. COMEDY STORE - SAME TIME
It's packed. Every square inch is filled with glittery
Hollywood VIPs. People make chit-chat... but there is a
squeamish excitement in the air. A brooding unease. Nobody
knows what to expect.
Suddenly -- the lights go black. A BOOMING ANNOUNCER.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Ladies and Gentlemen! Please put
your hands together for... Tony
Clifton!
The THEME FROM 2001 starts playing. "DAAAAA, DAAAAA,
DAAAAA! DA-DAAAAA"!
A small SPOT appears -- on a peach tuxedo. The light grows
bigger, bigger... the tension magnifying... people
gasping... our view widening... until Tony Clifton is
revealed onstage!
It's an extraordinary theatrical moment -- without response.
The crowd has no idea what to do.
Tony smirks.
TONY CLIFTON
How ya doin'?
Dead silence.
Tony struts downstage. He waves to the crowd.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
How you doin' back there?!
(to the front rows)
How you doin' up here?!
Still no response. Until -- a lone reckless VOICE.
VOICE
Andy!
Whoa. The crowd rustles nervously.
Tony grimaces.
TONY CLIFTON
Don't know nothin' about no Andy.
Just some dead guy tryin' to ride my
coattails.
(to the BAND)
Let's HIT IT, boys! One, two, anda
one two three four!
The BAND kicks in with disco anthem "I WILL SURVIVE." Tony
starts SINGING the schmaltzy opening:
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
"First I was afraid
I was petrified.
Kept thinkin' I could never live
Without you at my side."
(he wipes away a
pretend tear)
"Were you the one that tried to
Hurt me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and
Die...?"
We PAN the room full of enthralled spectators. At a front
table are George and Lynne.
Tony attacks the chorus.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
"Oh no not I!
I WILL SURVIVE!
As long as I know how to love,
I know I'll simply stay alive!"
In the crowd, we pass face after face -- smiling...
frowning... intrigued... confused... until we settle on a
man in the very last row.
Bob Zmuda.
Enjoying the show more than anyone.
TONY CLIFTON (cont'd)
"I've got all my life to live
I've got all my life to give.
I will survive..."
(he hits his big
finish)
"I -- WILL -- SURVIVE!!!"
The music CRESCENDOS, and the song ENDS.
Zmuda grins and APPLAUDS proudly.
FADE OUT.
THE END
TWILIGHT: NEW MOON
Written By
Melissa Rosenberg
Adapted from the Novel by
Stephenie Meyer
Dec. 21, 2008
CREDITS OVER:
A FULL MOON FILLS THE FRAME -- Luminous, tinged with gold.
Slowly, a penumbral shadow begins to spread across the
moon's surface, darkening it from left to right...
BELLA (V.O.)
"These violent delights have violent
ends..."
... until the moon is enveloped in shadow; a new moon...
which disappears into the darkness.
OVER BLACK - A RUFFLED TULIP appears, isolated against the
blackness.
BELLA (V.O.)
"... And in their triumph die, like
fire and powder..."
HOLD ON the tulip as the background FADES UP around it to
reveal we're now in --
EXT. FOREST - ECU ON THE TULIP - DAY
It's surrounded by the dark, lush, greenery of the forest
floor.
BELLA (V.O.)
"... Which, as they kiss, consume..."
SUDDENLY A FOOT SLAMS DOWN next to the tulip, nearly
crushing it. As the foot immediately lifts off again, it
grazes the tulip, knocking its petals off --
ON THE RUNNING PAIR OF FEET
They abruptly change direction. Race on. INCLUDE BELLA
SWAN, desperately searching the woods -- SHORT, SURREAL CUTS
of her frenetic quest --
BELLA
Edward!
Ahead, through the darkness of the thick forest, she SEES
SUNLIGHT; a clearing. She hurtles toward it --
EXT. MEADOW - DAY
BELLA
Edward!
2.
-- as Bella bursts into the sunlight. It's the meadow where
Edward revealed his skin in the sun. But he's not here now.
Instead, Bella SEES --
ACROSS THE MEADOW -- AN OLD WOMAN, white hair framing her
withered face. Bella's eyes widen with surprise as she
recognizes --
BELLA
... Gran?
GRAN looks as surprised as Bella. Bella smiles and waves,
as does Gran. Bella starts toward her but --
EDWARD (O.S.)
Bella...
She spins to the voice behind her to SEE --
EDWARD emerge from the forest, his alabaster skin in sharp
contrast to the shadows. She beams at him, relieved, in
love... until he moves to edge of the shade, inches from
sun's rays --
BELLA
Stop - she'll see!
But Edward just smiles and steps into the sunlight.
Sunbeams SHATTER off his skin like a thousand rainbow
shards, as if he were made of diamonds. An awesome sight.
JUMP CUT TO: Edward now inches from Bella, still glistening,
entrancing her. She wraps an arm around his waist, then
arranges her face into a calm expression. They turn to --
Gran, whose expression is calm, too. Gran's arm is
extended, as if she also holds someone.
JUMP CUT TO: Bella and Edward, only feet from Gran now.
Bella's about to present Edward, but then SEES that --
Gran mimics Bella's movement exactly. With growing horror,
Bella reaches out to Gran... and touches glass!
PULL BACK TO FIND Gran is now surrounded by a GILDED FRAME.
It's a MIRROR, mounted on a wall with wallpaper reflecting a
surreal dreamlike version of the forest behind Bella.
BELLA
Oh my God.
-- as she realizes that's not Gran; it's Bella, sixty-five
years older.
3.
Bella spins to her perfect, eternally 17-year-old Edward.
He takes her now WRINKLED, age-spotted hand. Kisses it.
Then he leans in very close to her 83-YEAR-OLD FACE and
whispers into her ear --
EDWARD
Happy birthday.
SMASH TO:
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - MORNING
ON BELLA - her eyes snap open. She lies atop her bed. A
book, "ROMEO AND JULIET," lays open on her chest. Bella
sits up, the dream still weighing on her...
INCLUDE HER ROOM, cluttered with pictures of Edward, of the
Cullens; memorabilia of all things Edward. A KNOCK on the
door. CHIEF CHARLIE SWAN enters carrying two gifts, one
wrapped, one not.
CHARLIE
Happy birthday, Bells.
BELLA
Dad, we agreed, no gifts.
CHARLIE
At least mine's not wrapped.
He hands it to her. It's a digital camera. Bella's
pleased, despite herself.
BELLA
Okay, this is actually kind of great.
Thanks, Dad.
CHARLIE
(re: wrapped gift)
Goes with this one from your mom. We
coordinated - well, she coordinated
me.
Bella opens the wrapped gift to reveal a SCRAPBOOK.
CHARLIE
To put your pictures in, record your
senior year -- man, senior year.
How'd you get so old so fast?
BELLA
Not that old.
4.
CHARLIE
I don't know. Is that a wrinkle?
Bella races to the mirror, searches her face.
CHARLIE
I was kidding.
BELLA
So not funny, Dad.
EXT. FORKS HIGHWAY - DAY
An AERIAL VIEW of this lush, green, overcast landscape; the
rainy world that is Forks. FIND Bella's old truck as it
lumbers down the two-lane highway...
BELLA (V.O.)
It was just a dream... but also my
worst nightmare.
EXT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - DAY
Bella climbs out of her truck, shouldering her book bag.
She looks around the parking lot, seeking Edward --
MIKE (O.S.)
Wherefore art thou, Bella?
She turns as MIKE, ERIC, ANGELA and JESSICA approach.
MIKE
You finish the Shakespeare assignment?
JESSICA
He means will you finish his
assignment?
MIKE
No, I don't -- okay I do.
BELLA
I can help you with it -- but first --
(pulling out her camera)
I need a picture. My mom's expecting
a scrapbook full of memories.
ANGELA
(holds up her own camera)
I take `em, I don't pose for `em.
BELLA
You do today.
5.
She pushes Angela to the others; they arrange themselves --
JESSICA
You'll photoshop my nose if it looks
big, right?
ERIC
Don't worry, I'm in the picture; no
one will be looking at you guys.
Jessica scoffs, Angela points her camera at Bella; Mike and
Eric joust -- Bella aims --
FULL FRAME - THE CAMERA'S DIGITAL SCREEN
It FREEZES on them, fun, delightfully carefree... but when
the camera lowers, their playfulness has dissipated as they
see someone behind Bella. She turns to see --
EDWARD climbing out of his silver Volvo.
MIKE
(dry)
Oh good. Cullen's here.
JESSICA
(drier)
Yay.
The friends, uncomfortable, move off --
ERIC
Check ya later.
-- But Bella doesn't register their tone. She's transfixed
by Edward who approaches, eyes never leaving hers. He
reaches her, washing away all her concerns --
EDWARD
Happy birthday.
-- except that one. Her face falls.
BELLA
Don't remind me.
EDWARD
Your birth is definitely a day to
celebrate.
BELLA
Not for me.
6.
EDWARD
Eighteen is a little early to be
worrying about your age.
BELLA
It's one year older than you.
EDWARD
Bella, I'm ninety.
BELLA
True. Maybe I should be creeped out
that I'm dating such an old guy.
EDWARD
(smiles, amused)
Yes, it's the age that's creepy, not
the fact that you're dating a vampire.
Then he kisses her, tenderly, adoringly. She kisses him
back... despite their restraint, the passion mounts... until
he pulls away. As always, both are left wanting more.
Edward nods toward the school building --
EDWARD
Class.
BELLA
Right. Class.
Catching their breath, they start toward school... but
Edward stops, hearing something in his mind. Irritated.
EDWARD
Someone wants you.
JACOB (O.S.)
Bella!
JACOB BLACK, 16, jogs up, carrying a used car part, long,
black ponytail wagging. He looks 18 due to his tall,
muscular body, but the gregarious Jacob is a little klutzy,
still catching up to his growth spurt. He nods to Edward,
who moves off to the side but eyes them.
BELLA
God, Jacob, what are they feeding you
on that rez, steroids? You're huge.
JACOB
Wouldn't seem so drastic if you came
around more.
7.
BELLA
I will, soon. But isn't your school,
like, ten miles that way?
JACOB
(re: car part)
Just here buying this for the Rabbit.
I'm almost done with the rebuild.
Gotta come take a ride when it's done.
(as if remembering)
Oh, and hey, happy birthday. Your dad
told my dad. So...
He pulls from his coat a small woven DREAMCATCHER, feathers
dangling from it. He hands it to her.
JACOB
I saw it the other day and thought of
you - it catches bad dreams.
BELLA
This, I need. It's great.
EDWARD
The bell's about to ring.
The bell RINGS. Jacob gives Edward an amiable smile, with
just a hint of snark.
JACOB
Ooh, look at you, all psychic.
EDWARD
I don't have that particular gift.
But I can read a watch. I'm clever
that way.
They share a tight smile. Bella intercedes, squeezing
Jacob's arm.
BELLA
Bye, Jake, and thank you.
Edward guides her away. As they walk off --
EDWARD
How come Jacob Black gets to give you
a gift and I don't?
BELLA
He's just a friend.
8.
EDWARD
"Friends" don't spend two weeks
looking for the perfect dreamcatcher.
BELLA
Stop reading his mind if he bothers
you so much.
EDWARD
Little hard to tune out.
She just laughs, but Edward looks back at Jacob with
resentment. Jacob holds his gaze.
INT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY
Edward and Bella enter the double doors -- suddenly a small,
wrapped gift appears in Bella's face. ALICE presents it.
ALICE
Happy --
BELLA
Shh!
-- Alice whispers in her ear as she hugs Bella --
ALICE
-- birthday.
Over Alice's shoulder, Bella sees JASPER, keeping his
distance. He offers her a pleasant nod. She tries to hide
Alice's present, hoping no one noticed --
BELLA
Alice, didn't I say no gifts?
ALICE
You did. I didn't. I've already seen
you open it and guess what? You love
it.
BELLA
You had a vision about my birthday.
ALICE
And about the green dress you'll be
wearing to your party tonight. Great
color on you.
BELLA
... My party?
9.
ALICE
Please? It'll be fun.
BELLA
(beat, confused)
I... guess I can deal --
ALICE
(hurriedly)
-- Great! See ya at seven!
Alice hugs her again and races off before she can change her
mind. Which is when Bella realizes --
BELLA
Wait, Jasper, no fair with the mood
control.
He offers an apologetic bow before Alice drags him away.
EDWARD
Vampires. You can't trust them.
CUT TO:
CLOSE ON A T.V. MONITOR - Zeffirelli's `68 "Romeo and
Juliet" plays. The suicide scene.
ROMEO
Arms, take your last embrace, and
lips, O you, the doors of breath, seal
with a righteous kiss...
PULL BACK TO INCLUDE --
INT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL - ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
The room is dark as we PAN OVER the class, some students
entertained, some moved, Mike trying not to fall asleep.
The teacher, MR. BERTY, mouths every word --
ROMEO
Here's to my love!
(drinks)
O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick.
FIND Edward and Bella in the back of the room, desks pushed
together, whisper-talking.
BELLA
I hate being... celebrated.
10.
EDWARD
Come on, the last real birthday any of
us had was Emmett's - I think Bing
Crosby was on top of the charts.
(then)
You'll be helping us feel normal for a
night.
Bella sits back, knowing she's trapped. He kisses her hand.
EDWARD
There are worse tragedies than a
birthday. Look at Romeo. He's
responsible for his wife's death. Who
could live with that?
(looks at the screen)
... Though I do envy him one thing.
BELLA
(blanches slightly)
Juliet's alright... if you like that
obviously beautiful sort of thing.
EDWARD
Not the girl - the suicide.
(off her look)
Nearly impossible for my kind. But
humans, a little poison, dagger to the
heart. There are so many options.
BELLA
(appalled)
Why would you even think about that?
He turns her wrist over, runs his hand over the horseshoe
shaped SCAR on her forearm.
EDWARD
(shrugs)
I considered it. Once. When James
had you trapped.
FLASHPOP TO "Twilight" - In the ballet studio, JAMES grabs
Bella's arm and BITES --
BACK ON EDWARD - pained.
EDWARD
I didn't know if I'd find you in time.
If I'd gotten you killed --
BELLA
It wouldn't have been your fault --
11.
EDWARD
Either way, I had a plan.
BELLA
What plan?
EDWARD
There are... ways for us. At least
one way. I would have gone to Italy,
provoked the Volturi...
BELLA
The who?
MR. BERTY
Is there something you'd like to share
with the class, Edward?
EDWARD
(politely)
Certainly not. But I apologize for
being a distraction. Perhaps you
should rewind to act five, scene one,
line twenty-eight eighty-nine --
(reciting)
"If you had the strength of twenty men
it would dispatch you straight."
Mr. Berty just looks at him, then moves off, intimidated --
MR. BERTY
Eyes on the screen, people.
Bella is too concerned to be amused.
EXT. CULLEN HOUSE - NIGHT
Lights glow from inside the beautiful house.
EDWARD (O.S.)
The Volturi are a very old, very
powerful family...
INT. CULLEN HOUSE - CARLISLE'S ROOM - NIGHT
ON AN 18TH CENTURY OIL PAINTING, depicting Grecian figures in
swirling robes writhing among pillars and balconies. In a
high balcony, FOUR CALM FIGURES look down upon the bacchanal;
two black haired, one snowy white, one golden haired...
EDWARD (O.S.)
The closest thing my world has to
royalty...
12.
INCLUDE -- Edward and Bella (now wearing a green dress).
She studies the painting - the largest on a wall crowded
with pictures. The other walls are towering bookshelves.
EDWARD
Francesco Solimena painted this; he
often depicted the Volturi as Gods.
Bella examines the golden haired "God."
BELLA
Is that... Carlisle?
EDWARD
Yes. He lived with them for a few
decades. He describes them as very
refined - for killers.
PUSH IN ON THE PAINTING, THE FOURSOME
Their features begin to fill in, become real - THEY COME TO
LIFE in the painting, turning to leave the balcony through
an archway. We FOLLOW THEM into --
INT. A CIRCULAR WHITE MARBLE HALL - DAY
It's centuries old, its marble cracked and weathered. The
open oculus in the domed ceiling is the only source of
light. The room is empty but for three large wooden chairs
and half a dozen VAMPIRES in elegant 18th century attire.
EDWARD (V.O.)
The Volturi are also what you might
call enforcers.
BELLA (V.O.)
Of what?
EDWARD (V.O.)
The only rule they have: to keep
secret the existence of our kind.
Two of the Volturi, MARCUS and CAIUS, take their seats,
Carlisle stands beside them. ARO moves to the center of the
room where we REVEAL --
A ROGUE VAMPIRE is on his knees. He looks feral compared to
the others, and terrified. Aro puts his hands on either
side of the Rogue's face. Compassion?
13.
EDWARD (V.O.)
We don't make spectacles of ourselves,
or kill conspicuously, unless we want
to die.
Aro then slowly, dispassionately, RIPS THE ROGUE'S HEAD OFF.
Two Volturi Guards (FELIX and DEMETRI) appear on either
side, holding him down as Aro easily detaches the head and
tosses it aside. Aro calmly sits as the others tear the
Rogue limb from limb. Carlisle has to look away...
INT. CULLEN HOUSE - CARLISLE'S ROOM - NIGHT
-- as Bella spins on Edward --
BELLA
Don't even -- talk about that. You
can't let anyone hurt you. The
Volturi or anyone else.
EDWARD
(sees she's worried)
Who else would hurt me?
BELLA
You said there were more dangerous
things out there than you. And I know
you have at least one enemy --
OFF BELLA'S FACE - FLASHPOPS:
-- ON ALL THREE EVIL VAMPIRES, James, VICTORIA, the dread-
locked LAURENT (from "Twilight")
-- CLOSE ON VICTORIA - fire-red hair, burgundy red eyes,
feral, vicious grin (from "Twilight")
BELLA (O.S.)
You said she'd come after you for
killing her mate.
BACK ON BELLA AND EDWARD
EDWARD
Victoria? Yes, some day. But Alice
will see her coming. And she won't win.
Bella looks up at him, pained.
BELLA
I hate that I can't protect you.
He laughs, amused. She's decidedly not.
14.
BELLA
That was me being serious.
EDWARD
(kissing her face)
I know. But you do protect me...
(kisses her nose)
From boredom...
(kisses her lips)
And loneliness...
(in between kisses)
You give me a reason to stay... un-
dead. But it's... my job; to protect
you...
-- but he stops, smiles, hearing something in his mind --
EDWARD
... from everyone but my sister.
-- as the door bursts open and Alice dances in.
ALICE
It's time it's time it's time!
INT. CULLEN HOUSE - SECOND FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT
Alice tugs Bella and Edward to the top of the landing, then
skips down the stairs. They look down into --
THE LIVING ROOM - Hundreds of pink candles and rose-filled
crystal bowls. ROSALIE, ESME, EMMETT, Carlisle, Jasper and
Alice look up at her, all of them stunningly beautiful.
Bella would love to disappear, but Edward leads her down to --
THE LIVING ROOM -- where Esme and Carlisle hug Bella warmly.
CARLISLE
Sorry about all this. We tried to
rein Alice in.
ESME
Like that's even possible. Happy
birthday, Bella.
FLASH! Alice has snapped a picture of Bella with them.
ALICE
(re: camera)
Found it in your bag. Mind?
Emmett moves to Edward's side. Nudges him.
15.
EMMETT
Dating an older woman. Hot.
Bella caught that. Edward elbows him sharply to shut up.
EMMETT
What?
Rosalie steps up. Shoves a silver package at Bella.
ROSALIE
It's a necklace. Alice picked it out.
She walks away, bored. Bella has to smile. She sees Jasper
across the room. They wave to each other.
ALICE
(aims the camera)
Show me the love!
Edward pulls Bella into an embrace, they look deeply into
one another's eyes. FLASH!
ALICE
For your scrapbook. Now open your
presents!
Alice drags Bella over to a table piled with elaborately
wrapped gifts, a huge cake and a tall stack of china plates.
BELLA
Alice, I'm the only one who even eats
cake. That thing could feed fifty.
ALICE
Hope you're hungry. Here, this one's
from Emmett.
The others crowd around... Jasper somewhat away. Bella, no
fan of being the center of attention, opens the gift to find
an empty car-radio box.
BELLA
Um... thanks?
EMMETT
Already installed it in your truck.
EDWARD
Finally, a decent sound system in that
piece of --
16.
BELLA
No hating on the truck. Thank you,
Emmett.
ALICE
Open mine.
Alice hands her a box. Bella starts to open it, but --
BELLA
Ouch - paper cut.
CLOSE ON BELLA'S FINGER - A single drop of deep red blood
appears.
Bella thinks little of it, but then HEARS a disturbing,
grisly SNARL -- she looks up just as --
BELLA'S POV - JASPER lunges toward her! Teeth bared, eyes
beyond reason --
-- Edward FLINGS Bella behind his own body, causing her to
CRASH into the table, plates shattering as --
-- Jasper SLAMS into Edward; sounds like boulders colliding.
-- Edward pushes him, hard; Jasper SAILS backward, hitting
the wall. But he RICOCHETS off it and comes back at Bella.
-- Emmett and Carlisle TACKLE Jasper from the side, dragging
him to the ground -- Alice helps hold him down --
ALICE
(soothingly)
Jaz... shhh --
... But she stops, her head suddenly jerking toward Bella.
Then everybody's eyes snap toward Bella as they catch the
overwhelming scent --
ON BELLA - lying amid the shards of broken china. She looks
at her arm, seeing now - it's been slashed by plate shards;
bright red blood pulses out of her, pooling. She looks up --
BELLA'S POV - THE CULLENS (SLOW MOTION)
All of them now, including Edward (but not Carlisle) stare
down at her, at her blood, with fevered eyes. Six suddenly
ravenous vampires...
SLOW MOTION ABRUPTLY ENDS as -- Carlisle jumps to Bella's
side. Edward, though white as a bone, snaps out of it and
stands between her and the others.
17.
CARLISLE
Emmett, get Jasper out of here.
(no response)
Emmett.
Emmett reins himself in, elbows Rosalie. They drag the
snarling Jasper out. Esme holds her nose, politely exits
with the others. Alice looks at Bella, apologetic --
ALICE
I'm sorry, I... can't...
She slips out the door. Edward's still on guard as Carlisle
examines Bella's arm.
CARLISLE
I'll have to stitch this up.
EDWARD
I'll carry her to the kitchen.
He moves to pick her up, but his eyes dart to the blood.
CARLISLE
I'll take care of her, Edward.
(Edward doesn't move)
Check on Jasper. Go.
Edward looks from him to Bella. Then steps back, allowing
Carlisle to lift Bella and carry her to the kitchen. But
just before the kitchen door closes, Bella sees Edward's
agonized face. He turns away, unable to meet her eyes...
INT. CULLEN HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Bella sits in a chair opposite Carlisle who mops up her
blood as he removes glass shards from her arm. He drops one
into a bowl; PLINK. She tries not to look at the blood.
BELLA
I sure can kill a party.
CARLISLE
It's not your fault. Jasper hasn't
been away from human blood as long as
the rest of us.
BELLA
Seems like you're the only one it
doesn't effect.
CARLISLE
Centuries of practice.
18.
BELLA
Did you ever think of... living
differently?
CARLISLE
I enjoy my work too much. Helping
people, saving lives. I'm hoping
there's a point to my existence, even
if I am damned.
BELLA
Damned? You're not damned.
CARLISLE
Then you and I agree. But Edward
doesn't believe there's an afterlife
for our kind.
(looking at her)
He thinks we've lost our souls.
BELLA
(realizing)
That's why he won't... He thinks he'd
be damning me.
CARLISLE (CONT'D)
If you believed as he did, would you
risk it?
Off Bella, no, not ever...
INT. BELLA'S TRUCK - NIGHT
A large red bow hangs from the new stereo in the dashboard.
Edward drives in silence. Bella studies him. Finally --
BELLA
Say something.
EDWARD
What do you want me to say?
BELLA
That I'm a klutz. That I should have
been more careful --
EDWARD
You got a paper cut. Normal people
get paper cuts. And a normal
boyfriend wouldn't have flung you into
a stack of plates. A normal boyfriend
wouldn't have had to fight the urge to
kill you --
19.
BELLA
Stop. I don't want normal, I want
you.
Edward doesn't respond, just pulls the truck into --
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE/INT. BELLA'S TRUCK (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
The truck stops. Beat.
BELLA
You can't protect me from everything -
something's going to separate us --
accident, illness, old age... as long
as I'm human...
EDWARD
(appalled)
That's your solution? My ending your
life?
BELLA
Your giving me forever.
He faces forward again, jaw tight, mind working, tormented.
She reaches for his hand --
BELLA
Carlisle told me how you feel, about
my soul, but I don't believe that --
-- he subtly moves his hand away from hers.
EDWARD
You should go in. It's late.
He climbs out - instantly he's opening the passenger side
door for her. She climbs out. He looks down at her face -
he softens as he takes it in. Puts a hand on her cheek.
BELLA
I'll leave my window open for you.
EDWARD
(quietly)
I won't be coming back. Not tonight.
BELLA
Then... can I ask for one thing? It's
still my birthday.
(off his nod)
Kiss me?
20.
He lifts her face to his, and kisses her. He begins
carefully, gently... but it changes, he becomes urgent, with
an almost painful edge, as if it were goodbye.
Abruptly, he pulls away. With a last look, he turns walks
off into the night. Off Bella...
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
ON A PHOTO - as a printer spits it out. It's the pic Alice
took of Bella and Edward's embrace. Bella, troubled, puts
it in her scrapbook, her bandaged finger running over it.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL - ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
"Romeo and Juliet" lessons are on the board. Everyone's
scribbling essays. Bella glances at Edward's desk; empty --
FLASHPOP TO -- (previous scene in truck) ECU ON EDWARD'S
EYES, hard, turning away from her...
INT. HIGH SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - DAY
Bella sits with Jessica, Angela, Eric and Mike. They joke,
throw things. Bella's distracted, looking-out for Edward.
FLASHPOP TO -- (scene in the truck) ECU ON EDWARD'S HAND
moving away from hers...
BACK ON BELLA'S WORRIED FACE, off which we go to --
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - DAY
PAN the photos on the wall. INCLUDE EDWARD who studies
them, his expression grim. He looks down at Bella's
SCRAPBOOK to SEE the photo of him and Bella. He pulls it
out, takes a closer look...
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE - DAY
ON BELLA THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD of her truck as she pulls
into the driveway. She climbs out, heads toward the house
but stops, relief washing over her --
BELLA
Edward. You're here.
He stands by the house. Bella hurries toward him, but slows
when she sees his cold, distant face; an unreadable mask.
EDWARD
Walk with me?
21.
Edward gently takes her hand. Dread fills her, but she lets
him guide her toward the woods...
EXT. WOODS - DAY
Edward stops by a fallen tree. Turns to Bella.
EDWARD
We need to leave Forks.
BELLA
What? Why?
EDWARD
It's time. Carlisle's supposed to be
ten years older than he looks; people
will start noticing.
BELLA
But... when?
EDWARD
Now.
Bella reels, trying to take this in. Finally --
BELLA
I'll have to think of something to
tell Charlie, but I can be ready --
EDWARD
Not you. Us.
BELLA
(stunned)
What? -- no -- Edward, what happened
with Jasper - that was nothing.
EDWARD
Nothing compared to what could happen.
You don't belong in my world.
BELLA
-- I belong with you --
EDWARD
-- You don't --
BELLA
-- I'm coming --
EDWARD
I don't want you to come!
22.
Bella is stung, as if slapped.
BELLA
You don't... want me.
EDWARD
No.
She steps back. Trying to understand this.
EDWARD
I'd like to ask one favor though.
BELLA
(looks up, hopeful)
Anything.
EDWARD
Don't do anything stupid or reckless --
do you understand?
(adding)
... for Charlie's sake. Just... take
care of yourself.
BELLA
I... yes... I will.
He softens ever-so-slightly.
EDWARD
Don't worry. You're human. Time
heals all wounds for your kind.
Particularly if you're not reminded.
Desperation wells up in her, overwhelming dignity.
BELLA
No, this is - don't do this. Please.
He sees she won't let go easily. Takes a breath. His face
turns cold again.
EDWARD
Try to understand. Every second with
you is about restraint. You're too
fragile. I'm tired of pretending to
be something I'm not. Reining myself
in so I can be with a human.
BELLA
Then take my soul. I don't care! I
don't want it without you --
23.
EDWARD
(sharply)
-- You're not good for me, Bella.
Bella looks at him. His hard face. His resolve.
EDWARD
I've let it go on too long. I'm
sorry.
Tears sting Bella's eyes. This can't be happening. He
steps forward... kisses her forehead. She closes her eyes.
EDWARD
I promise, it will be like I never
existed. Goodbye, Bella.
And here, for the first time, we SEE how truly agonizing
this really is for Edward. But Bella doesn't see.
By the time she opens her eyes - he's gone. She spins --
BELLA
-- Wait --
She SEES a LEAF FLITTERING to the ground where he grazed a
branch; the only indication of his direction. She hurries
down the path, then runs --
BELLA
Edward?!
-- and she keeps running, going deeper into the woods...
A SERIES OF QUICK, SURREAL SHOTS - TIME LAPSING
Bella runs through the woods, searching, reminiscent of her
opening dream. It gets darker and darker, until we're deep into
night -- HEAR Bella's sharp desperate BREATHS --
BELLA TRIPS. Falls to the damp forest floor. She looks up,
the trees spinning around her...
STAY ON BELLA - NIGHT - AS HOURS PASS
She remains on the ground. Curls into a ball. Darkness
shrouding her. Devastation paralyzing her.
ECU ON HER FACE - numb. HEAR the faint sound of her name
being called in the distance. A search party. She's too
wrecked to respond.
Rain begins to pour; she doesn't register it....
24.
SERIES OF SCENES END ON -- BELLA, lying there, dazed. She
begins to HEAR an animal SNUFFLING. It gets closer. It
sounds large. Scary. Then she hears a whisper --
EDWARD (O.S.)
Move, Bella.
She lifts her head, looks for Edward... but SEES something
else instead --
BELLA'S POV - A DARK SHAPE, huge, black. Nearing. Its EYES
reflect light for a split second; they're inhuman, savage.
Bella, terrified, manages to DRAG herself to a cluster of
trees. She squeezes between them. Breathing hard. She
closes her eyes, trying to disappear...
INT. WOODS - LATER NIGHT
Bella's eyes open to find herself FLOATING several feet
above the ground. Trees pass by. She's being carried...
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Half the town is gathered - a tired rescue party that
includes Mike Newton and Jacob Black.
Charlie, beside himself with worry, pores over a map with
BILLY BLACK (in wheelchair) and Quileute HARRY CLEARWATER,
46, (dark braids, stout, protruding belly, kind face).
CHARLIE
I'll call the Cullens again. Her note
said she and Edward went for a walk.
BILLY
They left town, Charlie.
HARRY CLEARWATER
Hospital said Doc Cullen got a big job
somewhere else.
Harry puts a reassuring hand on Charlie's shoulder.
HARRY CLEARWATER
We'll find her, Charlie.
Charlie is glad for the comfort of his two friends.
JACOB
Charlie!
Charlie spins to where Jacob points --
25.
THEIR POV - THE EDGE OF THE WOODS
SAM ULEY, 20, emerges, a tall, strong Quileute Indian with
cropped hair and a fierce expression. He's carrying Bella.
BILLY
It's Sam Uley. He found her.
Charlie bolts to her; he's never moved faster in his life.
He wraps his arms around Bella, lifting her from Sam's arms.
CHARLIE
Thank you, Sam. Thank God.
Charlie carries Bella to the house, cradling her. Harry and
Billy give Sam a nod of praise and gratitude. But Sam backs
away, avoiding any accolades.
ON JACOB - jogging alongside Charlie, peering at Bella with
worry. Then Jacob slows, feeling eyes on his back... he
turns to SEE Sam Uley staring at him. Jacob, uncomfortable,
quickly looks away.
ON CHARLIE CARRYING BELLA up the stairs to the house --
CHARLIE
What were you thinking, Baby? Why
were you out there?
BELLA
He's... gone.
Off her as Charlie carries her inside --
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
OVERHEAD SHOT OF THE BED - Charlie lays Bella down and wraps
her in blankets...
A SERIES OF DISSOLVES ON BELLA
She's curled in a fetal position in the middle of the bed.
Then at its foot. Under the blankets. On top of them. In
various different arrangements. Meanwhile...
A BLACK LIQUID begins to flood the floor, slowly swallowing
everything in the room. It rises up the sides of the bed,
higher and higher until it breaches the top of the bed and
begins to engulf Bella. Off her, submerged in blackness...
26.
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE - DAY - A MONTH LATER
The leaves have turned red and orange. SEE a FIGURE in the
upstairs window --
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - DAY
Bella sits in a rocking chair by the window. Her face
blank. Empty. STAY ON BELLA, unchanging - but THROUGH THE
WINDOW OUTSIDE, we SEE TIME LAPSING behind her --
OCTOBER -- Costumed kids appear in the yard, trick-or-
treating. DISSOLVE INTO...
NOVEMBER -- NEIGHBORS (BOB MARKS and his WIFE) bring Charlie
a turkey... they glance up at Bella's window with concern...
WINTER BEGINS -- the trees' branches are now bare...
DECEMBER -- Charlie drags a Christmas tree toward the house...
worry has taken its toll on him. But Bella remains
unchanged...
BELLA (V.O.)
Dear Mom... I'm...
(beat)
... lost...
PAN the now blank walls of the exceedingly neat room; gone
are all traces of Edward...
BELLA (V.O.)
Edward took everything with him.
Including my life. He promised it
would be like he never existed...
... LAND ON the scrapbook which lies open; the photo of
Bella and Edward's embrace at the birthday party - gone.
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - ANOTHER DAY
BELLA AT HER COMPUTER, typing an e-mail to Renee.
BELLA (V.O.)
... But I need to know he did.
A SERIES OF TABLEAUS, DISSOLVING INTO ONE ANOTHER:
-- INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Bella sits on the couch, blank, as the rain pounds. Charlie
watches her, concerned.
27.
BELLA (V.O.)
It's like a huge hole has been punched
through my chest...
-- INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
In the darkness, Bella is curled up in a ball on her floor.
BELLA (V.O.)
But the pain is my only reminder that
he was real... that they all were...
-- INT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - DAY
Lunch. Bella sits alone, staring straight ahead. SEE
Jessica, Eric, Angela and Mike, watching her with concern.
Talking about her. She doesn't notice.
BELLA (V.O.)
I miss them. Especially Alice...
EXT. TANYA'S ALASKAN HOME - DAY
A one-story contemporary home, surrounded by snowy, barren
land and woods. Through a LARGE PICTURE WINDOW we SEE Alice
and Carlisle, arguing inside --
BELLA (V.O.)
But I'm sure it's better for them, not
having me around...
INT. TANYA'S ALASKAN HOME (CONTINOUS) - DAY
Alice faces off with Carlisle as the others watch on. Esme
desolate; Emmett blank. He sits next to Rosalie who seems
almost irritated. Jasper isolates himself in a corner.
CARLISLE
No. We promised Edward.
ALICE
But she won't do well without us. I get
flashes of her, but they're unclear --
ROSALIE
Forget her, let's drag Edward home.
ESME
He'll come back when he's ready.
After Bella moves on.
28.
CARLISLE
Yes. When she's living her life, safe
from danger --
JASPER
(with self-contempt)
You mean safe from us.
Alice wraps an arm around Jasper, soothingly.
ROSALIE
(pointedly to Alice)
And when will that be?
EMMETT
Can you see him, Alice?
They all turn to Alice... a beat. She closes her eyes,
trying to get a lock on Edward -- PUSH IN ON ALICE as --
ALICE
The only decision he's made...
SMASH TO:
EXT. SOUTH AMERICA - ANDES (ALICE'S VISION) - DAY
(Visuals are jumpy, unclear) START HIGH ON A MOUNTAINTOP in
the middle of nowhere. SWOOP DOWN to its peak on which we
find EDWARD. Standing still, face agonized.
ALICE (O.S.)
... is to be alone...
-- and suddenly, he starts running, like he's trying to
outrun his memories, faster and faster -- he races toward a
CLIFF; a RAVINE hundreds of feet below --
Edward doesn't slow, just blasts forward faster; then he
LEAPS off the cliff, FLOATING, but the pain stays with him --
ON EDWARD'S FEET landing hard on the other side of the
ravine - as they hit ground we --
SMASH BACK TO:
CLOSE ON BELLA'S FINGERS
-- as they hit computer keys --
BELLA (V.O.)
Time passes. Every tick that goes
by... aches...
29.
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
INCLUDE BELLA'S COMPUTER SCREEN, as she types...
BELLA (V.O.)
Like the pulse of blood behind a bruise...
Bella stops. A beat as she stares at her own words. Then
she hits "select all" and "delete" --
ON THE COMPUTER - A BLANK DOCUMENT. She types: "Hi Mom,
things are great, grades are up. Hanging with friends.
Stop worrying. I'm fine."
Bella presses "send", and the cheery e-mail disappears.
Bella rises, returns to her rocking chair, staring out
desolately. PUSH PAST HER OUTSIDE...
AN UNKNOWN POV FROM THE WOODS - ON BELLA IN THE WINDOW
-- Someone's watching her, pacing menacingly, hungrily...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE - DAY
Bella exits to find Charlie out by the street, stuffing
trash into the bins. He talks with neighbor, Bob Marks, who
also attends to his trash: two old, beat up motorcycles.
CHARLIE
It's about time you got rid of those,
Bob. Seen one too many bikers smeared
on the highway.
BOB
Save the lecture, Chief. Soon as the
garbage truck hauls `em off, you and
my wife can rest easy.
(starts off, but stops)
Oh, hey, what's the word on that bear
problem? Folks are saying they're
huge.
CHARLIE
(distracted)
That's just... talk...
-- as Charlie watches Bella walk to her truck, head down.
Bob sees her, too --
BOB
How you doin' there, Bella?
30.
Bella, in her own world, doesn't respond. Bob gives Charlie
an understanding shrug and heads off.
ON BELLA as she opens her truck door. Suddenly, it gets
slammed shut again by Charlie.
CHARLIE
That's it.
BELLA
That's what?
CHARLIE
You're going to Jacksonville to live
with your mother.
BELLA
What? Why?
CHARLIE
I just - don't know what to do any
more. You don't act like someone left
you; more like someone died.
She looks away. That's how it feels to her.
BELLA
I'm not leaving Forks.
CHARLIE
Bells, the bastard's not coming back.
She nods. Knows this all too well.
CHARLIE
It's not normal, this behavior. And
frankly, it's scaring the hell outta
me, and your mother.
(gentler)
Go to Jacksonville, Baby. Make some
new friends.
BELLA
I like my old friends.
CHARLIE
You never even see them anymore.
BELLA
I do, too. In fact, I'm... um...
Jessica and I are going to Port
Angeles tomorrow. Shopping.
31.
CHARLIE
(suspicious)
You hate shopping.
BELLA
That's how good a friend I am.
CHARLIE
(somewhat appeased)
Alright. Shopping.
BELLA (PRE-LAP)
Hi Jessica, it's Bella...
INT. BELLA'S TRUCK - DAY
Bella drives, talking on her cell (hands-free, of course).
BELLA
... Yes, Bella Swan. Hey, any chance
you feel like shopping tomorrow?
EXT. PORT ANGELES - MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT
Bella and Jessica exit the theater. A MARQUEE behind them
bears the title of a ZOMBIE film.
BELLA
I don't get why are there so many
zombie movies.
JESSICA
It's, like, a metaphor? For crass
consumerism or something.
Bella glances at her.
JESSICA
Not that you'd know anything about
consuming. You didn't buy anything
today.
BELLA
I bought something.
JESSICA
Socks don't count. `Course, I was
surprised you even called.
BELLA
I've been kind of... out of it.
32.
JESSICA
Kind of? I mean, at first I was
worried. Then I'm like, okay, she's
still bumming? It's not like I wasn't
going through things, too. Like Mike
deciding he wanted to "just be friends?"
That was really hard and --
MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
How `bout a ride, girls?
As Bella looks ACROSS THE STREET, time suddenly SLOWS --
BELLA'S POV - A DIVE BAR, "ONE EYED PETE'S" (SLOW MOTION)
-- FOUR ROUGH-LOOKING GUYS loiter out front next to their
motorcycles. They're in shadow, we can't see their faces.
OFF BELLA WE SMASH TO --
FLASHPOPS: Bella surrounded by FOUR GUYS ("Twilight");
Edward's Volvo skidding to a stop; Edward staring them down --
BACK ON BELLA, a chill going down her spine, FREEZING her as
she stares at the foursome across the street...
Then suddenly -- a pair of lips lean next to her ear --
EDWARD (O.S.)
Move, Bella.
She turns to find Edward standing next to her. Or so it
seems. But he's an illusion; an apparition - which becomes
clear when --
Jessica steps right into him, dissolving him to nothingness, and
TIME ABRUPTLY SPEEDS UP AGAIN --
JESSICA
Come on.
BELLA
I know them... I think...
JESSICA
Can we just go --
Jessica pulls at her arm, but Bella shakes her off.
BELLA
I want to see something.
33.
Much to Jessica's frustration, Bella begins to cross the
street toward the Guys, frightened but drawn.
GUY #1
Alright, we got a taker.
The apparition of EDWARD REAPPEARS in her path this time.
She stops.
EDWARD
Turn around, Bella. This is
dangerous.
But when she steps backward, he fades. Testing her
hallucination, she strides forward again -- Edward's
apparition reappears, strides alongside her --
EDWARD
Stop. Now.
She's almost smiling as she reaches the Guys, finally able
to see them clearly -- and stops, realizing --
BELLA
... You're not them.
And with that.... Edward disappears.
GUY #1
We'll be whoever you want, honey.
Guy #2 pulls up right next to her on his motorcycle.
GUY #2
Ready for a thrill ride?
GUY #2 extends his hand to help her onto the bike. She
hesitates.
EDWARD (O.S.)
Walk away. Go.
Edward's apparition appears on the other side of the bike.
Bella looks at him with determination -- then climbs on to
the back of the bike --
BELLA
I can break promises, too.
GUY #2
(confused)
... Okay.
34.
JESSICA
Bella!
The bike LURCHES forward, going way too fast. As the wind
blasts her hair back, she realizes this might have been a
mistake --
BELLA
... Wait
Guy #2 doesn't hear her, guns the engine, going faster --
BELLA'S POV - DIRECTLY AHEAD
Edward stands in road, directly in their path, more present,
more clear than ever. The bike's headlight illuminates him,
racing toward him --
BELLA
Stop - stop! - STOP!
The bike abruptly pulls up short.
GUY #2
Hey, I didn't force nothing on you.
Bella scrambles off, stumbling in the process. Edward is
gone.
The four Guys then REV their bikes and PEEL out. Bella
watches them go as Jessica storms up.
JESSICA
What the hell is wrong with you?!
BELLA
(almost to herself)
I... saw something.
JESSICA
You. Are insane. Or suicidal.
BELLA
(trying to figure it out)
The more dangerous... the more real it
was.
JESSICA
So, what, you're like an adrenaline
junky now? Go hang-gliding or bungie-
jumping. Don't be a complete freak.
35.
An angry Jessica charges off. Bella watches the motorcycles
disappear down the street as --
BELLA (V.O.)
He wasn't real. I knew that. I
didn't care. I needed to see him. If
danger's what it took, that's what I'd
find.
Off Bella, determination settling into her face...
EXT. JACOB BLACK'S HOUSE - DAY
Bella pulls up in her truck, a tarp covering something big
in the back. Jacob comes out of the house. A huge grin.
JACOB
Bella!
Bella hops out, Jacob gives her a hug. Bella's surprised by
his affection, but doesn't mind.
JACOB
`Bout time you came by.
BELLA
I brought you something.
Bella pulls the tarp back, revealing - her neighbor's two
dilapidated, rusting MOTORCYCLES.
JACOB
Scrap metal. You shouldn't have.
BELLA
I rescued them from the dump. They'd
cost more than they're worth to fix...
unless one had a mechanic-type friend.
JACOB
Me, being the mechanic-type friend?
(off her shrug)
Since when are you into motorcycles?
BELLA
Recently.
JACOB
(studying the bikes)
The parts alone will be pricey.
BELLA
I have a college fund I can dig into.
36.
JACOB
Charlie's gonna love that.
BELLA
Charlie won't know.
JACOB
Wow. Lying to Dad. Blowing through
college money. Repairing dangerous
machines - that I'm guessing you'll
want to ride?
BELLA
I really get it if you think this is
stupid and reckless.
JACOB
Oh it's totally stupid and reckless.
(leans closer, grins)
When do we start?
Bella face spreads into something we haven't seen in a
while... a wide smile. As they pull the bikes off the
truck, they laugh and joke; it's as though Jacob has brought
Bella back to life. But --
UNKNOWN POV - ON BELLA AND JACOB FROM A DISTANCE
-- someone's watching as the two of them wheel the bikes
into the garage. REVERSE on the watcher to discover --
EXT. EDGE OF THE WOODS - SAM ULEY - SAME
Next to Sam stand two others, JARED, 17, and PAUL, 18. All
three have cropped hair, sleeveless shirts, cut-offs. It's
unsettling how they watch Bella and Jacob; the ferocity in
their eyes, the danger.
Sam turns; the others follow his lead. The three slink
soundlessly into the darkness of the woods...
SMASH TO:
EXT. FOREST - DAY
Two hikers, NATE and TIM, 20's, as they tromp through the
shadowy, mist-laden woods. Tim studies his IPhone GPS --
TIM
We're going the wrong way.
NATE
Who cares? Enjoy the scenery.
37.
TIM
(slapping a mosquito)
And the West Nile virus.
Tim hears a RUSTLE. Stops.
TIM
You hear that?
NATE
If I knew you were such a wuss, I'd
have brought my grandma.
TIM
Could be one of those giant bears.
NATE
There are no giant --
RUSTLE. Nate stops. Then, from the opposite direction,
another RUSTLE. Then another, and another, from behind,
from in front. It's either more than one creature or it's
moving with extraordinary speed. The guys are terrified.
TIM
What the hell is that?!
NATE
I don't know!
The guys, faced away from one another, search the trees.
STAY ON TIM as suddenly, there's an eerie SILENCE. Beat.
TIM
Think it's gone?
No answer. He turns to find that Nate has vanished.
TIM
Nate? Nate!?
Nothing... then the RUSTLING starts again. And intensifies.
Tim BOLTS! CLOSE ON TIM - tearing through the woods, too
scared to feel the branches SMACK him in the face. Breath
ragged, he looks over his shoulder --
TIM'S POV - BEHIND HIM - something gives chase, flattening
foliage and bending thin trees in its path. Tim runs harder --
TIM'S POV - UP AHEAD THROUGH THE TREES - THE HIGHWAY
A couple cars pass. Civilization. Safety. Tim races for it --
38.
EXT. HIGHWAY (CONTINUOUS)
Tim bursts from the tree-line, he's almost to the pavement,
he`s going to escape --
BAM! Something YANKS him out of frame at an unnatural
angle. His SCREAM is abruptly choked off, leaving nothing
but a disturbing silence...
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. JACOB'S GARAGE - ANOTHER DAY
Motorcycle parts are spread out on blankets. Jacob moves
among them excitedly, piecing them together. Bella watches.
BELLA
If we're going to be working on this
every day, we should probably include
some homework. Don't want the Dads to
think I'm a bad influence on you.
JACOB
You influence me? Please.
BELLA
I am older than you.
JACOB
Age ain't nothin' but a number.
BELLA
And I convinced you to secretly build
us two-wheeled death machines.
JACOB
(sudden mock-horror)
God, you're right, you're like Satan --
QUIL (O.S.)
Yo, Jake, you in there?
Bella abruptly sits up, starts to pull a tarp over the bikes.
JACOB
It's cool, it's just my boys.
QUIL ATEARA and EMBRY CALL enter, both 16. Quil is short,
stocky and feisty, with short hair. Embry is tall, thin and
laid back, with chin-length black hair.
EMBRY
Hey, Jake --
39.
They stop when they see Bella. The two guys share a smile.
JACOB
Hey. This is Bella. Bella, that's
Quil and Embry.
QUIL
So the bike building story is true.
BELLA
Taught him everything he knows.
QUIL
What about the part where you're his
girlfriend?
BELLA
Oh, we're just friends.
EMBRY
Ooh. Burn.
JACOB
(scrambling)
I said she's a girl and a friend.
QUIL
Embry, you remember him making that
distinction?
EMBRY
Nope.
Bella rescues Jacob --
BELLA
So I guess you guys have girlfriends.
JACOB
(laughs loudly)
Right. Quil took his cousin to prom.
Embry chuckles, as well.
QUIL
Yeah, that's still a riot. You want
funny, Black? I'll give you funny.
Quil makes a run at him, he dodges; a playful scuffle ensues.
Embry, amused, saunters over to Bella.
EMBRY
I got five bucks on Quil.
40.
BELLA
You're on.
The scuffle continues. Off Bella, enjoying them...
A SERIES OF SCENES...
INT. JACOB'S GARAGE - OVER THE COURSE OF SEVERAL DAYS
The bikes begin to take shape, the parts on the blanket thin
out.
BELLA (V.O.)
I never forgot my reason for doing
what I was doing...
Jacob clowns for Bella's amusement, pretends to skewer
himself with a pipe. She laughs.
BELLA (V.O.)
But being with Jacob was a bigger perk
than I expected...
He constantly touches her, playful, affectionate. It's
effortless in contrast to Edward's intense restraint. We
can see her spirits beginning to lift.
EXT. JACOB'S GARAGE - NIGHT
Bella and Jacob exit, make their way across the yard to her
truck. Bella seems lighter, happier than before.
JACOB
Quil keeps asking to come over. I
think he likes you a little too much.
BELLA
Tell him I'm not into the cougar
thing.
JACOB
What is it with you and age? I mean,
that Cullen guy was young, didn't seem
to... bother you.
He instantly regrets saying Edward's name as he sees it
crush her spirits. Off Bella, retreating into herself...
BELLA (V.O.)
Not even Jacob could keep away the
nightmares...
41.
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT (NIGHTMARE)
Bella TEARS through the forest, searching desperately. Then
she turns -- finds Edward a few yards away, his face cold.
She steps toward him -- but he BOLTS backward, suddenly
twenty yards away --
BELLA (V.O.)
... the terror, the loneliness.
-- he rapidly retreats further until he disappears, leaving
Bella utterly alone, darkness closing in on her...
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Bella SCREAMS in her sleep. The light turns on and Charlie
hurries to her side, gently shaking her awake.
CHARLIE
You're alright, Bells. You're okay.
Her eyes open, tears streaming down her cheeks. He doesn't
quite know what to do, so hands her a glass of water from
her bedside table. She sits up, sips. He pulls the
dreamcatcher from her bedpost.
CHARLIE
This thing's not working very well.
BELLA
It's... not as bad as it was.
CHARLIE
Yeah right.
(beat)
I know what it's like, you know. When
your mom left me. I had a hell of a
time. Imagined doing all kinds of
crazy things, just to stop the pain.
She avoids his look.
CHARLIE
But hanging out with Jacob seems to
help get your mind off... things.
BELLA
He's been keeping me afloat.
CHARLIE
That's good. He's a good guy.
Off Bella...
42.
INT. BELLA'S TRUCK - DAY
Bella drives along the La Push cliffs. Jacob rides shotgun.
He studies a grease-blackened motorcycle crankshaft.
JACOB
We got lucky at the dump. You know
how much a new crankshaft goes for?
BELLA
Sure, I spend all my free time on
crankshaft-dot-com.
JACOB
I think that's a porn site.
(then)
These bikes are gonna be rolling soon.
Where should we ride first?
BELLA
Someplace sunny.
JACOB
Like there's any place sunny around
here.
BELLA
I know a place above the cloud line --
The second she says it, she regrets it -- off her --
FLASHPOP TO - THE MEADOW, Bella lying in the grass with
Edward ("Twilight"), flowers surrounding them.
JACOB (O.S.)
Where is it?
BACK ON BELLA - her face falls.
BELLA
Actually, it's... too hard to get to.
He brings his easy smile and optimism to the rescue.
JACOB
So we'll find our sunny spot, right?
She smiles, grateful. Then she looks out the window at the
cliffs... and notices --
43.
BELLA'S POV - IN THE DISTANCE BY THE CLIFF
FOUR MEN stand on the rocky ledge of the cliff (Sam, Jared,
Paul, and a fourth). They wear nothing but cut-off shorts.
They push each other, rough-housing.
BELLA
Isn't that... Sam Uley?
JACOB
(bitter)
And his cult.
Suddenly, two of the guys throw a struggling Jared over the
cliff! BELLA SLAMS on the brakes. Jumps out of the truck --
Jacob climbs out after her --
BELLA
Oh my God! Stop them! --
EXT. LA PUSH CLIFFS (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
-- Bella runs toward them. But Jacob's laughter slows her.
JACOB
They're not really fighting, Bella.
They're cliff diving.
BELLA
What, on purpose?
JACOB
Scary as hell, but a total rush.
BELLA'S POV - A DIVER (Paul) takes a running start and
FLINGS himself into the air, twisting and cartwheeling down.
Bella is intrigued, sees the potential for adrenaline - for
Edward.
JACOB
Most of us jump from lower down.
BELLA
Think I could?
JACOB
Man, first motorcycles, now cliff diving?
BELLA
You said it was a rush.
44.
JACOB
Maybe on a warmer day. And not from
the top. We'll leave the showing off
to Sam and his disciples.
There's that bitter edge again. She looks at him.
BELLA
You don't like them.
JACOB
They think they run this place. Acting
all bad ass, calling themselves
"protectors."
BELLA
What are they protecting?
JACOB
The tribe, the land, their right to be
jerks. Embry used to call them hall
monitors on steroids; now look at him.
Bella looks closer, SEES the fourth guy is Embry, hair now
shorn, thin frame filled out, laid back expression gone. It
pains Jacob to see him.
BELLA
That's Embry? I didn't recognize him.
What happened to him?
JACOB
He missed some school - then, out of
nowhere, he's following Sam around.
Same thing happened with Paul and
Jared. They weren't even friends, now
Sam owns them.
(beat)
Sam keeps giving me this look, like
he's waiting for me or something; it's
kinda freaking me out.
BELLA
Maybe you should just avoid them.
JACOB
I try but...
She sees he's unnerved, instinctively hugs him reassuringly.
BELLA
Hey. If it gets worse, we'll go to my
Dad. Or you can come stay with us.
45.
JACOB
Thanks.
(beat, holding her)
If this is how you're going to react,
I'll freak out more often.
Bella realizes she crossed a line and covers, playfully
shoving him. As they head to the truck, Bella looks back --
BELLA'S POV - ON SAM
-- but now he's looking directly at her. Then he turns and
DIVES over the edge, cutting a clean line into the water.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - DAY
Bella carries her tray to an empty table, but looks over at
Mike, Angela, Jessica and Eric. Bella takes a breath, then
casually joins them. They take note, but keep talking.
JESSICA
I'll kill Tyler if he gave me his flu.
ANGELA
It's going around. My sister was so
sick she couldn't come on our hike
this weekend... so she didn't see it.
ERIC
(sotto)
Ang, maybe you should keep that to
yourself --
ANGELA
We saw something, Eric.
ERIC
I believe you.
JESSICA
No he doesn't. He's just trying to
get lucky.
ERIC
(suddenly hopeful)
Is that an option?
ANGELA
(ignoring him)
It was jet black and huge; on all
fours it was still taller than a
person. A bear maybe.
46.
JESSICA
Or Big Foot.
MIKE
Or an alien. Lucky you didn't get
probed.
ANGELA
(quietly)
... We saw it.
She's serious. And a little scared. Bella see that.
BELLA
You're not the only one.
Everyone stares. Did Bella just speak?
BELLA
My dad's been getting reports at the
sheriff's station. A couple hikers
went missing. People are scared.
Now everyone's chilled.
MIKE
I did hear some guy talking about it
at the store.
ERIC
Last time you clowns doubt my
girlfriend.
As they continue, Angela mouths "thanks" to Bella. They
share a smile and join in, Bella becoming part of the group.
CUT TO:
ECU ON JACOB AND BELLA'S FACES
-- just inches apart.
JACOB
You look scared.
BELLA
I'm not.
She's lying. PULL BACK to see she's straddling the now
completed motorcycle. Jacob stands next to her, holding the
bike up. There's an intimacy to their proximity. INCLUDE --
47.
EXT. LA PUSH - CLEARING IN THE FOREST (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
The bike is aimed down a dirt road. Jacob runs through the
instructions:
JACOB
Brake?
(she taps it)
Clutch?
(she squeezes it)
Right. Gas?
(she grips it)
You ready?
Bella nods. Jacob grins... then KICK-STARTS the bike.
JACOB
Slowly... release the clutch.
She does... the bike moves forward an inch -- Jacob
cautiously steps back. She moves forward another inch --
EDWARD (O.S.)
Stop.
Bella turns to find the apparition of EDWARD standing next
to her. Her hand slips off the clutch, the bike BUCKS and
falls on top of her. Jacob quickly lifts it off her as the
apparition of Edward disappears.
JACOB
You okay? Bruises, breaks -- ?
BELLA
I'm going again.
JACOB
I'm not sure that's a good --
Bella quickly rises and hops back on.
JACOB
Guess we're going again. Now what are
you going to do with the clutch?
BELLA
Release it. Slowly.
Jacob nods. Then kick-starts the bike again. She releases
the clutch and moves forward. Slowly at first -- EDWARD
reappears at her side, glowering.
48.
She keeps going, a little faster. EDWARD appears on her left
now; she passes him. He reappears ahead; she passes.
ON BELLA'S FACE as the wind flings her hair back. She
gathers speed... and for a moment, experiences pure freedom,
exhilaration... then she sees Edward standing at the curve
in the road ahead, and realizes --
BELLA
(yelling to Jacob)
I don't -- how do I turn!?
JACOB
Bank it! Bank - hit the brake!
Jacob races toward her. She reaches the turn, doesn't bank,
goes straight... and flies right into a wall of trees.
As she lies on the ground dazed, Jacob hurries up.
JACOB
What, are you training for the X-games?
She looks around for Edward. He's gone.
BELLA
I want to go again.
JACOB
Forget it. I'm revoking your
motorcycle privileges. Man, look at
your head.
Indeed, blood drips down her forehead. He pulls off his
shirt to mop it up. She shrinks away --
BELLA
God, I'm sorry.
JACOB
You're apologizing for bleeding?
BELLA
It doesn't... bother you?
JACOB
It's just blood, Bella.
He bends over her, carefully tending her head. She finds
herself looking at him. His dark eyes, his bare chest and
smooth skin. He glances at her.
49.
JACOB
What are you staring at?
BELLA
Just, you're actually... good looking.
He's surprised; there's a moment between them. He smiles.
JACOB
How hard did you hit your head?
BELLA
(realizing)
Oh I - yeah.
He offers her a hand, helps her up. She holds onto it,
alarmed.
BELLA
Jake, you're hot.
JACOB
Upgraded from good looking?
BELLA
No, temperature hot.
(feels his forehead)
You're burning up.
JACOB
I feel fine.
He takes her hand from his forehead. Holds it. She tries
to pull it away.
JACOB
What? I can't hold your hand?
BELLA
It just... means something else to you
than it does to me.
JACOB
One, that's my problem. But two... we
have fun, you think I'm hot --
BELLA
Good looking.
JACOB
I know you like me.
50.
BELLA
More than anyone. But... that's all.
JACOB
Because of Cullen?
The name stings her. He takes both her hands now.
JACOB
Look, I know what he did to you. I
can see it in your face every time his
name comes up. But you need to know -
I would never, ever do that to you. I
promise I will never hurt you. You
can count on me.
BELLA
I already do. You don't know how
much. You're my best friend but... I
don't think my feelings will change.
He takes this in, it's hard. A wave of something sweeps
over him. He sits back. Closes his eyes, takes a breath.
BELLA
I'm sorry. I should've said something
right from the start --
JACOB
No. That's not -- I just feel...
weird.
BELLA
I told you, you have a fever.
Probably that flu everyone has.
JACOB
It doesn't... feel like flu. I don't
know what it is.
Off Jacob, rattled, and Bella, concerned...
INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - ANOTHER DAY
Bella does homework. Charlie watches a game. She's on
edge. Anxious. HEAR A BEEEEP --
BELLA (O.S.)
Hey Jake. Just checking to see how
you're doing. And to say I'm sorry,
about, you know... how I feel and...
hope the flu passes fast. Call me.
51.
EXT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - ANOTHER DAY
Bella climbs out of her truck, SEES the empty spot where
Edward used to park. SEES Eric and Angela canoodling.
Couples everywhere. She puts her head down, hurries to
class. BEEEEP --
BELLA (O.S.)
Hi Jake. Your dad said you have mono.
He won't let me visit but... would you
call me?
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Bella paces her room, not wanting to sleep/dream. She eyes
the phone, waiting for it to ring. BEEEEP --
BELLA (O.S.)
Me again. I just... need to hear your
voice...
INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Bella's on the phone, leaving yet another message, her
desperation having reached its peak. In the living room,
Charlie and Harry check their fishing gear.
BELLA
Jacob. Please. Call me.
She hangs up, leans her forehead against the phone. Charlie
enters --
CHARLIE
Harry and I will be back by three --
He stops when he sees her. Puts a hand on her shoulder.
CHARLIE
It's mono, Bells.
BELLA
He's too sick to even call?
CHARLIE
You just gotta wait it out.
(then)
You know, I don't have to go fishing...
BELLA
(forcing a smile)
No, go. I'll call Jess or someone.
52.
CHARLIE
Good. But stay here or at Jess's. No
hikes or anything. We're issuing a
warning about those bears.
Off Bella's nod --
EXT. THE WOODS - DAY
SERIES OF CUTS - Bella tries to navigate her way to the
meadow. She refers to a map, a compass.
BELLA (V.O.)
I was more afraid of the hole in my
chest than I was of bears. Without
Jacob, I needed Edward more than
ever...
Bella tries a trail; it doesn't look familiar. Backtracks.
Tries another.
BELLA (V.O.)
... I needed to know he existed.
There was only one place I might find
him, or the feeling of him...
FLASHPOP - THE MEADOW - Edward and Bella lie in the grass
surrounded by flowers, sunlight dappling them. They look
lovingly into one another's eyes...
BACK ON BELLA - the memory and her desperation fuel her.
Finally, she sees a clearing ahead, hurries toward it --
EXT. THE MEADOW (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
-- Bella steps into the clearing, hopeful... but her face
falls. In contrast to the warmth of her memory, the meadow
is cold, gloomy, cloudy. And no Edward. She closes her
eyes, trying to force Edward here.
Nothing. Her eyes open on the empty, overcast meadow.
Bella sinks to her knees. Tears threatening. But then she
hears a RUSTLING noise. She turns toward it, peers into the
woods.
Another RUSTLING NOISE comes from another part of the woods.
She spins toward it -- nothing. Then she turns and JUMPS
when she finds --
Vampire LAURENT standing just ten yards away. Dreadlocks,
chiseled face. Bella can't believe it.
53.
BELLA
Laurent?
LAURENT
Bella.
She beams, realizing he's real.
BELLA
Laurent!
LAURENT
I must admit, I didn't expect to find
you here.
BELLA
I live here. But you - I thought you
were in Alaska with Carlisle's friend.
LAURENT
Tanya, I was. It was kind of him to
arrange, given my association with
James and Victoria, "The Enemy."
BELLA
You tried to help us.
Laurent begins to stroll in a slow arc around her, his eyes
assessing her as --
LAURENT
I went to visit the Cullens, but their
house is empty. I'm surprised they
left you behind. Weren't you sort of
a pet of theirs?
Bella's smile falters, fear beginning to dawn on her.
BELLA
Um... something like that.
LAURENT
Do the Cullens visit often?
Suddenly, EDWARD'S apparition appears between them.
EDWARD
Lie.
BELLA
Absolutely. All the time.
54.
EDWARD
Lie better.
BELLA
I'll tell them you stopped by.
Edward fades (throughout, he'll reappear when he speaks,
then fade again). Bella tries to look relaxed.
BELLA
Will they be able to reach you in Alaska?
LAURENT
I don't think so. Tanya's "vegetarian"
family was pleasant enough. But the
dietary restrictions were difficult -
living on nothing but animals.
Suddenly, he's standing inches from her. She now sees his
EYES. Dark blood-red.
LAURENT
(conspiratorial)
Tell me Bella. Do you ever feel
compelled to... cheat?
Bella involuntarily takes a step away from him.
LAURENT
But that's not why I left. I came
back here as a favor to Victoria.
BELLA
... You're still friends.
LAURENT
(shrugs)
More or less. She asked me to get the
lay of the land with the Cullens.
Because, well... I'm afraid Victoria
is quite put out with you.
BELLA
That's... too bad.
LAURENT
Yes. She feels it's only fair to kill
Edward's mate, given he killed hers.
Eye for an eye, mate for a mate.
And now Bella knows. Terror overwhelms her. Edward appears --
55.
EDWARD
Threaten him.
BELLA
Edward will know who did it. He'll
come after both of you.
LAURENT
I don't think he will. After all, how
much could you mean to him if he left
you here unprotected?
(then)
Victoria sent me here for information.
She won't be happy about my killing
you.
BELLA
No, Laurent...
LAURENT
(sincere)
No, no, no. Don't be upset. I'm
doing you a kindness. Victoria plans
on killing you slowly, painfully -
whereas I'll make it very quick.
(inhaling)
And you smell so... mouth watering.
He faces her, taking in her scent, bloodlust building. Her
eyes dart around, escape is impossible --
The only thing she SEES is the apparition of Edward, looking
at her with alarm...
BELLA
(whispering, barely
audible)
Edward. I love you.
Laurent is milliseconds from biting - then abruptly, his
expression changes. He sees something in the forest behind
Bella - and it terrifies him.
LAURENT
I... don't believe it.
He steps back. Bella's confused as she realizes he's no
longer focused on her... she follows his eyes, slowly
turning... to find behind her --
AN ENORMOUS BLACK WOLF skulking out of the darkness of the
woods. It stalks towards them, a low disturbing GROWL in
its throat, sharp teeth gleaming.
56.
Bella is trapped between the two killers. Edward whispers
in her ear --
EDWARD
Don't. Move.
The wolf slinks closer to Bella, a mere twenty feet from where
she stands, then --
FOUR MORE WOLVES soundlessly emerge from the trees, flanking
the black wolf. They're the size of small horses, all of
different hues: dark silver, chocolate, ash and russet-
brown. Their hackles are up, lips curling, bodies crouched,
ready to spring.
Bella is frozen with fear as they come toward her. The RUSSET-
BROWN WOLF is the closest and looks directly at her. Laurent
continues to retreat - then suddenly, almost simultaneously --
-- Laurent BOLTS across the meadow --
-- The wolves SPRING toward Bella -- and leap right over her
in pursuit of Laurent! Their thunderous SNARLS and SNAPS
shake her as the pack sprint after the vampire, surrounding
him before he reaches the treeline --
Laurent SWINGS at the dark silver wolf, SMACKING the wolf
half-way across the meadow. Another wolf lunges at Laurent -
he kicks it and it sails into a tree, SPLINTERING it.
The two wolves recover, lurch back to the pack which closes
in on Laurent. It's impossible to know who will prevail --
Bella doesn't stay to find out. She RACES into the woods --
EXT. WOODS (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
-- Bella runs franticly, tearing down the hillside,
tripping, quickly picking herself up -- running, running --
EXT. WOODS/ROADSIDE - DAY
-- Bella DASHES out of the treeline and to her truck parked
on the shoulder. She jumps in, PEALS out --
INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - DAY
Bella BURSTS in, out of breath. Charlie and Harry
Clearwater are washing their fishing gear. Charlie spins.
CHARLIE
Bella? What's wrong?
57.
BELLA
They're not giant bears -- I saw them.
Up in a meadow --
CHARLIE
Damn it, I told you not to go into the
woods!
HARRY CLEARWATER
What did you see, Bella?
BELLA
Wolves. They're wolves, Dad.
We might note, though they don't, that Harry Clearwater
sighs ever-so-slightly.
BELLA
Five of them. The size of - of cars.
I swear. They went after -- something -
- and I ran.
Charlie grabs up the phone; as he dials --
CHARLIE
Harry, can you get some men from the rez?
HARRY CLEARWATER
Sure. Yeah. I'll just --
Harry seems more concerned than gung-ho as he slips out.
CHARLIE
(into phone)
Jerry? Put a hunting party together --
tranq guns, large caliber shotguns --
there's something dangerous out there.
BELLA (V.O.)
Something dangerous. Victoria.
Her eyes dart around the house, their vulnerability spinning
in on her. As Charlie hangs up, goes to his gun cabinet --
BELLA (V.O.)
If she came after me, Charlie would
try to protect me -- and he'd die.
CHARLIE
I've gotta go to the station.
BELLA
Good! -- That's good.
58.
CHARLIE
You okay here? You want to come with?
BELLA
Actually, I -- need to see a friend.
EXT. JACOB'S HOUSE - DAY
Bella knocks. Then knocks again. Finally, Billy answers.
BELLA
Hi, Billy. I know Jacob's sick but --
BILLY
He's out with friends.
BELLA
(taken aback)
Oh.
BILLY
I'll let him know you came by.
Billy starts to close the door, but Bella stops him.
BELLA
Wait -- he's got mono, right? That's
what you told my dad.
BILLY
(with compassion)
You should go on home, Bella.
And he closes the door. Off Bella --
INT. BELLA'S TRUCK - DAY
Bella climbs in, slams the door, pissed. Starts the truck.
Then turns it off. Deciding, she tosses the keys aside and
sinks down into her seat to wait...
BELLA'S POV - EXT. JACOB'S HOUSE - ON THE WINDOW - LATER
RAIN now pours down. Billy, inside, pulls the curtain back,
looks out at Bella with sympathy. Then closes the curtain.
INT. BELLA'S TRUCK - ON BELLA - SAME
Bella looks out the passenger window at Billy. Suddenly,
there's a KNOCK at the driver's window. She spins to find --
JACOB standing there. But his face is shockingly different.
His hair is cropped short. No friendly smile.
59.
No warmth in his eyes. Just a hard, brooding resentment.
Bella is taken aback. She climbs out of the truck to FIND --
EXT. JACOB'S HOUSE (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
-- behind Jacob stand Sam Uley, Jared, Paul and Embry.
They're oblivious to the rain, wear minimal clothes.
BELLA
You cut your hair.
JACOB
Go away.
Jacob turns away. Sam leads the group toward the house.
Jacob follows. She, and we, note his sure-footed strides;
his awkward growth spurt disappeared overnight. She grabs
his arm.
BELLA
What happened to you?
He stops, turns back. The others wait on the porch for him.
They're out of earshot, but won't leave him alone with her.
BELLA
(lowers her voice)
I can help.
His face is hard as he shakes his head. He's not talking.
BELLA
Sam got to you. What did he do?
JACOB
Sam's trying to help me, don't blame him.
BELLA
Then who?
JACOB
(bitterness seething)
How `bout those filthy, reeking
bloodsuckers you love? The Cullens.
BELLA
(thrown)
I... don't know what you're --
JACOB
You know exactly what I'm talking
about.
He's shaking, almost convulsing with anger. She regroups.
60.
BELLA
The Cullens are long gone. How are
they to blame?
JACOB
They started all this by existing.
Goddamn leeches --
SAM
Jacob.
Jacob glances at Sam, who gives him a look. Jacob takes a
breath, trying to calm himself.
JACOB
I can't be friends with you anymore.
BELLA
Jake, I know I hurt you. I should
have been more up-front but -- I
needed you, I still do. I don't know
what that means yet, but if you give
me time --
JACOB
Stop. Don't. It's not you --
BELLA
-- "It's not you, it's me?" God.
JACOB
It's true. I'm not... good.
BELLA
You're wrong --
JACOB
It doesn't matter. This is over --
BELLA
I can't take losing my best friend, too.
JACOB
You already have --
BELLA
Don't say that -- you promised --
JACOB
Go home, Bella. Don't come back.
He practically runs away, joining the gang who all disappear
inside. Off Bella, standing in the rain...
61.
INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Bella enters, dripping wet, too listless to close the door.
Charlie's face falls when he sees the pain and lifelessness
returned to her. He grabs a blanket, wraps her in it.
CHARLIE
Billy called, said you and Jacob had a
fight. But, hey, you guys will work
it out, I'm sure of it.
BELLA
I'm... going to change.
Bella heads upstairs. Charlie sags, helpless. He moves to
the open door --
UNKNOWN POV - EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
-- It paces, watching Charlie slowly close the door...
SMASH TO:
INT. FOREST - NIGHT
Bella TEARS through the forest again, searching. She turns --
finds Edward, cold, distant. But his face begins to MORPH...
... and becomes Jacob's. She reaches for him but he BOLTS
backward, suddenly many yards away.
BELLA
Why!?
He, too, retreats further, disappearing until Bella is alone.
BLACKNESS encroaches, the moonlight becoming a tiny
spotlight on her. She searches the dark - then SEES a pair
of EYES, female, blood-red - coming toward her; HEAR a loud
SCREECHING NOISE --
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
-- Bella tosses herself awake, slowly realizing it was just
a dream. But she HEARS the SCREECHING noise again!
Fingernails on her window. Bella bolts upright, looks
around for a weapon --
JACOB (O.S.)
(whisper shouting)
Bella! Ouch - damn it; open the window.
Bella cautiously moves to her window to find --
62.
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
Jacob, shirtless, clings to the top of a tree which bends
with his weight. Bella opens the window, whisper-yelling --
BELLA
What the hell are you doing?
JACOB
Get out of the way.
He begins to swing his legs, increasing momentum. She
realizes what he's about to attempt --
BELLA
No!
He launches himself THROUGH the window with great agility --
INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
-- Jacob lands on the balls of his feet. Bella is stunned.
He freezes, listening for Charlie. Nothing. A bitter, self-
satisfied grin spreads on his face. It pisses Bella off.
He takes in her room.
JACOB
I pictured your room more...
cluttered.
BELLA
Why are you here?
JACOB
I had to talk to you. Alone.
BELLA
To kick me in the gut again? It was
bad before, but you made it so much
worse.
JACOB
I know. And I want to explain.
But... I can't.
BELLA
Then leave.
He stays put. She tries to push him but he's immoveable.
BELLA
You're done with me, remember? Get.
Out!
63.
JACOB
Bella, I literally can't explain...
She becomes aware of her hands on his bare skin and muscular
chest. The intimacy of their touch. She pulls away.
JACOB
I broke my promise not to hurt you, I
know. But I'm trying to keep it now.
I need you to understand... even if
you don't want to see me when you find
out --
BELLA
Find what out?
He starts to speak -- but can't. It's agonizing. She sees
he's in pain. Is concerned.
BELLA
What's wrong?
JACOB
I can't do it.
BELLA
Yes, you can. I'll help you. We
can... we can leave. Leave home,
leave Sam.
JACOB
It's not something I can run away
from.
(then)
I would run with you though. If I
could.
(beat, realizing)
Wait. Wait, I already -- I told you.
You know this -- you can guess.
BELLA
I don't want to play games with you --
JACOB
You have to! I can't tell you, but if
you remember - it was that day I ran
into you at the beach. I told you a
story -- come on! I told you a
story... about?
BELLA
... about... "The Cold Ones?" You
said it was a stupid tribal myth.
64.
JACOB
(pointedly)
Was it? Are the Cold Ones a myth?
She doesn't answer.
JACOB
What else did I say?
BELLA
That... the tribe made a treaty with
them. They can't come onto your land
and... I don't know, I don't remember.
JACOB
Try, Bella.
BELLA
You have to give me more. Tell me
where to look. Is there something I
should see -- ?
JACOB
No, that's too dangerous --
BELLA
I'll take the risk. Jacob, show me.
He looks at her, doesn't want to but knows it's the only
way. Beat.
JACOB
Where was the last place you saw me...
the way I used to be?
BELLA
The motorcycles - that clearing in the
woods.
He nods slowly, then turns to go. She stops him.
BELLA
Don't go. There are dangerous things
out there; more than you know.
He looks at her with a wry smile. Then pulls her into a
hug. Her cheek against his bare chest. She takes in the
closeness... then he soundlessly heads out her door. A beat
-- Bella starts pulling on clothes.
INT. BELLA'S TRUCK - NIGHT
Bella drives through the darkness.
65.
BELLA (V.O.)
If I was going to lose someone else, I
needed to know why.
She pulls off the road, and drives into the forest.
EXT. LA PUSH - CLEARING IN THE FOREST - NIGHT
Bella parks. Climbs out of her truck. The moon eerily
illuminates the clearing. Forest NOISES encroach.
She hears a RUSTLE amid the trees. Spooked, she freezes --
then SEES JACOB emerge from the trees. A moment as their
eyes meet. Then --
Sam Uley, Paul, Embry and Jared step into the clearing, as
well, half-clothed, movements almost synchronized. Their
expressions simultaneously alter into fury when they see
Bella. Paul spins on Jacob.
PAUL
What the hell have you done?!
JACOB
I didn't tell her. You'd know if I
did.
PAUL
She's here, isn't she?
SAM
Bella, there's nothing to see here.
You should go home.
BELLA
Not until I know what you did to Jacob.
PAUL
(advancing on Bella)
What we did?!
Jacob moves in front of Bella protectively, facing Paul.
SAM
Both of you, calm down --
JACOB
Sam, she knows things about the
bloodsuckers. She's been on the
inside. She can help --
PAUL
Like a leech lover's gonna help us.
66.
JACOB
Watch what you call her.
EMBRY
Get a grip, guys --
But Paul and Jacob are so angry, their bodies begin to
shake, nearly convulse. It unnerves Bella --
BELLA
It's alright, Jacob, I'll go --
Paul and Jacob are beyond hearing.
PAUL
All you care about is her --
SAM
(commanding)
Paul, back off.
PAUL
-- and she doesn't give a crap about
you --
Jacob flashes anger, PUSHES Paul, hard. Paul FLIES backward.
SAM
Jacob.
Paul rises, outraged, throws his head back in a growl,
vibrating violently --
JARED
Too late.
SAM
Bella, get back!
Paul FALLS FORWARD but halfway to the ground there's a loud
RIPPING noise and Paul explodes in silver-gray fur, becoming
a massive wolf crouched and ready to spring!
Bella, horrified, grabs Jacob's arm, pulling him --
BELLA
Run, Jacob! --
But he yanks away from her, runs directly at the Paul-wolf --
BELLA
Jake, no! Stop -- !
67.
Jacob DIVES headfirst into the air - with another sharp
TEARING sound, shreds of cloth blast into the air, fur
BURSTS from Jacob's skin - he lands on the ground a gigantic
russet-brown wolf, charging the Paul-wolf.
Bella reels as the two wolves CRASH into each other,
snarling and RAMMING one another. The sound is DEAFENING.
Their teeth flash at each other's throats.
Bella stumbles backward as the fight carries the two wolves
beyond the clearing and into the woods --
CAMERA FOLLOWS THEM, as they fight deeper and deeper into
the darkness... until they disappear. The horrible SOUNDS
of the fight still ECHO --
BACK IN THE CLEARING -- Sam starts after them, kicking off
his shoes.
SAM
Take Bella to Emily's place.
Sam disappears leaving an eerie quiet. A long silence...
EMBRY
Guess the wolf's out of the bag.
Off Bella, stunned.
EXT. LA PUSH - EMILY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Bella's truck, driven by Embry, pulls up to a tiny,
weathered house with a window box full of marigolds. Jared,
in the back, jumps out, opens Bella's door. He and Embry
head toward the house. She doesn't move.
EMBRY
(to Jared)
Pay up. She didn't puke.
Jared, annoyed, hands Embry five bucks.
EMBRY
Told you she was tough. She does run
with bloodsuckers.
BELLA
Wait. We should go back, make sure
Jacob's okay.
JARED
I hope Paul gets some teeth in him.
Serve him right.
68.
EMBRY
No way. Jake's a natural. You see
him phase on the fly? I gotta fiver
says Paul doesn't touch him.
JARED
Easy money. Paul's been at it longer.
Bella looks at them, appalled. They realize she's not
following them.
EMBRY
Come on in. We won't bite.
JARED
Speak for yourself.
Bella warily climbs out of the car, joins them. Embry
pauses at the door --
EMBRY
Oh, hey, about Emily - Sam's fiance -
just try not to stare. It bugs Sam.
BELLA
Why would I stare? --
-- But the guys are already entering --
INT. EMILY'S HOUSE (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
Bella hesitantly enters behind Jared and Embry. She sees
EMILY, 20, at a counter, popping fresh muffins out of a tin.
SEE only one side of Emily's beautiful face, draped by long
black hair.
EMILY
You guys hungry? Like I have to ask...
Emily looks toward them now -- REVEALING the other side of
her face: A scar runs from hairline to chin, three red lines
that pull down her eye and twist her mouth.
EMILY
Who's this?
As Jared and Embry beeline for the muffins --
JARED
Bella Swan. Who else?
EMILY
So you're the vampire girl.
69.
BELLA
And you're a... you're all...
EMILY
Werewolves? I'm just engaged to one.
But these animals --
(slaps Embry's hand)
Save some for your brothers.
Bella cautiously approaches the counter, keeping an eye on
the door for Jacob.
EMILY
Leave it to Jacob to get around Sam's
gag order.
BELLA
He didn't say anything, or...
couldn't.
EMBRY
That's a wolf thing. Alpha's orders
get obeyed whether we want to or not --
JARED
How `bout you shut up now, Embry?
EMBRY
You know Jacob's gonna fill her in.
JARED
Yeah, I know every stupid thought he
has.
(to Bella)
Wanna know what he thinks of you?
EMILY
Like you need special powers to know
that.
EMBRY
(to Bella)
It's another wolf thing. We hear each
other's thoughts. Good for hunting.
Embarrassing for everything else.
Jared leans to Bella, challenging.
JARED
Freaking out yet?
70.
BELLA
(meets his look)
You're not the first -- mind reader
I've met.
EMBRY
(grins)
Jake's right. You are good with the
weird.
BELLA
But I don't get -- how? Why? --
SAM (O.S.)
-- Because there are bad things here.
She spins - Sam is now standing behind her, the front door
open behind him.
SAM
And they're getting worse.
Bella is chilled. Sam moves past her to Emily - the sight
of her instantly warms his face.
SAM
Hey, Em.
He kisses Emily's scarred face adoringly. Bella has to look
away. Their utter devotion is a painful reminder of what
she has lost. Fortunately, she's distracted by --
Jacob and Paul's arrival. They laugh and jab one another.
Bella is relieved to find Jacob unscathed. Jared and Embry
crowd them, finding a scar on Paul's arm --
EMBRY
Ha! Pay up.
As Jared reluctantly hands Embry five bucks, Jacob's eyes
find Bella's. He nods solemnly to the door; we should talk.
EXT. LA PUSH - CLIFFS - DAWN
The sun is just beginning to rise, reddening the clouds
overhead. Bella paces by the cliff's edge, trying to come
to grips with this new reality. Jacob keeps his distance,
trying to control his anger.
BELLA
You just have to... stop.
71.
JACOB
It's not a life-style choice. It's in
my DNA.
BELLA
Killing is in your DNA?
JACOB
Man, I thought maybe you wouldn't be
such a hypocrite -- what, I'm not the
right kind of monster for you? Can't
measure up to your bloodsucking
friends --
BELLA
(angry as well)
Hey, they manage to survive without
hurting innocent people.
Jacob stops -- a beat as his anger is replaced by confusion.
JACOB
Wait - innocent? -- so... you don't
care that I morph into a giant dog.
Just that I... kill people?
BELLA
(appalled)
"Just?" Those hikers' lives mean that
little to you?
He bursts out laughing.
BELLA
(repelled, turns to go)
Oh my God.
JACOB
Bella -- Bella wait...
(he stops her)
We're not killing hikers. We're
trying to protect them.
BELLA
From what?
JACOB
The only thing we do kill: Vampires.
BELLA
(stunned, reels)
Vampires? Jake, no --
72.
JACOB
(steps back, bitter)
Don't worry, we can't touch your
precious Cullens - unless they bite
someone and violate the Treaty --
BELLA
That's not what I -- you can't fight
vampires. They're too dangerous.
JACOB
Please. We took out that leech with
the dreads easy enough.
BELLA
You... killed Laurent?
JACOB
(worried)
... He didn't seem like a friend.
BELLA
No, God no. But... how?
JACOB
It's what we do, why we exist. A few
"lucky guys" in the tribe have the
gene. If a bloodsucker moves to town,
our DNA kicks in, we reach the right
age and the fever hits --
BELLA
(realizing)
"Mono."
JACOB
I wish. Next thing I know, they're
telling me, this is your life now. That
future you saw for yourself? Gone.
Desolation fills him. She sees this.
BELLA
It's bad, huh?
JACOB
I just hate feeling... out of control.
Like maybe Sam is right; you shouldn't
be around me.
BELLA
Like you could get rid of me.
73.
JACOB
You've seen Emily.
That lands with her. She nods.
JACOB
Sam lost it for a split second; Em was
standing too close -- he's still messed
up about it.
(beat)
I don't want to be that kind of
nightmare.
BELLA
You're not like that. You save
people, right? You saved me from
Laurent.
JACOB
Yeah, didn't mind taking him out. His
red-headed girlfriend will be fun,
too.
Bella stops, chilled to the bone.
BELLA
Victoria. She's here?
JACOB
We chased her all the way to the
border the other night. But she won't
stay gone. Keeps coming back -- if we
knew what she was after...
(sees Bella's face)
... What?
BELLA
I know what she wants. Me.
SMASH TO:
EXT. FOREST HIGHWAY - DAY
A MASERATI with Canadian plates blasts down the highway at a
blinding speed --
INT. MASERATI - SAME
CLOSE ON VICTORIA, easily controlling the steering wheel
with two fingers. She speaks to someone we don't see, her
words laced with longing and fury.
74.
VICTORIA
James hated cars. He liked being
close to the ground. But I'd steal
one occasionally, to throw him off the
scent... See, we played hide and seek
sometimes. No one can hide like me --
(grins to her passenger)
-- but no one could seek like James.
INCLUDE her barely conscious passenger, DENISE, 30's, a
pretty bleach-blonde with expensive jewelry. She's just
coming to, a bump on her head where she was knocked out.
DENISE
What -- what are you -- ?
VICTORIA
Some games lasted months... but we
always got hungry for each other.
(sly, to Denise)
So I'd let him find me...
Denise now lucid, looks around to SEE --
IN THE BACK SEAT her husband, MICHAEL'S BODY, well-dressed
in a turtle neck, 40's, sits upright, his head tilted
forward as if he's resting. Denise reaches for him --
DENISE
Michael? Oh my God --
VICTORIA
We never could get enough of each
other...
(seething)
We would have had forever to try.
Denise, scared, shakes Michael's arm --
DENISE
Michael?!
-- which causes Michael's head to roll to the side,
revealing his gouged, blood-soaked neck and his vacant, dead
eyes. Denise starts SCREAMING. Victoria grins.
VICTORIA
James always loved a screamer.
Victoria's hand jets out, grabbing a fistful of Denise's
hair. She yanks Denise over, exposing her neck just as we --
SMASH TO:
75.
EXT. EMILY'S BACKYARD - DAY
ON JARED --
JARED
Excellent. If the redhead's after
Bella, we've got bait.
With stunning speed, Jacob grabs a four-pronged spading fork
from some garden tools, and FLINGS it toward Jared's head -
Jared easily, and amazingly, catches it.
JACOB
She is not bait.
INCLUDE - A picnic table in the middle of this small,
quaintly landscaped garden. Jacob, Bella, Embry, Paul, Sam,
Jared and Emily are in the midst of a huge breakfast.
BELLA
I should leave town.
SAM
Victoria will follow you and make it
harder for us to catch her.
BELLA
No one can catch her. She can escape
anything.
PAUL
Ooh. She has special powers.
BELLA
Some of them do.
They all look at her. She instantly regrets saying it.
JACOB
Like... what? Bella?
JARED
The mind reader you said you knew. He
was a suckhead? Can they all do that?
EMBRY
That would blow.
BELLA
No, I -- shouldn't have - no.
PAUL
She's still protecting them.
76.
JARED
I don't know why. It's not like they
stuck around to protect you --
JACOB
Guys, back off.
Jacob looks apologetically at Bella. She shrinks, stung.
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Jacob walks her to the door.
JACOB
Don't worry, we've got this place
covered. She won't get near you or
Charlie.
Bella nods. He sees she's blue.
JACOB
Hey, we should do something fun.
Like... cliff diving, right?
BELLA
I could use the rush.
JACOB
Soon. After we catch her.
He offers a reassuring look before jogging into the woods.
EXT. CULLEN HOUSE - NIGHT
Bella tentatively approaches the large, modern glass home.
She climbs the porch steps, approaches the door...
INT. CULLEN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
Bella enters to find it perfectly intact, lived-in, warm,
candles glowing... and the Cullen family enjoying the
evening - Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper.
Bella is overwhelmed with joy at seeing them.
BELLA
You're here.
But they ignore her. Won't even look at her. She starts
toward them but suddenly --
Edward appears and YANKS Bella away, pulling her to the door
and pushing her out, slamming it on her --
77.
EXT. CULLEN HOUSE - (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
-- Bella runs to the window, peers in at the family who
continue to ignore her as they gather around Edward --
INT. BELLA'S ROOM - MORNING
Bella awakens, tears on her face. She can't take it. Gets
the hell out of bed, anxious to leave the dream behind. But
it stays with her...
EXT. EMILY'S HOUSE - DAY
Bella knocks on the door, rain falling around her, wind
blowing strong. Emily opens the door. Sees her.
EMILY
Bella. Are you okay?
BELLA
Yeah, I just... is Jacob here? He
wasn't at home...
Sam appears behind Emily.
SAM
He's with Jared and Embry, keeping an
eye on things. I'm heading out soon.
Should I tell him something?
-- as Sam wraps an arm around Emily. Their deep love is
achingly obvious. Off Bella's face --
FLASHPOP to Bella and Edward at her birthday party, in a
similar embrace, as Alice SNAPS their picture --
BACK ON BELLA - pained.
EMILY
You want to come in?
-- But Bella's already hurrying to her truck, determination
on her face.
EXT. WOODS - DAY
CLOSE ON A RIFLE as it locks and loads. INCLUDE CHARLIE,
who checks it, then notes the position of the SIX MEN in his
hunting party, all wearing rain gear. He SEES Harry at the
end of the line, pausing, looking down.
CHARLIE
You got something, Harry?
78.
ON HARRY - he looks down at a large WOLF PAW PRINT.
HARRY CLEARWATER
Nope, nothin'.
The hunting party moves forward. Harry lets them get ahead,
stomps out the paw print.
ON CHARLIE as he passes under a huge tree --
WHIP PAN UP THE TREE to find that HIGH ABOVE, crouching on a
limb, is VICTORIA. She watches Charlie with a vengeful glare.
She noiselessly SWINGS down to a lower branch, getting ready
to pounce on Charlie --
ON HARRY - his eye catches her movement; he looks up, SEES
the back of her red head -- his breath CATCHES --
She HEARS the sound, even through the rain and wind. Before
Harry can raise his shotgun --
Victoria's standing next to him, WHIPPING the gun out of his
hands with superhuman speed. He GASPS, breath stuck in his
chest. She grins, about to bite -- but suddenly --
THE RUSSET-BROWN JACOB-WOLF smashes into her, knocking her
away. She rights herself immediately and takes off --
THE THREE WOLVES give chase, disappearing. It all happened
soundlessly, in seconds, unbeknownst to the others...
STAY ON HARRY - he still can't catch his breath, IN SLOW
MOTION he clasps his left arm -- INTERCUT WITH --
EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE WOODS - SAME
LIGHTNING FAST CUTS of THE CHASE - the wolves are right on
Victoria's tail, blasting through the forest --
BACK ON CHARLIE - SLOW MOTION - He turns to SEE Harry
clutching his chest. Charlie runs to Harry's side --
SMASH BACK TO VICTORIA escaping at breakneck speed she
bursts out of the trees to --
EXT. THE OCEAN (CONTINUOUS) - SAME
-- Victoria beelines for the choppy water, dives in -- when
she reappears, she's hundreds of yards offshore --
THE WOLVES prowl the beach in frustration as we go --
79.
BACK ON HARRY - SLOW MOTION - he falls to his knees just as
Charlie reaches him. Off Charlie beginning CPR...
SMASH TO:
EXT. LA PUSH - CLIFFS - DAY
Bella's truck comes to a stop; she climbs out. Ignoring the
wind and rain, she strides to the cliff's edge; looks down --
BELLA'S POV - THE WATER - steely gray. Rough whitecaps.
EDWARD (O.S.)
Step back.
Bella smiles, tears of relief springing to her eyes. She
turns to find Edward's apparition at her side.
She steps back from the cliff's edge - which causes him to
disappear.
That's it. She starts pulling off her shoes and coat,
adrenaline pumping --
Edward's apparition reappears, but she keeps going --
EDWARD
Stop this now, Bella.
BELLA
You won't stay with me any other way.
She takes a last look at him... then with a running leap --
FLINGS herself over the edge --
ON BELLA SCREAMING with exhilaration as she plummets down,
down... then SPLASHES into the water.
EXT. ON THE WATER'S SURFACE (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
No sign of Bella. A beat. Suddenly, she POPS back up.
Inhales deeply -- and laughs!
BELLA
Yes!
She enjoys a moment of elation and empowerment... then turns
to swim ashore... but her smile falters when she realizes
how strong the current is...
A WAVE crashes over her head. She gasps for breath. Then
ANOTHER WAVE hits her. Starts to pull her under...
80.
UNDER THE WATER - Bella struggles --
ABOVE WATER - she pops up, looks around in a panic, SEES --
BELLA'S POV - IN THE DISTANCE - something orange-ish,
bobbing on the surface of the water --
Bella goes down - then comes up again - THE ORANGE-ISH thing
is suddenly thirty yards closer.
Bella struggles to stay afloat but the current SMASHES her
into a rock, the air goes out of her chest. She sinks.
ANGLE ON THE ORANGE-ISH THING -- IT'S VICTORIA, floating
effortlessly, hungry anticipation on her face. She dips
below the surface, vanishing...
UNDER THE WATER - BELLA SINKS, struggling at first... Edward
appears in front of her, his eyes full of longing and love.
He reaches to her, she to him, hands almost touching, things
going dark... suddenly A HAND GRABS HER COLLAR --
SMASH TO:
EXT. BEACH - DAY
CLOSE ON BELLA - barely conscious.
JACOB
Breathe, Bella! C'mon!
Jacob hits her on the back. She spits up water, coming to.
JACOB
Bella? Can you hear me?
BELLA
... Jake?
She focuses, finally SEES Jacob hovering over her, relieved.
Behind him stands Sam.
SAM
She'll be alright.
Sam looks out at the water, scanning it. Sensing something.
JACOB
What the hell were you thinking?
BELLA
I needed... to see... something.
81.
JACOB
What? The pearly gates? If we hadn't
heard you scream --
SAM
Get her home. I'm heading to the
hospital. I'll meet you there.
Jacob nods. Sam jogs off.
JACOB
Why would you jump? Didn't you notice
it's like a hurricane out here?
BELLA
I know. It was stupid --
(realizing)
-- Sam said hospital - someone's hurt?
JACOB
Harry Clearwater had a heart attack.
BELLA
Oh my God - does my Dad know?
JACOB
He and my dad are both over there.
BELLA
Will Harry be okay?
JACOB
I don't know. Come on. I'll find you
something dry and drive you home.
As Jacob helps Bella up, we RACK FOCUS out to --
ANGLE ON THE WATER - where Victoria bobs, watching Jacob
guide Bella away... then she disappears below the surface.
INT. BELLA'S TRUCK - NIGHT
Jacob drives. Bella wears a fleece jacket but still
shivers. He pulls her close, wrapping an arm around her --
JACOB
Hundred and eight degrees over here.
She tucks herself into him.
BELLA
Must be nice, never getting cold.
82.
JACOB
It's a wolf thing.
BELLA
It's a Jacob thing. You're just...
warm.
JACOB
(grins)
Like the sun.
BELLA
(meaning it)
Like the sun.
JACOB
Which always comes back. You can
count on me.
She nods. Awkward silence. He fills it.
JACOB
There are other cool things about all
this, like -- I heal fast. Wanna see
me stab my hand?
BELLA
(no!)
Yeah, `cause that would be fun.
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE/INT. TRUCK (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
The truck pulls up to the curb. It's pitch black outside.
Jacob's still holding her close as he shuts the engine off.
BELLA
So... this wolf thing's not all bad?
JACOB
It's better. Now that you know.
But...
BELLA
... but...
JACOB
It just... comes so easily to me.
More than the other guys.
BELLA
That's a good thing, isn't it?
83.
JACOB
Maybe. Or maybe it makes me less...
human than the others.
(beat, quieter)
Sometimes I'm scared I might...
disappear, you know? Who I really am.
Bella faces him, looks directly in his eyes.
BELLA
I won't let that happen.
Their faces are close... and stay close for an intimate
beat. They could kiss, their lips near... but Bella blinks
herself back to reality and pulls away.
BELLA
Thanks for driving - for everything.
-- as she pushes open her door. WIND wafts in -- Jacob
reacts to a repugnant smell outside --
JACOB
Holy crap -- !
He abruptly pulls Bella back into the truck, SLAMS her door
shut and starts the truck.
JACOB
There's a bloodsucker out there.
BELLA
How do you know?
JACOB
I can smell the stink. I'm getting
you out of here.
As Jacob whips the truck around, the HEADLIGHTS ILLUMINATE --
BELLA'S POV - THE DRIVEWAY -- a black Mercedes is parked in
front. Bella spins to the rear window as Jacob floors it --
BELLA
Stop! It's not Victoria --
JACOB
Forget it --
BELLA
It's Carlisle's car! They're here.
Go back! --
84.
JACOB
It's a trick --
He's still flooring it -- Bella cracks her door open while
they're moving - he SLAMS on the brakes. She jumps out --
JACOB
Damn it, Bella --
EXT. ROAD (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
Bella hurries up the road toward her house. Jacob's
suddenly standing in front of her, furious --
JACOB
Stop. You gotta come with me.
BELLA
It's okay. They're my friends --
JACOB
Don't you get it? If a Cullen is back
here, this is their territory. The Treaty
says we can only defend our own lands.
BELLA
-- It's not a war --
JACOB
It is. And you'll only be safe in La
Push. I can't protect you here anymore.
BELLA
I don't need you to --
JACOB
-- You're about to cross a line --
BELLA
Only if you draw one.
She starts to move past him, but he stops her --
JACOB
I'm not letting you do this.
BELLA
You don't have a choice. I don't
belong to you.
Her words are a knife to the heart. She sees that, but
can't take them back. He hands her the keys.
85.
JACOB
Bye, Bella, I hope you don't die.
She flinches at the stinging remark. He disappears into the
darkness, leaving her alone on the dark road.
She's closer to her house than her truck. She hurries
forward. The NIGHT SOUNDS start to encroach, branches
crackling, bushes rustling. She glances behind her...
nothing but darkness... she faces forward again ---
And runs directly into a VAMPIRE! Bella SCREAMS -- then
realizes IT'S ALICE. Bella is stunned. So is Alice.
BELLA
Alice!
ALICE
You're... alive.
She's clearly confused, but Bella hugs her with tears of joy.
BELLA
Oh my God, Alice. You're here.
ALICE
I heard voices - I didn't think it was
you but - you're alive.
BELLA
You keep saying that.
ALICE
I saw you - a vision of you - you
jumped off a cliff. I knew I'd be too
late but --
(becoming angry)
Why the hell would you try to kill
yourself?!
BELLA
I didn't. I was cliff diving.
ALICE
Why?!
BELLA
Um... fun?
ALICE
That was fun for you.
86.
BELLA
Until I hit the water.
ALICE
I have never met anyone more prone to
life-threatening idiocy... and what is
that hideous wet dog smell?
BELLA
Oh. Probably Jacob. He's kind of a
werewolf.
Off Alice's horrified expression.
INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
As Bella makes herself hot chocolate, Alice paces.
BELLA
Werewolves are not vicious.
ALICE
Until they lose their tempers.
BELLA
They saved me from Laurent, they're
protecting me from Victoria --
ALICE
(shocked)
Victoria? I didn't see her. I didn't
see you get pulled from the water
either.
BELLA
It was Jacob who saved me. More than
once. I couldn't have made it without
him. You have no idea what it was
like.
ALICE
(softening)
Yes. I do. I knew leaving wouldn't
be good for you. I tried to tell
Edward, but he wouldn't listen.
BELLA
(hesitantly)
... Does he know you're here?
ALICE
No. He's been... away...
87.
INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT - RIO DE JANEIRO - DAY
A dump, empty but for a table and chair. On the table lie
THE PHOTOS that once lined Bella's walls. Edward stands in
the center of the room, stock still, staring out at the
rising sun. His face is as empty and desolate as Bella's
was after he left.
A CELL PHONE on the table RINGS jarringly. He doesn't move.
It continues. Finally, he whips the receiver to his ear,
exasperated.
EDWARD
What?
ROSALIE (O.S.)
Wow, Edward finally answered the
phone. I feel so honored...
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. TANYA'S ALASKAN HOME - DAY
Rosalie, on the phone, stands at the picture window --
ROSALIE'S POV - EXT. ALASKAN HOUSE - Emmett, Jasper,
Carlisle and Esme walk away from the house, over the snow to
the treeline, on their way to hunt. None wear coats.
EDWARD
I'm hanging up now...
Rosalie turns away from the window.
ROSALIE
Wait!... You should come home.
(no response)
Esme's a wreck, Carlisle never smiles.
Even Emmett's depressed. You've
really done a number on them.
EDWARD
(pained)
I'm sorry. I am. But they wouldn't
be happier with me around. Trust me.
ROSALIE
I... I just miss... us. The family.
EDWARD
I know. But the further away I am,
the safer Bella will be. She deserves
a shot at a normal life --
88.
ROSALIE
But see, you don't have to worry about
that, not anymore --
She stops realizing she may be making a mistake. But Edward
caught it, sits up.
EDWARD
Why, Rose? Did something happen?
ROSALIE
I - uh --
EDWARD
Tell me, Rosalie.
(rises, fierce)
Tell me! --
ROSALIE
(blurts)
-- Alice had a vision. She saw Bella -
- throw herself off a cliff... She's
dead, Edward.
Edward reels, uncomprehending.
EDWARD
I... don't believe it.
ROSALIE
Alice is there now. Thought she could
help with the funeral or something.
STAY ON ROSALIE as --
ROSALIE
Come home, Edward. It's time...
Edward...?
She's been disconnected. Off Rosalie, worried...
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE - DAY
Bella walks Charlie to his cruiser. He wears a dark, ill-
fitting funeral suit. At the car, Bella adjusts his tie --
CHARLIE
Thanks for understanding, Bells. They
wanted to keep the service small.
BELLA
Don't worry about me. Are you gonna
be okay?
89.
CHARLIE
Yeah... but Sue, and those kids --
Leah's only a year older than you.
And Seth's, what, fourteen...
Emotion threatens. She hugs him. He holds on a little too
tightly for a beat. Then he bucks up, climbs into his car.
CHARLIE
There'll be a reception after. I
might stay late, see if I can help.
Bella nods, then waves as he drives away. She turns to head
back inside but finds Alice suddenly at her side. She jumps.
ALICE
You're not going?
BELLA
I'm not the most popular person on the
werewolf rez right now.
ALICE
(saddened)
Because you're friends with me.
Bella shrugs. Alice hears something, then looks down the
road -- JACOB'S RABBIT appears in the distance....
ALICE
Huh. Didn't see them coming. Didn't
see him pull you out of the water -
maybe my visions are allergic to dogs.
BELLA
-- Alice.
ALICE
(jogging off)
I'll go do some hunting.
ANGLE ON THE RABBIT -- as it pulls up. Jacob drives, Embry in
the passenger seat. Bella approaches, surprised to find QUIL
in the back; same short hair and hard look as the others.
BELLA
Quil... you, too?
QUIL
(aggressive)
Yeah. Me, too.
Jacob climbs out. Embry takes the driver's seat.
90.
JACOB
You alone?
BELLA
Yes. Shouldn't you be at the funeral?
JACOB
Had to talk to you first.
(to the guys)
I'll meet you there. Go on.
They're wary... but pull out. Jacob follows Bella into --
INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Jacob enters behind Bella. She turns to him...
BELLA
Look, Jake, I'm sorry I --
JACOB
This place stinks to hell.
She sees he's shut down, cold. She shuts down, as well.
BELLA
You're welcome to leave. In fact --
JACOB
-- How many Cullens are here and how
long are they staying?
BELLA
(snapping back)
Just Alice. And she'll stay as long
as she wants.
JACOB
Are the rest coming back?
BELLA
Not that I'm aware of. Anything else?
JACOB
That's it.
BELLA
Better go report to Sam.
Jacob turns, starts to leave. He looks back, sees her anger
turn to hurt. He stops. Beat.
91.
JACOB
I've done it again. I keep breaking
my promise not to hurt you.
BELLA
It doesn't have to be this way.
He moves back to her, looks into her eyes with sadness.
JACOB
Yeah, it does.
BELLA
Am I gonna lose you this time, Jacob?
He can't answer that, but he presses his hand to her cheek.
JACOB
It was easier when we were both human,
wasn't it?
They look at one another, Jacob's hand still on her face,
his eyes searching hers.
Slowly, he starts to bend toward her lips. She doesn't pull
away. She misses him too much, needs him too badly. This
time, she'll let it happen. A kiss is a centimeter away...
Suddenly, the shrill RING of the phone makes them both jump.
Jacob, the closest to it, doesn't move his face, just keeps
looking into her eyes as he reaches for the phone, answers --
JACOB
Swan residence.
She smiles. But he instantly bristles, voice going cold.
JACOB
He's not here. He's at a funeral...
Then the phone goes dead --
INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT - RIO DE JANEIRO - SAME
-- Edward stares at his phone crazed, enraged, grief-
stricken -- he HURLS it against the wall, shattering it.
INT. BELLA'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME
-- Jacob hangs up the phone.
JACOB
Filthy bloodsucker.
92.
BELLA
Wait, who was it?
JACOB
(spitting it out)
Dr. Carlisle Cullen.
BELLA
You should have let me talk to him.
JACOB
He didn't ask for you --
Suddenly, Jacob's eyes go wild, his body stiffens, starts
trembling in the way that precedes a wolf-morph.
JACOB
Step away from me, Bella.
Bella turns to see what he's reacting to - Alice. She
stands in doorway looking empty, despairing. Bella
immediately hurries to her side.
BELLA
Alice, what's wrong?
ALICE
... Edward.
BELLA
What about him? What happened?
ALICE
I just saw him in a vision. He...
thinks you're dead.
BELLA
(realizing)
That was him calling, not Carlisle.
ALICE
Bella, he's going to Italy... to the
Volturi...
OFF BELLA'S FACE -- FLASHPOPS of the CIRCULAR HALL, the
THREE VOLTURI - the DISMEMBERING of the rogue vampire --
SMASH TO:
INT. BELLA'S ROOM - DAY
The door SLAMS open and Bella races in, shoving clothes into
a bag. Jacob dogs her, protesting.
93.
JACOB
Why do you have to go?
BELLA
He won't believe Alice. He has to see
that I'm alive.
JACOB
(stops her)
He left you, Bella. He didn't want
you anymore, remember?
BELLA
But I still love him, and I'm not gonna
let him kill himself out of guilt.
This wounds him. But she can't stop to soothe him. She
pulls away and continues packing.
JACOB
What about your dad?
BELLA
I'm eighteen, legally free to go.
I'll leave a note.
Alice enters.
ALICE
Got the airline tickets.
JACOB
(squaring off with Alice)
You Cullens might hunt animals but
those monsters in Italy don't.
ALICE
I'm well aware what the Volturi are.
JACOB
Then why are you taking Bella to them
like a bottle of wine to a party?
ALICE
Right, she's better off here with
Victoria stalking her. The one you
dogs can't seem to catch?
Jacob growls, a shudder ripping through him. Bella
intercedes, stopping him from morphing by grabbing Alice.
BELLA
Let's go.
94.
EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE - DAY
Alice flies to her car. But Jacob catches Bella's arm, not
hostile. Just pleading.
JACOB
Please, Bella. Stay here. For
Charlie... for me.
Bella sees the love in his eyes; this could be last time she
ever sees him. She hugs him, then pulls away.
BELLA
Bye, Jacob.
He watches, agonized as she races to the car, climbs in...
INT. THE MERCEDES (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
Bella tries to pull on her seat belt but Alice stops her --
ALICE
Maybe Jacob's right.
(Bella tries to
interrupt)
No. You need to realize - the Volturi
could easily see me as Edward's
accomplice. And you're a human who
knows too much and tastes too good.
They could kill us all.
Bella's response is to yank her seat belt into its clip.
Alice sees she won't change her mind. She shifts into gear
and PEELS OUT. Bella looks out the window for Jacob; he's
not there... she turns toward the woods --
BELLA'S POV -- THE TREELINE -- SHREDDED CLOTHING FLIES in the
air as we SEE the HIND LEGS OF A WOLF disappear into the
forest. Off Bella, fighting tears but determined as hell...
INT. VOLTURI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
ON EDWARD walking down a seemingly endless corridor.
Finally, he reaches a set of intricately carved double doors
which open for him. He enters --
INT. CIRCULAR WHITE MARBLE HALL (CONTINUOUS) - NIGHT
-- Edward finds himself facing three wooden thrones, on
which sit the ancient Volturi: Aro, Marcus, Caius.
Aro wears an expensive, contemporary, black Italian suit,
long black hair in a loose ponytail to his waist.
95.
Marcus and Caius eschew modern clothing for rich silk robes,
their long hair loose around them. All three have
translucent, onion-like, white skin.
EDWARD
Have you decided?
ARO
It was an intriguing debate. We don't
get many suicidal vampires.
CAIUS
Pathetic.
ARO
I'm afraid your gifts are too valuable
to destroy. But if you're unhappy
with your lot, join us. We'd be
delighted to utilize your skills.
EDWARD
So you won't end this.
MARCUS
Not without cause.
Edward registers this, his face setting. Clearly, he's
going to give them cause. He strides out. Off Aro...
ARO
Such a waste.
EXT. FLORENCE AIRPORT, ITALY - MORNING
Bella waits impatiently at the curb as --
A YELLOW HARD-TOP PORSCHE with darkly tinted windows
SCREECHES to a halt in front of her. The passenger door
opens - Alice is behind the wheel, pulling off the chic,
white, hooded coat she used for protection against the sun.
As Bella climbs in, buckles up --
BELLA
Where'd you get the car?
ALICE
Hope you're not opposed to grand theft
auto.
BELLA
Not today.
Alice FLOORS it and the Porsche PEELS OUT --
96.
EXT. TUSCAN COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
AERIAL VIEW - THE YELLOW PORSCHE screams down a highway,
cutting lanes, weaving through Peugots and Fiats --
INT. PORSCHE - DAY
Bella grips the dashboard as Alice narrowly misses a car.
BELLA
How much time do we have.
ALICE (O.S.)
He's waiting till noon, when the sun's
at its highest...
SMASH TO:
EXT. VOLTERRA - PALAZZO DEI PRIORI - DAY (ALICE'S VISION)
It's jumpy, uneven -- EDWARD stands in shadow, his shirt
open, eyes shut. A clock GONGS as he steps into SUNLIGHT --
ALICE
... He's going to make the Volturi
change their minds.
INT. PORSCHE - SAME
BELLA
(checking her watch)
It's almost noon now.
ALICE
There's Volterra.
Alice punches it as Bella SEES --
BELLA'S POV - A MEDIEVAL FORTIFIED VILLAGE atop a distant
hill. Volterra.
EXT. VOLTERRA - DAY
The narrow, centuries-old streets are crowded with festival
revellers who all wear RED. They gaily head toward the town
square carrying red pendants, balloons, scarves. The
PORSCHE weaves through them, hurrying forward.
INTERCUT INSIDE THE PORSCHE --
BELLA
Why are they all wearing red?
97.
ALICE
San Marcos Day festival. The perfect
setting. Large crowds. The Volturi
won't let him get far enough to reveal
himself - he's counting on that.
BELLA
We only have five minutes --
Alice screeches to a halt at a ROAD BLOCK. Italian POLICE
wave her back. Bella jumps out --
BELLA
Where's the square?
ALICE
Follow that lane --
-- Bella's already running --
ALICE
He'll be under the clock tower!
Alice watches her go... then senses something, looks up --
ALICE'S POV - ON THE ROOFTOPS - A FIGURE IN A BLACK HOODED
OVERCOAT leaps from building to building, tracking Bella.
As he disappears, off Alice --
EXT. VOLTERRA ALLEYS - SERIES OF FAST CUTS - DAY
Bella races down the cobble-stoned alleys, stumbling on the
uneven stones. Festival revellers head in the same
direction, she maneuvers around them.
ABOVE BELLA - SEE flashes of the FIGURE IN THE OVERCOAT --
As Bella nears the square, the alleys become more populated.
She pushes past people AD LIBBING "excuse me," "sorry."
Finally, she emerges into --
EXT. PALAZZO DEI PRIORI (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
BELLA'S POV - a sea of scarlet flags, dresses and jackets.
On the other side of the crowded square - THE CLOCK TOWER;
it reads one minute before noon.
Bella battles her way through the square; the crowd shoves
back, shouting at her in Italian --
ITALIAN MAN
Fare attenzione!
98.
Bella charges forward to find herself blocked by --
A FOUNTAIN - Suddenly, GONG! The clock tower bells chime.
It's noon!
Bella jumps into the fountain, wades through the shallow
water to the other side -- she jumps out and barrels through
the crowd. Finally, she SEES --
BELLA'S POV - BENEATH THE CLOCK TOWER
Edward, in the shadows, just inches from the sunlight.
BELLA
Edward! --
-- GONG! Bella's cry is drowned out by the BOOMING CHIME.
She pushes toward him, fighting to reach him as --
CLOSE ON EDWARD (IN SLOW MOTION) - as he unbuttons his
shirt, exposing his bare chest --
ON BELLA (IN SLOW MOTION) - calling his name --
ON EDWARD'S FACE - he closes his eyes, welcoming death --
then slowly --
Edward takes a step into the sunlight, the rays hitting his
shoe, but before the sun touches his skin --
BELLA SLAMS into him - it's like running into a brick wall --
BELLA
No, Edward! Don't!
Edward opens his eyes and looks at Bella as the clock booms
its final CHIME. He's amazed, already dead in his mind.
EDWARD
Carlisle was right... heaven...
BELLA
No, I'm here. I'm alive.
EDWARD
(confused)
You're... not real.
BELLA
Look at me! Alice was wrong.
He begins to realize... she is real.
99.
EDWARD
Bella?
BELLA
Please, step back. I'm alive, I'm --
He suddenly kisses her, stepping back into the shade with
her. They soak each other in like starved people suddenly
nourished. He pulls away to look at her...
EDWARD
You're here.
BELLA
I'm here.
They share a long look, he's about to kiss her again... when
suddenly, he stiffens -- and abruptly PUSHES Bella behind
him, taking a protective stance in front of her --
They face the DARK ALLEY that runs under the clock tower.
Out of the alley's shadows emerge --
TWO FIGURES IN HOODED OVERCOATS. Both stunningly handsome
males in their 20's: FELIX, huge, strong; and DEMETRI,
slender, elegant. Both have unsettling burgundy red EYES.
EDWARD
I won't be needing your services after
all, gentlemen.
FELIX
Aro wants to speak with you again.
EDWARD
No rules were broken.
Demetri's smile suggests he doesn't agree. He's the more
gracious of the two. But no less dangerous.
DEMETRI
We should take this conversation to a
more appropriate venue.
EDWARD
Fine. Bella, why don't you stay and
enjoy the festival?
FELIX
The girl comes with us.
EDWARD
That's not going to happen --
100.
ALICE suddenly appears, lightly tripping through the alley
toward them, pulling back the hood of her white swing coat.
ALICE
Come on, guys, it's a festival.
She reaches Edward and Bella, positioning herself in a
protective stance, as well.
ALICE
We wouldn't want to make a scene.
FELIX
There won't be any scene. And we'll
still win.
EDWARD
But not easily --
JANE (O.S.)
Enough.
A very tiny, young woman appears, JANE. She also wears a
dark overcoat, her Botticelli angel-like face peering out
from under the hood. SEE her CRIMSON IRISES.
Felix and Demetri are back off immediately. Edward and
Alice step back, as well. Bella can see they're afraid of
this small girl.
EDWARD
(nodding to her)
Jane.
BELLA
(sotto to Alice)
Who is she?
ALICE
(sotto to Bella)
Just do as she says.
Jane tosses Edward an overcoat. He dons it.
JANE
Follow me.
Jane simply turns and heads up the alley, confident they'll
follow. Felix, smirking, gestures for them to go ahead of
him. Edward takes Bella's hand...
101.
EXT. VOLTERRA STREETS - DAY
Jane leads Edward, Bella and Alice through several narrow,
dark alleys. Felix and Demetri bring up the rear. Edward
never loosens his grip on Bella's hand.
Their path dead ends at a WALL OF BRICK. Jane just strides
forward and, without breaking pace - drops down into an OPEN
HOLE in the street; it's a drain. Alice follows Jane.
Bella looks down, sees nothing but BLACKNESS.
EDWARD
It's alright. Alice will catch you.
Edward takes her wrists, dangles her over the hole --
INT. SEWERS (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
-- ON BELLA as she drops through the darkness, to be caught
by Alice. Edward lands beside them, then Felix and Demetri.
Edward pulls Bella close as they follow Jane through the
sewer. He meets Bella's eyes, trying to look reassuring,
but he's tense as hell. Finally, they reach --
A FOLDING IRON ELEVATOR DOOR. Jane easily pulls it aside.
They all enter. As the door CLANGS shut on them --
SMASH TO:
CLOSE ON MODERN ELEVATOR DOORS OPENING. They all exit into --
INT. VOLTURI HEADQUARTERS - LOBBY (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
An elegantly decorated space with old world charm. They're
greeted politely by GIANNA an attractive (human) receptionist.
GIANNA
Buon pomeriggio.
They head through the lobby to --
THE LONG CORRIDOR that Edward traversed earlier. Finally,
they reach the carved double doors which open --
INT. CIRCULAR WHITE MARBLE HALL (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
Bella, Edward and Alice enter to face the three ancients:
Aro, Marcus, Caius.
Eight VOLTURI GUARDS (including Jane, Felix, Demetri) line the
walls in a variety of modern dark overcoats.
102.
BELLA'S POV - THE FLOOR - there's a depression in the center
that leads to a drain. Bella shivers.
Aro rises, greets them like old friends, taking Edward's
hand and shaking it --
ARO
What a happy surprise! Bella is alive
after all. Isn't that wonderful?
Caius responds with a sour expression. Marcus could care
less. Aro doesn't release Edward's hand, looks at him as --
ARO
Her blood appeals to you so much it
makes me thirsty. How can you stand
to be so close to her?
EDWARD
It's not without effort.
ARO
(laughing)
I can see that.
Off Bella's look, Edward explains --
EDWARD
One touch and Aro can see every
thought I've ever had in my life.
ARO
You're quite the telepath yourself,
Edward. Though... you can't read
Bella's thoughts. Fascinating.
He releases Edward's hand and turns to Bella.
ARO
I would love to see if you are an
exception to my gifts, as well.
He reaches for Bella's hand. She hesitates, does she have a
choice? Aro laughs at her reluctance, further extends his
hand. Bella finally takes it.
A beat as he holds her hand... confusion sweeping over him.
ARO
Interesting.
He releases her, moves back to his chair, deep in thought.
103.
ARO
I wonder if --
EDWARD
(reading Aro's thoughts)
No!
ARO
Let's see if she's immune to all our
powers, shall we Jane?
Jane turns toward Bella but Edward springs in front of her --
Jane instead focuses her gaze on Edward which FLINGS him
across the room where he collapses, writhing in agony. Jane
concentrates on him with a small smile, enjoying his pain.
BELLA
Stop!
Bella and Alice rush to his side. As soon as Jane looks
away, Edward's pain ceases.
ARO
Jane, dear. The girl?
Jane's gaze now turns toward Bella who cringes, awaiting the
pain... but nothing happens. Jane's grin is replaced by
anger. Aro laughs like a child with a new toy.
Jane, infuriated, moves toward Bella, but Aro stops her with
a tiny gesture.
ARO
Remarkable! She confounds us all. So
what do we do with you now?
MARCUS
(seemingly bored)
You already know what you'll do, Aro.
CAIUS
She knows too much; she's a liability.
ARO
That's true. Unless Edward intends to
give her immortality...
(looks at Edward)
But that's not your intention, is it.
Shame.
He nods to Felix who moves toward Bella, but he only takes a
step before Edward tackles him.
104.
BELLA
Edward, don't!
Alice leaps to help but several Volturi guard hold her back,
which is no easy job. As she struggles mightily --
Edward is David to Felix's Goliath. Edward will lose, but
he'll go down fighting.
-- Edward is fast, anticipating Felix's moves before he
makes them, but Felix is stronger --
-- Felix grabs Edward, throws him into the ceiling, SMASHING
against the marble; he drops like a stone. Is then
immediately KICKED across the room.
BELLA
(to Aro)
Stop this! Please!
But Aro ignores her, leans forward to study Edward. Jane is
itching to step in. Aro gestures her back.
-- Felix takes some hits, but then lifts Edward overhead,
CRACKING him like a nut, then flinging him against a wall --
Bella runs toward Aro but a Volturi Guard flings her away;
she flies HARD against the wall.
The guard is then occupied by the thrashing Alice --
Bella, bruised, but not broken, makes another attempt to get
to Aro -- finally reaches him, kneels in front of him --
BELLA
Do it! Kill me! Just leave them
alone!
-- as she yanks her collar back, exposing her neck to him.
Aro is surprised and intrigued. A beat.
ARO
Enough.
Felix immediately releases Edward who manages to look up.
He sees Bella kneeling in front of Aro.
EDWARD
Get away from her -- !
Edward moves toward Aro but is quickly immediately pinned by
Jane's invisible powers; he writhes in agony. Alice can no
longer bear Edward's suffering --
105.
ALICE
Edward, stop. I've already seen it.
EDWARD
(through gritted teeth)
Alice, stay out of it.
ALICE
I know what to do.
Aro, intrigued, gestures for Jane to stop; Edward goes limp.
ARO
Ah yes, the clairvoyant. I saw your
gift in Edward's thoughts. What is it
you've seen?
EDWARD
... don't...
ALICE
I'm the one who will change Bella.
Bella is taken aback by this. Aro is surprised, as well.
ARO
(beat, then gestures)
Please. Be my guest.
ALICE
Not here. Her father is in law
enforcement. If she goes missing,
there will be questions.
CAIUS
He is easily dealt with.
ALICE
It will happen, Aro. See for
yourself.
She thrusts out her hand. Aro nods to the Guards who
release her. She gives him her hand. He closes his eyes --
SMASH TO:
EXT. FOREST - DAY (ALICE'S VISION)
Edward hunts a deer. Matching his pace is another vampire -
Bella! She's pale and beautiful - she and Edward smile at
each other as they take a last grand leap for the kill --
SMASH BACK TO:
106.
INT. CIRCULAR WHITE MARBLE HALL - DAY
BACK ON ARO, utterly delighted. He releases Alice's hand.
ARO
Mesmerizing! To see the things you've
seen, that haven't happened yet!
Alice moves to Edward's side, helps him up.
ALICE
I'm so sorry.
ARO
(to Bella)
Your gifts will make for an intriguing
immortal. Go make your preparations.
Bella hurries to Edward's side, too. Caius is put out.
CAIUS
You're letting them leave?
ARO
Dear Caius, the girl's disappearance
will be conspicuous at best. And
surely you see her potential.
MARCUS
(dispassionately)
Let us be done with this. Heidi will
arrive any moment.
Aro gestures - Demetri throws open the carved double doors.
Caius glares at them threateningly.
CAIUS
We will make sure she follows through.
I would not delay. We do not offer
second chances.
Edward, recovered now, takes Bella by the arm and, with
Alice, they cautiously back toward the door --
INT. VOLTURI HEADQUARTERS - LONG CORRIDOR (CONTINUOUS) - DAY
-- Demetri leads Bella, Edward and Alice out of the hall.
As they make their way up the corridor, they see coming
toward them --
A GROUP OF TWO DOZEN TOURISTS, led by a beautiful vampire,
HEIDI. Edward, Alice and Bella stop to let them all pass.
As Heidi passes Demetri, he gives her a flirtatious smile --
107.
DEMETRI
(sotto)
Nice fishing, Heidi, save some for me.
Heidi smiles. She gives Bella a curious once-over, then
continues on.
HEIDI
(to the group)
This way, please. Stay together...
A HUSBAND and WIFE, 60's, cameras around their necks, pass
Bella. The Husband winks at Bella --
TOURIST HUSBAND
Unusual tour, isn't it?
TOURIST WIFE
Bill, get a picture of that bust there.
As the Tourists file past, we HEAR a variety of languages,
German, Japanese, English.
The group is moved toward the carved double doors which
swing open for them. They file into the marble hall --
Edward pulls Bella forward, but she cranes her neck back as
the last of the tourists disappear inside.
As the large doors close... we begin to HEAR SCREAMING --
Edward and Alice rush Bella out - PUSH IN ON BELLA'S
TORMENTED FACE as the SCREAMING gets louder... and louder --
SMASH TO:
INT. BELLA'S ROOM - NIGHT
ON BELLA'S SLEEPING FACE as the SCREAMING CRESCENDOS --
Bella sits bolt upright, yelling --
BELLA
-- Stop!
She catches her breath, disoriented, confused. Then she
turns to find Edward lying beside her, looking at her.
BELLA
It... wasn't a dream.
EDWARD
Go back to sleep. You've been through
a lot.
108.
BELLA
No, you might --
EDWARD
I'll be here when you wake up.
Beat, she looks at him, wary.
BELLA
Why? Out of guilt?
EDWARD
(realizing)
You... think I asked the Volturi to
kill me because I felt guilty?
BELLA
Didn't you?
EDWARD
I went to them because I thought I'd
lost you.
BELLA
You didn't even want me.
Now Edward takes her by the shoulders.
EDWARD
Bella. The only reason I left was to
protect you. I wanted you to have a
chance at a normal, happy life.
BELLA
But it was so easy for you to leave.
EDWARD
I had to be convincing. But easy? In
my hundred years, I've never had a
harder time than what I just went
through.
She's beginning to believe him.
BELLA
I kept seeing you. Visions of you.
Always protecting me. I thought I was
going crazy.
EDWARD
Your own instincts were speaking to
you. I wish it had been me. But
you're the heroic one. You saved me.
109.
He moves to kiss her... but abruptly stops. Suddenly --
HER DOOR swings open - she spins toward it as the LIGHTS
flip on and Charlie enters. Edward is gone.
CHARLIE
You alright? Another nightmare?
BELLA
I'm okay. You don't have to worry.
CHARLIE
Last time you said that, you
disappeared. You want to talk
nightmares?
BELLA
(sincere)
I'm really sorry, Dad.
CHARLIE
Just... don't ever do that to me
again. Okay?
(off her nod)
And you're grounded for the rest of
your life.
BELLA
I know.
CHARLIE
Get some rest so I can keep lecturing
you in the morning.
He kisses her forehead. Exits. A beat... she turns to find
Edward sitting on the bed.
EDWARD
He won't forgive me easily.
BELLA
Nope.
EDWARD
Will you? I don't deserve it but... I
hope you will. Because I honestly
have no idea how to live without you.
Bella melts in his eyes. He kisses her.
BELLA
You won't be able to get rid of me
once Alice changes me.
110.
EDWARD
She won't have to. There are ways to
keep the Volturi in the dark.
BELLA
(pulling away)
They'll come after your whole family.
You'd risk that just to keep me human?
EDWARD
Just? You really don't understand
what you'd be giving up.
BELLA
I really do.
They look at each other; an impasse. She decides something,
grabs her jeans, pulls them on--
BELLA
You're not the only one with a say in it.
INT. CULLEN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAWN
CLOSE ON BELLA --
BELLA
You all know what Edward wants. And
you know what I want. But I won't
force myself on you...
INCLUDE THE ENTIRE CULLEN FAMILY who surround Bella. The
house has been restored to it's original warmth and beauty.
Edward sits off to the side as Bella addresses them.
BELLA
I think the only fair way to handle
this is by vote --
EDWARD
You can't be serious --
BELLA
(firmly)
This is my meeting, Edward.
Edward, frustrated, sits back. She faces the family again.
BELLA
However this turns out, I'm not
letting the Volturi hurt you. I'll go
back to Italy alone --
111.
EMMETT
The hell you will. I'm not missing
another fight.
BELLA
That's not up for a vote, Emmett. I
don't want you involved.
ESME
We've always been involved, honey, and
we're not going to stop --
BELLA
No, please -- I want you to seriously
think about this. If I join you,
you'll be stuck with me for a long
time - forever. It's a huge decision.
And I want - I need your honesty here.
They nod or otherwise communicate agreement.
BELLA
Then let's take a vote... Alice?
Alice jumps up and hugs Bella.
ALICE
Like you're not already my sister. Of
course, yes!
Bella smiles. Jasper rises, but keeps his distance.
JASPER
I vote yes. It'll be a relief not to
want to kill you.
BELLA
Um. Thanks? Okay, Rosalie?
Rosalie, torn, looks at Edward who's stony toward her.
ROSALIE
Edward, I'm sorry for what I did. I
really am. And I know you're not
ready to forgive me...
(to Bella)
But this isn't the life I'd have
chosen for myself. I wish there'd
been someone to vote no for me...
(she exchanges a glance
with Carlisle - then...)
So... no.
112.
Bella takes it stoically. Emmett bounds over and lifts
Bella into a bear hug.
EMMETT
I vote hell yeah. We can pick a fight
with these Volturi some other way.
Esme approaches and embraces Bella warmly.
ESME
I already think of you as part of the
family. Yes.
BELLA
Thank you, Esme.
Carlisle moves, not to Bella, but to --
CARLISLE
Edward --
EDWARD
You can't go along with this,
Carlisle, you know what it means.
CARLISLE
You've chosen not to live without her,
which leaves me no choice. I won't
lose my son.
(turns to Bella)
But Alice has never turned anyone.
It'd be safer if I did it --
The front door suddenly SLAMS. Edward's gone. Bella
blanches but turns to the family.
BELLA
Thank you. Thank you all.
EXT. CULLEN HOUSE - SAME
POV FROM AFAR ON A HILLTOP -- REVEAL IT'S VICTORIA watching
the house down below. Off her seething fury --
SMASH TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - MOMENTS LATER
A FERRARI has pulled over to the side of the road. VICTORIA
PEERS IN THE WINDOW. The DRIVER, a middle-aged man smiles --
VICTORIA
Where you headed?
113.
DRIVER
Seattle.
VICTORIA
(a slow grin)
Sounds perfect.
As she climbs in...
INT. EDWARD'S CAR - MORNING
Edward drives Bella home. He is somber. She is resigned.
EDWARD
When?
BELLA
After graduation.
EDWARD
Just two months.
BELLA
It'll be best for Dad that way. I can
pretend to be at college somewhere.
Carlisle suggested it. But...
(quiet, emotional)
I wish you'd be the one to change me.
EDWARD
(beat)
Would you be willing to trade for that?
BELLA
(hopeful)
Name it.
EDWARD
Five more years as a human.
BELLA
The Volturi won't wait that long.
EDWARD
I'll settle for three.
BELLA
(sadly, shakes her head)
I won't risk it. It'll have to be
Carlisle.
He takes her hand.
114.
EDWARD
Why are you so willing to give up your
soul?
BELLA
Because I don't believe you've lost
yours. And I want to share mine with
you forever.
He looks to her, kisses her hand... then suddenly Edward
SLAMS on the brakes --
THEIR POV - THE ROAD
-- Someone stands in the road directly in front of them --
it's JACOB. He glares, then turns and walks into the woods.
BELLA
What is he doing?
EDWARD
He wants to talk to me.
BELLA
Well, he can talk to me first.
She pushes out of the car --
INT. WOODS - MORNING
Edward and Bella tramp through the woods to FIND -- Jacob
leaning against a tree. His expression is hard.
JACOB
You're still alive.
BELLA
I've been calling you.
JACOB
Couldn't drop by?
EDWARD
He thinks I'm keeping you away.
JACOB
(spinning on him)
Stay the hell out of my head!
BELLA
Dad grounded me, Jake. We're trying
to get back before he wakes up.
115.
Jacob doesn't buy it. Bella is frustrated. But Edward
takes a step toward Jacob. Calm. Diplomatic.
EDWARD
Jacob, I know you have something to
say to me, but I'd like to say
something first. Alright?
Jacob leans back against the tree, arms folded, waiting.
EDWARD
(sincere)
Thank you. For keeping Bella alive
when I... didn't.
JACOB
No, you didn't. And it wasn't for
your benefit, trust me.
EDWARD
I know. I'm still grateful.
(then)
But I'm back now. And I'm not leaving
Bella's side till she orders me away.
She looks at him. He returns the look. Jacob sees the
devotion between them. It wounds him. But he masks it.
JACOB
We'll see.
EDWARD
Either way, we'll handle Victoria from
here on out.
JACOB
She's been laying low. Ever since
your freaky sister showed up. Guess
she can't stand you Cullens either.
EDWARD
She'll come back.
JACOB
She does, she's ours. She killed on
our turf.
EDWARD
We'll see.
JACOB
My turn to talk. I'm here to remind
you about a key point in the Treaty.
116.
EDWARD
(reads his thoughts, nods)
I haven't forgotten.
JACOB
Good.
BELLA
What? What key point?
JACOB
If any of them bites a human, the
truce is over. That's bite, not kill.
BELLA
(realizing)
But... if I choose it, it's none of
your business.
Jacob is horrified, starting to shake with rage.
JACOB
If you... what!? No. No way. I
won't let you --
EDWARD
-- Bella, step back --
JACOB
You're not gonna be one of them.
BELLA
That's not your call --
JACOB
(even more intense)
You know what we'll do to you - I
won't have a choice --
EDWARD
We're done here --
Edward takes Bella's arm, starts to pull her away. Jacob
lunges, trying to extract Bella from him --
JACOB
You don't speak for her!
Edward PUSHES Jacob away; he flies back ten feet in the air,
but mid-air he PHASES INTO A WOLF!
117.
-- The Jacob-wolf lands on all fours, spinning to face
Edward in an attack stance. Edward shifts stance, as well,
readying for a fight --
BELLA
Stop!
Edward and Jacob circle one another, seconds from lunging --
EDWARD
(to Bella)
Get out of here. Now!
But Bella races between them, forceful, insistent.
BELLA
(to both of them)
You do this, you'll be going through me.
A long tense beat, none of them backing down - it could go
either way --
BELLA
I swear to God, I'm not moving.
Both rivals see she's dead serious. Edward backs off, ever-
so-slightly... the Jacob-wolf does the same.
BELLA
(turning to Edward)
Give me a second. Please.
Edward shakes his head. Doesn't move an inch.
BELLA
Read his thoughts. Is he going to
hurt me?
Edward does, and finally, reluctantly backs away. But his
eyes never leave the wolf's. They glare at one another.
Bella carefully approaches the Jacob-wolf, blocking his line
of sight. Her voice is kind, pleading.
BELLA
Jacob, I love you. You're my best
friend. But... I can't change how I
feel. Please don't make me choose.
(quietly, emotionally)
Because it'll be him. It's always
been him.
118.
Anguish sweeps through the wolf's fierce face. It's even
harder to take than when he's in human form --
BELLA
But you know how important you are to --
Suddenly, the wolf BOLTS out of there...
ON BELLA - fighting tears as she watches him disappear...
BELLA (V.O.)
There were problems ahead. Seemingly
insurmountable...
Edward's arms wrap around her from behind.
BELLA (V.O.)
... If I didn't become a vampire, the
Volturi would kill me. If I did, my
best friend would do the job himself,
or get killed in the attempt.
She turns to face Edward, looking into his loving eyes...
BELLA (V.O.)
Victoria was still on the loose,
putting everyone I loved in danger...
He kisses her tenderly, washing away her concerns.
BELLA (V.O.)
But I'd already survived the worst --
losing Edward. So I knew I could
survive anything...
EDWARD
I'm here. Always.
And she sees that's the truth, believes it. He takes her
hand and together they turn, heading out of the woods...
BELLA (V.O.)
And soon, I'd be like him. We'd face
our fate together. Forever.
Off them, hand in hand, inseparable... as we begin to --
FADE TO BLACK:
... HEAR the agonized HOWL of a wolf in the far distance...
THE END
